Full Version: Need Support From People Who Feel The Same As Me!
I lost my baby on monday 14th of january 2013, It was awful circumstances, i was told she had kennel cough, a month before she died, i paid out money to treat her with aintibiotics and advocat, she was ok but the week before she died she went downhill, she stopped wanting to go out or eat and was constantly coughing so i carried her to the vets on the monday she was given three injections and i got sent to the main vets to have her chest x-rayed, i had to leave her there and wait for them to call which was heart breaking, then at half 1 i got a call from the vets to say she had tumours all over her left lung which were squashing her windpipe making it difficult for her to breath, and there was and there was nothing that could be done and she died in my arms from euthanasia 4 hours later, i am truly heartbroken, she was everything to me my whole world infact and it was always just me, her and the cat, now its just me and the cat who is also finding this very difficult, i honestly thought my dog had kennel cough not lung cancer and i feel awful that because the vet thought this too, my poor dog on all three occasions (one of which was for over an hour) was made to wait outside with me in the cold, for the vet to see her incase she gave her kennel cough to another dog. I am just completely lost and to make matters worse it hasn't even been two weeks since i lost her and my mum is already telling me that she understands but i should try to move on and stop writing how im feeling on my posts on facebook incase people get sick of me talking about it, im trying so hard to get on with my life and stop being depressed i even tried talking about my sadness yesterday to my mum and she just changed the subject like she was pissed off me talking about it, I just decided bottling it up really doesn't help i just sink further into depression so i thought it might be a good idea to talk to people who are going through the same as me, its comforting to know your not alone. and lastly but most importantly R.I.P Bayleigh Baby 18/11/2004 - 14/01/2013 ***x mummy loves your forever ***x
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that pain that you are going thru, I went through it over three years ago when I lost my soul mate Callaway. I thought I was going to die from the pain but thanks to this website, some wonderful family and friends, and seeing a counselor I made it through. I still miss Callaway very much and always will but the pain from losing him has lessened and I want you to know that things do get better. You definitely need to talk about your loss, if your mum won't listen, find a friend that will, if you don't have a friend that understands, come here and express your feelings. I highly suggest seeing a counselor if the pain is too much to handle, I saw one for two years and it changed my life.
What kind of dog was Bayleigh? Do you have any pictures you can share?
What kind of dog was Bayleigh? Do you have any pictures you can share?
QUOTE (Bayleigh's Mummy @ Jan 22 2013, 05:46 PM) 
I lost my baby on monday 14th of january 2013, It was awful circumstances, i was told she had kennel cough, a month before she died, i paid out money to treat her with aintibiotics and advocat, she was ok but the week before she died she went downhill, she stopped wanting to go out or eat and was constantly coughing so i carried her to the vets on the monday she was given three injections and i got sent to the main vets to have her chest x-rayed, i had to leave her there and wait for them to call which was heart breaking, then at half 1 i got a call from the vets to say she had tumours all over her left lung which were squashing her windpipe making it difficult for her to breath, and there was and there was nothing that could be done and she died in my arms from euthanasia 4 hours later, i am truly heartbroken, she was everything to me my whole world infact and it was always just me, her and the cat, now its just me and the cat who is also finding this very difficult, i honestly thought my dog had kennel cough not lung cancer and i feel awful that because the vet thought this too, my poor dog on all three occasions (one of which was for over an hour) was made to wait outside with me in the cold, for the vet to see her incase she gave her kennel cough to another dog. I am just completely lost and to make matters worse it hasn't even been two weeks since i lost her and my mum is already telling me that she understands but i should try to move on and stop writing how im feeling on my posts on facebook incase people get sick of me talking about it, im trying so hard to get on with my life and stop being depressed i even tried talking about my sadness yesterday to my mum and she just changed the subject like she was pissed off me talking about it, I just decided bottling it up really doesn't help i just sink further into depression so i thought it might be a good idea to talk to people who are going through the same as me, its comforting to know your not alone. and lastly but most importantly R.I.P Bayleigh Baby 18/11/2004 - 14/01/2013 ***x mummy loves your forever ***x
Hi, Bayleigh's Mummy, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Bayleigh. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Bayleigh's Mummy, please let me try to offer you some comfort and reassurance that what you are going through in your grief journey is very normal - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. There are many different emotions we experience in grief which can overwhelm us all at one time - - this grief journey is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride.
Although clinical professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, unfortunately society in general - - and sadly sometimes the people who are the closest to us both geographically and emotionally - - do not. You are now on a very difficult adjustment journey to the physical absence of your beloved Bayleigh, and will now endure a journey of all the "first withouts" (the first hour, first day, first week, first month, first birthday, first holiday, first vacation, and on and on and on), and reconciling the questions "why" and "what if" and so forth. This grief journey does not reconcile in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months, Bayeligh's Mummy. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time.
I am relieved to know that you realize that suppressing your grief is not healthy, as you share with us: "I just decided bottling it up really doesn't help i just sink further into depression so i thought it might be a good idea to talk to people who are going through the same as me, its comforting to know your not alone." Clinical professionals recognize that suppressed grief does not relieve the deep grief in our hearts, but rather intensifies it - - and at some point in time will need to be dealt with - - sometimes with serious medical and emotional symptoms. Scientific studies prove that the tears we shed are literally healing tears, for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up in our bodies from the stress of grief. So, please allow yourself the opportunities you need to express your deep sorrow, Bayleigh's Mummy - - even if it's in the privacy of your room at home, or the restroom at work. And if you are out shopping and see something that reminds you of your beloved Bayleigh and you find yourself openly crying, please do not be embarrassed or ashamed - - this is very, very normal. For awhile you will find that you have little control over your emotions - - this is a natural part of the grief journey, Bayleigh's Mummy. Anyone who criticizes you for your tears is the one who needs the pity for they have never allowed themselves to open their hearts to the purest love we know on this side of eternity - - the unconditional love and devotion of a beloved companion.
The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is the reality that the love bond you and your beloved Bayleigh share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as she always has and always will. No matter how much time passes in your earthly journey, your beloved Bayleigh is always and forever a part of your heart and your memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know there are no adquate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart, Bayleigh's Mummy. I can only hope and pray that the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone - - each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Bayleigh with us, Bayleigh's Mummy. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your precious feline companion are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Bayleigh's Mummy, please let me try to offer you some comfort and reassurance that what you are going through in your grief journey is very normal - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. There are many different emotions we experience in grief which can overwhelm us all at one time - - this grief journey is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride.
Although clinical professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, unfortunately society in general - - and sadly sometimes the people who are the closest to us both geographically and emotionally - - do not. You are now on a very difficult adjustment journey to the physical absence of your beloved Bayleigh, and will now endure a journey of all the "first withouts" (the first hour, first day, first week, first month, first birthday, first holiday, first vacation, and on and on and on), and reconciling the questions "why" and "what if" and so forth. This grief journey does not reconcile in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months, Bayeligh's Mummy. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time.
I am relieved to know that you realize that suppressing your grief is not healthy, as you share with us: "I just decided bottling it up really doesn't help i just sink further into depression so i thought it might be a good idea to talk to people who are going through the same as me, its comforting to know your not alone." Clinical professionals recognize that suppressed grief does not relieve the deep grief in our hearts, but rather intensifies it - - and at some point in time will need to be dealt with - - sometimes with serious medical and emotional symptoms. Scientific studies prove that the tears we shed are literally healing tears, for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up in our bodies from the stress of grief. So, please allow yourself the opportunities you need to express your deep sorrow, Bayleigh's Mummy - - even if it's in the privacy of your room at home, or the restroom at work. And if you are out shopping and see something that reminds you of your beloved Bayleigh and you find yourself openly crying, please do not be embarrassed or ashamed - - this is very, very normal. For awhile you will find that you have little control over your emotions - - this is a natural part of the grief journey, Bayleigh's Mummy. Anyone who criticizes you for your tears is the one who needs the pity for they have never allowed themselves to open their hearts to the purest love we know on this side of eternity - - the unconditional love and devotion of a beloved companion.
The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is the reality that the love bond you and your beloved Bayleigh share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now as she always has and always will. No matter how much time passes in your earthly journey, your beloved Bayleigh is always and forever a part of your heart and your memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I know there are no adquate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart, Bayleigh's Mummy. I can only hope and pray that the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone - - each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Bayleigh with us, Bayleigh's Mummy. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your precious feline companion are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Bayleigh's Mummy,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I know what you're going through and I feel your pain. I just lost my beloved little ragdoll kitten Cocoa to Colon Cancer on January 18, 2013. She was only 8 months old and I had her for 5 short months. She left behind a brother, Crash.
It's hard when people around you mean well and want you to feel better, but say the wrong things. The loss of a beloved pet isn't something one gets over quickly. You've been through so much together and you've formed such a strong bond with each other that only other pet parents would understand.
Please know that you are not alone and your angel isn't suffering anymore.
Big Bear Hug,
Lynx
I have read all your lovely comments guys, thank you so much i am feeling a bit better today actually :-) Bayleigh was a pedigree staffordshire bull terrier and i rescued her when she was 6 she was in the friday ad UK or in USA like the penney saver, she ment the world to me, amd she was truly the perfect dog, here is a picture people much love to you all
Emma xx
Emma xx
I have read all your lovely comments guys, thank you so much i am feeling a bit better today actually :-) Bayleigh was a pedigree staffordshire bull terrier and i rescued her when she was 6 she was in the friday ad UK or in USA like the penney saver, she ment the world to me, amd she was truly the perfect dog, here is a picture people much love to you all
Emma xx
Emma xx
Hi Bayleigh's Mummy,
I am so truly sorry about your loss.
I know how hard it is to lose your furry baby. I know you saw my posts and I constantly get on there and talk to my Gizy, tell him about my day and how much I miss and love him. Try doing the same, talk to your baby girl because she became a little angel and is always with you to protect you.
As far as people who tell you to get over your pain... ignore them. Their behavior is only making it harder for you. Don't tell them how you feel and how hard and heart breaking it is to not have your baby girl around. Instead just come on here and talk to us, we will understand and support you through your grieving process.
And please take your time to grieve, don't let any one tell you that you need to move on quickly. I couldn't eat, sleep, or leave the house for a week.
I was crying and staring at my baby's pictures... Then, thanks to my boyfriend, he started getting me out (no make up, dressed in sweat pants and sweat shirt), he wasn't embarrassed to bring me to a restaurant for a nice dinner. He definitely helped me a lot.
One other friend of mine would come by and stay with me for some time. See if any of your friends can just come over to watch movies with you (that's what we did).
Unfortunately there are many people in this world who have no connection to their or any pets whatsoever. They will never understand your pain. Try to stay away form them at least for now while this is all new and raw to you. And don't try to understand why they are that way, it's just their nature.
Little by little, your pain will ease. But please take your time and cry as much as you feel like you need to.
My best wishes to you darling.
Rest in Peace Bayleigh. When you are on the bridge, I hope you and Gizy become really good friends. He is a sweet little energy bunny and I think you will enjoy having him around.
Love,
Gizy's Mom
P. S. I am looking at Bayleigh's picture and thinking what a beautiful girl she is, look at those gorgeous eyes.
I am so truly sorry about your loss.
I know how hard it is to lose your furry baby. I know you saw my posts and I constantly get on there and talk to my Gizy, tell him about my day and how much I miss and love him. Try doing the same, talk to your baby girl because she became a little angel and is always with you to protect you.
As far as people who tell you to get over your pain... ignore them. Their behavior is only making it harder for you. Don't tell them how you feel and how hard and heart breaking it is to not have your baby girl around. Instead just come on here and talk to us, we will understand and support you through your grieving process.
And please take your time to grieve, don't let any one tell you that you need to move on quickly. I couldn't eat, sleep, or leave the house for a week.
I was crying and staring at my baby's pictures... Then, thanks to my boyfriend, he started getting me out (no make up, dressed in sweat pants and sweat shirt), he wasn't embarrassed to bring me to a restaurant for a nice dinner. He definitely helped me a lot.
One other friend of mine would come by and stay with me for some time. See if any of your friends can just come over to watch movies with you (that's what we did).
Unfortunately there are many people in this world who have no connection to their or any pets whatsoever. They will never understand your pain. Try to stay away form them at least for now while this is all new and raw to you. And don't try to understand why they are that way, it's just their nature.
Little by little, your pain will ease. But please take your time and cry as much as you feel like you need to.
My best wishes to you darling.
Rest in Peace Bayleigh. When you are on the bridge, I hope you and Gizy become really good friends. He is a sweet little energy bunny and I think you will enjoy having him around.
