I am glad I found this place, I hope that here people will understand the way I feel. I have been reading some of your posts about your wonderful animals as well before I made my own post.

This is the sixth day without my Joey now. I have spent most of them in bed, ignoring the world around me. My boyfriend tries to understand, I know he does. But he simply doesn't. According to him, if I just get out of bed and try to live my life again, it would be easier. But how do I do that, Joey was such a big part of my life. I currently don't have a job which means I spent most of my days at home, where Joey always was to comfort me.

His head resting on my lap when I was at my pc searching for jobs. Him racing around the kitchen corner when he heard me opening up the fridge. Always close to me when I was in the kitchen cooking, to swoop up anything I dropped and trust me, I make a mess when I cook. If I wasn't in the livingroom (where his bed was) he would come in to the room I was every now and then to check on me.

I think I am going crazy, because every now and then I still think I can hear his paws clicking on the wooden kitchenfloor.


Theres so many more things I would like to share about my beautiful Joey, but thinking about it just hurts so much.





Sorry for my sloppy writing, I'm in such a mess.

On a last note, I know a lot of people say it gets easier, but I simply can't believe that. How does this get easier, it only seems to get harder.

Hi, Stargaze, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Joey. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

Stargaze, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. This grief journey is one of the hardest and painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time - - for you are now on a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for this journey is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be too very painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

The word "easier" when used in comforting is misleading and can be very hurtful. There is no "getting over" or "moving on" or "closure" to the physical absence of a loved one - - whoever the life form. These terms were developed by psychologists in the early 1970's, 1980's, when hospice services were just beginning to be offered here in the United States. However, many clinical psychologists now recognize that the grief journey is one of "adjustment" to the physical absence of a loved one - - of ALL life forms - - for they now recognize that the grief adjustment journey of a beloved companion is identical to the grief journey of a human family member or friend. And although clinical psychologists acknowledge the "5 stages of grief" that were also developed in the early 1970's, 1980's, they now recognize that these stages are not experienced "A-Z" but rather vary individually with intensity and combination. This is one of the many reasons why the grief adjustment journey is now recognized as being a horror roller coaster ride - - particularly during the very deep grief.

But I want to promise you, Stargaze, that it will not always be this way. One day, very probably when you least expect it, you will be thinking of your beloved Joey and you will find yourself smiling -- truly smiling - -and you will feel your heart fill once again with the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Joey share - - for these memories come with the reassurance that the love bond you and your beloved Joey share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Even though your beloved Joey is not physically with you now, his sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will -- for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

And one of the many ways he lets you know his sweet Living Spirit is with you is through the sounds you continue to hear. I assure you, Stargaze, you are NOT going crazy when you hear the click of his nails on the floor, or feel him nudging you, or hear his distinct bark. Our beloved companions DO have ways of letting us know they are still close to us when they are no longer physically with us. I hope you will be able to find comfort when your beloved Joey lets you know he is still with you, as many of us here have experienced very similar reassurances with our beloved companions.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched with deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. And I want to reassure you that you are among friends here who truly DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Joey with us, Stargaze. He is a handsome fellow, and from the expression in his eyes he KNOWS he is loved. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Stargaze, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks for your kind words.

I have my ups and serious downs. I am reading a lot of the stories on these forums, it is saddening to see all this pain. But I also realise all your animals have been priviliged to be loved by a caring human. I hope my Joey feels the same. I'm happy I took more than plenty of pictures of him, and some of us both. At least his image won't fade away.

I haven't cried in a few days, but thats probably because it is the weekend and I am just far too occupied to cry. I still think about him continuously though. Not finding any dog hairs on my socks and furniture actually made me sad.. That's probably the first time NOT seeing dog hair made me sad. It made me feel silly to feel that way, one of the first slighly positive emotions I have felt concerning all of this since it happened.

I wish there was a way we could prevent our hearts from getting broken by these things. But deep inside, every pet owner knows there will come a time to say goodbye to their beloved animal. It usually just comes too soon, far too soon..

Writing down how I am feeling makes me feel somewhat better, maybe I should've done it earlier.

Hi, Stargaze, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I do so understand how you're feeling when you share with us "But deep inside, every pet owner knows there will come a time to say goodbye to their beloved animal. It usually just comes too soon, far too soon.." Indeed, it doesn't matter how much time we are blessed with sharing our companions' earthly journeys - - for we will ALWAYS want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime with them.

Many people find it helpful to keep a journal of their grief journey - - writing down their many treasured memories - - including pictures of their beloved companions. Some people use this forum as their journal.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Stargaze, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Joey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam