The thought that my mind keeps circling around is that everything worthwhile is now gone so what’s the point. She's gone and this is never going to not be.

TOS, I know exactly how you feel. I had similar thoughts when my boy Rocky passed as he is the (non-human) person I was connected to most in this life. But your girl would not want you to give in to those thoughts. Whilst she's never going to be physically with you again, and the pain is probably never really going to go away, I believe time will give you the tools to deal with it. Talk about her, about what happened, share more pictures and find ways to help yourself cope. I still write to Rocky every night as well as light candles for him near his photo frame. I place my hand on his urn before bed and send my love to him. Whilst these things won't bring him back they help me feel connected to him.

Was your girl part shephard? She is beautiful, looks like a wise old soul.

Hi TOS.

So sorry for your loss.

I know exactly how you feel. It is really hard. I'm missing my angels so much today. Some how though we get through it. There are tough days and then there are days that are bearable. But unfortunately time stops for no one. I have wished so many times that I could be with my babies. But I have more little ones here that need me. I've always had dogs and probably always will. As much as it hurts each time they have to leave, I could not ever imagine not having at least one here with me. There are so many out there that are looking for homes and lots of love.

All you can do is take it one day at a time and talk about it here or with whomever will listen. This is a really great website. I've spent a lot of time here. I talk to my angels every night before I fall asleep. May sound crazy or weird, but I don't care. I've been doing this for 30 years ever since I lost my first little angel Mitzy.

Please take care and know that we are all thinking of you.

Lynette.

Hi, TOS, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved companion. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

TOS, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - with the reassurance you are not alone - - for you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

TOS, as painful as this grief adjustment journey, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved companion share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, TOS - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

TOS, I do know so well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will somehow offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved companion with us, TOS. She is so pretty, and it is obvious from the expression on her face and in her eyes that she knows she is eternally loved. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, TOS, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you, Rockyboy, Lynette, and moon_beam. I do appreciate your thoughts and sympathy. And yes, she was part german shepherd, Rockyboy - I think she's beautiful too. (But she was a homely puppy, honest.)

Numa died Friday, May 30th. She was 15 years old and my constant companion.

Since then, I've been collecting all the photographs and videos I have of her, and writing down memories.

Numa had a full, long, loving, and happy life – short of immortality for her, I couldn't ask for anything more. I wish that made it easier to lose her. I guess this is as easy as it gets. And it's more than I can stand.

I can tell that your losses are as painful to you as this one is to me, and it's so generous of you all to comfort and worry about others. It reminds me of that bumper sticker, "My goal in life is to be the person my dog thinks I am." I hope someday I can care about being a good person, or care about anything really. I just can't right now. I read through all of the painful stories here and cry for them and cry for me.

Thank you again.

What a lucky girl Numa was- most german shephards aren't blessed with lives that long. My rocky was a German Shephard and passed a month after his 13th birthday. I thought things would be a bit easier to deal with knowing he had a semi-long life but like you said, it doesn't make the loss any less profound. I will be sending my love Numa's way.

Hi, TOS, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please believe when I share with you that I do know how you are feeling in your deep sorrow. It doesn't matter how long we are blessed with the privilege of our beloved companion's physical company, for we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, - - one more lifetime with them.

The good news is that we have the hope of being reunited with them at our appropriate time in heaven's perfect garden. And when this time comes, there will only be eternal joy. But for now, each of us are given the task of continuing our earthly journey in a way that will honor our beloved companion's earthly journey with us. We are honored you have chosen to share your beloved Numa with us, TOS.

I hope today is treating you kindly, TOS, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Numa's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh TOS,

My eyes are filled with tears for you on the home-going of your precious Numa. She is such a beautiful dog and her eyes shine right into eternity. When our special animals come from above, they search the world over to find the person they want to give their heart to. Numa's beloved is you - is and always will be. When she fpimd you, you two recognized each other instantly and fell in love deeply. I believe we actually exchange pieces of our hearts with our special spirit animals. While we are together on this earth, we arehappy because our "heart holders" are only a touch away. But whoever created the world make our babies' animals' lives shorter than ours - and that means we, the humans, are assigned the terrible heartache of choosing to part with them rather tham have them hurt and suffer. This is the supreme act of love and our spirit animal loves us even more for us having slashed our own hearts out of love for them.

When they leave this earth, they go back to where they came from - the Perfect World. But they take a piece of our hearts and leave a part of their hearts with us. It's that littlle misfit of heart pieces that keeps on reminding us how much we love them and how much it hurts not to have them with us physically. But it is also a promise that one day we, too, will go to the Perfect World. We will be with them again and we will spend our first days in this Perfect World telling each other the care we took of their heart piece. Tears will flow but they will be tears of love/ These tears will be the anodyne that will cause all of our pain and loneliness to pass into the sea of forgetfulnesss and we will be perfectly happy - with each other, and with all the other beloved people and animals who shared this special spirit-animal bond. All under the love of the Good Shepherd who made this all possible.

So cry whenever and however much you need to. I still weep over my Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, who went home almost five years ago now, and my Rufus, a beautiful balck lab/Newfie whose strong back and goofy antics filled many a day with laughter but who went home two years ago during a horrible period in my life. I felt so abandoned but I call on my fur-babies and their cousins whenever I need strength and bravery or a strong back to get up and do what has to be done (Rufus) or when I just need to be gentle and kind (Gretta) - even when I definitely don't feel like it. They help me a lot and I know Numa will do the same for you. Sometimes you may feel her presence, sometimes not. But she is always right by your side as always - guiding your steps, protecting you from hurt, harm and danger and - most important - loving and being loved by you.

One day you will walk through the gate of the Perfect World and Numa will be the first one bounding over to meet you, shouting "She's here! My mom is here!" Until then, please ccall on her and on us, your friends at Lightning Strike. We're always here, we get it, and we care,

Gretta abd Rufus's mom