Click to view attachmentOur cherished Amazon of 25 years, Boogie, passed away on 10/17/13 and I can't stop crying. My husband and I are completely devastated. Even though Boogie was not feeling well recently (the vet diagnosed it as an unspecified liver problem), he continued to behave normally, so his passing was quite unexpected. Whenever he did display any rare signs of illness, he always recovered so quickly that we just thought he would bounce back again as usual. I can count on one hand the times Boogie actually became ill over the past 25 years, but one day this past September he became alarmingly droopy, weak and off-balance, and it took hours for him to return to normal. That's when I took him to the vet and found out there was a problem with his liver. The vet couldn't be sure what the exact problem might have been without further, more stressful tests, which he recommended against, so he simply prescribed some meds for Boogie in hopes that it would clear up whatever was bothering him. There was never a thought that his illness might be life-threatening. In the meantime, it also never occurred to us that our bird was getting older. We just assumed he would be with us for a very long time to come. We've shared our home with many different animals over the years (we just lost a special-needs bunny of 8 years a few weeks ago), but we always assumed Boogie would be the one to outlive them all. I don't even know if I noticed he was slowing down a little bit and sleeping more than he used to. Maybe I just didn't want to notice it. He seemed so happy and normal, and giving Boogie the meds (3 different liquids twice a day) was torturous to both him and me. It was extremely traumatic and he hated it. He would gag and sneeze when I managed to get any down his throat, but most of the pink sticky mess would end up on my clothes, his feathers and the walls, so I decided to focus on his diet and lay off the meds for awhile. I checked online and his symptoms seemed to indicate that he might be suffering with fatty liver disease, so I purchased specially formulated parrot food for him and made sure he had only low protein, low fat, low starch and low sugar fruits and veggies. He had only 2 very minor relapses over the past few weeks, but bounced back almost immediately. Everything seemed to be going well, until he had a more serious relapse that took him over an hour to recover from, but still he returned to normal and we just chalked it up to his liver ailment. I tried one more time to give him some meds, but that was as disastrous as before. On his last day, October 17th, Boogie was up to usual antics, but as late afternoon approached, he seemed to be getting tired and off-balance. By that evening, he was in a full relapse, so I held him in my lap as I had always done in the past until he recovered. As the hours passed, he rallied a few times, and I was definitely worried, but I thought all would be well. I'll never know if it was due to his age or his liver, but my poor little bird just couldn't bounce back this time. He died in my arms late that night.

It was my husband who decades ago wanted a parrot, but for whatever reason, Boogie had bonded with me, so I'm having a particularly difficult time dealing with his death. The bird and I built a very special relationship over the next 25 years that I cannot fully describe in words. He was a part of me. He was my constant companion around the house, and now I just feel an enormous hole in my life. No matter what I did on a daily basis (cleaning, cooking, relaxing...absolutely everything), he was there on my shoulder. When my husband and I argued, my little Boogie was there to soothe my nerves. When we planned an evening out, we had to be home as soon as possible to make sure Boogie didn't have to spend an extra moment in his cage. Our lives literally revolved around our bird, but we loved him so much it was a joy, not a hardship. Boogie had a love/hate relationship with my husband since he was considered an "intruder" by our parrot, but they shared many special moments together as well.

I am overwhelmed by despair at the unfairness of my bird being taken from me, and guilt that I should have or could have done more for him. He was my life and I don't know how to go on without my Boogie.

Hi, Pamela, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical losses of your beloved Boogie and bunny. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a short period of time intensifies the grief.

Pamela, please permit me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief -- very painful both emotionally and physically, yes, -- still very normal. This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that may be too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

But I promise you it is a journey that you will not have to travel alone, for each of us here do understand what you are going through and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

One of the many emotions we ALL endure during the deep grief is guilt / remorse, and it is one of the hardest of the grief emotions to reconcile. It comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the things that didn't make sense at the time they were happening, and enduring all the "whys" and "if onlys" that consume our hearts. Pamela, it is very clear from what you share with us that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Boogie a happy, healthy earthly journey. It is my understanding that birds can be stressed very easily, and that stress can be lethal. Your decision to forego his medications in lieu of providing health-needs nutrition could very well be the reason why he did so well with his health challenges. While medications can be helpful, their benefits cannot always be worth the stress and side effects. So please do not berate yourself for not forcing your beloved Boogie to take the medications. I hope someday you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Boogie knows you did everything in your power to help him, and he is eternally grateful to you.

In the midst of your deep sorrow there is one thing that will never change - - the eternal love bond you and your beloved Boogie share - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for your beloved Boogie is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Pamela, thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Boogie with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Pamela, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear moon_beam,

I most sincerely appreciate and thank you for your extremely kind and thoughtful words. This is indeed the most painful loss I have ever had to face in my entire life. I think what is all the more worse is that Boogie was my sanctuary. Whenever I needed to escape from the world for awhile, I only had to go into Boogie's room, shut the door and my bird and I would watch old movies on TV. Now, however, the one thing that could help me cope is the very thing that is gone. I avoid Boogie's room at all costs since the only thing that will greet me is a big, black empty cage. My sanctuary is gone forever and I feel completely lost.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some words of comfort and encouragement.

We live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. When our companions come into our lives, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe in our daily routines as they are totally dependent upon us for their every need - - food, health care, emotional nuture, etc.. When they precede us to the angels our lives are changed again - - we are faced with the incredibly painful task of "re-inventing" our lives and daily routines that no longer include the physical - - and emotional - - needs of our companion. Unfortunately, Pamela, there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. One of the things that many people have found helpful is holding something that belongs only to their beloved companion when the physical ache to hold their companion is more than what their heart can bear. I have slept with my beloved companion's collar under my pillow, and when the deep sorrow was extremely overwhelming I would hold a blanket or toy - - something - - that only belongs to them to help bridge the emptiness of holding them in my arms. No, it isn't the same - - but it did help me - - and others - - and it might help you through the very difficult moments as well.

