Three days ago (August 31) I lost my baby girl, Princess. She was the first dog that my family ever had and the pain and sadness I feel has been worse than I could have ever imagined. 9 years ago, I brought Princess home when I was 16 years old and although reluctant, my parents and my sister immediately fell in love with her and ever since, she has been another member of the family. I recently moved from Texas to NYC because of work and left my baby girl at home with my parents. My father is retired so they had both been used to spending their days together. My mother called me recently and told me that Princess had been sick for about three weeks. She told me that the vets initially thought it was cancer, but they then ruled it out because they couldn't find a source. Princess had stopped eating and my mother was trying to do everything to get her to eat, including hand feeding her high calorie dog food to try to get her weight back up. After several visits with a couple of different specialists, the test results showed that Princess had pneumonia. My mother told me that she was on antibiotics. As it turned out, I had a trip scheduled back to Texas in a couple of days so although I was scared, I felt good knowing that I was on my way to see my baby girl.
When I got to my parents house and saw Princess, I immediately broke down in tears. Her little pot belly was gone and she was just so small and bony from all of the weight she had lost. Her breathing was very heavy and it was so hard for me to see her like that. My mother, my father, my boyfriend, and I all sat in the backyard with her. My father even talked about how she was looking better today - that her ears were perked up for the first time in awhile and that he thought she was going to get better.
I held my baby girl and looked right at her and told her how much I loved her. I kissed her again and again. After a few minutes, she stood up and I could tell she wanted down so I set her on the ground and she made her way to the grass. She was lying the in sunlight and in that moment, she must have felt at peace to let go. When her breathing started slowing to a stop, I was in complete shock and panic. My mother held her and I ran inside because, at the time, I could not bare to accept what was happening and I guess I felt that if I wan't watching then maybe it wasn't real. I heard my mother say "she's gone" and I just fell to the floor.
That was truly the hardest day of my life and now that it's over all I can feel is extreme sadness and horrible guilt. I know that my baby literally held on and waited for me to come to her before feeling at peace to let go and I really think that is just so incredible, but I can not stop replaying the whole horrible scene out over and over again in my head. I can't help but feel so much guilt, especially with the "what if s" that keep popping up. What if it was my fault? - that my parents had been so strong and I was so weak when I first saw her - what if she gave up after she saw me because I couldn't be strong enough for her? What if I would have been able to be home for her sooner? Or worse - what if I had been a few hours late?.. What if she held on just a few more days? Would the antibiotics have started working? Did I abandon her because I wasn't there physically in her last seconds?
Each day is so hard and all I can do is cry and cry. I am trying so hard to be ok and to think about all of the love we gave her and she gave us and to think of all of the happy times, but it still makes me sad, especially when those last few minutes keep playing out in my head like a broken record. I knew Princess was sick, but her passing was unexpected to our whole family. This is my first time to ever experience anything like this and I really don't know what to do. I just feel so sad.
Full Version: Overwhelmingly Sad And Guilt Ridden
Oh My Goodness, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you will find comfort and support here. We are all going through loss at some stage. Many have been on this site for many years and return. It is a place where I find kindred spirits and kindness.
I understand from recent first hand experience what you are going through. My MacKenzie waited for me to pick her up from the vet from surgery that in retrospect cost her her life. She was very cold when they handed her to me. She was already dying. She talked and talked to me nonstop. The vet said she had not uttered a word since I dropped her off the day before. I held her for an hour with heating pads to try and raise her body temp. Her vital signs were good, surprisingly enough, and I took her home. She talked to me in the car, but her mews lessened. My heart sank. I set her up immediately in a bathroom with a kitten recovering from severe trauma, where she would stay to recover from her surgery. I had hoped the two could comfort and keep each other company. She would not get up and barely responded. Within 30 min she was gone. She took her last breath as I tried to situate her in a more comfortable position. That last scene haunted me to the ends of the earth and I can really barely think about it. I have come a long way in my grief journey that I now see her as she was in the picture I posted, far away from me, nestled in kind of gray cloud... (You can read more on my post if you want to.) I went through all the questioning you did. I tortured myself endlessly with guilt, shame, judgment... I know how you are hurting and I understand.
Know that in as much as these words may be meaningless and empty right now, you will get through this. Your little Princess was sick and under the best of care. She knew she didn't have much time and things lined up for you to get there for her to tell you she loved you one more time. You did nothing wrong. It may take you some time to believe this. Her spirit will be with you always, you just have to be ready to receive her presence in a different form, and for us humans, that is a tall order since we are attached to the physical presence as much as the animal's spirit.
I will write more later. Others have already visited, I see from your visit count. Moon_beam, a moderator and long-standing member here, will visit soon, too. She is a great comfort and wonderful mentor to each of us here. Her words soothe and heal, and she will be here for as long as you need her. Through the help on this site and insight from a friend who does reading and Reiki, I was able to move through the worst of my grief.
xoxo
I understand from recent first hand experience what you are going through. My MacKenzie waited for me to pick her up from the vet from surgery that in retrospect cost her her life. She was very cold when they handed her to me. She was already dying. She talked and talked to me nonstop. The vet said she had not uttered a word since I dropped her off the day before. I held her for an hour with heating pads to try and raise her body temp. Her vital signs were good, surprisingly enough, and I took her home. She talked to me in the car, but her mews lessened. My heart sank. I set her up immediately in a bathroom with a kitten recovering from severe trauma, where she would stay to recover from her surgery. I had hoped the two could comfort and keep each other company. She would not get up and barely responded. Within 30 min she was gone. She took her last breath as I tried to situate her in a more comfortable position. That last scene haunted me to the ends of the earth and I can really barely think about it. I have come a long way in my grief journey that I now see her as she was in the picture I posted, far away from me, nestled in kind of gray cloud... (You can read more on my post if you want to.) I went through all the questioning you did. I tortured myself endlessly with guilt, shame, judgment... I know how you are hurting and I understand.
Know that in as much as these words may be meaningless and empty right now, you will get through this. Your little Princess was sick and under the best of care. She knew she didn't have much time and things lined up for you to get there for her to tell you she loved you one more time. You did nothing wrong. It may take you some time to believe this. Her spirit will be with you always, you just have to be ready to receive her presence in a different form, and for us humans, that is a tall order since we are attached to the physical presence as much as the animal's spirit.
I will write more later. Others have already visited, I see from your visit count. Moon_beam, a moderator and long-standing member here, will visit soon, too. She is a great comfort and wonderful mentor to each of us here. Her words soothe and heal, and she will be here for as long as you need her. Through the help on this site and insight from a friend who does reading and Reiki, I was able to move through the worst of my grief.
xoxo
Hi, Princess' Mom, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Princess. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. I know it is little comfort to you right now, but I hope in time you will come to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Princess transitioned home to the angels in the place she loves the most surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of her Forever Home, and wrapped in the enduring eternal love of her human Forever Family.
Our forum friend Monique has offered much comfort in her response to you that is also similar to the comfort I share with you, so please read her response often and know that it also reflects the comfort, support, and encouragement I hold for you in my heart.
There are couple of things I would like to share with you in my own words. The first is that I would like to try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Scientifc studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their sorrow it will make the grief pain less intense. Clinical studies prove suppressing grief is very harmful and could result in serious medical situations further down the road. So, please go ahead and cry as much and as frequently as you need to - - even if you must find a private place to release your sorrow. I remember all too well the deep gut wrenching sobbing during the deep grief when one of my beloved companions transitioned home to the angels. It's a part of the grief adjustment journey, Princess' Mom, particularly during the deep searing pain.
The next thing I would like to share with you is that your beloved Princess KNOWS that you love her, and there is no doubt in my mind that she held on for the moment when you could be with her so that she could feel your loving touch one more time in her physical life and hear the depth of your love for her in your voice. One of the many painful adjustments during our grief journey is to the physical absence of our beloved companion. We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Our lives are changed for the better when we embrace our companions into our hearts and home as they literally become the center of our universe. Our lives are changed again when they precede us to the angels because we are now faced with the excruciatingly painful task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer include their sweet precious physical presence, and we literally experience a physical withdrawal from their chemical imprint on us when they rub against us and lick / kiss us. Some of us here, including me, find it helpful to hold a blanket, toy, collar, picture - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companion when the pain of not being able to hold them in our arms is more than what our hearts can bear. No, it isn't the same as holding our beloved companion, but it does help to soothe the pain as we adjust to their physical absence.
Clinical professionals recognize now that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend. Sadly our society in general does not accept this, and sometimes some of the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally do not. So please know you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through, and that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Although this grief adjustment journey is filled with many challenges there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Princess share. Love is eternal, Princess' Mom - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Princess with us, and these adorable pictures of your sweet little girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Princess' Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Our forum friend Monique has offered much comfort in her response to you that is also similar to the comfort I share with you, so please read her response often and know that it also reflects the comfort, support, and encouragement I hold for you in my heart.
There are couple of things I would like to share with you in my own words. The first is that I would like to try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Scientifc studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their sorrow it will make the grief pain less intense. Clinical studies prove suppressing grief is very harmful and could result in serious medical situations further down the road. So, please go ahead and cry as much and as frequently as you need to - - even if you must find a private place to release your sorrow. I remember all too well the deep gut wrenching sobbing during the deep grief when one of my beloved companions transitioned home to the angels. It's a part of the grief adjustment journey, Princess' Mom, particularly during the deep searing pain.
The next thing I would like to share with you is that your beloved Princess KNOWS that you love her, and there is no doubt in my mind that she held on for the moment when you could be with her so that she could feel your loving touch one more time in her physical life and hear the depth of your love for her in your voice. One of the many painful adjustments during our grief journey is to the physical absence of our beloved companion. We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Our lives are changed for the better when we embrace our companions into our hearts and home as they literally become the center of our universe. Our lives are changed again when they precede us to the angels because we are now faced with the excruciatingly painful task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer include their sweet precious physical presence, and we literally experience a physical withdrawal from their chemical imprint on us when they rub against us and lick / kiss us. Some of us here, including me, find it helpful to hold a blanket, toy, collar, picture - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companion when the pain of not being able to hold them in our arms is more than what our hearts can bear. No, it isn't the same as holding our beloved companion, but it does help to soothe the pain as we adjust to their physical absence.
Clinical professionals recognize now that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend. Sadly our society in general does not accept this, and sometimes some of the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally do not. So please know you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through, and that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Although this grief adjustment journey is filled with many challenges there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Princess share. Love is eternal, Princess' Mom - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Princess with us, and these adorable pictures of your sweet little girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Princess' Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Monique,
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story about MacKenzie. I am so sorry that you had to see her go like that because I know that it is the most heart breaking and horrible experience. It does bring me comfort and hope to know that you were able to move through the worst of your grief, as I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I am very grateful for this site and again, thank you so much for taking the time to respond and tell your story to me. I hope that I soon will be able to replace those last memories with all of the good ones.
Catherine
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story about MacKenzie. I am so sorry that you had to see her go like that because I know that it is the most heart breaking and horrible experience. It does bring me comfort and hope to know that you were able to move through the worst of your grief, as I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I am very grateful for this site and again, thank you so much for taking the time to respond and tell your story to me. I hope that I soon will be able to replace those last memories with all of the good ones.
Catherine
QUOTE (Monique @ Sep 4 2014, 08:28 AM) 
Oh My Goodness, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you will find comfort and support here. We are all going through loss at some stage. Many have been on this site for many years and return. It is a place where I find kindred spirits and kindness.
I understand from recent first hand experience what you are going through. My MacKenzie waited for me to pick her up from the vet from surgery that in retrospect cost her her life. She was very cold when they handed her to me. She was already dying. She talked and talked to me nonstop. The vet said she had not uttered a word since I dropped her off the day before. I held her for an hour with heating pads to try and raise her body temp. Her vital signs were good, surprisingly enough, and I took her home. She talked to me in the car, but her mews lessened. My heart sank. I set her up immediately in a bathroom with a kitten recovering from severe trauma, where she would stay to recover from her surgery. I had hoped the two could comfort and keep each other company. She would not get up and barely responded. Within 30 min she was gone. She took her last breath as I tried to situate her in a more comfortable position. That last scene haunted me to the ends of the earth and I can really barely think about it. I have come a long way in my grief journey that I now see her as she was in the picture I posted, far away from me, nestled in kind of gray cloud... (You can read more on my post if you want to.) I went through all the questioning you did. I tortured myself endlessly with guilt, shame, judgment... I know how you are hurting and I understand.
Know that in as much as these words may be meaningless and empty right now, you will get through this. Your little Princess was sick and under the best of care. She knew she didn't have much time and things lined up for you to get there for her to tell you she loved you one more time. You did nothing wrong. It may take you some time to believe this. Her spirit will be with you always, you just have to be ready to receive her presence in a different form, and for us humans, that is a tall order since we are attached to the physical presence as much as the animal's spirit.
I will write more later. Others have already visited, I see from your visit count. Moon_beam, a moderator and long-standing member here, will visit soon, too. She is a great comfort and wonderful mentor to each of us here. Her words soothe and heal, and she will be here for as long as you need her. Through the help on this site and insight from a friend who does reading and Reiki, I was able to move through the worst of my grief.
xoxo
I understand from recent first hand experience what you are going through. My MacKenzie waited for me to pick her up from the vet from surgery that in retrospect cost her her life. She was very cold when they handed her to me. She was already dying. She talked and talked to me nonstop. The vet said she had not uttered a word since I dropped her off the day before. I held her for an hour with heating pads to try and raise her body temp. Her vital signs were good, surprisingly enough, and I took her home. She talked to me in the car, but her mews lessened. My heart sank. I set her up immediately in a bathroom with a kitten recovering from severe trauma, where she would stay to recover from her surgery. I had hoped the two could comfort and keep each other company. She would not get up and barely responded. Within 30 min she was gone. She took her last breath as I tried to situate her in a more comfortable position. That last scene haunted me to the ends of the earth and I can really barely think about it. I have come a long way in my grief journey that I now see her as she was in the picture I posted, far away from me, nestled in kind of gray cloud... (You can read more on my post if you want to.) I went through all the questioning you did. I tortured myself endlessly with guilt, shame, judgment... I know how you are hurting and I understand.
Know that in as much as these words may be meaningless and empty right now, you will get through this. Your little Princess was sick and under the best of care. She knew she didn't have much time and things lined up for you to get there for her to tell you she loved you one more time. You did nothing wrong. It may take you some time to believe this. Her spirit will be with you always, you just have to be ready to receive her presence in a different form, and for us humans, that is a tall order since we are attached to the physical presence as much as the animal's spirit.
I will write more later. Others have already visited, I see from your visit count. Moon_beam, a moderator and long-standing member here, will visit soon, too. She is a great comfort and wonderful mentor to each of us here. Her words soothe and heal, and she will be here for as long as you need her. Through the help on this site and insight from a friend who does reading and Reiki, I was able to move through the worst of my grief.
xoxo
Hi Moon beam,
Thank you so much for your response to my post. When I read what you wrote about Princess being "wrapped in the enduring eternal love of her human Forever Family", it really sank into my heart. I am grateful that I found this site and it brings me comfort to know that I am not alone in this. I am lucky to say that I have several friends who have been very supportive, but I feel that it is hard for them to really understand.
I go through the motions of my day to day, but the memories from those last moments will unexpectedly pop into my head, and the guilt will take over and I can't help but break down. I was so unprepared for this. I had no idea that that would be the last time I would see Princess. We had even bought a little shirt for her and said that we would put on her when she went inside. She never made it in. Today was especially hard. I love my little angel so much and I would give anything to be able to hold her one last time.
Again, thank you taking the time to help me through this extremely painful journey.
-Catherine
Thank you so much for your response to my post. When I read what you wrote about Princess being "wrapped in the enduring eternal love of her human Forever Family", it really sank into my heart. I am grateful that I found this site and it brings me comfort to know that I am not alone in this. I am lucky to say that I have several friends who have been very supportive, but I feel that it is hard for them to really understand.
I go through the motions of my day to day, but the memories from those last moments will unexpectedly pop into my head, and the guilt will take over and I can't help but break down. I was so unprepared for this. I had no idea that that would be the last time I would see Princess. We had even bought a little shirt for her and said that we would put on her when she went inside. She never made it in. Today was especially hard. I love my little angel so much and I would give anything to be able to hold her one last time.
Again, thank you taking the time to help me through this extremely painful journey.
-Catherine
QUOTE (moon_beam @ Sep 4 2014, 11:09 AM)
Hi, Princess' Mom, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Princess. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. I know it is little comfort to you right now, but I hope in time you will come to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Princess transitioned home to the angels in the place she loves the most surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of her Forever Home, and wrapped in the enduring eternal love of her human Forever Family.
Our forum friend Monique has offered much comfort in her response to you that is also similar to the comfort I share with you, so please read her response often and know that it also reflects the comfort, support, and encouragement I hold for you in my heart.
There are couple of things I would like to share with you in my own words. The first is that I would like to try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Scientifc studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their sorrow it will make the grief pain less intense. Clinical studies prove suppressing grief is very harmful and could result in serious medical situations further down the road. So, please go ahead and cry as much and as frequently as you need to - - even if you must find a private place to release your sorrow. I remember all too well the deep gut wrenching sobbing during the deep grief when one of my beloved companions transitioned home to the angels. It's a part of the grief adjustment journey, Princess' Mom, particularly during the deep searing pain.
The next thing I would like to share with you is that your beloved Princess KNOWS that you love her, and there is no doubt in my mind that she held on for the moment when you could be with her so that she could feel your loving touch one more time in her physical life and hear the depth of your love for her in your voice. One of the many painful adjustments during our grief journey is to the physical absence of our beloved companion. We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Our lives are changed for the better when we embrace our companions into our hearts and home as they literally become the center of our universe. Our lives are changed again when they precede us to the angels because we are now faced with the excruciatingly painful task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer include their sweet precious physical presence, and we literally experience a physical withdrawal from their chemical imprint on us when they rub against us and lick / kiss us. Some of us here, including me, find it helpful to hold a blanket, toy, collar, picture - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companion when the pain of not being able to hold them in our arms is more than what our hearts can bear. No, it isn't the same as holding our beloved companion, but it does help to soothe the pain as we adjust to their physical absence.
Clinical professionals recognize now that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend. Sadly our society in general does not accept this, and sometimes some of the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally do not. So please know you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through, and that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Although this grief adjustment journey is filled with many challenges there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Princess share. Love is eternal, Princess' Mom - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Princess with us, and these adorable pictures of your sweet little girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Princess' Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Our forum friend Monique has offered much comfort in her response to you that is also similar to the comfort I share with you, so please read her response often and know that it also reflects the comfort, support, and encouragement I hold for you in my heart.
There are couple of things I would like to share with you in my own words. The first is that I would like to try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Scientifc studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their sorrow it will make the grief pain less intense. Clinical studies prove suppressing grief is very harmful and could result in serious medical situations further down the road. So, please go ahead and cry as much and as frequently as you need to - - even if you must find a private place to release your sorrow. I remember all too well the deep gut wrenching sobbing during the deep grief when one of my beloved companions transitioned home to the angels. It's a part of the grief adjustment journey, Princess' Mom, particularly during the deep searing pain.
The next thing I would like to share with you is that your beloved Princess KNOWS that you love her, and there is no doubt in my mind that she held on for the moment when you could be with her so that she could feel your loving touch one more time in her physical life and hear the depth of your love for her in your voice. One of the many painful adjustments during our grief journey is to the physical absence of our beloved companion. We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Our lives are changed for the better when we embrace our companions into our hearts and home as they literally become the center of our universe. Our lives are changed again when they precede us to the angels because we are now faced with the excruciatingly painful task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer include their sweet precious physical presence, and we literally experience a physical withdrawal from their chemical imprint on us when they rub against us and lick / kiss us. Some of us here, including me, find it helpful to hold a blanket, toy, collar, picture - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companion when the pain of not being able to hold them in our arms is more than what our hearts can bear. No, it isn't the same as holding our beloved companion, but it does help to soothe the pain as we adjust to their physical absence.
Clinical professionals recognize now that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend. Sadly our society in general does not accept this, and sometimes some of the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally do not. So please know you are among friends here who truly understand what you are going through, and that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Although this grief adjustment journey is filled with many challenges there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Princess share. Love is eternal, Princess' Mom - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Princess with us, and these adorable pictures of your sweet little girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Princess' Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Catherine, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, it never ceases to amaze me how life continues on when the purpose and meaning to our world has transitioned home to the angels. This is a moment in time during our grief journey that I refer to as functioning on "automatic pilot" - - jobs get done, chores are done, bills are paid, meals prepared, etc., - - but we do not feel an active part of what is happening around us - - like looking into a window only observing life's activities. The routines that brought meaning to our daily lives no longer exists - - fixing our companion's meals, watching TV with our companion snuggled next to us, sleeping, waking up - - nothing is now the same and never will be again. We are faced with the excruciatingly painful task of re-inventing our lives that no longer includes the physical needs and interaction with our beloved companion.
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal when you share with us: "I was so unprepared for this. I had no idea that that would be the last time I would see Princess. I love my little angel so much and I would give anything to be able to hold her one last time." I can tell you from first hand experience that no matter how long we are blessed with the privilege of our companions during their earthly journey we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime - - with them. When they precede us to the angels, we are blessed to be their living tribute and witnesses to the many lessons of enduring love they shared with us during their earthly journey - - and continue to share with us through the blessing of their sweet Living Spirit forever in our hearts and memories.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Catherine, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal when you share with us: "I was so unprepared for this. I had no idea that that would be the last time I would see Princess. I love my little angel so much and I would give anything to be able to hold her one last time." I can tell you from first hand experience that no matter how long we are blessed with the privilege of our companions during their earthly journey we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime - - with them. When they precede us to the angels, we are blessed to be their living tribute and witnesses to the many lessons of enduring love they shared with us during their earthly journey - - and continue to share with us through the blessing of their sweet Living Spirit forever in our hearts and memories.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Catherine, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Moon Beam,
It's been a few weeks now and as the time goes by, it definitely isn't getting any easier, although some days are better than others. I've been staying very busy, but also still allow myself to grieve. My parents have been talking about getting a new dog because they are lonely without Princess. I can't even imagine the thought of putting myself in a position to feel this kind of pain ever again. They want another yorkie, but I fear that their expectations of the new dog will never live up to those of Princess. I want them to do whatever it takes to help themselves heal, but I don't want them to just replace her. I don't think I will ever be able to stop mourning and I feel like the deep sadness in my heart will never go away.
Thank you for your support,
Catherine
It's been a few weeks now and as the time goes by, it definitely isn't getting any easier, although some days are better than others. I've been staying very busy, but also still allow myself to grieve. My parents have been talking about getting a new dog because they are lonely without Princess. I can't even imagine the thought of putting myself in a position to feel this kind of pain ever again. They want another yorkie, but I fear that their expectations of the new dog will never live up to those of Princess. I want them to do whatever it takes to help themselves heal, but I don't want them to just replace her. I don't think I will ever be able to stop mourning and I feel like the deep sadness in my heart will never go away.
Thank you for your support,
Catherine
Hi Catherine,
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beloved angel Princess. What a beatiful name princess is ins't it? My baby girls name was also princess an its wonderful to meet another princess Mommy that means we are able to understand one another. Tears were coming out when I was reading your story of how you lost your baby how awful it must have been for you seeing your baby take her last breath right ib front of you. But what it was special about it was that you were able to have your little princess near you before she passed away peacefully. it seems to me that's what your little baby girl wanted before he left this earth just to have one last time with you because she knew you love her. I complety understand how you are feeling because its hard or me to I'm still miserable eventhough its been 4months since I lost my little girl princess it seems like it was yesterday that happen an my mind just can't seem to forget it its to painful. I wish they was something that I could do to help you feel better but I don't know how since I'm still grieving myself at this time. Maybe it will be helpful if we are able to help one another an see if that way our grief process will be less painful. if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to I'm here fo.you remember you are not alone on this. You will be in my thoughts an prayers an sending you a big warm hug take care.
~ Mayra (princess mommy an now Blanca's mommy)
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beloved angel Princess. What a beatiful name princess is ins't it? My baby girls name was also princess an its wonderful to meet another princess Mommy that means we are able to understand one another. Tears were coming out when I was reading your story of how you lost your baby how awful it must have been for you seeing your baby take her last breath right ib front of you. But what it was special about it was that you were able to have your little princess near you before she passed away peacefully. it seems to me that's what your little baby girl wanted before he left this earth just to have one last time with you because she knew you love her. I complety understand how you are feeling because its hard or me to I'm still miserable eventhough its been 4months since I lost my little girl princess it seems like it was yesterday that happen an my mind just can't seem to forget it its to painful. I wish they was something that I could do to help you feel better but I don't know how since I'm still grieving myself at this time. Maybe it will be helpful if we are able to help one another an see if that way our grief process will be less painful. if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to I'm here fo.you remember you are not alone on this. You will be in my thoughts an prayers an sending you a big warm hug take care.
~ Mayra (princess mommy an now Blanca's mommy)
Hi, Catherine, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Some people find it helpful to embrace a new companion into their hearts and home quickly after a loss as caring for a companion can help some people through their deep grief. Some people prefer to wait until their deep grief has eased before considering adopting another companion. Some people fill the emptiness in their lives when a companion has joined the angels by pet sitting for a family member or friend or doing foster care. And some people - - for whatever reason - - decide never to adopt another companion. And as you mentioned - - some people adopt another companion with expectations of them being a "clone" of their beloved companion only to find out that their new companion has a personality all of his / her own. Some people eventually adjust to this while others find themselves heartbroken and either give their companion to another family member or surrender him / her to a shelter.
Only YOU, Catherine, can decide what is best for you when it comes to adopting another companion. It's hard when you live with other people who are "ready" sooner than you are to welcome another companion into the household. During the deep grief it is perfectly normal to feel as you do when you share with us: "I don't think I will ever be able to stop mourning and I feel like the deep sadness in my heart will never go away." I promise you, Catherine, that one day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Princess and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill with the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Princess share. Until this time comes for you, though, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Catherine, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Only YOU, Catherine, can decide what is best for you when it comes to adopting another companion. It's hard when you live with other people who are "ready" sooner than you are to welcome another companion into the household. During the deep grief it is perfectly normal to feel as you do when you share with us: "I don't think I will ever be able to stop mourning and I feel like the deep sadness in my heart will never go away." I promise you, Catherine, that one day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Princess and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill with the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Princess share. Until this time comes for you, though, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Catherine, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Princess' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
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