Hi All, I'm new here and praying that this might help me. I lost my darling girl two days ago. She was diagnosed with lymphoma in January, and we did chemo, she did so well, was looking as good as before the diagnosis, then started to go downhill so quickly. I had spoken with my parents about knowing when it would be time, but it was still the hardest decision I've ever had to make. It was just her and me in my house, and now I feel so alone. I got her from the RSPCA when she was ten weeks old, and she was just about to turn 11. I don't know how to be ok.

Hi, briggsy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Poppy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Briggsy, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time, for you are now on a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months -- for you are on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

I do understand from first hand experience how difficult it is to have to make a decision to ease our companion's transition home to the angels. It is not an easy decision to make by any stretch of the imagination regardless of the circumstances - - but it is made from the deepest love we have in our hearts that puts the needs of our companion ahead of our own - - especially at a time when our hearts are breaking from the deepest sorrow we will know and endure. However, "knowing" this does not ease the sorrow and extremely difficult adjustment that is now before you as you begin the difficult task of "re-inventing" your daily routines that now no longer include the physical presence of your beloved Poppy.

The only way to eventually be "okay" is to allow yourself the opportunities you need to grieve for your beloved Poppy. Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief adjustment journey for a beloved comppanion is the same as for a human family member or friend. Unfortunately, our society in general, and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us emotionally and physically, do not. I hope and pray that your family and friends will be supportive of you through your grief journey. And please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

It is vitally important that you allow yourself the opportunities you need to openly grieve for your beloved Poppy, even if you must find a place of isolation away from other people. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally wash the toxins out of our bodies that build up from the stress of grieving. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will make their sorrow less painful. Clinical studies prove that this is not healthy, for the stress of suppressed grief can cause medical complications that will eventually need to be addressed - - and sometimes in emergency medical situations. So, go ahead and cry for as long and as frequently as you need to, briggsy. I promise you there will come a day when you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Poppy and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will feel the warmth of your and your beloved Poppy's love once again. But until this time comes for you, please know that what you are going through is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - but still very normal.

And please know that all through this sorrow there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Poppy share. Love is eternal, briggsy - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. So although your beloved Poppy is no longer physically with you, her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Poppy with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, briggsy, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's been 10 days since I lost Poppy, and I have ok days and very bad days. Today is one of the hardest days since she left me. I just can't see what I'm supposed to do without her. I bought the place I'm in because of her, it has the right size backyard and is close enough to long walks, and now I just feel like I have no reason to be here without her. She was everything to me, and I really feel like I have to learn how to live all over again. How on earth am I supposed to do that?

Hi, briggsy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of your beloved Poppy. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief.

You ask a universal question: "I really feel like I have to learn how to live all over again. How on earth am I supposed to do that?" Indeed, this grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Poppy which intensely involves "re-inventing" your life that no longer includes the daily routines you and your beloved Poppy shared during her earthly journey. It is indeed a very painful adjustment which can only be made one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time.

Right now it is vitally important that you do not try to focus on "what am I going to do". Rather right now you need to focus on what you need to do AT THIS MOMENT to make it through to the next moment and all the moments that follow. I know all too well from first hand experience what you are going through when you share with us: "I bought the place I'm in because of her . . ." I, too, bought the house I am currently living in for the safety and pleasure of my beloved companions. At one time I had four companions with me, and within 4 years three of them preceded me and their housemate Noah to the angels. My precious Noah is 11 years old now, and I know our earthly journey is becoming more limited. I often think to myself the same comment about my situation when Noah is no longer physically with me that you share with us now: " . . . now I just feel like I have no reason to be here without her."

Please know this comes from the very deep grief that is in your heart right now, briggsy. As I tell myself, so I share with you: Poppy led you the place you are in now - - not only for the earthly time you shared with her, but also for a future - - whatever that may be. When I first moved here 19 years ago I had two very senior citizen companions with me. Within two years of moving here they preceded me to the angels, and I found myself wondering if I should sell the property because it was very painful living here without them. But within 8 months a new companion joined me which this home was the PERFECT place for him, and then 2 years later another companion joined our household, and 3 years later two more companions entered our lives. This has been THE PERFECT PLACE for each of my beloved companions, and continues to be for my precious Noah and me. What happens when my precious Noah is no longer physically with me will be decided at the appropriate time. It is important that you do not make any life changing decisions while you are grieving the physical loss of your beloved Poppy unless they are for your safety.

Once again, briggsy, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief, and I promise you it will not always be this way. For now, though, you need to focus on doing what needs to be done at the momet and trying to keep stress levels as low as possible.

I hope today is treating you kindly, briggsy, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Poppy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm so very sorry about your loss. I just lost my MacKenzie, my sweet, beautiful angel, on the 11th of this month. I empathize completely. I found this wonderful community after the passing of my angel. I struggled and continue to struggle mightily; I had to find a way to go on quickly as so many more need me at home. I found comfort here. You will, too, for as long as you need it. Like-minded people. All understand. You are in great company. There is hope and promise after the pain.

I hope for a peaceful journey of healing for you. Allow yourself to grieve, whatever works for you, for however long. That is the last honor we bestow on our dear departed. Through our grief, we show how very much we loved them, how much we cared.

Surround yourself with love and light whenever possible. It's there for you for as long as you need it.

You will be OK.

xo