Six months ago I was hospitalized for a severe depression which left me helpless and not able to look after my two dogs. Otino a 10year old scott terrier,who I had been keeping for 8 years since I got him from an animal shelter in Malta (europe),and Kikka a 7 year old female mixed belgian sheperd.
Because nobody could take care of my dogs whilst I was in hospital
they were put in an animal shelter in Malta.
I had spent nearly 4 months in the mental hospital and regurarly phoned the animal shelter asking about my dogs. The caretaker always told me that they were fine but were missing me.
After leaving the hospital I went to pick up my dogs,and was shocked to learn that Otino died 3 days before of heartache and malnutrition,whilst Kikka was still alive but in a desperate state(skin and bones). Kikka is now healthy and doing well, but I am desperatly in pain because of Otino's cruel death. I miss him terribly and feel helplessly guilty for being hospitalized
whilst my edogs where suffering so much.
Thanks for allowing me to vent my feelings on this website.
Love to all, Pierre.

I cant imagine how that must have hurt you, I'm sure you feel like you let him down. I dont know why these things happen in our lives, i just have to beleive we will be reunited in the end, my hope is that everything we have lost in this life will be restored to us. I feel like i left my dog moose down by not keeping a close eye on him like i always have, your cir%%stances we're beyond your control, and I know the thoughts of his death haunt you. I know there are no magic words to make the pain go away, I just want you to know there is a girl in wa state whom is hurting too.......so very deeply. Pamela.........Moose's Mom

Oh Pierre, I'm so sorry that you lost Otino. What a horrible shock, I can't believe that the shelter didn't let you know before hand. I am glad to hear that Kikka made it through however. At least Otino had Kikka with him..I'm sure that she brought him great comfort.
Try not to blame yourself, you did the best you could for them while you were healing yourself.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss
Kristie

I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you and your "babies." That is really terrible the way they were treated and terrible that you weren't told the truth. It wasn't your fault, of course. I hope you will take good care of yourself and give all your love to Kikka. Please don't blame yourself, Pierre, please. Keep coming here to this site. There are wonderful caring people here to "talk" to and to support you.
Marcia

Pierre,

I am SO sorry for what happened. The pain must be almost unbearable. I am feeling intense anger about what happened at the shelter! Why do so many cruel things happen, and how can certain people be so insensitive?!

Please, PLEASE try not to blame yourself. YOU NEEDED TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL. YOU WERE NOT AN IRRESPONSIBLE DAD TO YOUR DOGS. THE DEPRESSION WAS NOT YOUR FAULT, AND YOU HAD NO OTHER OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM. YOU DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE.

I think being hospitalized for depression might even make a person feel guiltier than being hospitalized for something like a heart condition or some other "bodily" thing, because there's still a mistaken belief in society that says we should be able to "snap out of it" and get on with life, and if we can't, that makes us weak. That belief couldn't be farther from the truth! Depression is life-threatening, possibly more so than other conditions. If you hadn't been in the hospital, you might not be here now to care for sweet Kikka.

Have you read the article on guilt on this site? There's a link to it on the main page. It might lighten this heavy, impossible burden you are carrying.

I believe---with no doubts---that Otino is experiencing only bliss now. He understands that nothing was your fault. He is not aware of time and space (as we are when we live in our physical bodies). I believe his spirit is all around you. You WILL be fully reunited when it's your time.

I believe that for some reason it was Otino's time to pass on, and we won't understand WHY until it is our time. I can only imagine the intensity of all the emotions you are experiencing. My heart is there with you. I am so sorry about your grief.

Please PM or email me if you want to talk more.

Sending you intense prayers and comfort,

Kathy

God, Pierre, don't feel guilty. I know that's so hard to do, but you had to be in the hospital. It's the same as if you'd needed surgery for some physical illness. You trusted that your dogs were being taken care of.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

Steph

I am so sorry that these people let you down and did not take care of your dogs like they said they would. Do not feel guilty for needing to be in the hospital and finding help for yourself. The people who starved your dogs are the ones who did wrong not only to your dogs but to you.
Ann

Pierre, I think we are all so horrified at what happened to you and Otino that we didn't think to say -- this needs to be reported to the Humane Society and to the police. Email me and I will do what I can to help you. I'm sure there are others here who will help also. In the last month or so, we have encountered at least three cases here where "our babies" were murdered and/or abused.

You have been through so much already. Please take care. You aren't alone, okay?
Marcia