Thursday we had to end our beautiful 16 year old Staff Terriers life after a sudden brief illness. Lydia was the coolest most amazing animal I have ever owned. I can't imagine life without her.

Besides just plain missing her there is this huge hole left in our lives. Our apartment suddenly seems so empty. What can I do to help fill this void? Will it ever feel like home again? Right now it somehow feels like we're living in a strange new house.

Every time I've returned home the last 15 some years she has greeted me with a wag and her kongy. I hate going home now.

I can't believe she is finally gone.

Hi, Laggard, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Lydia. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Laggard, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that right now can seem all too painful that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

But I promise you, Laggard, that it is a journey you do not travel alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Right now your home will feel empty - - the sound of silence from the energy your beloved Lydia brought to your heart and home is a HUGE adjustment, and it is a very painful one both emotionally and physically. But I wish to assure you that in the midst of your sorrow your beloved Lydia's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will, for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Laggard - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And because of this she is with you wherever you are, wherever you go, whatever you do - - and eventually as your deep grief eases you will begin to feel like your home truly still is "home."

I thank you so much for honoring us by sharing your beloved Lydia with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Laggard, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for the kind words.

I caught myself laughing at a movie last night and felt bad about it. How can I laugh just a few days after losing my dog?

There is a hole in our hearts. Returning home after work is hard. I've made it a habit of walking around the front and entering our place instead of the back where Lydia greeted me every day for the last five years. Our place is just so empty and cold now. I cant imagine it ever feeling like home again.

Hi, Laggard, thank you so much to share with us how you're doing. Yes, when we are in deep grief we can feel guilty about laughing, smiling, thinking of something else other than our deep sorrow in missing our beloved companion. Please know this is perfectly normal - - and you are in NO WAY being disloyal to your beloved Lydia by laughing, smiling, enjoying things, etc.. One of the hardest things we endure in our grief adjustment journey is "re-inventing" our lives that no longer includes the sweet precious physical presence of our beloved companions - - which includes giving ourselves permission to laugh and smile again. This is what your beloved Lydia wants for you - - and as your deep grief eases hopefully you will come to find a peace in your heart that it really is okay to once again find enjoyment.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Laggard, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Lydia's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you. There is a permanance that haunts me. No matter what I do there is nothing to change the fact that i will NEVER see her again. I hate that fact.

What i wouldn't give for just one more day with her.

Hi, Laggard, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so understand how you feel when you share with us: "What i wouldn't give for just one more day with her." Our earthly journey is never long enough with our beloved companions - - for no matter how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company, we will ALWAYS want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime with them.

One universal hope that helps us through the difficult grief adjustment journey is that at our appropriate time we will be reunited with our beloved companions in eternal joy in a place where there will be no more pain, sorrow, or separation from those we love. I hope you as you travel your grief adjustment journey that you can find a peace and hope in your heart that one day at your appropriate time you will be reunited with your beloved Lydia.

For now, though, I hope today is treating you kindly, Laggard, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Lydia's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Just got a call that her ashes are ready. I wasn't prepared for how much that would hurt to hear. I guess it's the ultimate finality. Untill now I could maybe deep down fool myself into thinking that she was at the kennel for a few days.

As much as I dread picking her up she does belong at home with us.

Hi, Laggard, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes, picking up your beloved Lydia's ashes is a two-sided coin: the one side can be a relief to have your beloved Lydia's remains back home while the other side is yet another HUGE "reality check" that she is no longer physically with you in the way your heart and arms yearn for. It will be perfectly normal if you find this a very difficult errand to do, Laggard. Please let us know how things go.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Laggard, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Lydia's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam