Hello board,
My friend told me to check out this site as his sister read it when her dog passed.
My best friend and our first child of 12+ years died Saturday night.
He was a Choc lab and full of life to his last day. Many years ago @ the age of 3.5 yrs he developed a deteriorating nasal disease. For many months it was emotionally draining for my wife and I as he deteriorated so, was in such pain, I had to hand feed him, really take my time to take him out, etc. He went from a dog that would go absolutely crazy when we walked into our home to one that could just get enough energy to give a lil thump of the tail. We did 3 surgery’s based on what was suppose to be the top Animal Hospital in America (we lived in NY at the time) and it just got worse. Thru the grace of god we randomly spoke with someone, found a vet in Westchester country and they had a surgeon who they worked and consulted with closely …. 2 more surgery’s and a few weeks of recuperation and our boy was back like he didn’t miss a beat tho compromised some.
The disease lasted abt one year and it ate away a lot of his muscle and tissue in his nose and nasal area. For the rest of his life he would be happy and energetic but he would discharge a lot thru his nose due to lack of proper function cleaning out foreign substances. For the next 8+ years I had no problem cleaning his dried up, clogged nostrils, applying aquafor to keep it moist, etc … it was my pleasure and the least I could do for my guy who never, ever let that lil problem break his spirit. He would sneeze often and we would clean up after him but we didn’t care. We had 2 children afterward and they grew so attached to him and he loved them back …. even if it took a while for them to learn he isn’t a toy whose ears and tail are to be tugged.
This past Saturday night was normal and I took him for his walk, fed him, told him to be a good boy for the sitter, etc b4 my wife and I went out to diner. Got a call arnd 9PM-ish from the sitter that he was having a small seizure. First thought was a typical doggy dream (has had them often recently) where they freak out and she (sitter) was just nervous (first time sitting for us as well). Ask the waiter for the check but then got another call abt 5 mins later .. from everything she had told me, I new it was a seizure not a dog dream.
By the time I got home it had been going on for 30 mins and by the time I got him in the car, gave the wife a chance to just hug him and tell her she loves him, and got him to the vet/hospital it was abt an hour … doc gave me the prognosis and it wasn’t a tough decision at all. The gave him valium to really slow down the seizures so I could have my final time with him.
His temp hit 109 (probably there for awhile during that past hr), Doc told me most of his organs are likely shot (used medical terms), brain damage most likely occurred, etc … toughest was when I had my time alone with prior to him being put to rest I feel like he didn’t hear me cause it was the first time in 12+ years that I spoke in his ear and is tail didn’t wag, no lick to the face, etc .. even when he was really sick those years back I got some reaction.
12+ great years and such great memories and all I can remember for the past 3 days are his seizures from Sat night. When does that go away? Mourning is part of healing but when can I continue to mourn by remembering all the joy he brought to us and us to him? Thank you for listening
Full Version: Missing My Boy
Hi, MissingMyBoy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved companion. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
MMB, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be all too painful right now in your deep grief that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.
Clincial professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, and that the grieving process is also identical. Scientific studies prove that traumatic events we experience are continually played over and over in our memory because of the intensity of the images that we witness - - the more traumatic the event is the more our minds will replay the images - - and witnessing the final moments of our beloved companion qualifies as a traumatic event.
MMB, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief, - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. However, sometimes we need to try to find ways to "break the link" in the trauma memory. It takes a LOT of time and concentration to do it, but it is worth the effort. When you begin to find yourself thinking of the very last moments of your beloved companion's transition journey that is a painful memory for you, you must try to deliberately re-direct your thoughts to something else that is more positive. It will not be an easy process at first, but I do know from first hand experience that it does help - - as I learned this technique from a professional counselor who helped through a very difficult time due to different traumatic events in my life several years ago. Does this mean that your memory of those final moments will permanently disappear? No, for they are a part of your life. However, with time as you travel your grief adjustment journey the intensity of this traumatic memory will ease, and you will find yourself focusing more on your many treasured memories you and your beloved companion share.
MMB, please let me try to reassure you that this very deep grief sorrow will not always be this way. I promise you that one day - - probably when you least expect it - - you will find yourself thinking of your beloved companion and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and this is what your beloved companion wants for you. But it will take time for you to come to this place as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your grief adjustment journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is that the love bond you and your beloved companion share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, MMB - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the deep seering pain of our grief. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
MissingMyBoy, thank you so much for sharing your beloved companion with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
MMB, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be all too painful right now in your deep grief that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.
Clincial professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, and that the grieving process is also identical. Scientific studies prove that traumatic events we experience are continually played over and over in our memory because of the intensity of the images that we witness - - the more traumatic the event is the more our minds will replay the images - - and witnessing the final moments of our beloved companion qualifies as a traumatic event.
MMB, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief, - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. However, sometimes we need to try to find ways to "break the link" in the trauma memory. It takes a LOT of time and concentration to do it, but it is worth the effort. When you begin to find yourself thinking of the very last moments of your beloved companion's transition journey that is a painful memory for you, you must try to deliberately re-direct your thoughts to something else that is more positive. It will not be an easy process at first, but I do know from first hand experience that it does help - - as I learned this technique from a professional counselor who helped through a very difficult time due to different traumatic events in my life several years ago. Does this mean that your memory of those final moments will permanently disappear? No, for they are a part of your life. However, with time as you travel your grief adjustment journey the intensity of this traumatic memory will ease, and you will find yourself focusing more on your many treasured memories you and your beloved companion share.
MMB, please let me try to reassure you that this very deep grief sorrow will not always be this way. I promise you that one day - - probably when you least expect it - - you will find yourself thinking of your beloved companion and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and this is what your beloved companion wants for you. But it will take time for you to come to this place as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your grief adjustment journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is that the love bond you and your beloved companion share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, MMB - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the deep seering pain of our grief. Still, I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
MissingMyBoy, thank you so much for sharing your beloved companion with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Moon-beam … thank you for the kind words, support and knowledge. I am not a very religious person but do believe in god. A few things occurred over the past few weeks that I consider a sign and a gift from god.
1) The sign - My daughter left for sleep away camp exactly 2 weeks ago this past Saturday. Two days b4 she left she said if anything happens to Mason don’t tell me until I get home. We didn’t think anything so sudden would happen but we new, if anything like that happened, we would never tell her anything @ camp … maybe that was god’s sign that his time will soon be up? She comes home the 2nd week of Aug and we r having a coming home party planned for us four (have a 5 yr old son) and we are also going to incorporate a celebration of Mason’s life …. She is 9 and was really attached to that dog. I also feel that he thought if he goes now, with the time my daughter spent away from her, it will be easier for her to take the horrible news. I also thank god that she wasn’t there to witness what my wife and I did Saturday night. That would have been very traumatic for her.
2) The gift from god that has helped me was that maybe god didn’t want Mason and my wife and I to suffer. He new that Mason suffered physically at a young age prior to us finding the right dr. and ‘fixing’ him. Maybe He also new how much of an emotional rollercoaster we went thru 8 years ago and He didn’t want us to go thru that again … should we do one more procedure, she we let him go, spending so much time scouring the internet for answers and hope, etc, etc … those were all the emotions we went thru in the past. Maybe he was sick and god said I will take and protect him now so he doesn’t have to feel any pain in the future and you will not have to fight with your heart and soul over what to do about him. God said you all suffered in the past with that and now that his time is up it will be fast and your decision will be easy.
I thru away all his un-usable beds, toys, etc and have contacted a Lab rescue group close by to donate 2 full bags of dog food and some other items they said they could use .. just like Mason would want us to. My wife purchased a doggy urn for him and we are getting his collar and tags framed for my daughter. At some point my heart and mind will think of all the good times only and try to erase his last hour. Last night was the first time I grilled in my yard in 6 years w/out my buddy next to me. My eyes began to really tear up b/ I always manned the grill with beer in hand and Mason right next to me …. Sitting and starring with his floppy tongue out waiting for his goodies … favorite was a good burger and chicken.
RIP my boy and frolic with your cousins and friends, old and new, where you will have nothing but joy. I know you are looking down on us wanting us to never forget all the love and happiness we shared but also to move on and be happy in our lives.
1) The sign - My daughter left for sleep away camp exactly 2 weeks ago this past Saturday. Two days b4 she left she said if anything happens to Mason don’t tell me until I get home. We didn’t think anything so sudden would happen but we new, if anything like that happened, we would never tell her anything @ camp … maybe that was god’s sign that his time will soon be up? She comes home the 2nd week of Aug and we r having a coming home party planned for us four (have a 5 yr old son) and we are also going to incorporate a celebration of Mason’s life …. She is 9 and was really attached to that dog. I also feel that he thought if he goes now, with the time my daughter spent away from her, it will be easier for her to take the horrible news. I also thank god that she wasn’t there to witness what my wife and I did Saturday night. That would have been very traumatic for her.