Love,
Gizy's Mom
P. S. I am looking at Bayleigh's picture and thinking what a beautiful girl she is, look at those gorgeous eyes.
Hi, Emma, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the wonderful picture of your beloved Bayleigh. She has such a sweet face. This grief journey is a process, Emma - - there will be ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds especially when you least expect them - - so please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you and your precious feline companion kindly, Emma, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you and your precious feline companion kindly, Emma, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hey thank you Gizy's mom
I am doing a bit better actually, i have a boyfriend too who has come over to stay and he's been doing the same as yours did, pulling me out of bed, making me food, wanting to build snowmen with me to get me out, i've been trying to go out for coffee with a few girl friends, its just being at home without her which hurts the most.
I was exactly the same last week didn't want to eat, talk to anyone or go anywhere, no make up, pyjamas, coming on here has given me comfort and i am convinced Bayeigh would love Gizy, she loved her football and the park and the beach :-)
I still talk to her. Her picture is by my bed, i kiss it and tell her goodnight, every night.
Thank you for getting back to me and how's findind Gizy's sister/brother coming on?
Take care Love
Emma (Bayleigh's Mummy) xx
I am doing a bit better actually, i have a boyfriend too who has come over to stay and he's been doing the same as yours did, pulling me out of bed, making me food, wanting to build snowmen with me to get me out, i've been trying to go out for coffee with a few girl friends, its just being at home without her which hurts the most.
I was exactly the same last week didn't want to eat, talk to anyone or go anywhere, no make up, pyjamas, coming on here has given me comfort and i am convinced Bayeigh would love Gizy, she loved her football and the park and the beach :-)
I still talk to her. Her picture is by my bed, i kiss it and tell her goodnight, every night.
Thank you for getting back to me and how's findind Gizy's sister/brother coming on?
Take care Love
Emma (Bayleigh's Mummy) xx
Thank you Moon Beem,
I am doing a little better, i'm eating now and sleeping a little better, i still haven't been out really yet, apart from coffee, because i dread coming home, thats one of the hardest parts of the day.
and thank you she did have a sweet face, everyone who knew her or met her always commented on her cute face, soft fur and they all just wanted to cuddle her and get a big kiss from her and she is really missed by alot of my friends who all told me that she really was the best dog the'd met. It really helps to know she was so loved and not just by me.
Those eyes of hers were so sweet and innocent she got a few to many treats because i just couldn't resist giving her "one more" :-)
Also Millie my cat is doing ok i think, she's still eating ok, she won't get out of Bayleigh's bed much she loves sleeping in there so i've had to allow it, i think it's so sweet that she misses her doggy friend, they used to sleep on my bed together.
Hope you are well too and thank you for your kind comments
Emma x
I am doing a little better, i'm eating now and sleeping a little better, i still haven't been out really yet, apart from coffee, because i dread coming home, thats one of the hardest parts of the day.
and thank you she did have a sweet face, everyone who knew her or met her always commented on her cute face, soft fur and they all just wanted to cuddle her and get a big kiss from her and she is really missed by alot of my friends who all told me that she really was the best dog the'd met. It really helps to know she was so loved and not just by me.
Those eyes of hers were so sweet and innocent she got a few to many treats because i just couldn't resist giving her "one more" :-)
Also Millie my cat is doing ok i think, she's still eating ok, she won't get out of Bayleigh's bed much she loves sleeping in there so i've had to allow it, i think it's so sweet that she misses her doggy friend, they used to sleep on my bed together.
Hope you are well too and thank you for your kind comments
Emma x
Hi, Emma, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Millie are doing. Coming home after a beloved companion is no longer physically present can be very heartbreaking. It's another part of the "adjustment journey" that is both emotionally and physically challenging. Eventually the distress of this will ease, but it will in no way mean that you are forgetting your beloved Bayleigh - - for nothing in heaven or on earth can ever take your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit from your heart and your memories, Emma.
I can so relate to your precious Millie wanting to sleep in Bayleigh's bed, and it is a good idea that you allow her to do so. This is part of HER grief journey need. My precious Noah slept on his big adopted kitty brother's comforter for over 2 years before he finally "abandoned" it so that I could eventually wash it and use it again.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Millie kindly, Emma, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I can so relate to your precious Millie wanting to sleep in Bayleigh's bed, and it is a good idea that you allow her to do so. This is part of HER grief journey need. My precious Noah slept on his big adopted kitty brother's comforter for over 2 years before he finally "abandoned" it so that I could eventually wash it and use it again.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Millie kindly, Emma, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bayleigh's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Bayleigh is so beautiful! I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little better.
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