Mission, my beautiful tuxedo cat came into my life on a mission in 2000 and left my life also on a mission. I will always believe this. (His pic is my avatar - more pics to follow, but this will be too long of a commentary to include them all here on this posting.)

In Aug. 2000 I had recently lost my 21 year cat and was grief-striken beyond words. Mission appeared in my yard one day during this time - a stray off some nearby farm sickly and full of parasites. I took him in and nursed him back to health and he became my special buddy from there on.

He needed my help and I needed distraction and comfort and so we bonded together. I took him in, nursed him back to health and he helped ease my pain and grief over the loss of my other cat. There was always something special and mystical about how he came wandering around right at that time when I had lost her.

And, so...I felt he had been sent on a mission. And, hence...his name.

Over the years, I collected a number of other strays/ferals and brought them into my home and cared for them (I have 9 others.) But, none were ever so special...as Mission.

I had a feeling, though, early on that I wouldn't have Mission anywhere near as long as I had my other cat of 21 years. Because, right off the bat, I think he lost a few of his 9-lives.

One episode was a fall he took off the steep steps/balcony of my apt. I was trying to dose him with his antibiotic for the upper respiratory infection he had and he backed away and right off the landing. It was dark and I heard a loud "plop" as he fell - then silence. I softly called kitty...kitty?? Are you OK. and the next minute up he came trotting up the stairs to me as if nothing had ever happened.

The next life lost was one day when I left a plastic shopping bag on the kitchen counter that was full of cat toys and catnip. I left for a short while and upon returning he was in the bag. I yelled "get down, Mission" but as he jumped off the counter, the handle section of the bag got wrapped around him and when he took off running it ballooned out behind him and making that rustling noise. He literally FREAKED and began running and bouncing off the walls and windows. I then freaked seeing him do this and couldn't catch him until I was finally able to block his access through a doorway, and clamped down on him to stop his terrified flight. As I caught him, the poor guy peed in fright all over the floor...

After that, the events were a bit tamer though he did get outside and lost once at my new house. But, the years afterwards went by pretty calmly.

In 2004, I had received a Cat Fancy calendar as a gift and they had an entry form to enter your cat to be in the next year's calendar. I entered a lovely pic of Mission propped up in a funny pose in my window. Months later I received notice in the mail and a Cat Fancy calendar for 2005 and THERE is was....he made it into the calendar! I was so surprised, delighted and extremely proud of Mission. I called him my "Celebrity Cat" and even got the local newpaper to do up a story on him that was printed.

Around 2010 Mission began showing signs of trouble with his health. He started acting lethargic, had a poor appetite and began losing weight. For the next several years we battled with his health...slowly, at first some improvement, then he'd worsen. No holes barred, I spent thousands of dollars on him taking him to a specialty vet hospital with internists working on him. He had endoscopies, countless bloodwork, x-rays, ultra-sounds, etc. He was diagnosed with severe Inflammatory Bowel Disease (but possibly progressing to Lymphoma.)

This poor cat had countless pills to have to take and other liquid meds. We tried dietary changes/control which didn't ever seem to help. He was on steriods, chemo, anti-nausea meds and appetite stimulants...more and more towards the end. He was such a good and patient little trooper throughout this entire ordeal. What an amazing boy - and the EASIEST cat to pill. So, he really helped himself by being sooo very cooperative. For a while, the chemo seemed to hold him status quo.

But, then in January this year, I again started to notice a decline in his condition and more weight loss. We tried changing up some meds and then I took him back in again for more diagnostics. The news was grim - he now had liver involvement, severe pancreatic insufficiency and a heart murmur. There was some possibly sternal lymph node enlargement, as well. I knew I was losing him. But, I did all I could after this news to keep him going and tried feeding him whatever he'd eat...whatever he liked. I spoiled him with fresh cooked salman and ground beef, treats and catnip, etc.

Mission then seemed to actually start to rally and perk up and feel better. I was encouraged. His weight seemed to be holding for the time being. The weather started to warm up and improve and so I took him outside one day on a leash & harness to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. He enjoyed himself, but I thought then, that it might be his last time outside. Yet, he continued doing well the next few weeks.

On Sunday, the 9th of March Mission seemed to be going to the litter pan constantly and so I though - uh oh, UTI brewing. I watched carefully and he seemed a bit better later in the day. But, something told me on Monday morning when I woke up that I needed to stay home and keep an eye on him. I also made an appt. to bring him in to the vets to check on possible UTI on Thursday. But, he seemed to be doing better still that day. I spent the entire day around the house and checking on him, coaxing him to eat, and mind you, I had to give him appetite stimulants pretty frequently during the past few months to keep him eating and interested in his food.

During the afternoon it warmed up into the 60's - and was gorgeous. I decided to take him out again on a leash/harness to let him enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. And, BOY...it was like he was a young healthy cat again. The life sprang back into him and he was THRILLED. He rolled around on the sidewalk, nibbled a blade of grass, sniffed & strolled around, scratched his claws on the railroad tie surrounding the driveway. We spent a good 1/2 hour out, at least, and when I brought him back inside he ran back to the door begging to go out again - I'm thinking SPOILED you! I propped him up in a few open windows after that and he stayed awhile and then would jump down again. I put him back up finally in the bedroom thinking - wow, he sure had a good day today.

That evening after dinner, I fell asleep on the sofa and then went on up to bed late. As I entered the room I noticed him on the bed laying in an awkward position with an anxious expression. At first, I didn't think too much of it and, silly me, decided to give him his dose of Carafate (coats the stomach) since he was laying there. But, he didn't move much when I gave him the dose and continued with the anxious look. So, I picked him up and set him on the floor... that's when I saw it.

Mission was crippled on his right front and right hind legs and could not walk/hold himself up. He had had a CVA (stroke or clot.) I remember feeling at the time this calm sense of reality and finality - that "oh no, this was it, my baby - your time has come." This event made the decision pretty clear-cut.

Through the rest of the night I curled up with my Mission in bed, holding him close and kept telling him that it was alright to go and that I'd be OK and that we'd see each other again at the Bridge one day. I didn't cry and was very calm and reassuring to him throughout the night and he seemed reasonably comfortable. He struggled once in an effort to get up, but simply couldn't. I realized he likely needed to potty. So, I took him to the litter pan and, bless his sweet heart, he relieved himself for me as I supported him and held him upright - otherwise he would have been face down in the pan unable to stand. I set him down by his food and water bowls and he sniffed at them but seemed confused and just looked back and forth at them and just lay there.

I took him back to bed and I snuggled with him again for the remainder of the night talking to him. Got little to no sleep as I knew what faced me in the morning. I called the vet and she gave me a little more time to spend with him that morning, Tuesday, the 11th. I layed down on the floor with him on his cushion and continued talking to him and reassuring him and asking him to let me know when he got to the Bridge and made it safely over.

At one point Mission looked up and out the window at the cypress trees blowing in the warm wind and then his gaze shifted up to the sky. I asked him if he saw "the light" or saw the bridge and if he was ready to go....shortly after that, the vet arrived and I saw the process through to the end.

I lost my beloved Mission my earth angel on Tuesday, March 11th. I was never sure exactly how old he was, but think somewhere between 14 - 15. I have been suffering severe grief and am devastated over losing him.

I now realize those last few weeks of his life and that last day truly were his last "hurrah". People have told me that both people and animals dying sometimes have this last little "spurt" of energy right before they go. And, I believe now this is likely what was happening. But, it "teased" me into believing that he was doing better and I might have him around for a while longer.

Since then, although I know he had a wonderful last day (and last few weeks) on earth...and I feel happy about the fact that I was able to give that to him, and I did my very best to help him with his disease, I am STILL devastated over his loss. He was my earth angel and was simply put... an "old soul". He was just the sweetest most patient and adoring cat you could ever ask for. I miss him terribly. I've tried doing all the right things to get through the grieving. But, I still bawl my eyes out every day.

I have a memorial set up in the room with his pictures, flowers, etc. I carry a small bit of his fur and a picture in a locket now around my neck. I knew I had to do these things in his memory. As for me, there will just NEVER EVER be another cat in my life like him.

And so it goes. Mission came into my life on a special mission and left my life in just the same way - his bittersweet departure was for a reason, as he is on his next mission with the Angels.....LOVE YOU FOREVER IN ETERNITY....My Mission, my celebrity cat...my butterfly boy (for his butterfly shaped mustache.)

Mission's Mom...

Hi, OnAMission, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Mission. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

OnAMission, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time. But please let me reassure you it is a journey you do not travel alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

As I read through your and your beloved Mission's earthly journey together your deep sorrow is palpable, and I can sooo feel the sadness in your heart. One of the many reasons why this grief adjustment journey is so very painful is because we live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Every time our companions touch / rub against us, lick / kiss us they are literally chemically imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us from all the other millions of people on this planet. When they precede us to the angels we literally experience a physical, as well as emotional, withdrawal from their chemical imprint and physical presence in our lives, and it is a very painful adjustment.

This grief adjustment journey is one of many twists and turns, ups and downs, and turnarounds. During the deep grief you may find yourself feeling very emotionally vulnerable, and feeling like your world has lost its meaning. Even though you still have other precious companions in your home, there is still this HUGE void because of the physical absence of your beloved Mission. Please let me try to reassure you that all of this, and more, is very normal deep grief.

I promise you, OnAMission, that it will not always be this way. One day - - very probably when you least expect it - - you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Mission, and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill with the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Mission share. I hope it is comfort to you that your beloved Mission's sweet Living Spirit is always with you in your heart and memories - - for the love bond you and your beloved Mission share is eternal. Nothing in heaven or on earth can ever change this or diminish it. Your beloved Mission is always and forever a heatbeat close to you.

I do so know from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Mission with us. From the picture on your avatar he is a very handsome kitty, and I look forward to sharing other pictures of him with you - - whenever you feel up to sharing them with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, OnAMission, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi OnAMission. Thanks you SO much for sharing the story of your special man Mission.

I can't think of a thing more eloquent than what moon_beam has written here. While it's nice that you were able to give him a last few really good weeks and were there for him when his time came, it hardly makes up for the loss I'm sure you are feeling, for we have all felt it. All I can tell you is take it one day at a time - baby steps as it were. As time passes, you will start to remember the good times with fondness. I hope you will share more of Mission's journey with you, his loving forever mom when you are ready. Take care.

Thank you so very, very much MoonBeam and Tom's Dad...

Yes, and I agree with Tom's Dad that MoonBeam - your words of support in this time of grief were so eloquently put....they were beautiful and inspiring, and so greatly appreciated.

Thank you both so kindly for your attention in reading Mission's and my story and your support. I feel like I could make this a short story to add to some animal book, in some ways. But, in other ways I think..well, this was just me and my time with Mission, so why exploit it any further.

It's enough for me right now, and VERY hard to just write out his story...the story of how we came together and bonded and then how I lost him. There are just no words to describe my feelings of loss...as you say, that void of the physical presence.

Again...it is so VERY hard for me to go into my bedroom any more because that was his "kingdom". When I do, I find myself talking to him...saying hello and I love you and miss you my baby and then visiting the little memorial area I have set up in a corner of the room on the vanity where he sometimes slept.

I know time will pass on and will help to heal my broken heart. But, time will never take away the treasured memories of his special being....

Peace to you both....

Mission's Mom...OnAMission....

Mission’s mom,

Mission….I love how you named him, so apt for what he did for you. And what a handsome guy he was!!

And OMG!! The bag story—my Molly did the EXACT same thing, only she had been down in the basement and came tearing up the stairs with her head through the handle on the plastic bag, it filled up with air as she ran and it was bobbing on her back!! She was totally freaked out, I’m sure thinking that something was on her, attaching her. TOOOO weird that our kids had the exact same thing happen! Just too weird!

And what a proud mom you were when he achieved “celebrity” status!! Lol…cute story. And even made it into the local newspaper, no less!

And then, as I read on, the decline. Your caring for him. The tears start, and they just keep coming. You were such a good, GOOD mom to him…he was SO lucky to have you. But oh, oh sooo sad, I just cried and cried. I know your loss, I understand and feel the pain. It’s emptiness like no other! It just hurts like a red-hot iron, doesn’t it? It's like you just want to ask: what can I do to lessen this deep, deep pain....

Thank you for writing your story…it’s sweet, funny, and painful all at once. Hugs to you!! - Molly's mom (snapdragon)

Thanks so very, very, much Snapdragon. I'm crying AND laughing right now, believe it or not. I just thought...WOW...how UNcanny that both our cats had that same "bag" experience and we also lost them on the same day...now THAT is incredible, IMO...

Now I'm more convinced than ever that both Mission and Molly Rose have met and maybe even collaborated... ;-) I feel guilty admitting this, but that story about Molly and the bag just made me laugh....Because, I know, at the time when it happened with Mission, I was laughing at him, AT first, but then when he started actually throwing himself into the walls and windows in my apt...THEN, I knew he had "lost it" and it wasn't so funny and I started to panic!

Oh MY...we seem to have so many parallels.....it's bizarre!

Hi OnAMission,
Your words about your sweet kitty just brought me to tears, what a truly beautiful story of how he came into your life, and how you gave him his wonderful name. That was interesting how you had felt that he had lost some of his nine lives, as I had thought the same about my boy. Although Jasper was an indoor only cat, one time when I had moved in with friends for a short time before moving into the home I am at now, he had access to a doggie door, and he actually got out and was missing for three whole days. Oh my gosh, how worried and frantic I was. I visited and called all of the shelters, put up flyers, and I even left one of my shirts hanging on the fencepost, as I had heard this was a good thing to do for missing pets, as they would be able to get your scent, and find their way back to you. Well on the third sleepless night, after so much waiting and worrying, I finally was able to fall into a fitful sleep, well let me just tell you that I woke up to the sweetest sound I have ever heard in my life, my boy had come back through the doggie door at 2am in the morning, and he was on the bed looking right at me, meowing like crazy, he was so happy to be home, and he sure was hungry. I had been so scared that I was never going to see him again, and then there he was, wow talk about tears of thankfulness, it was the most wonderful moment of my life, my heart was just bursting with joy, my Jasper was safe and he was home. Never ever did I think that just months later I would lose him again, but this time he would not be coming home.

That is wonderful that your Mission's picture is in the Cat Fancy calendar, yes he was quite the celebrity for sure, how very proud you must have been of your butterfly boy, and by the way, I love that great nickname you gave him. My Jasper was so beautiful, I always told everyone that he should have been on the purina cat chow commercials, he was just so handsome and vibrant, and so full of life. Like you with your Mission, on his last day, I watched as my Jasper tried to crawl into his litter box, but he did not have the strength to get over the side, so I helped lift him in and then out, as very sick and weak as he was, he was still trying to make it to his box, and I know you can understand when I say that it just broke my heart.

That is so sweet that you have a memorial set up with pictures and flowers to remember Mission, and I am going to do the same with Jasper very soon. I have actually been able to look at his picture now without too many tears, and I do want to post it here soon, I am so proud of my handsome boy, but it just seemed that everytime if I so much as even glanced at his picture, I would just completely break down. That is such a wonderful idea of wearing a locket with their picture and fur in it, always close to our hearts, and I am going to start looking for one, I just want to do anything I can to keep him as close to me as possible. Like your Mission did, my Jasper left such a mark on my heart and my soul, and I know that he will never fade from my life or my memory, he will always be right here with me, in every way that counts.

Well OnAMission, I just wanted to let you know how very much your story touched my heart, your love for your boy is just so evident in your words and your writings about him, and I so understand how you feel, as I feel the same way about my sweet kitty. Your Mission was a very lucky boy to have someone who loved him so very much, and I know what you must be thinking right about now, that you were the lucky one to have had him come into your life like he did. Yes he was on a mission, he came into your life when you needed him the most, and he needed you just as much. I cannot help but feel that whatever is meant to be will always find a way, he was meant to show up at your doorstep that day, you were meant to take him him in and completely fall in love with him. Just like when I first saw my Jasper, I took him into my arms, and he just kind of melted right into me, cause he knew he was home, just like your Mission knew when he found you that day, he knew he was safe, and he knew he was home. That wonderful and unconditional love is like that, it just happens so suddenly and without any warning, and once they look up at us with those sweet and trusting eyes, there's no going back, and when we look back at them, we know we are home.

WOW...Jaspersmom...I was so enthralled with what you wrote in response to Mission's story....OH my...I so hope you can find the strength to post some photos of your beloved Jasper. I would love to see them. We mourn them deeply, but at the same time, we need to find the strength to celebrate them..their precious lives and what love they brought to our lives.

I thank you sooooo very much for your wonderful response to my Mission's story.

I don't think I can ever recall having such excrutiating pain in feeling this kind of loss - other than Heathcliff (she was the 21 -year old cat I referenced who was dying when Mission came along.) I had Heathcliff for 19 years and hers is yet another wonderful and special story. We went everywhere together and she was the most adaptable cat I've even known!

Heathcliff was buried on a friend's horse farm along with her favorite toys. I buried her all curled up in a beautiful handmade basket wrapped in her favorite blanket with a collar and then I sprinkled catnip all over her as a final blessing.... But, I never thought to save any part of her...which has bothered me to this day. I did go out and make NUMEROUS, mind you, copies of her pics and framed these and posted them ALL over my house. And now, I found I had to do the same for Mission.

You mentioned how hard it was to look at your Jaspers pictures, and I can totally understand your thinking here. It is soooooo very hard. For me, I just missed seeing both of them and having their presence. So, for me, it worked to post pictures of them around the house to help me through the grieving process. But, I can totally understand how this would not work for others...we are all soooo different in how we grieve and how we try to bring some sense of resolution to such a shocking and jolting direct hit to the heart. My heart has been shattered in a million pieces and I know yours has been, too. I soooo very much feel your pain and grief....what you are going through.

I'm having less tears now,...they are subsiding and giving way to just numbness and sadness. But, I continue striving to do things in honor and in memory of him. I bought a little miniature cypress tree last weekend at a local garden center and made a little "fantasy garden" with it using ideas and mini figurines they had on display. It is meaningful to me because right before the vet came and I saww Mission look up and gaze with such a peaceful and serenelexpression out the window at my Leland cypress trees gently blowing in the wind....and then looking up to the sky, I truly felt he had seen the Bridge where he would soon be crossing over to. So, my little fantasy garden is a replication of that scene with the cypress tree, a bench with a little "cushion" and a miniature tuxedo kitty sitting on it. There is a gazing ball nearby....it is very small, but it's beautiful and sits amongst my other mementos...his pictures, urn, clay paw print, photo album and...of course, the Cat Fancy calendar....

I haven't been able to find your story of your beloved Jasper...I want to hear your and his story...when you feel up to it...please share as I want to be there for you and for Jasper....

Kitty purrs and kisses..

Missions Mom

OnAMission,
Thank you so very much for your very kind and thoughtful words. What your wrote was so very true, that although we may mourn our dear pets so deeply, that we must also find the strength to celebrate them and all that they brought to our lives and our world. I have been going through all of my pictures of my Jasper, with just a few tears, but even more smiles now, remembering and cherishing the sweetness and love he left behind. I even posted one here as my avatar, so everyone could see him, and I will post more very soon. I am so proud of my oh so handsome kitty, he was such a big boy, a brown and white tabby with the most beautiful emerald green eyes I have ever seen.

What a wonderful idea you had to buy a miniature cypress tree and make a little fantasy garden, since your Mission had looked up at your cypress trees blowing in the wind, right before the vet came. I think you are so right that he was gazing up at the sky, seeing that beautiful rainbow he was getting ready to cross over to, and it sounds as though he was so peaceful and serene. That is just such a sweet and special memorial you have made for your kitty, with a bench, a cushion, and a little tuxedo cat figurine sitting on it, and all of your mementos of your boy surrounding that, what a wonderful way to honor and embrace all that Mission gave to you. I can just see him looking down upon you and beaming with pride and happiness at knowing how very much he meant to you, and to know how very much he was loved. I am hoping to make a memorial for my sweet boy very soon, I now want to have his pictures all around me, I want everything that is and was him as close to me as possible. Your words did help me to see that I really did need to look at his pictures, to begin to heal, to honor his memory, and to celebrate his precious life, and all of the joy that he brought into my life.


That is good to know that your tears are subsiding now, and I do understand about the numbness and sadness, it is always there for me also. I don't cry nearly as much as I did at the beginning, those first days were like nothing I have ever felt before, and that I never want to feel again, and only one who has been through this can truly understand. I suppose that time is the great healer, with each day that passes, I feel just a bit stronger and am able to face each day with hope for the future now, taking it one day at a time, not where I want to be quite yet, but so far from where I was before. I am going to share Jasper's story here soon, how he came into my life, and how he found his way right into my heart, as I am sure you know, it doesn't take long for that to happen. I can imagine that Mission and Jasper are best buddies by now, running and playing together, climbing on all of those rainbows, and resting under all of those beautiful cypress trees. Yes the sky at the bridge must be alot brighter these days, with our two little rays of sunshine up there, how could it not be ... Hugs.

JaspersMom...WOW...I'm so PROUD of you, and I'm sure Jasper is, too...for posting his pic as your avatar. I'm soo glad to hear you are feeling a little stronger each day and that you can go through some of his pics. But, WHAT a handsome, beautiful boy, he was!! Gorgeous!!! Thank you sooo much for sharing that pic. But, no worries...you take your time, the time you need to grieve until you feel comfortable posting more pics of him and telling his story, OK? Between you and Snapdragon with Molly Rose, I see ALL three of them meeting under that cypress tree, licking their chops at all the little birdies sitting in it . ;-)

And, now... THIS sounds a little bizarre, so hang with me, for a moment? But, here goes...when I purchased the little mini tuxedo cat figurine for the my mini garden, it was in a packet of 3. The other kitties were: an orange and white tabby (Molly?) and a gray and white tabby. (Jasper?) COULD they be Molly Rose and Jasper??? Go figure...but I may have to add them into my garden!? The reason being...I've discovered our cats have had some parallel experiences and the fact that we've connected on this forum.

When you mentioned about your Jasper getting out through a doggie door and getting lost? Well, that is exactly what happened with Mission shortly after I moved to my new place. So, ..there is a parallel there, too. And, I also found there is a parallel with Snapdragon and Molly Rose because she and Mission both got caught up in the handles of a plastic bag and freaked. Now...this is truly getting a bit bizarre!

I've had a few other very unusual, uncanny happenings of late. And, I'm going to start another topic on it here. It has to do with having "visitations". I know you must think I'm totally crazy, Jaspersmom, but you will have to read it.

In the meantime, I'm passing on both human and kitty hugs to you....

Mission's Mom

OnAMission,
Wow this is uncanny, and I meant to write about it in one of my replies to you when I had first read about Mission's similar experience, but a few years back, my Jasper was just investigating everything as he always did, and he was curious about a plastic bag that he had found in my room which was filled almost to the top with change, Well as you have probably guessed, he somehow got the handle of the bag wrapped around his neck, and he totally and completely freaked out, and he frantically went running through the house, with change flying out of the bag everywhere. I was so worried about him, and I finally found him under the bed, and thank goodness he was okay, but he was just so scared that he did not come out from under that bed until the next morning. That is just so interesting to learn that a similar incident also happened to Snapdragon's Molly Rose, and that your Mission went out through a doggie door and was lost just as Jasper was, the parallels are quite surreal.

That is something to hear how your mini cat figurines came with a tuxedo, an orange and white tabby, and a gray and white tabby, and you are so right when you wrote how you, Snapdragon, and I seem to have connected on this forum, coincidence, I don't think so, perhaps everything is falling into place just like it is supposed to. Well let me just say that I am really looking forward to reading your new topic on visitations when you post it, it should be very interesting and relevant for sure. Thank you OnAMission, for your very kind comments about my Jasper, yes he was such a beautiful and handsome boy, and I am so very proud of him. And oh yes, you are so right, I can just picture Molly Rose, Mission, and Jasper meeting under that cypress tree, three peas in a pod, having a grand old time together.

Mission's & Jasper's moms.... just reading your comments. JM I could relate to your sorrow...to the kind of pain that you just never, ever want to go through again. A pain like none other. And, l also seem to be getting through my days without the tears (mostly), but the world still looks all black and white to me...no joy, just going through the motions. I never would have dreamed losing Molly was going to be this hard...same for you, and MM, and many others. Well, we are the wounded helping each other limp along...

The story with the plastic bags, omg....that is strange indeed. Oh, and JM, I wanted to say what a handsome boy your Jasper was!!

I haven't written as much the past couple of days, I think I'm feeling grief weary, just tired. But I am so glad to read your thoughts and comments...sharing your experience. Thank you sooo much!! Hugs to you!!

I did post my topic on Visitations. And, I also tried to upload some photos of the mini cypress tree garden with Mission on the bench. But, it didn't work. I'll try again.

Peace and Blessings to you JaspersMom and Snapdragon!

Hugs!!