It's perfectly okay that you do not go into your beloved Boogie's room until YOU are ready, Pamela - - for however long that will be. It is vitally important that you find healthy ways to release your sorrow, for the stress of grieving does take a toll on our physical bodies which can cause physical illnesses. And I promise you, Pamela, it will not always be this way. But until you are able to have more better days than difficult ones, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear moon_beam,

The night Boogie passed, my husband and I desperately tried to removed the small steel ring from his leg that was placed there by the breeder when he was a baby. It was just too difficult, so we decided to wait until we brought his remains to the vet's office for cremation and ask if they could remove the ring for us. They were kind enough to do so and I now keep the ring with me at all times, but I find it more sad than comforting. It just reminds me of Boogie's sweet little bird legs and his adorable little bird feet that I'll never see again.

My husband tried his best to be supportive over the past few days since Boogie died, but he's reverted to his own way of handling stress and sadness. He's a drinker and when he's had a few shots, he doesn't always say the most appropriate things. It's at those times that I miss Boogie the most. He was definitely my security blanket and now that he's gone, I feel completely alone when my husband is acting like a jerk.

I still haven't been able to return to "normal" life yet. I used to love cooking, but that was something I shared with Boogie. I can't even look inside the fridge without thinking of my bird and the treats he loved to eat. Every corner of our house is a painful reminder of Boogie. There have been times over the past week when I couldn't bear to spend one more minute at home, so my husband and I would go for a drive, but then while we were out the thought of having to return to our dreadfully quiet, bird-less house would just haunt me.

At this point, I still can't believe Boogie is gone and I'm feeling rather numb.

I am sorry to hear about the passing of Boogie. my prayers are with you and your family. I lost my boy of 10yrs on Monday 10/28. Boots was more than just my cat he was my world, my companion, my everything so I understand the bond you had with Boogie that can't be described in words. The support group is helping me and I pray it helps you as well. I understand the emptiness you feel and I pray with each passing day our hearts will learn to heal. We are all here for you. You do not grieve alone. * hugs to you from me and my family* be strong and I promise to be strong with you. love Ke & my baby who will always be with me Boots

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "I still haven't been able to return to "normal" life yet. I used to love cooking, but that was something I shared with Boogie. I can't even look inside the fridge without thinking of my bird and the treats he loved to eat. Every corner of our house is a painful reminder of Boogie. There have been times over the past week when I couldn't bear to spend one more minute at home, so my husband and I would go for a drive, but then while we were out the thought of having to return to our dreadfully quiet, bird-less house would just haunt me. At this point, I still can't believe Boogie is gone and I'm feeling rather numb."

When we are in deep grief our bodies go into "survival mode" - - hence the numbness you are feeling right now. It takes time for your mind and body to process the trauma of your grief. Eventually the numbness will ease as you progress in your grief adjustment journey.

I am so sorry your husband is not as supportive as you need him to be. But please know each of us are here for you through every step of your grief adjustment journey for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm deeply sorry to hear of the recent loss of your Boots, and thank you for your kind thoughts regarding my Boogie. For the amount of love and joy our companions brought to our lives, their time with us seems much too short.

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks so much for allowing me to vent. Though I have family and friends who sympathize, the only person who truly understands the loss of Boogie to me and who was there when Boogie joined our lives is my husband, Neil. I turned 50 this year and both Boogie and Neil have been with me for exactly half my life. Neil loved our bird too, but even he admits Boogie and I had a special bond. Unfortunately, Neil can't handle grief at all. He prefers to "drown his sorrows" instead of dealing with them. I made the mistake of mentioning to him how painful it is to live in a house that is a constant reminder of Boogie, so now he is pressuring us into moving. I don't think this is the right time for such a drastic upheaval, but he just doesn't want to listen.

It's only been 2 weeks since Boogie passed, but it feels as if I've been mourning him forever.

Oh Pamela

My heart is sorrowing with you at the passing of your dear, darling Boogie. Twenty five years is the better part of a lifetime. After losing two dogs after only a few years together, I cannot imagine what a loss after a love-life of twenty five years together must be like. Please know that the many many people here on Lightning Strike are all sorrowing with you.

Pamela, it's only been two week since you received the shock of your life. You're in the shock-and-awe period - when you feel like someone has taken a high-powered rifle, aimed it directly at your heart and shot it to pieces. During this horrible time there are really only two states your heart can be in - suffering the unbelievable pain of being totally shattered - or - collapsing with numbness because your body and soul can only stand so much pain.

This terrible period can seem interminable, every minute like and hour, every day like a year. You have absolutely NO task that you HAVE to do during this time except to keep exhaling after you inhale - that's all. Anything else is a heroic extra. This suffering will ever so slowly lift. You won't even notice it. And while it is still with you, please take extra special care of yourself. Move slowly. Rest. Cry. Curl up in a ball. Anything you have to do to protect yourself.

We grieve in proportion as we love - and your suffering, even though it cannot even be described to someone who has not been through such a loss - also shows how deep your love for Boogie is - NOT "was". Boogie is still alive in the universe - but now as a spirit. He can see you, hear you, perch on your shoulder, watch over you, and most importantly, keep on sharing the love you two have always shared. But we people,, when we cannot see or heer or feel or otherwise sense something say it does not exist. This is NOT true. You and Boogie are universal soul-mates - shsaring parts of each others' souls. When Boogie went back home to the Perfect World from which he came, he took with hima piece of your heart - and he left you a piece of his. it is, as you said, absolutely true - there IS a hole in your heart. It is the piece that Boogie took with him and will nourish and cherish forever. You have a piece of his soul in you to nourish and cherish, too. And someday, when you enter the spirit world, you will be united with Boogie and will exchange the soul-pieces and be whole once again - this time forever - without end.

