Saturday will be week 5 today I can't stop crying. I miss my buddy dodger

I'm so sorry for your loss. It has been two weeks since my cat Tookie's passing, and it seems most of the day I am just managing to get through. I realize this moment when a memory of her strikes me unexpectedly and I realize that her physical form is gone. Perhaps in heaven both Dodger and Tookie have met and are both at peace together.

I hear you. The pain just feels bottomless! There's an emptiness that is just screaming.

Dear Dodger, KatyR and Snapdragon,

I am so sorry that your beloved furbabies have left this earth. It's been a while since I had a baby (family circumstances) but I remember how it was in those first days and weeks after my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) and Rufus (my half black lab/half Newfie) left for the Perfect World. It takes ALL of the courage and strength you have just to "robot" through your day, your job or whatever you HAVE to do. Your brain knows that you cannot endure the suffering so it puts you on "robot". Mixed in with that are bouts of sobbing. After weeks or sometimes months, you can start feeling something else besides Nothing (robot) and unbearable (silence, sobbing). Some people say that the sadness eventually (VERY eventually) changes to happy memories. With all due respect, I don't believe that.

Both my dogs ate and drank at the same feeding station. I left that in place until (to care for a dying sister) I had to move across country. My tiny car couldn't pull anything so odd-shaped item had to fit in its hatchback, I had a meltdown over that dog feeding station. I just couldn't leave it behind. So I didn't! It's here with me and when I look at it I remember the two precious dogs who ate and drank there. I've been here a month and have had only one (private) meltdown here.

I post here a lot - writing to my dogs and other animals (remember Marius the giraffe). It keeps me aware that our animals DO live on, as we will someday, in a Perfect World where we will join them one day, never to be separated again..

Be gentle to yourselves and know that Lightning Strikers care.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Gretta and Rufus's mom,

Your “robot” &%^ogy is good. That’s how I feel. I’m here, going through the motions, but really just feel like a robot. Mostly I feel like I just don’t care about anything. And for me, only time will tell if that sadness lessons and how much. I want to believe it will but, as I say, only time will tell. Right now ALL I can think about is how much I miss Molly!

And you talked about your kids feeding station and how you couldn’t part with it! Wow, as soon as we lost Molly, one of the first things I did was take her small upstairs water dish, and the little “goodie” dish (still with some bonito flakes crumbs in it) and hide them in the back of the bathroom cabinet. I’ve saved them, untouched, from the last time she ate out of them. It breaks my heart…it almost feels like these are sacred items somehow. Does that make sense? There are a few things of hers that just feel sacred and precious to me now that she’s gone. Oh gosh, now here comes that stabbing pain again, thinking of her and the way she used to “demand” her bedtime snack. She was such a good, good girl, I loved her SO much. Anyway….I totally understand what you’re saying about having a meltdown over the feeding station.

Again, thank you for writing and for your support. – Molly’s mom