2) The gift from god that has helped me was that maybe god didn’t want Mason and my wife and I to suffer. He new that Mason suffered physically at a young age prior to us finding the right dr. and ‘fixing’ him. Maybe He also new how much of an emotional rollercoaster we went thru 8 years ago and He didn’t want us to go thru that again … should we do one more procedure, she we let him go, spending so much time scouring the internet for answers and hope, etc, etc … those were all the emotions we went thru in the past. Maybe he was sick and god said I will take and protect him now so he doesn’t have to feel any pain in the future and you will not have to fight with your heart and soul over what to do about him. God said you all suffered in the past with that and now that his time is up it will be fast and your decision will be easy.
I thru away all his un-usable beds, toys, etc and have contacted a Lab rescue group close by to donate 2 full bags of dog food and some other items they said they could use .. just like Mason would want us to. My wife purchased a doggy urn for him and we are getting his collar and tags framed for my daughter. At some point my heart and mind will think of all the good times only and try to erase his last hour. Last night was the first time I grilled in my yard in 6 years w/out my buddy next to me. My eyes began to really tear up b/ I always manned the grill with beer in hand and Mason right next to me …. Sitting and starring with his floppy tongue out waiting for his goodies … favorite was a good burger and chicken.
RIP my boy and frolic with your cousins and friends, old and new, where you will have nothing but joy. I know you are looking down on us wanting us to never forget all the love and happiness we shared but also to move on and be happy in our lives.
Hi, MissingMyBoy, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your loving insights into your thoughts about your beloved Mason's transition journey home to the angels. Faith in whatever we believe is very personal, and I hope you do not perceive from what I share with you that I am attempting to "preach" to you or "convert" you. I share your belief that God intervened on behalf of your beloved Mason to try to help make his transition home to the angels as burdenless as possible to you and your family, and as peaceful as possible for your beloved Mason. This is indeed a blessing, MMB.
I can feel your heartache as you share with us about your cookout without the physical presence of your beloved Mason next to you. This is one of the many "first withouts" you will encounter in your grief adjustment journey, MMB - - but I promise you with time the deep sorrow you feel now will ease. Some people fear that as their grief eases that they will forget their beloved companion, but I promise you, MMB, this will never happen - - for you or for any member of your family.
It sounds like you and your family will have a wonderful celebration when your daughter returns home from camp - - celebrating her return and celebrating your beloved Mason's earthly journey with you. Making a special memorial with Mason's collar and tags for your daughter is a lovely way to comfort her, and it will help her to know as she gets older that ALL living creatures who share our earthly journey are worthy of being loved and remembered. Donating what you can to the rescue group will be a loving and living tribute in honor of your beloved Mason, too.
Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Mason with us, MissingMyBoy. I hope today is treating you and your family kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mason's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I can feel your heartache as you share with us about your cookout without the physical presence of your beloved Mason next to you. This is one of the many "first withouts" you will encounter in your grief adjustment journey, MMB - - but I promise you with time the deep sorrow you feel now will ease. Some people fear that as their grief eases that they will forget their beloved companion, but I promise you, MMB, this will never happen - - for you or for any member of your family.
It sounds like you and your family will have a wonderful celebration when your daughter returns home from camp - - celebrating her return and celebrating your beloved Mason's earthly journey with you. Making a special memorial with Mason's collar and tags for your daughter is a lovely way to comfort her, and it will help her to know as she gets older that ALL living creatures who share our earthly journey are worthy of being loved and remembered. Donating what you can to the rescue group will be a loving and living tribute in honor of your beloved Mason, too.
Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Mason with us, MissingMyBoy. I hope today is treating you and your family kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mason's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE (MissingMyBoy @ Jul 9 2013, 05:45 PM) 
Hello board,
My friend told me to check out this site as his sister read it when her dog passed.
My best friend and our first child of 12+ years died Saturday night.
He was a Choc lab and full of life to his last day. Many years ago @ the age of 3.5 yrs he developed a deteriorating nasal disease. For many months it was emotionally draining for my wife and I as he deteriorated so, was in such pain, I had to hand feed him, really take my time to take him out, etc. He went from a dog that would go absolutely crazy when we walked into our home to one that could just get enough energy to give a lil thump of the tail. We did 3 surgery’s based on what was suppose to be the top Animal Hospital in America (we lived in NY at the time) and it just got worse. Thru the grace of god we randomly spoke with someone, found a vet in Westchester country and they had a surgeon who they worked and consulted with closely …. 2 more surgery’s and a few weeks of recuperation and our boy was back like he didn’t miss a beat tho compromised some.
The disease lasted abt one year and it ate away a lot of his muscle and tissue in his nose and nasal area. For the rest of his life he would be happy and energetic but he would discharge a lot thru his nose due to lack of proper function cleaning out foreign substances. For the next 8+ years I had no problem cleaning his dried up, clogged nostrils, applying aquafor to keep it moist, etc … it was my pleasure and the least I could do for my guy who never, ever let that lil problem break his spirit. He would sneeze often and we would clean up after him but we didn’t care. We had 2 children afterward and they grew so attached to him and he loved them back …. even if it took a while for them to learn he isn’t a toy whose ears and tail are to be tugged.
This past Saturday night was normal and I took him for his walk, fed him, told him to be a good boy for the sitter, etc b4 my wife and I went out to diner. Got a call arnd 9PM-ish from the sitter that he was having a small seizure. First thought was a typical doggy dream (has had them often recently) where they freak out and she (sitter) was just nervous (first time sitting for us as well). Ask the waiter for the check but then got another call abt 5 mins later .. from everything she had told me, I new it was a seizure not a dog dream.
By the time I got home it had been going on for 30 mins and by the time I got him in the car, gave the wife a chance to just hug him and tell her she loves him, and got him to the vet/hospital it was abt an hour … doc gave me the prognosis and it wasn’t a tough decision at all. The gave him valium to really slow down the seizures so I could have my final time with him.
His temp hit 109 (probably there for awhile during that past hr), Doc told me most of his organs are likely shot (used medical terms), brain damage most likely occurred, etc … toughest was when I had my time alone with prior to him being put to rest I feel like he didn’t hear me cause it was the first time in 12+ years that I spoke in his ear and is tail didn’t wag, no lick to the face, etc .. even when he was really sick those years back I got some reaction.
12+ great years and such great memories and all I can remember for the past 3 days are his seizures from Sat night. When does that go away? Mourning is part of healing but when can I continue to mourn by remembering all the joy he brought to us and us to him? Thank you for listening
My friend told me to check out this site as his sister read it when her dog passed.
My best friend and our first child of 12+ years died Saturday night.
He was a Choc lab and full of life to his last day. Many years ago @ the age of 3.5 yrs he developed a deteriorating nasal disease. For many months it was emotionally draining for my wife and I as he deteriorated so, was in such pain, I had to hand feed him, really take my time to take him out, etc. He went from a dog that would go absolutely crazy when we walked into our home to one that could just get enough energy to give a lil thump of the tail. We did 3 surgery’s based on what was suppose to be the top Animal Hospital in America (we lived in NY at the time) and it just got worse. Thru the grace of god we randomly spoke with someone, found a vet in Westchester country and they had a surgeon who they worked and consulted with closely …. 2 more surgery’s and a few weeks of recuperation and our boy was back like he didn’t miss a beat tho compromised some.
The disease lasted abt one year and it ate away a lot of his muscle and tissue in his nose and nasal area. For the rest of his life he would be happy and energetic but he would discharge a lot thru his nose due to lack of proper function cleaning out foreign substances. For the next 8+ years I had no problem cleaning his dried up, clogged nostrils, applying aquafor to keep it moist, etc … it was my pleasure and the least I could do for my guy who never, ever let that lil problem break his spirit. He would sneeze often and we would clean up after him but we didn’t care. We had 2 children afterward and they grew so attached to him and he loved them back …. even if it took a while for them to learn he isn’t a toy whose ears and tail are to be tugged.
This past Saturday night was normal and I took him for his walk, fed him, told him to be a good boy for the sitter, etc b4 my wife and I went out to diner. Got a call arnd 9PM-ish from the sitter that he was having a small seizure. First thought was a typical doggy dream (has had them often recently) where they freak out and she (sitter) was just nervous (first time sitting for us as well). Ask the waiter for the check but then got another call abt 5 mins later .. from everything she had told me, I new it was a seizure not a dog dream.
By the time I got home it had been going on for 30 mins and by the time I got him in the car, gave the wife a chance to just hug him and tell her she loves him, and got him to the vet/hospital it was abt an hour … doc gave me the prognosis and it wasn’t a tough decision at all. The gave him valium to really slow down the seizures so I could have my final time with him.
His temp hit 109 (probably there for awhile during that past hr), Doc told me most of his organs are likely shot (used medical terms), brain damage most likely occurred, etc … toughest was when I had my time alone with prior to him being put to rest I feel like he didn’t hear me cause it was the first time in 12+ years that I spoke in his ear and is tail didn’t wag, no lick to the face, etc .. even when he was really sick those years back I got some reaction.
12+ great years and such great memories and all I can remember for the past 3 days are his seizures from Sat night. When does that go away? Mourning is part of healing but when can I continue to mourn by remembering all the joy he brought to us and us to him? Thank you for listening
Hi I a new but so sorry to hear about your doggie. That is almost what happened to me my dog got sick on a Thursday nite and by Friday morning was gone I had a few minutes with him but he was almost. Gone. I hugged him. He looked at me and I hugged him and told him to go rest I would see him at the rainbow bridge. He sighed 3. Times and wS gone. Spleen cancer. I keep reliving it tool especially at night. You precious dog had wonderful owners and a great life. It will be easier one day to,think about the good time. He was a blessed dog and you did all,you could. It is so hard they are our babies.
So it has been 12 days and it seems to be getting a lil easier. My wife and I talk of him often and we constantly find our selves doing things that we would when he was around … cutting up din and looking for him to feed the scraps, going to the farmers mkt this weekend and almost found my self purchasing all the things I needed to prepare his food for the week (had him on a raw all natural diet), walks in the park where he could frolic off leash on the trail, grilling, etc, etc … This weekend she began to ball when she opened our SUV trunk and remember how mason would get so excited when he got to travel and enjoy life with us … the trunk in the SUV was like his second home as we are a fairly active family. Going to fish this weekend and I used to take him. Going to miss him splashing in the water and that curious yet adorable look on his face (tilted head and all) when I pull one out of the h20.
We miss him terribly but the tears are less and have become watered eyes more or less and the good memories are more (slowly trying to forget the last hour with him) tho they still make my water up. I feel like I have gotten over the big mourning hump as the trials of everyday life take up more space in my mind. When I reflect I feel fortunate for the love and loyalty he gave my family and that god didn’t make him suffer (read that most animals, humans included, don’t feel much if they seizure) and make my family suffer with decisions that so many pet owners struggle with
Moon_beam …. Didn’t think you preached or “tried to convert” in the least. In my post I just thought it was something higher giving signs and/or looking down on us. I guess I used the words “im not a religious man” because I have heard of many signs from above but never experienced it and I'm not that religious. Tho I may not be very religious I am very tolerant of religious people and respect them a lot.
We miss him terribly but the tears are less and have become watered eyes more or less and the good memories are more (slowly trying to forget the last hour with him) tho they still make my water up. I feel like I have gotten over the big mourning hump as the trials of everyday life take up more space in my mind. When I reflect I feel fortunate for the love and loyalty he gave my family and that god didn’t make him suffer (read that most animals, humans included, don’t feel much if they seizure) and make my family suffer with decisions that so many pet owners struggle with
Moon_beam …. Didn’t think you preached or “tried to convert” in the least. In my post I just thought it was something higher giving signs and/or looking down on us. I guess I used the words “im not a religious man” because I have heard of many signs from above but never experienced it and I'm not that religious. Tho I may not be very religious I am very tolerant of religious people and respect them a lot.
QUOTE (Lindi @ Jul 14 2013, 02:21 AM)
Hi I a new but so sorry to hear about your doggie. That is almost what happened to me my dog got sick on a Thursday nite and by Friday morning was gone I had a few minutes with him but he was almost. Gone. I hugged him. He looked at me and I hugged him and told him to go rest I would see him at the rainbow bridge. He sighed 3. Times and wS gone. Spleen cancer. I keep reliving it tool especially at night. You precious dog had wonderful owners and a great life. It will be easier one day to,think about the good time. He was a blessed dog and you did all,you could. It is so hard they are our babies.
Hi Lindi, the last sad moments seem to leave over time as all the joy you and yours brought to each other fill up more space in your mind, I promise but it is hard. Keeping yourself busy is impt and the evenings are tough but just try your hardest to fill your head with all the wonderful things your friend brought to you. This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.