Hello everyone, It will soon be 1 year since I lost my Nickee kitty and we had been together for 18 years. I lost my 17 y/o, Callie, April 15th and feel like I have lost my family. Nickee and I had a special bond. He was my best friend. He was always there for me and now he isn't and it still hurts so badly. He trusted me. It was so beautiful to have him here. I, fortunately, still have Silver kitty, but am concerned about him because of my depression over my losses.....I am doing my best, but pray that Silver doesn't suffer because of my suffering. The loss of Callie was and still is heart-wrenching also. I just can't believe that I have to make a new life without them and it kills me and I live in fear. When I looked at their faces, I felt HOME.....that is gone and I am trying to recreate it with Silver, but he's just not the same. Silver found me 2 years ago; Thank God....I don't know what I would do without him. Though, I am concerned about his health. He is a long-haired beauty and whenever he comes in from outside he has to go downstairs to cool down. I think he is part ragdoll. I am afraid he may have heart issues and plan on taking him to the vet Monday to get him checked out. I love him, no doubt, but he is just not Nickee or Callie and I feel guilty because the feelings are not the same. I hope I am making sense and telling my story properly....I just feel so lost without my long-term family. Please don't get me wrong. I love Silver too...it's just so new....not the ole familiar I had with Nick and Callie. I am temporarily living with my sister who doesn't 'get it' and who basically ignores her own cats, who are coming to me for love and attention and I am afraid to get attached because i pray i can move out around September....They also still hiss and swipe at Silver (the poor kid)....I hate that my sister doesn't reprimand or try to teach them to treat Silver better. It's all a mess. I miss my babies so much! And I need to love Silver like I loved Nickee and Callie..... Besides all that, living with my sister is pure hell. She basically ignores me and doesn't notice Silver's affliction......I don't like to leave him alone with her for very long. I can't wait to move so that Silver and I can connect more and so that I can get him a pal.....he misses Nickee and Callie too. Sooooo sad. Just so sad. Thanks for listening. Kay

Hi, SilNickCal, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical losses of your beloved Callie and Nickee. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a short period of time intensifies the grief.

SNC, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month - - or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, because you are on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Although clinical professionals recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, sadly our society in general, and sometimes the people who are closest to us emotionally and geographically, do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts with others who truly DO understand what we are going through. Please know we are here for you, SNC, for as long and as often as you need us.

Even though your beloved Callie and Nickee are no longer physically with you, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Callie and Nickee share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Callie's and Nickee's sweet Living Spirits continue to share your earthly journey as they always have and always will - - for they are always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I am so sorry your sister is not offering you any comfort during this time of great sorrow for you. I support you in your efforts to find a place where you and your precious Silver can live in peace so that you can truly begin to form a "new family" for you and your precious Silver.

SNC, I do know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Callie and Nickee with us, SNC, and the wonderful pictures. Please know you and your precious Silver are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam Hugs to you!

I went and picked up Callie's (my 17 yo kitty who passed April 15th) ashes today and have gone into another depression. I miss her so much. I want to smell her, touch her, feel her, have her touch my arm as we lay in bed,

This also brings up my missing and sadness about Nickee (my 18 yo kitty who passed June 20, 2013).....I know they are in a better place and their time here on earth is done, but they are in my heart so deeply. I felt HOME when I looked in their sweet faces....

I miss HOME.

Hi, SilNickCal, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, getting our beloved companion's remains is a two sided coin - - on the one side it can be comforting to have them back home where they belong yet the other side is yet another blatant harsh reminder they are no longer with us in the physical form our hearts and arms long for.

Grieving also triggers emotions of other losses we have experienced in our lives which can intensify the grief emotions for the current loss. So please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "This also brings up my missing and sadness about Nickee (my 18 yo kitty who passed June 20, 2013).....I know they are in a better place and their time here on earth is done, but they are in my heart so deeply. I felt HOME when I looked in their sweet faces.... I miss HOME." Truly, when a loved one - - whoever the life form - - is no longer physically with us NOTHING feels the same, NOTHING is "familiar" - - because everything IS changed in our physical life. You are now on a journey of re-inventing your daily routines, re-inventing your life and it is an incredibly painful journey emotionally and physically.

But I assure you, SilNickCal, the deep sorrow you are experiencing now will not always be this intense. I promise you one day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Callie and Nickee and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will once again feel the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Callie and Nickee share. But until this time comes for you, SilNickCal, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Silver kindly, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Callie's and Nickee's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I can relate to all what you have said Kay. I am so sorry about your kits. I can relate to what you said about your bond with Nickee, i too share this with Mozart. He wont be always here anymore, and it surpasses any hurt that i have experienced. I am concerned about how i will relate with Oscar and Barnaby. They are sad about Mozart too but I know that they have each other, and my sister is strongky connected with Ozzie that Barnie will also hang out with them, so I have nobody. It may be different when I return home in a month, i hope i can forge a bond but i dont think it will be as deep as mine with Mozart but it doesnt mean that i love Ozzie or Barnie any less. So i can relate to how you feel with you and your Silver, i hope that you will be able to forge one as deep and that you feel at home with him too. I am also sorry that your sister is very unsupportive if you. I hope that soon you can make a new place of your own.

Hugs and best wishes to you.

I'm so sorry SilNikCal:(. I really feel for you. Please know we are here for you. A shoulder to cry on. I am crying with you as we speak.