Hello everybody and thank you for taking the time to read this! (It's quite a long post)

Let me introduce you to Millie, my beloved 13 year old Jack Russell. I got her for my 17th birthday as a puppy, which makes me 30 (this week)
Millie is one of the sweetest little dogs you'll ever meet, she has such a lovely nature and everybody that meets her say's she isn't like most dogs, she's almost human like. In the 13 years I've had her she has always been by my side, through good times and bad... just her presence alone has a massive impact. So she is a very special dog, as Im sure all your babies are to you all.

I have recently found she has a brain tumour. This was discovered after her first seizure two weeks ago, which was so heartbreaking to witness... I instantly took her to the vets, who ran some blood work to check for diabetes/glucose levels... this came back normal, she then had more blood taken to test for insulin levels to see if there was a growth on her pancreas.
So a week later all was well, and I was praying it could just be a one off... but no, poor Millie had her second seizure, which left her mouth twitching/chewing, which I wasn't happy about leaving, I took her back to vets... she said there wasn't much to do until the results came back, but either way not looking good as it was slowly ruling everything treatable out. When asked about the twitching, she told me it was a normal after affect to the seizure. Not being content with that answer I looked it up and apparently they were in fact petite mal seizures. Well, later that night, Millie had another big seizure, which was so awful, she was practically perpendicular and I had to administer a rectal tube of Valium. She came out of the that and I rushed her back to the vets, who broke the news of the results... they all came back normal which has basically limited the cause coming from the brain, a tumour :'( I am absolutely devastated!
I have been prescribed Prednisolone to take away any inflammation in her brain which I;m hoping will prevent further seizures, although I have read about them having some nasty side effects in themselves.
They said these will just prolong her life for a bit, but it will get progressively worse and then we might want to think about putting her to sleep I have never had to deal with this before, my last dog died naturally in her sleep... and I've never had a dog for this amount of time nor have I had such a strong bond.

I am beside myself, I'm trying not to be upset around Millie as I know they pick up on this.. but it's heartbreaking to see her deteriorate. Since the last big seizure, I have noticed differences in her, such as pacing and doing things slightly out of her character. I know this is going to get worse and I can't bear that... she is my world, I have no children yet and so I see her like my baby in a way. I just want to take all this away from her

I know I still have her at the moment, but I feel a sense of despair, and desperate... I don't know, it's like I'm hoping for somebody to miraculously make it all better and take the pain. I know this isn't possible and am trying to enjoy whatever time is left.

I would love to hear from any of you, whether you have a dog who has suffered from anything similar or just some words of comfort. These are very sad days. I'm not going to work so that I can stay with her, and I don't feel I can leave her in case anything happens whilst I'm not there.

Once again thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to meeting others who know how painful this is!

Hi, Millie, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in this time of great distress in your precious Millie's medical crisis. I do so understand how desperate you are feeling.

I am not a veterinarian or a vet tech, but there are a couple of things I would like to ask you: You did not mention the other tests your vet conducted, so I would like to ask if an MRI or CT Scan, X-ray, or sonogram have been done on your precious Millie yet to absolutely confirm a brain tumor? There are other reasons for seizures, such as epilepsy, that can be controlled with medications while providing your precious Millie with a good quality of life. Also, is there a veterinary neurological specialist you could be referred who could do a more thorough examination - - or provide you a second opinion? This does not mean that you do not trust your regular veterinarian's expertise - - it simply means that a veterinary neurological specialist MIGHT be able to either confirm your veterinarian's diagnosis - - OR provide you with more options for your precious Millie.

I do understand how devastating it is for you to see your precious Millie's health deteriorate, and how helpless you are feeling in not being able to stop it. There is a name for this: it is called Anticipatory Grief, which is a horror roller coaster ride all of its own. The "good days" your precious Millie has your heart will soar, while the "bad days" your heart will sink with sorrow knowing that the time you and your precious Millie have together on this side of eternity is drawing to a close. You don't want to see your precious girl suffering, yet your heart cannot help but hope that a miracle will happen that will heal your precious Millie so that she can continue to be physically with you.

Millie, please know you and your precious Millie are not alone in your journey. Each of us know what you are going through, and we are here for you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Millie kindly. Please know you and your precious Millie are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Moon Beam! Thank you so much for your kind words... It gives me a great sense of comfort to be here and know that I'm not alone in this suffering, although it is horrendous and you do feel somewhat alone in the real world!
So far Millie has only had blood tests, which has ruled out all endocrine problems... which they have told me leaves it only to the brain and the most likely cause is a tumour. So I'm not 100%. They told me that I can do MRI/CT but I'm looking at £7000 which I don't have, but would take a loan out if I knew it would fix my sweetheart. But also even if it does show up on the scans, apparently there is nothing much they can do?
She has changed lately, and acting out of character with the pacing, staring and bit wobbly on her feet, these are supposed to be symptoms of the tumour :'(

I have not found a neurological specialist in my area, but there seems to be a guy working at another vets who has qualified in neurology, so I will take her there for a second opinion... My vets are ok, but I don't see them as animal lovers as such, they have robbed me dry with any little thing they can, although Millie is worth everything, so I don't mean to moan about the money part. Just that they don't seem to care too much.

Anticipatory Grief is exactly how I'd describe it, because I feel like I'm grieving and poor Millie is still here so it's not fair on her really... I would do anything to take this away from her, she is such a sweet soul and does not deserve this

Thank you so much for starting this forum, it's comforting knowing there are other kind animal lovers who can relate and help each other to be stronger and give words of encouragement. God bless.

Hi, Millie, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Millie are doing. Yes, with veterinary medicine now incorporating many of the diagnostic and treatment avenues that for decades were only available in human medicine, the costs of veterinary medicine have significantly increased. And now with veterinary medicine, as is also the case with human medicine, we must weigh the "benefits" versus the "costs" of subjecting our precious companions to the stress of invasive procedures - - taking into consideration their overall medical status and the "complications" that could be associated with the procedures / treatments.

I hope your and your precious Millie's appointment with the neurological vet will offer you more information and options for tests / treatments that can help your precious Millie. Please know you and your precious little girl are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and your precious Millie are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam