Ten grief stricken days 27.02.13 since Simba went to sleep whilst going through the turmoil of emotions that comes with dealing with I had to go to the local hospital last night to watch vigil with my husband as my elderly mother in law lay dying & died from a blood clot in her lungs. As you can imagine it was a dreadful journey home & weighted ever since being in the reality that Simba is not around for us to draw comfort from each other because me & my husband are not just mourning for Simba but my mum in law.

Seems like some perverse joke played from above, when a similar happened almost exactly 3 years ago to the day to my father in law, at least Simba was there so we could focus our love & attention on him & he would be there with his feline smile & cuddles to soothe each other all the more. I am not in any way comparing a human death to a to an animal death, indeed it has to be said I was more close in relationship to Simba because he was my close constant companion, his not being here has made everything seem much more so unbearable, because no matter what happened I had at least him to focus on & his needs, making him happy gave me joy, but the past 2 weeks or so has made him passing away worse & compounded the grief to an unbearable point. I was in tears because i feel Simba would have known how to distract us & deal with our grief, sat here now feeling that I have been left behind, not angry at Simba that would be unfair, but bereft in despair because he would know how deal with us simply by his presence, but thats is not possible, even started feeling ill with a very bad cold, hardly sleeping & eating. When will these dark days end?

Hi, gravessa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. You are right when you share with us there is no comparison between the deep sorrow of losing the physical presence of a beloved companion and losing a human family member or friend. Each experience is unique. The physical loss of your mother-in-law is deeply sad all by its own nature, but this loss so close to your beloved Simba will naturally intensify your grief.

But please let me try to offer you some words of comfort and encouragement that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief, and unfortunately the only way to travel this grief journey is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your time. Unfortunately there is no fast forward or delete button you can press to speed up the process or make it magically disappear.

The physical symptoms you are feeling are also very normal for deep grief - - insomnia, lack of appetite, etc.. It takes a great deal of energy to grieve, and the stress of grieving also compromises the immune system which is contributing to your feeling ill with a bad cold. It is extremely important that you try to get plenty of rest and drink liquids. If you don't feel like eating a "normal" meal, that's okay - - but it is important that you drink plenty of liquids to keep yourself hydrated - - even if it's a cup of broth several times during the day.

And most of all it is imperative that you know you are not alone in your grief journey. I thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, gravessa. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks again moonbeam, Friday morning there was just the slightest glimmer of being able to cope until my husband sent me a text message about my mum in law. After that it felt as though it was back to day 1. It was a real knock back. I have been trying to keep busy even though it is very hard & painful especially doing the hoovering - just with every hair of Simba's is being picked up by the hoover I am in some way removing his existence from the house in particular his favorite resting spots, making me not just hurt but making me feel guilty. Do not expect to get over the grief in flash, just doing what I can day by day, hour by hour whilst still trying to support my husband & son with their grief. Their grief has magnified & polarized my grief for Simba. I found Simba 's silver collar last night & have kept it with me since being the nearest thing I have to touching him.

Being mother's day my son being away sent me an email with a collection of pictures & short videos of Simba looking so happy, it was the best gift he has ever sent me, I could not thank him enough it brought back so many happy memories even though I would gladly trade them to have Simba with us here again!!

Hi, gravessa, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Once again please permit to try to offer you some words of comfort and encouragement in your grief journey.

What you are feeling is very normal when you share with us: "I have been trying to keep busy even though it is very hard & painful especially doing the hoovering - just with every hair of Simba's is being picked up by the hoover I am in some way removing his existence from the house in particular his favorite resting spots, making me not just hurt but making me feel guilty." Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal. Some people collect the fur they come across and put it in a plastic baggie to keep so that they can feel their companion's fur when they need to "touch" him / her again. It helps, as I have done this, too.

But please let me try to reassure you that you are NOT removing your beloved Simba's existence from your home. Yes, eventually the residue of his fur may become less obvious, but I promise you, gravess, your beloved Simba's sweet Living Spirit will ALWAYS be alive and well in your home - - wherever your home may be - - because he is always and forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do.

But right now it is hard to embrace this because your heart is filled with deep sorrow. I hope and pray that as your deep grief eases that you will be able to come to know the comfort of your beloved Simba's sweet Living Spirit always with you.

I can feel your joy as you share with us about your son sending you the e-mail of Simba's earthly journey with you. This is a very special gift indeed, and I know you will always cherish it.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Simba with us, gravessa. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Simba's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear gravessa,

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Simba and your Mother-in-law especially so close together.....I had a similar experience a few years ago. We were expecting our dog to die because she wasn't well, but a very close relative died first that Feb. and our dog the next month.....Mickey also died within a year of a very close relative, but he was here another year to help comfort us.

Take care, gravessa, and take one day at a time.

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Thank you for your very kind words of support, it means a great deal to me, like me you have been knocked sideways twice. It good to have a website like this to find comfort & share not only our grief but also to remember the good memories & unconditional love we shared with our soul mates which we all have in common here. Like us they are individuals who not only had love for us & are loved by us still, they had feelings as much as we do & we wove our lives in theirs & they did in ours & that cannot ever be undone. I hold on the god given hope that we, whoever we are, will never be separated again when the time comes & that this separation is a test of that love & the grief is the ultimate proof of the love we shared together.

Gratitude & hugs
gravessa