I've never posted anything in my life but felt the need to re: death of my baby girl, Juicy. I need help and support from others who loved their furry kids more than they ever thought possible.
I needed to board my two girls over the May 4th weekend due to an out of state wedding and having two furry girls along with my daughter, age 5, was going to be too much for me. Although boarding Juicy had nothing to do with her death, it was 4 days less that I got to spend with her. My husband picked up Juicy and Xanax (her newly adopted sister just 2 weeks prior) from the boarders on Monday, took them home, and after seeing blood in Juicy's urine and noticing her lack of energy, he rushed her to our vets, where we were advised and immediately rushed her to the ER six weeks ago....Monday, May 6th.
Juicy was diagnosed with IMHA. After spending 4 nights in the ER, with every major drug possible and into her 4th transfusion, Juicy suffered a blood clot in her lungs, went into cardiac arrest, and was held on a ventilator until I could get to the ER. In the meantime, (unbeknownst to me cause I'm driving like bat~~ in LA traffic) she had suffered a second cardiac arrest, and after 30 minutes of CPR, the doctors stopped resuscitation efforts.
I was two blocks away when the doctor called and said she passed away. My life since May 10th has not been the same. I have broken down sobbing day after day while trying to care for my family and tending to my daughter's gymnastics meets, dance recitals, pre-k graduation. Through all of this, I've been doing it alone without any help. (My husband was on a 23 day work trip and I don't have family close by nor hired help.) Besides all of that, my heart is broken and my thoughts are constantly filled with Juicy.
I don't understand and will never reconcile how a young, healthy, vibrant Irish Jack Russell fell ill and passed away 4 days later. While I researched IMHA day and night Juicy was in the ER, it never crossed my mind she wouldn't make it. And I'm beyond devastated..... I feel as though everyone else has moved on except for myself. I never realized and valued her true essence, the major role she played in this family....in my life. And I'm not sure where to go from here. Other than to the Kleenex box.
I hate that I never got to say goodbye to her. I hate that she died on a table surrounded by people she didn't know. I hate that she was alone!!!! I feel like a terrible mother and even though the outcome wouldn't have been different, I feel terrible I have no idea what was going on in those last minutes and never will. I hate that when I left her on Thursday night at 10:30pm, it would be my last time ever holding my Juicy girl.
I know I need to see a pet grief therapist...I just barely have any energy to care for and be present for my daughter. How does one move on when plagued with so much hurt, anger, confusion, overwhelming sadness, and guilt? I say guilt bc I had Juicy first, then my daughter came along, and the attention was nowhere near what she got for the 14+ months....
Distraught, sobbing, and so so sad....
Lisa
Full Version: Juicy Passed On May 10, 2013 And I'm Still Sobbing
Hi, Lisa, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Juicy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing them so unexpectedly - - and mind you, no one can ever truly be "prepared" for the physical loss of a beloved companion regardless of age or medical status - - intensifies the grief.
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief -- very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Sadly, though, our society in general, including some of the people who are the closest to us both emotionally and geographically, do not accept this. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here - - to be a safe place where each of us can come to share what is in our hearts with people who truly DO understand the deep sorrow of our deepest grief.
As you are already discovering, Lisa, this grief journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - it is a journey that cannot be reconciled in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and what are now very piercing memories of "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year", etc., to endure.
However, I promise you that your heart will not always be entrenched in this deep seering pain of sorrow, Lisa. Eventually you will begin to notice that you are not crying as frequently, and that the very sad moments of missing your beloved Juicy's sweet physical presence are also not as frequent or overwhelming. This is GOOD - - for this means that as your deep sorrow eases your heart will once again be able to embrace the warmth of the many treasured memories you have of your beloved Juicy - - and this is what she wants for you, Lisa. I promise you one day this will come for you, but it will take time. Some people do find it helpful to seek counseling - - perhaps if there are any grief support groups sponsored through your local humane society. If you seek individual counseling to help you through your grief, please try to make sure that the counselor has special training for helping people through the physical loss of a beloved companion, as not all counselors have compassionate empathy for these clients.
Lisa, from what you share with us there is no doubt that you did your very best to give your beloved Juicy a happy, healthy earthly journey. Unfortunately we are mere mortals - - we are not gifted with foreknowledge of the future - - or even of how events are taking place in the present beyond where we are at a specific moment. I hope in time you will be able to find peace in your heart that your beloved Juicy did not transition home to the angels alone - - she felt your love surrounding her - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. And your beloved Juicy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Lisa - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And because of the deep love bond you share, she never felt neglected for the love bond you and your beloved Juicy share is always present at all times and in all circumstances.
From first hand experience I do so know that when our hearts are in deep grief that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. I can only hope the words I do share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are NOT alone - - each of us here DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
If I may take a moment to mention about your daughter - - clinical professionals recognize now that children grieve differently from adults. There are several good books for children on the physical loss of a beloved family companion, and you may want to check them out to see if one, or more, may be helpful for you and your daughter to read together. It is important that your daughter sees your sorrow for Juicy - - for this will help her to develop compassion in her heart for the rest of her life. And it will also help her to understand that grief is not just isolated for the physical loss of a human family member or friend - - that ALL creatures great and small have a place in our hearts and love.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Juicy with us, Lisa. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief -- very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Sadly, though, our society in general, including some of the people who are the closest to us both emotionally and geographically, do not accept this. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here - - to be a safe place where each of us can come to share what is in our hearts with people who truly DO understand the deep sorrow of our deepest grief.
As you are already discovering, Lisa, this grief journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - it is a journey that cannot be reconciled in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and what are now very piercing memories of "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year", etc., to endure.
However, I promise you that your heart will not always be entrenched in this deep seering pain of sorrow, Lisa. Eventually you will begin to notice that you are not crying as frequently, and that the very sad moments of missing your beloved Juicy's sweet physical presence are also not as frequent or overwhelming. This is GOOD - - for this means that as your deep sorrow eases your heart will once again be able to embrace the warmth of the many treasured memories you have of your beloved Juicy - - and this is what she wants for you, Lisa. I promise you one day this will come for you, but it will take time. Some people do find it helpful to seek counseling - - perhaps if there are any grief support groups sponsored through your local humane society. If you seek individual counseling to help you through your grief, please try to make sure that the counselor has special training for helping people through the physical loss of a beloved companion, as not all counselors have compassionate empathy for these clients.
Lisa, from what you share with us there is no doubt that you did your very best to give your beloved Juicy a happy, healthy earthly journey. Unfortunately we are mere mortals - - we are not gifted with foreknowledge of the future - - or even of how events are taking place in the present beyond where we are at a specific moment. I hope in time you will be able to find peace in your heart that your beloved Juicy did not transition home to the angels alone - - she felt your love surrounding her - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. And your beloved Juicy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Lisa - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And because of the deep love bond you share, she never felt neglected for the love bond you and your beloved Juicy share is always present at all times and in all circumstances.
From first hand experience I do so know that when our hearts are in deep grief that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. I can only hope the words I do share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are NOT alone - - each of us here DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
If I may take a moment to mention about your daughter - - clinical professionals recognize now that children grieve differently from adults. There are several good books for children on the physical loss of a beloved family companion, and you may want to check them out to see if one, or more, may be helpful for you and your daughter to read together. It is important that your daughter sees your sorrow for Juicy - - for this will help her to develop compassion in her heart for the rest of her life. And it will also help her to understand that grief is not just isolated for the physical loss of a human family member or friend - - that ALL creatures great and small have a place in our hearts and love.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Juicy with us, Lisa. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you....I've read your responses to so many other parents and your words are very comforting during this time. I truly appreciate you taking the time to respond. I have 1000 and 1000's of pictures of Juicy....but I don't think anyone really cares. I will continue my search for a therapist and for a pet medium as well. If I could only know that Juicy is okay, it would help me tremendously. Again, thank you so very much.
QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jun 18 2013, 07:25 AM) 
Hi, Lisa, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Juicy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing them so unexpectedly - - and mind you, no one can ever truly be "prepared" for the physical loss of a beloved companion regardless of age or medical status - - intensifies the grief.
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief -- very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Sadly, though, our society in general, including some of the people who are the closest to us both emotionally and geographically, do not accept this. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here - - to be a safe place where each of us can come to share what is in our hearts with people who truly DO understand the deep sorrow of our deepest grief.
As you are already discovering, Lisa, this grief journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - it is a journey that cannot be reconciled in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and what are now very piercing memories of "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year", etc., to endure.
However, I promise you that your heart will not always be entrenched in this deep seering pain of sorrow, Lisa. Eventually you will begin to notice that you are not crying as frequently, and that the very sad moments of missing your beloved Juicy's sweet physical presence are also not as frequent or overwhelming. This is GOOD - - for this means that as your deep sorrow eases your heart will once again be able to embrace the warmth of the many treasured memories you have of your beloved Juicy - - and this is what she wants for you, Lisa. I promise you one day this will come for you, but it will take time. Some people do find it helpful to seek counseling - - perhaps if there are any grief support groups sponsored through your local humane society. If you seek individual counseling to help you through your grief, please try to make sure that the counselor has special training for helping people through the physical loss of a beloved companion, as not all counselors have compassionate empathy for these clients.
Lisa, from what you share with us there is no doubt that you did your very best to give your beloved Juicy a happy, healthy earthly journey. Unfortunately we are mere mortals - - we are not gifted with foreknowledge of the future - - or even of how events are taking place in the present beyond where we are at a specific moment. I hope in time you will be able to find peace in your heart that your beloved Juicy did not transition home to the angels alone - - she felt your love surrounding her - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. And your beloved Juicy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Lisa - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And because of the deep love bond you share, she never felt neglected for the love bond you and your beloved Juicy share is always present at all times and in all circumstances.
From first hand experience I do so know that when our hearts are in deep grief that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. I can only hope the words I do share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are NOT alone - - each of us here DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
If I may take a moment to mention about your daughter - - clinical professionals recognize now that children grieve differently from adults. There are several good books for children on the physical loss of a beloved family companion, and you may want to check them out to see if one, or more, may be helpful for you and your daughter to read together. It is important that your daughter sees your sorrow for Juicy - - for this will help her to develop compassion in her heart for the rest of her life. And it will also help her to understand that grief is not just isolated for the physical loss of a human family member or friend - - that ALL creatures great and small have a place in our hearts and love.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Juicy with us, Lisa. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief -- very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Sadly, though, our society in general, including some of the people who are the closest to us both emotionally and geographically, do not accept this. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here - - to be a safe place where each of us can come to share what is in our hearts with people who truly DO understand the deep sorrow of our deepest grief.
As you are already discovering, Lisa, this grief journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time - - it is a journey that cannot be reconciled in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and what are now very piercing memories of "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year", etc., to endure.
However, I promise you that your heart will not always be entrenched in this deep seering pain of sorrow, Lisa. Eventually you will begin to notice that you are not crying as frequently, and that the very sad moments of missing your beloved Juicy's sweet physical presence are also not as frequent or overwhelming. This is GOOD - - for this means that as your deep sorrow eases your heart will once again be able to embrace the warmth of the many treasured memories you have of your beloved Juicy - - and this is what she wants for you, Lisa. I promise you one day this will come for you, but it will take time. Some people do find it helpful to seek counseling - - perhaps if there are any grief support groups sponsored through your local humane society. If you seek individual counseling to help you through your grief, please try to make sure that the counselor has special training for helping people through the physical loss of a beloved companion, as not all counselors have compassionate empathy for these clients.
Lisa, from what you share with us there is no doubt that you did your very best to give your beloved Juicy a happy, healthy earthly journey. Unfortunately we are mere mortals - - we are not gifted with foreknowledge of the future - - or even of how events are taking place in the present beyond where we are at a specific moment. I hope in time you will be able to find peace in your heart that your beloved Juicy did not transition home to the angels alone - - she felt your love surrounding her - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. And your beloved Juicy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Lisa - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. And because of the deep love bond you share, she never felt neglected for the love bond you and your beloved Juicy share is always present at all times and in all circumstances.
From first hand experience I do so know that when our hearts are in deep grief that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. I can only hope the words I do share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are NOT alone - - each of us here DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
If I may take a moment to mention about your daughter - - clinical professionals recognize now that children grieve differently from adults. There are several good books for children on the physical loss of a beloved family companion, and you may want to check them out to see if one, or more, may be helpful for you and your daughter to read together. It is important that your daughter sees your sorrow for Juicy - - for this will help her to develop compassion in her heart for the rest of her life. And it will also help her to understand that grief is not just isolated for the physical loss of a human family member or friend - - that ALL creatures great and small have a place in our hearts and love.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Juicy with us, Lisa. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
It's Been 8 weeks since Juicy has passed. We've celebrated her 8th birthday on June 26th and while she wasn't with us physically, it didn't stop my daughter and I from doing what we would've done in years past. I think and look at her pictures all the time. It's almost like my mind is obsessed for fear of forgetting or not caring. As summer moves along, the sadness does as well. Family vacations that we took her on, sitting in the hot sun throwing tennis balls to her over and over, sharing my bottle water with her.....it doesn't end. I opened a box the other day and it was filled with clothes, necklaces, collars from when Juicy was a baby. Yes, I was that crazy dog owner who put her in clothes. I'm so thankful to have so many pictures of her in all her clothing and of course, when she no longer needed the clothes. While it brings back so many memories, it also reminds me of how much I did love this little girl. And that is also comforting. I hope my Juicy girl is in heaven, happy, playing ball, and also remembering how much her mom and dad love and miss her.
Hi, Lisa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of you and your beloved Juicy. She is so adorable, and you can see in her eyes how much she knows she is loved.
I am so smiling with you as you share your memories of her with us. Your beloved Juicy does know how much you and your husband love her, Lisa, and she is sharing all her treasured memories of her earthly journey with you with all the beloved companions and angels in heaven's perfect garden.
Some people fear that as time eases the deep sorrow of losing their beloved companion's precious physical presence that they will forget them. Please let me try to reassure you, Lisa, that this is impossible. Even these many decades beyond my days as a very young girl I can still remember my beloved companions of younger years, and they are as fresh and vibrant in my memories now even though I am very much older. I promise you, Lisa, that no matter how much time passes as you continue with your earthly journey, every time you remember your beloved Juicy her sweet Living Spirit is right there with you - - even when she isn't at the forefront of your thoughts and memories her sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, Lisa. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Juicy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so smiling with you as you share your memories of her with us. Your beloved Juicy does know how much you and your husband love her, Lisa, and she is sharing all her treasured memories of her earthly journey with you with all the beloved companions and angels in heaven's perfect garden.
Some people fear that as time eases the deep sorrow of losing their beloved companion's precious physical presence that they will forget them. Please let me try to reassure you, Lisa, that this is impossible. Even these many decades beyond my days as a very young girl I can still remember my beloved companions of younger years, and they are as fresh and vibrant in my memories now even though I am very much older. I promise you, Lisa, that no matter how much time passes as you continue with your earthly journey, every time you remember your beloved Juicy her sweet Living Spirit is right there with you - - even when she isn't at the forefront of your thoughts and memories her sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, Lisa. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Juicy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lisa, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE (Lnp0810 @ Jun 17 2013, 08:47 PM)
I've never posted anything in my life but felt the need to re: death of my baby girl, Juicy. I need help and support from others who loved their furry kids more than they ever thought possible.
I needed to board my two girls over the May 4th weekend due to an out of state wedding and having two furry girls along with my daughter, age 5, was going to be too much for me. Although boarding Juicy had nothing to do with her death, it was 4 days less that I got to spend with her. My husband picked up Juicy and Xanax (her newly adopted sister just 2 weeks prior) from the boarders on Monday, took them home, and after seeing blood in Juicy's urine and noticing her lack of energy, he rushed her to our vets, where we were advised and immediately rushed her to the ER six weeks ago....Monday, May 6th.
Juicy was diagnosed with IMHA. After spending 4 nights in the ER, with every major drug possible and into her 4th transfusion, Juicy suffered a blood clot in her lungs, went into cardiac arrest, and was held on a ventilator until I could get to the ER. In the meantime, (unbeknownst to me cause I'm driving like bat~~ in LA traffic) she had suffered a second cardiac arrest, and after 30 minutes of CPR, the doctors stopped resuscitation efforts.
I was two blocks away when the doctor called and said she passed away. My life since May 10th has not been the same. I have broken down sobbing day after day while trying to care for my family and tending to my daughter's gymnastics meets, dance recitals, pre-k graduation. Through all of this, I've been doing it alone without any help. (My husband was on a 23 day work trip and I don't have family close by nor hired help.) Besides all of that, my heart is broken and my thoughts are constantly filled with Juicy.
I don't understand and will never reconcile how a young, healthy, vibrant Irish Jack Russell fell ill and passed away 4 days later. While I researched IMHA day and night Juicy was in the ER, it never crossed my mind she wouldn't make it. And I'm beyond devastated..... I feel as though everyone else has moved on except for myself. I never realized and valued her true essence, the major role she played in this family....in my life. And I'm not sure where to go from here. Other than to the Kleenex box.
I hate that I never got to say goodbye to her. I hate that she died on a table surrounded by people she didn't know. I hate that she was alone!!!! I feel like a terrible mother and even though the outcome wouldn't have been different, I feel terrible I have no idea what was going on in those last minutes and never will. I hate that when I left her on Thursday night at 10:30pm, it would be my last time ever holding my Juicy girl.
I know I need to see a pet grief therapist...I just barely have any energy to care for and be present for my daughter. How does one move on when plagued with so much hurt, anger, confusion, overwhelming sadness, and guilt? I say guilt bc I had Juicy first, then my daughter came along, and the attention was nowhere near what she got for the 14+ months....
Distraught, sobbing, and so so sad....
Lisa
I needed to board my two girls over the May 4th weekend due to an out of state wedding and having two furry girls along with my daughter, age 5, was going to be too much for me. Although boarding Juicy had nothing to do with her death, it was 4 days less that I got to spend with her. My husband picked up Juicy and Xanax (her newly adopted sister just 2 weeks prior) from the boarders on Monday, took them home, and after seeing blood in Juicy's urine and noticing her lack of energy, he rushed her to our vets, where we were advised and immediately rushed her to the ER six weeks ago....Monday, May 6th.
Juicy was diagnosed with IMHA. After spending 4 nights in the ER, with every major drug possible and into her 4th transfusion, Juicy suffered a blood clot in her lungs, went into cardiac arrest, and was held on a ventilator until I could get to the ER. In the meantime, (unbeknownst to me cause I'm driving like bat~~ in LA traffic) she had suffered a second cardiac arrest, and after 30 minutes of CPR, the doctors stopped resuscitation efforts.
I was two blocks away when the doctor called and said she passed away. My life since May 10th has not been the same. I have broken down sobbing day after day while trying to care for my family and tending to my daughter's gymnastics meets, dance recitals, pre-k graduation. Through all of this, I've been doing it alone without any help. (My husband was on a 23 day work trip and I don't have family close by nor hired help.) Besides all of that, my heart is broken and my thoughts are constantly filled with Juicy.
I don't understand and will never reconcile how a young, healthy, vibrant Irish Jack Russell fell ill and passed away 4 days later. While I researched IMHA day and night Juicy was in the ER, it never crossed my mind she wouldn't make it. And I'm beyond devastated..... I feel as though everyone else has moved on except for myself. I never realized and valued her true essence, the major role she played in this family....in my life. And I'm not sure where to go from here. Other than to the Kleenex box.
I hate that I never got to say goodbye to her. I hate that she died on a table surrounded by people she didn't know. I hate that she was alone!!!! I feel like a terrible mother and even though the outcome wouldn't have been different, I feel terrible I have no idea what was going on in those last minutes and never will. I hate that when I left her on Thursday night at 10:30pm, it would be my last time ever holding my Juicy girl.
I know I need to see a pet grief therapist...I just barely have any energy to care for and be present for my daughter. How does one move on when plagued with so much hurt, anger, confusion, overwhelming sadness, and guilt? I say guilt bc I had Juicy first, then my daughter came along, and the attention was nowhere near what she got for the 14+ months....
Distraught, sobbing, and so so sad....
Lisa
I am so sorry and I understand how you feel. I lost my Nibbler in one days time due to spleen cancer it was in dec ans it is still so fresh on my mind. You just went thru this so it is so vivid to you. I think of my Nibbler everyday and night I wish it wouldhave been differnt I was with him but. He was only 6 and I thought he would be with me for many years he was my cuddle buddy. I keep reliving those last moments. It is soooo sooooo sad. You have to give yourself time to grieve. This was a member of your family. I wish we could all have our babies back. It will get easier but I don't think it will e Ed go away I I am new here but a good listener . Let me know how u are I understand how you feel many people don't true animal people do I'm glad to.listen anytime.
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