It has been 18 very painful days. Actually day 1was denial and a fog. These past 17 days are filled with so many tears. My concentrated pain this past hour is that dodger trusted me and I ended his life. He had a horrible abscess which was the determining factor for the vet who made the choice. Dodger was old arthritic loss of bladder defacating while lying down and the loss of dignity was painful. He also had labored breathing. I'm still so sad

Hi, Frank, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. It is perfectly normal during the deep grief for us to measure our minutes, hours, days, weeks, months by the time our beloved companion transitioned home to the angels. But I promise you, Frank, it will not always be this way. Eventually one day very likely when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Dodger and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill once again with the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Dodger share.

But until this time comes for you, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Frank, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dodger's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Frank, first of all let me say how very sorry I am for the loss of your precious Dodger, the pain of losing a beloved pet is all too familiar with me, as I lost my beautiful cat Jasper just three weeks ago. He was only seven and became very ill quite suddenly, he too had labored breathing as your Dodger did, and he was just so weak and disoriented, and it was just so hard to watch him decline so rapidly in front of my very eyes. I just wanted to wake up from this terrible dream, and I am sure you felt the same way when you were losing your sweet doggie. I wanted them to keep him overnight at the animal hospital, but the doctor said it would just be a matter of keeping him on life support, and that he was clearly and without a doubt suffering, so I had to make the most painful decison I have ever made, and I had to love him enough to let him go. I feel so bad for you and my heart goes out to you, because I know how much you are hurting, as I am going through the same feelings. Did I do enough, should I have taken him home and taken my chances, but when the doctor brought him in the room, his eyes although somewhat vacant, still pleaded with me to let him go, and rest assured, you did the right thing in letting your sweet companion be released from his pain. I still go back and forth on this, maybe I should have waited, maybe I could have done more, but the doctor told me that he was not going to last the night and he was really hurting, so I had to take every single bit of strength I had in my heart and soul to let him go to the angels and be restored to his vibrant and healthy self. I am just trying to get through one day at a time, some days I think the sadness is easing up, then the next day I will see something of his, or I will remember our special times together, and there I am again, back to the first days of losing him, and my heart seems to break all over again. Well I just wanted to let you know that I do understand what you are going through, and you are not alone in this, it can be a very cold, lonely, and dark road, but we just have to put one foot in front of the other, and keep going on, even though sometimes we don't want to and sometimes we don't even know how to. I remember one of the first posts I made on this forum just a few days into this was entitled "I just don't know how to do this", and I am pretty much in the same place now, and do I ever miss my sweet boy as I know you miss your Dodger, and the tears continue to fall. I never knew what true devastation felt like until that night when I walked out of the animal hospital with my kittie's carrier, but not him. Take care Frank, and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope that you will find hope in your heart that it won't always be like this, it won't always be this hard just to get through the day, our precious pets would not want to see us so sad, they knew and know how very much they are loved.

Dear Jasper's mom,I am so sorry for your pain. Your experience sounded so painful. You were helpless in whT you could do for jasper. You made the only and loving decision that you could. There is such a void right now for me. I miss my dodger. My wife did me a favor and picked up his ashes tester day I couldn't look. They stayed in this side room before joining our memorial shelf where loved ones ashes from before are. This is so sad. My prayers to you I'm so sorry you lost jAsper. We certainly can hope and pray that we will be reunited I believe this

Oh My Goodness, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope healing has been kind for you. You gave your peep the best parting gift, relief from a body that was no longer able to support him. We attach so much meaning and emotion to the physical form. I'll be the first to admit I miss the physical presence, looking into their eyes, feeling their fur, the kisses, the unconditional love spilling from the wagging tail,...

I wish it were easier for humans to be OK with the spiritual presence. I hope you are doing better and have found some measure of peace from having to let your dear peep transition to a place where his spirit can soar free.