Some people say the sadness and grief is gradually replaced with happy memories, but if this is true I am here to testify that it must take a whole lot longer than three years - the time since I lost my Gretta - the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived. Meanwhile all your Lightning Strike brothers and sisters are here to care for you and encourage you - to listen when you need to talk, to understand when you need to rage, to wipe away your tears when you remember dear Boogie and miss his with all your heart, to share stories of their beloved soul-mates and to join hands with you in a circle of very special people - those with animal soul-mates.

Please don't make any hasty decisions during this time of crisis, Pamela. Especially major one about moving. It's WAY more than you can physically do right now. Some people say to wait for at least a year before making a major change. I believe that. And, like MoonBeam says, there is absolutely NO need to change a thing in Boogie's room right now. I still have my dog's food-and-water station set up, and the basket of their toys is still where it ever was. Their big orthopedic dog bed is still in the living room covered with quilts. Even then snow sweaters and dog boots are still in their box in the closet.

Thank you for sharing Precious Boogie's life with us. It is an honor for all your Lightning Strike brother and sisters to share him and his life with you. Write anytime about anything - big or small. Everyone here knows the suffering and everyone is loving and supportive to our LS brothers and sisters.

Blessings to you and your husband ... and Boogie in the Perfect World.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so understand how difficult it is for you to be in a place that is a constant reminder of the physical absence of your beloved Boogie. Scientific studies prove that each living being has an energy, and when this physical energy is no longer present -- for whatever reason - - the entire family unit goes through a very painful adjustment - - a "re-ordering" of daily routines. The sound of silence from the loss of the energy of a loved one is deafening - - and it is almost as if the physical structure of the house itself is grieving.

Sadly this is a part of the deep grief adjustment journey - - adjusting to the "new reality" of not having the physical presence of your beloved Boogie with you. As Gretta's Mom has so comfortingly shared with you, please let me try to affirm her counsel: "Please don't make any hasty decisions during this time of crisis, Pamela. Especially major ones about moving. It's WAY more than you can physically do right now. Some people say to wait for at least a year before making a major change. I believe that." Some people do find it helpful to find another place to live when the memories of staying are too painful. But I do want to caution you to not rush into making a major decision such as this at this time. Please give yourself an opportunity for your deep grief to ease.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Gretta's Mom,

Your reply really touched me deeply. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I know everyone here has suffered the loss of their wonderful animal companions. Please accept my sympanthies for the passing of your Gretta and Rufus. You are correct that it does seem like a lifetime after 25 years. I look back at all the changes that have occurred over that time and how Boogie was there every step of the way. It's overwhelming to say the least. My husband and I do feel a continuing sense of shock and disbelief that he's gone. We never had children, so my husband has been saying lately that Boogie was our son. Since he could communicate with us and required constant attention, Boogie really was like a feathered 2-year-old child who just never grew up. Without a doubt, this is the worst personal tragedy we have ever experienced.

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks for your shoulder. Looks like I'll need it for awhile longer. We can temporarily distract ourselves from the pain throughout the day with work or television, but of course as you know it all comes flooding back eventually. Neil is able to reminisce about Boogie, but I still can't think about the "good times" yet. As of now, I'm unable to shake the terrible image of Boogie dying in my arms.

Bad day...I had to go into Boogie's room since that was also my office. I've been avoiding it for the past few weeks since that's where Boogie died, but I had to do some work today. I'm sitting in his room right now, typing this and looking at his empty cage. My heart is breaking.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so imagine how difficult it is for you to be in your office room without your beloved Boogie's sweet physical presence to keep you company. This is a HUGE adjustment indeed. It is important that you do what you need to in order to ease the stress of being back in your office room - - for this is one of the many "first without" adjustments in your grief journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks to you, moon_beam, for your continuing support. I can't stop thinking about the day Boogie passed. It keeps replaying over and over in my mind, along with "if only". I find myself weeping and apologizing aloud to Boogie for not noticing how ill and how old he was. "If only" I had known. He was on my shoulder begging for treats as usual, but I explained to him that he couldn't have any "people" food. Now I look back and wish I would have given him a little treat from my plate. When he lay sick in my arms that night, there are so many things I would have done differently...if only I had known...

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, during the deep grief the "if onlys" are like a piercing sword in our hearts. Scientific studies show that our brains "record" events like videos. When we experience a traumatic event - - and the physical loss of a beloved companion qualifies as a traumatic event - - our brains not only record the event but also in an attempt to try to "make sense" of what happened - - continuously replays that event - - which are called "flashbacks". This is often seen in situations such as victims and survivors of 9/11/2001, veteran battle fatigue, victims of criminal acts, victims of war, etc.. The clinical name for this is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Because of a major traumatic event in my life several years ago, I sought the assistance of a professional counselor. He helped me to understand what was happening to me, and because of his wise counsel he helped me develop skills to cope with the effects of PTSD. It takes time and a concerted effort to develop these skills, but they do work for many people, and hopefully will also help you now.

In order to "break the chain" of replaying the events of your beloved Boogie's passing, you will need to purposely redirect your thoughts to something more pleasant when you begin to have "flashbacks". I know this will not be easy to do, but it does help. Does this mean you will forget the night your beloved Boogie joined the angels? No - - but working on "breaking the chain" of the flashbacks will help to desensitize the trauma of your memories so that you will eventually be able to focus on the many wonderful memories you and your beloved Boogie share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks for the advice. It turns out I had no choice but to "break the chain". I ended up catching pneumonia somehow, so I've been stuck in bed for the past several days just trying to recover. I'm still under the weather, but now that I'm starting to get up and about, I find it extremely difficult to think about Boogie. I can look at something of his (such as his perch, which is still sitting in its usual spot in the kitchen) without breaking down, but if I actually think about what it is, I completely lose it. Life sort of came to a halt the day Boogie passed, so I find myself counting the weeks from that point. It's only been 4 weeks, but it feels like an eternity.

My husband had suggested a few days after Boogie's passing that we might one day consider getting another bird. I know he was only trying to help, but he knows that we could never find a bird as special as Boogie. It took years for us to develop our relationship with him and vice versa. Even if we actually considered trying to find another parrot at some point in the future, there's no guarantee that it would bond with either one of us the way Boogie did. I think the worst part though is that we're both in our 50's now, so we would be in our late 70's or even older by the time a new bird reached its average lifespan. When we thought Boogie would live for many many more years, one of my greatest worries was what would become of him if Neil and I passed before our beloved Boogie. (Neil's greatest worry was what would happen if I passed before he did since Boogie had bonded with me and there was no way he could take care of Boogie.) Even if another bird only lived to 25 years, I could never go through that kind of heartbreak again. It's too unbearable. That's really what makes the loss of Boogie so completely devastating for me. We'll never again have the joy of a parrot in our lives, so it's really the end of an era for us.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and I hope you will continue to feel better and stronger each day.

I can very much relate to how you're feeling when you share with us: "Even if another bird only lived to 25 years, I could never go through that kind of heartbreak again. It's too unbearable. That's really what makes the loss of Boogie so completely devastating for me. We'll never again have the joy of a parrot in our lives, so it's really the end of an era for us."

My precious feline companion, Noah, is my sole surviving companion in a household that used to have four furkids including Noah. In December 2006, my beloved number one kitty son Eli (and Noah's adopted big kitty brother) joined the angels at 6 years of age due to end stage Lymphoma, on Thanksgiving weekend 2009 my beloved Black Lab Oslo joined the angels at 15 years of age due to a sudden stroke, and in March 2010 my beloved beautiful kitty girl Abbygayle (and Noah's sibling sister) joined the angels at 6 years of age due to end stage Fibrosarcoma. My precious Noah is 10.5 years old, and in the past year he has survived two major life-threatening events - - September 2012 he underwent emergency surgery for what turned out to be a twisted intestine - - and last week he experienced a severe insulin-shock hypoglycemia event which required intensive ER care. And -- because of my older years (which I am significantly older in years than you and your husband) and physical challenges that continue to degenerate over the years, my precious Noah will be my last furchild companion. Like you, when my precious Noah joins the angels it will bring a MAJOR change and adjustment to the remainder of my earthly journey.

Part of our responsibility as caregivers of companions is accepting the "reality" of our abilities to properly take care of another life. Our companions are TOTALLY dependent upon us for their every need - - and this is a responsibility as caregivers of our companions that we do not take lightly. Adopting a companion after a physical loss is a very personal decision, and only you and your husband will know what decision is RIGHT for YOU.

For me, even though my precious Noah will be my last companion, I know I will be blessed with the company of the wildlife. And although you and your husband may elect to not embrace another companion into your lives, perhaps your beloved Boogie will show you a way to engage your interests for the wildlife in your area - - or perhaps fostering a homeless waif until they find a new Forever Home - - or volunteering with rescue organizations. But WHATEVER you decide, Pamela, will be the RIGHT decision for you and your husband.

I can also very much understand how you are feeling when you share with us: "Life sort of came to a halt the day Boogie passed, so I find myself counting the weeks from that point. It's only been 4 weeks, but it feels like an eternity." Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal. When our companions come into our lives, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again and we measure EVERYTHING in our lives from that experience during the deep grief because the deep grief is so very, very painful. But from first hand experience I promise you that one day the deep grief will ease and you will once again be able to embrace the joy of the memory of your beloved Boogie's earthly journey with you. Certainly there will always be a void in your and your husband's lives without the physical presence of your beloved Boogie - - BUT the intensity of the sorrow will ease, and this is what your beloved Boogie wants for you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

This just made me cry again.. This is exactly how I feel about my cat, his favorite chair is empty. I have only 1 bowl of food on the floor instead of 2. His favorite toy is laying in the corner. What kills me the most is the big cat house/carrier I've got them for our future move. I thought it's the best for them to be in 1 carrier because they love each other and would feel better being together during the road trip. The last picture of my cat was the picture of him sitting in his new carrier. Now I have this huge carrier and 1 cat, the brother of my lost/possibly dead cat.

Dear moon_beam,

Thanks again for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your fur babies. I hope Noah is with you for many more years to come.


As I begin to recover from my recent illness, the sadness is now returning. I'm sitting here on my couch in complete sorrow as I remember the distinct feeling of Boogie perched on my shoulder (always my left shoulder) with his warm feathered chest against my cheek so I could hear his little heart beating. That's something I will miss every day of my life. Neil has described the loss of Boogie for me is the same as losing a limb...only worse.

I had to work in my office today, but I covered his cage with a white sheet so that it sort of blends into the wall...of course, I know it's still there. Neil and I sometimes hear phantom Boogie squawks, but today I could have sworn I heard a sound coming from the cage, like there was something moving inside. I also keep finding random Boogie feathers in places where there was nothing before. So strange.

Dear JuliaSC,

I'm so sorry to hear about your precious kitty. I wish I had some magic words to give you comfort. I agree with others here who have recommended that you ignore what the so-called "pet communicators" told you. They are greedy scam artists who prey on the emotions of those who are desperate to find their missing companions. The only person who truly knew your cat is you, so listen to your heart. Keep leaving food on your porch along with items of your clothing or a pair of your shoes, and call for your baby every day. I sincerely hope he returns to you very soon.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, this grief adjustment journey is a "process" that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time. I am so smiling at how your beloved Boogie is letting you know his sweet Living Spirit continues to be with you, even though you cannot see, hear, touch, smell him. This grief adjustment journey is both physical and emotional - - and it is indeed a very painful adjustment.

The trauma and recovery of your surgery - - no matter how "minor" the medical professionals may label it to be - - is another MAJOR "first without" in your adjustment journey without your beloved Boogie's sweet physical presence with you. But I promise you, Pamela, the deep sorrow will eventually ease and you will be able to once again smile when you remember your beloved Boogie's earthly journey with you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Pamela, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's now been 6 weeks since Boogie passed, and I understand the pain and grief I'm feeling, but I'm a bit bewildered by the disbelief and shock that I'm still experiencing. I know Boogie is gone, yet every day I find myself saying "I can't believe it..."

When Boogie became ill, I tried to brace myself for the worst. The first thing I did each morning was to check on him, just to be sure he was okay. I would call to him quietly and then feel completely overcome with relief when he responded to me. In the back of my mind however I was attempting to prepare myself in case he didn't respond. I suppose there really was no way I could truly prepare for his sudden passing. I feel as though I'm still in shock, which is making it very difficult for me to accept that Boogie is really gone.

I seem to only function in 2 modes these days. I don't think about my bird and go about my daily routines, but with the terrible feeling of a hole in my life. Then there are days when all I do is think about Boogie and cry my eyes out.

Not really sure how to deal with the holidays. I used to really enjoy this time of year, but now I find it completely depressing. I guess all of us here on this message board have similar feelings.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some words of encouragement and comfort that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "I used to really enjoy this time of year, but now I find it completely depressing." What is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are filled with sorrow in addition to them being among the "first withouts" we experience when our beloved companion is no longer physically with us.

I know all too well from first hand experience how difficult it is to put on the "public face" of merriment for those who are around us when all we want to do is fnd a dark corner to stay until the holidays and all the accompanying social gatherings are over with. It is important that you find time amid all the "holiday cheer" to allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve for your beloved Boogie - - even if you must find a quiet place of solitude to do so. And please know we are here for you, Pamela, whenever you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Pamela, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's hard to believe, but it's been 3 months and 1 week since Boogie passed. It feels as though it's been longer than that, but I guess grief can make it seem as if time has slowed down. I've still just been doing my best to keep it out of my thoughts, but for some reason I've been missing him quite a bit more than usual lately. I can think about him very briefly, just for a moment, but then I have to distract myself or I'll become really depressed. I suppose it's going to be this way for quite a long time. I went to my local pet supply store the other day to buy some cat food and it's still strange not going into the bird sections to look for toys and special treats. Cooking is weird too. I really have to pause when I'm cutting up vegetables or fruit since I used save special bits and scraps for Boogie. The best word I can think of to describe how it feels is confusion.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Boogie's 3 month angel-versary. During the deep grief things still get done, bills get paid, jobs get done, meals prepared, etc., but they are accomplished in a state of what I call "automatic pilot." For quite awhile we "exist" without feeling an integral part of what is happening, what we are doing, - - like being outside a store looking in the window at the displays and people shopping. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is a very normal part of the grief adjustment journey, although it is still a very painful part both emotionally and physically.

In time, though, I assure you that the deep sorrow and grief will ease, and one day you will notice that the ache in your heart is not quite so painful. Some people fear that this means they are forgetting their beloved companion, but I assure you, Pamela, this will not happen - - for your beloved Boogie is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. His greatest pleasure during his earthly journey was making you happy, and this remains his greatest pleasure through eternity. So, when you find yourself smiling, or laughing, your beloved Boogie is smiling, and laughing, too - - in seeing you happy.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Pamela, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Pamela, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I very much appreciate your kind words, moon_beam. You are exactly correct. There is a fear that I might forget the feelings I have for Boogie, but as of right now, it has been 4 months since he passed and I miss my bird more than ever. I am surrounded by constant reminders of Boogie every day, but his physical presence is gone and three simple words continually bring me to tears: I miss him.
I understand the way the universe works. All living things die. Even stars eventually burn out. Unfortunately, we humans cling to our need for permanence in an impermanent world, which causes us great misery. Sadly, this knowledge does little to lessen my sorrow when it comes to my Boogie. This is without question the most difficult loss I've ever experienced.

I forgot to mention that I had a very strange dream the other night. I was sitting by myself in an odd diner and speaking to random friendly people at other tables when suddenly my Boogie appeared, perched on my hand. He kept changing color (from bright orange to his usual bright green), but it was definitely my bird. I began stroking his feathers, but it wasn't exactly a happy scenario since I knew in my dream he was gone, so I told the diner patrons that he had actually passed away and that he wasn't really there. It was weird and sad.

It's been 6 months since Boogie passed and it still feels like it happened only yesterday. Just having a really difficult time accepting that he's gone. I get by day-to-day, but I cry every night when I think about the 27 years Boogie was in my life and how special he was. Not sure why, but the sadness seems to be overtaking me again and I miss him more than ever now. I'm so heartbroken without my sweet bird.

I've also recently realized that I can't stand living in the house where he died and I really want to move. I don't know if that would help diminish my sorrow, but as of now every corner of this place is a constant reminder that Boogie is gone forever. I'm haunted by his absence.

I had left Boogie's perch in the kitchen after he passed since I couldn't bear the thought of moving it or hiding it away, but over the past 6 months of non-use it became covered with a layer of dust, which is an even sadder thing to see. I finally decided it was time to cover it and place it in another room. His cage remains where it always has been though. Moving it would require quite a lot of furniture shifting...plus I just can't do it. If I even look at his cage for more than a moment, I completely lose it. Been doing that quite a bit lately.

My husband was kind of a jerk recently. He was running an errand the other day and decided to take a break at our local park (the scenery is really beautiful there). Some guy in the next car had a parrot with him that was similar to our Boogie (basically the same breed, but different coloring...ours was a Blue-Front, his a Double Yellow-Nape). Turns out the guy was some sort of bird trainer who had worked for Annheiser-Busch. Not at a theme park though. I guess at one time they had different sorts of attractions for the general public at some of their plants that included animal acts. Anyway, my husband apparently told the guy all about our bird and had a long discussion with him about parrot behavior. When my husband came home, he told me about the guy and how much better he felt after talking to him. He tried to show me photos of the parrot at the park, but I told him I wasn't ready for that and I didn't want to hear anymore about how great it was that he met some stranger who had a parrot. It really irritated me that he thought it was appropriate to talk about me and my feelings about Boogie to the guy. If my husband wanted to talk about himself, that's his business, but he should have kept his mouth shut about me. He then said I should "get over it" since HE was now less sad about Boogie. Not only am I still devastated over the loss of my bird, but I'm also furious that my husband acted like such an idiot.

Pamela,

Omg. I can understand your upset. But first, I want to say how very, very sorry I am to read about your losing Boogie. I read your story several days ago, or so, and intended to write a note, but didn't. When I saw this post, it reminded me, I remembered your story, and how heartbreaking it is. I can't imagine having a fur/feather friend in my life that long and losing him. omg, the grief! It must have felt like losing an arm. I am so, so sorry. I thought of Molly, reading your story....I didn't realize how much a part of my life she was, but I think her world revolved around us as well, so yes, when they're gone they take a huge, huge part of your heart with them.

But with your husband and his comments. I could understand how you're feeling. My husband can tend to be a bit like that....well, I tend to be a very private person, but my husband is a little more "open" with things...but were I in your shoes, I'd likely feel the same way, that I wouldn't necessarily want him telling just anyone how I was feeling about things. I guess that's one of the pitfalls of marriage??

About the perch....I was kind of the opposite. There are things of Molly's that I will likely never, ever part with...her catnip mice, her comb, and her blankets. But after we lost her, I had to move certain things out of my sight---her little blanket bed on our bed, it would have absolutely killed me to look at it, empty, every night--it had to be moved. Her stand by the window had to be moved. Too many reminders of her would have just done me in. Losing her has been torture for me, and the less I had to look at first, that reminded me of her, the better.

But I think Molly was to me, a kind of support the way Boogie was to you. We moved about seven years ago, out of state, and it turned into an awfully hard move for me. Especially that first year, I felt so alone, no friends nearby, it ended up being a really rough year for me. But I had Molly. Without fully being aware of it, Molly was my support, my constant, my best-friend and saved me through that first year here. We'd had her for 16 years, though a lot times, and she was kind of an anchor for me. No matter what, my Molly was always there for me at the end of the day. She was my baby. The grief is so intense. It's a hole that, I fear, will never be filled.

Snapdragon,

Thanks so much for your reply and kind words. Please accept my deepest sympathies for your Molly. I wish I had some magic words to lessen your sadness, but if it helps you to know, everyone here shares the pain you are feeling. Every post I read in this forum brings me to tears.

This has definitely been the worst loss I have ever experienced. Since Boogie was such a huge part of my life, and really my whole world for the past 2 and a half decades, I can't stop thinking about him...but when I do think about him I just fall to pieces, so I have to struggle every waking moment to keep the ball of grief in the middle of my chest from rising to the surface. I miss him so much that it's a nightmare trying not to think about Boogie when literally everything reminds me of him. Boogie had such a big personality and he was truly aware of everything around him. He would even laugh along with my husband and I when we watched something amusing on TV. I know he only did it because we were laughing, but it was a unique chuckle that he developed all on his own. He would sing along with any music heard in his own special language, yet when he wanted more attention he knew exactly what to say to make us understand what he needed.

Fortunately, my husband hasn't mentioned that guy from the park again, so I can be thankful for that anyway. I'm sure he meant well, but his judgement was a bit off that day. He actually misses Boogie a great deal too, but he even admits that it's far worse for me. He said the exact same thing as you, by the way. He also thought it must feel like I've lost a limb. I once described it as having a Boogie-shaped hole in my heart, and just like you, there's nothing in this world that can ever fill it and knowing that makes the grief never ending.

I do hope as time passes the sadness in your heart is replaced by happy memories of your dear Molly.

Thank you for your kindness and sympathies! And yes, the experience, for those of us who SO loved and adored our fur-friends/kids, is the same, isn't it, just a lot of very intense pain and emptiness.

My husband has had parrots before and has told me how very, very smart and OH-SO attached they become to their people, so I feel like I have a pretty good picture of how Boogie was such an integral part of your life. And now that I look back on it, I can see that Molly was such a part of me, like the air I breath, that losing her leaves me feeling battered, bruised and feeling like a zombie just going through the motions of living--so I can feel even how much more you must be feeling that, having had Boogie with you for two+ decades...I mean, when a loving friend has been with you that long, such a close, close part of your life, how do you go on when that part of you is no longer there? I hear that when you say "...I have to struggle every waking moment to keep the ball of grief in the middle of my chest from rising to the surface."

Well, I guess we just have to put one foot in front of another. What else is there to do? I am doing some reading on grief--and I'm now reading about grief in general, as well. For me, this is the first loss in my life where I've grieved this deeply--really, nothing comes close. Even when I lost my mom, whom I loved very much, she was a very good mom, and I did grieve when she passed, I knew there's never be anyone in this world again who would love me as much as she did, but even then, I didn't have this "I-want-to-die" kind of pain. I don't understand it. Seriously, how can I be grieving more deeply over my cat of 16 yrs? It doesn't make sense to me, but that's what it is. My mom passed 20+ yrs ago...I've wondered if I just don't remember... But I think, the pain I've had losing Molly, I can't imagine EVER forgetting how bad it is, even 20+ yrs ahead in time, I just can't imagine ever forgetting going through this, it's just hell. So, back to this....just putting one foot in front of the other. And holding onto hope that one day it will "be better."

I hope this year, the second of Boogie's passing, may perhaps, in some small way, by way of miracle, bring you just a little more peace. Thank you again for your heartfelt condolences on my losing Molly, I know you understand....and that helps, your words help. Thank you.

Snapdragon,

Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. I wanted to get my thoughts in order before responding.



As of April 18th it's been 7 months since Boogie passed and I still cry 2-3 times a day whenever I think of him.



There was something I didn't realize until just a few days ago. In addition to the physical separation from our departed fur/feather babies, we have lost our special language that we shared with them. We can no longer speak to them or use those special names we had for them, so we have to adjust our thinking patterns on a daily basis. I really miss that interaction with my Boogie, especially since he was such a talker.



I completely understand what you are experiencing. Even as recently as last week, I found myself wondering aloud "How can I go on without Boogie?" I suppose it's the pain of knowing that my life will never be the same.


I hope the same for you. I, and many others on this message board, know how much your Molly meant to you.

Thanks, PamelaS. I appreciate your response and thoughts. Yes, I understand what you're saying about that 'special language.' Molly and I seemed to actually carry on something of a conversation most days. I always knew for certain that she was saying something specific to me, though I didn't understand her 'words.' But, it was a conversation nonetheless. We realize, after they're gone, what an intimate part of our lives they are. I watched "Call the Midwife" last night and it was said, someone died, there were good-byes that were never said, and I burst out crying.

And yes, you're right...it's the pain of knowing that your life will never be the same without them. I find myself feeling/thinking "...what does anything matter without Molly." It really gives me pause, and makes me realize how unimportant so much else is in comparison to having had Molly in my life.

I have a pullover sweater I was knitting; it had been on the floor, next to where I had been working on it at night, though I hadn't touched it in many weeks. Molly had taken to lying on it, right next to the wall. It's probably the only thing like that, something Molly had been laying on, that I have left around the house. I will need to pick it up one day and resume working on it, but I realize that I don't want to move it. I still see Molly lying on it and somehow I don't want to give that up. So who knows when I'll be able to move it. Those little things can be SO hard, so very hard. It's hard enough losing them, but then you have to go on living in a house in which you constantly see their absence everywhere you turn.

Well, thank you again for you your thoughtfulness. I appreciate it. And, as you say, we also know and understand the feeling of deep, deep loss and pain you continue to suffer from Boogie's absence...a wound no balm seems to help.

The simplest things bring me to tears on a daily since literally everything reminds me of Boogie. I see a tiny insect crawling up the wall and all I can think of is the way Boogie would tilt his head to one side and stare at little bugs. It's difficult for me to listen to any kind of music since Boogie would begin singing the instant he heard even the faintest tune playing in the house. Preparing meals is heartbreaking since Boogie was always in the kitchen with me. There are now small flocks of migrating wild parrots flying around outside and squawking loudly in the trees, which I used to really enjoy, but now I find quite sad. The worst everyday activity for me, however, is taking a shower. 99% of the time, Boogie would sit up on the edge of the shower door or perch on the shower curtain rod and we would sing together or just make silly noises while I showered. I would also pop him under the running water for a quick birdbath. The simple act of showering is now the saddest and loneliest time for me.



I envisioned a much different life down the road, one that included my bird, but any thoughts I have about the future now all end with "Boogie won't be there." Of course I realize he would pass away at some point, but I never thought it would happen so quickly. 27 years may sound like a very long time, but for me, Boogie left way too soon.



I know what you mean. Even though we know they are gone, by changing anything that was part of our furbabies lives means we have to finally accept that they are gone, which is an extremely difficult thing to do.



Everyone who is suffering the pain of pet loss understands how we feel, and I think about that every day. It has now been a little over 7 months since Boogie's passing, and while "life does go on," there are times when it seems as if it only just happened. I'm still not used to the missing daily routine with my bird. I don't know how to describe it really...there will always be a big hole in my life from now on and I know there is nothing I can do about it. I have nowhere to focus that special love I had for Boogie and I feel lost.

Today was especially hard due to the thoughtless actions of my husband and also an incident that happened a few days after Boogie passed. I was in the backyard and I noticed a tiny bird hopping on the ground near the fence. I was watering the lawn and it didn't fly away like any normal bird would have, so I knew there was a problem. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a baby bird that had apparently fallen out of its nest. It did not appear to be injured since it was hopping through the grass, but it couldn't fly. This occurred back in October, so it was still quite chilly outside. If the bird had fallen out of the nest the day before, it would have been exposed to the cold all night, which would have definitely caused a problem for the little guy. I brought him into the house, placed him a makeshift nest and kept him as warm as possible...but he didn't make it. When I first found the bird, it lifted my spirits a bit thinking that I could possibly help the poor thing. Silly as it is, I almost had the feeling that maybe Boogie had somehow directed the baby bird into my backyard so I could find it. Needless to say, I was crushed by another bird death. Fast forward to last month when a sparrow couple decided that the overhang outside our front door would be the perfect place to build a nest. We've been watching the nest-building progress for weeks, and the sudden appearance of chirping babies was quite heartwarming. There was one thing I kept saying to my husband over and over, "Just leave them alone!" A few days ago, he used a step stool to snap a photo of the babies, no harm done, but I reminded him to stay away from the nest. Of course, "he knows what's best" so today (behind my back) he got up on the step stool again, but this time the babies (a little older now) freaked out and they all flopped to the ground and started half-hopping, half-flying around our driveway! He can't handle animal emergencies at all, so I had to run out there and try to gather up the babies. It was hard to tell how many had fallen out, and we weren't sure how many were in the nest in the first place. I found 2 right away and immediately put them back up, but it appeared another might have flown away with the mother bird and it looked like one more fell out at some point, but I didn't see it when I found the first two babies. Over the next hour I kept watching for falling babies, and that's when I saw the other one under my car. I picked it up, but it was in bad shape. It was coughing up blood and it had some bruise marks on its chest, so I assume the fall onto the driveway caused some internal injuries. I held it my hands and tried to keep it it as warm and comfortable as possible, but it was obvious the poor tiny thing wasn't going to make it. I buried it in the front yard. I've been crying all day over that baby bird, and I'm really angry at my husband who just refused listen. He does feel terrible about the bird, but if he had just left them alone in the first place all the babies would have been safe in their nest, I wouldn't have had to deal with the stress of chasing them around the yard, and I wouldn't be in tears over another dead bird. Not having a good day.

I've been particularly sad the past few days. Perhaps it was the incident with the baby bird that started me thinking so much about Boogie, but it's also my birthday this weekend and that has me really depressed. Last year I turned 50, and I thought it was going to be a really amazing year. I had planned on celebrating my 50th during the rest of 2013 and maybe even beyond, but nothing seemed to go right...and of course the worst part of all was Boogie dying just 4 months later. Now my birthday is just a reminder of the worst year of my life. My husband was planning some sort of fun even for me, like going to a baseball game, but I had to tell him I'm not in any mood to celebrate. Not only that, I just found out he was going to get me an adult conure as a surprise! I've told him so many times since Boogie died that I do NOT want another bird! That is literally the last thing I need. It took years and years for Boogie and me to bond. There's no guarantee that any other bird would even like me at all. I think he really wants a new bird, but of course I would end up taking care of it. I just don't understand what's going on in his brain.

I really can't believe it's been 10 months. I wish I could say it's easier to accept that Boogie is gone now, but I still feel like I'm in limbo. I miss him terribly and the only way I can get through the day without falling to pieces is to simply not think about him. It's truly awful, but the moment anything about Boogie begins to seep into my thoughts, I immediately become a sobbing wreck. I hate that I have to keep turning off my memories of him, but it's the only way I can function. I shared 27 years with that sweet bird, and now it seems as if it will take another 27 years to get over his death.

Pamela,

Ever since I been here I been reading people's postings and it just hurts me so much to read the way each one of us are losing them. As I was reading your story I had tears in my eyes I just can't stand to feel so down just by reading someone else experience. I'm so sorry for the loss your beloved angel boogie he was such a beautiful bird. I can't believe a lot of us have to experience the loss of our best friends. companion to such tragedy incidents. I totally understand how you are feeling now and the type of bond you share with your Boogie because I had the same relationship with my baby girl princess too. Its been 3 months since I lost my baby and I still feel devastated and hurt and I just can't seem to continue my life without her. Nobody in my family is supportive at all so this is the reason I'm in this site to see if I'm able to receive the support I need in order to help me heal. Reading everyone's story is making me feel that I'm not alone and that everyone in here is hurting from a loss of their fur-babies at some point. I'm still new and I haven't been able to respond to many postings because I'm still hurting and I don't know what to say to help others when I'm in the grief process myself. I just hope that I'm able to meet more people in here and be able to offer my support if they are whiling to accept it. Please accept my most sincere sympathy of the of your baby Boogie I know that were ever he is now he is watching over you and thinking of you too,


Hugs


~ Mayra

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts, Mayra. I really truly appreciate it. Please accept my deepest sympathies on the loss of your Princess. I'm sure it still feels as if it only just happened. I do hope as time goes on that your grief diminishes, but I know you will never stop missing your precious baby. You are definitely not alone. We are all here for you. Don't worry about trying to come up with amazing words that will ease everyone's pain. Just your kind and simple statements of sympathy mean so much to us. I hope you find some comfort here as well.

I've been missing Boogie's presence so much that I thought an Amazon parrot-shaped plush toy might help...you know, just to have something to hold in place of Boogie. I searched all over the internet, couldn't find a very realistic plush, but I did find something that was rather cute (though it's too big for an Amazon and looks more like a green penguin).

Click to view attachment Click to view attachment

Anyway, it was the closest toy I could find that resembled Boogie. I walked around the house with it for a couple of days and even slept with it one night, but it actually did the opposite of what I was hoping for. It actually made me miss him even more. Now it's just sitting on top of the box containing Boogie's ashes on the nightstand next to my bed.

October 18th will be exactly one year since Boogie passed. I'm kind of panicking as that day approaches. Life goes on, but missing Boogie hasn't become any easier.

Hi, Pamela, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing your and beloved Boogie's one year angel-versary with us. Even though the calendar indicates that the first year of grieving is acknolwedged does not mean that the sorrow of not having our companion's sweet precious physical presence with us automatically disappears. It simply means that we have endured the first year of a very painful adjustment journey. It is normal for the grief to feel more intense when an angel-versary is near at hand and upon us.

I am sorry that the toy parrot has not offered you comfort as you had hoped it would. It is understandable that what works for one person with their grief adjustment journey may not work for someone else. So it is important that you find the healthy ways of expressing your sorrow that are helpful to YOU, Pamela, and perhaps one day you will be able to share them with someone else - - perhaps on this wonderful forum or someone you know or meet in your daily life.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey, Pamela. One of the most important things for you to know is that there are no "expiration dates" or time limits here for you to come to share with us what is in your heart.

I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Boogie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Pamela, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam