My best friend, soul mate and little brother Woodrow passed away yesterday morning March 3. Woodrow was a miniature dachshund who I fell in love with the moment I met him when I was five years old. We grew up together and spent the next 17 years by each others side. We played together as kids and helped each other through the loss of our mother and other dogs. We had a special bond that cannot be explained - I absolutely adored him, and I know he felt the same!

On Monday morning I arrived home at 1am after work to find my housemate sleeping on the floor next to Woodrow's bed. Apparently he had been vomiting all day and was lethargic. I picked him up and he just flopped into my arms and I asked him 'is it time?' He looked up at me and I knew. He had always been in extremely good health, but being 17 years old, I knew his time was coming. I spent the next 5 hours holding him tight, if I left his side for even a minute, he would begin to cry. It was a restless night for him, he got very little sleep but he was not in distress, I knew he was going into kidney failure, and that his body was going to systematically shut itself down. I called my Dad at 6am and told him he needed to come over. We spent two more hours cuddling together, then Woody walked over to his bed, wagged his tail, and flopped down. We took him to the vet who confirmed my suspicion and gave us the option of euthanizing or letting nature take its course. We knew he was in very little pain but I could see all he wanted was to go to sleep. He was tired, his body was tired, and we all decided that it was time to let him rest. He slipped away in my arms after the vet injected the meds.

I have no qualms about the decision. He was ready to go, it was his time and we needed to do this for him. He more than deserved it. I've been through the loss of my companions before: Baxter in 2003 and Holli in 2012, both of whom Woody will be so excited to see again. But this feels different. Its not just him I say goodbye to, its my childhood, its my other lost loved ones. Woody was the link that held it all together. He was there when Baxter, my mother and Holli passed and its as though I'm grieving his physical loss and the loss of someone who loved the same people I did and went through the same experiences as I did. Like I'm re-grieving their losses through him. As I said, we shared a special bond running deeper than love, he was my connection to my Mum and dogs, whom we both loved and lost. Now That's gone.

All I can do now is take comfort that he lived a long amazing life, sneaking into the hearts of so many. He passed peacefully just like he deserved and will be remembered always.

Hi, Holli, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Woodrow. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. It doesn't matter if it's our first experience with a physical loss or our thousandth - - each grief journey is unique because each relationship we have with our beloved companions is individually special. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Holli, please let me try to reassure you that what you are experiencing and feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. I can very much relate to how you're feeling when you share with us: "Its not just him I say goodbye to, its my childhood, its my other lost loved ones. Woody was the link that held it all together. He was there when Baxter, my mother and Holli passed and its as though I'm grieving his physical loss and the loss of someone who loved the same people I did and went through the same experiences as I did. Like I'm re-grieving their losses through him."

I was my Mom's caregiver, and together we had two companions - - a cat named Holly and a dog named Samson. Several years ago my Mom and I were victims of a reckless driver, and six weeks later she succumbed to her injuries. I, too, suffered severe injuries from which I have permanent challenges to deal with for the rest of my life. Holly and Samson were my "connection" to the life my Mom and I had, and Samson especially became my "therapy" dog through a very long recovery and rehab which included a journey through a very dark depression - - so strong was our connection that he could sense when he needed to literally lay himself on me to protect and comfort me when the panic attacks were severe. Holly joined the angels and Mom in January 1997. Samson joined them in March 1998. The adjustment to Samson's physical absence was very hard - - for it felt like I had lost my last connection to my Mom and Holly.

However, I have come to know this is not true, for love is eternal, Holli - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Just as my beloved Samson's sweet Living Spirit continues to share my earthly journey now, so your beloved Woodrow's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for your beloved Woodrow is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Holli - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I do know from first hand experience that this grief journey is one of the most difficult experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure. But I assure you, Holli, it is a journey you do not travel alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

When our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Woodrow with us, Holli. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Holli, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam, it's hard, but I know it will get better. I Have accepted that he's gone, but I still expect him to be there when I get home, to snuggle up to me at night as always. I am just thankful that he chose me to spend his life with, I am the luckiest person! I am just so tired of being sad all the time. Woodrow hated it when I was sad, he would be the one to lick away my tears and try to cheer me up. He would be upset to know that he is causing me to be this sad.

I'm lucky to have a great support network around me - people who've experienced first hand how much I loved my little man. My family got together to share stories and memories of Woodrow, every one made me chuckle, he had such a quirky, infectious personality that you couldn't help to fall in love with him!

Here's a picture of Woods taken about 4 months ago, at his favorite spot, my bed! And another that always makes me laugh!