It is just really hard for me to believe my cat is no longer physically with me anymore.

I'll tell you when I know. Next Tuesday will be three months since mine left me. Lost my 19 and 20 year old cats in March and August. Just came here again feeling sad.

I still haven't accepted the fact that my babies are gone It seems like they are in the other room just out of eyesight.

I know. Do you have any pictures or anything of that nature that you can put out to help? I think that sometimes the best thing we can do is keep them a part of our life in small ways. It's helped me with the grieving anyways.

Hi I'm new here. I don't know how or when you get over it. I lost my Titan 11 months ago and still have a hard time with it. He put up a great fight for over a year until the cancer just tooK over in spite of chemo and radiation. He had a great, but very short life. I have pictures, his ashes and all the sympathy cards right in my night table. I still see him every where I go. A month after he was gone I lost one of my 16 year old cats. I am thinking about another dog and I know it would be nice for my other dog, but can't see myself being ready any time soon. My vet told me that she knew she was ready for another dog when she stopped seeing him out of the corner of her eyes. She felt like he was saying "I'm all right and I know you will be. " November third 2011was when Titan had his first seizure and we realized the cancer went to his brain. It was down hill from there and on 12/20/11 he had to go to sleep. These next 6 weeks are going to be awful.

Hi,

My apologies for not introducing myself sooner, but I've been extremely busy with work lately. I just lost a dog on October 20th, and my other dog had to be put down in June this past summer, so I lost both of them close in a row. In answer to your question, it could be a combination of things that will help you to make the adjustment. As for me, coming on here and talking about it, as well as offering support to others, leaving pictures up of my dogs on my computer so that I can look at them whenever I want, and receiving one of my dog's ashes this past weekend has helped me to live through the initial deep grief. I've also had a few dreams of them, which helps, and most of all, I can't leave time from the equation. Some people have left out a collar and favorite toy and/or made a place for these items as a memorial. Everyone's situation is different, every bond with a pet is different, so no one say by such and such a date, it will get better. All I can suggest is to take one day at a time and to find different ways of keeping them with you in the physical sense while coming to terms with the idea that even if our pets are not with us physically, they are still with us spiritually, loving us and accompanying us throughout our life's journey. It will get easier, I promise, but all of know what it's like at the beginning and how it seems like it won't. We're here to listen and to support you as best as we can.

Hugs,

Laura

I am so sorry for your loss. I still very much in the grieving stages. My dog Lucymae passed on 10/10/12 at around 2pn. I know she is gone and it hurts. Sometimes I imagine her talking to me asking for biscuits or I can hear her nails as she walking.

I don't know why I know she's gone, I just do but my pain and heartache remains.

Keep posting for support. It helps me.

Hugs to you,

Lynn

I know exactly how you feel. Prayer and the passage of time seems to be the only things that really help me through. Talking with those of like mind help tremendously as well, like the good people on this forum.

I've lost two more of my beloved cats since I was here last, Leo and Robert. It's never easy. I cry and grieve every time.

I just lost my only outdoor cat, Robert, this past weekend. He was hit by a car. He was a feral cat who absolutely would not come in the house and did not like being held but really enjoyed a good petting. He would meet me every morning on the porch for his morning feeding and at night when I got home from work. That's the hardest part for me, the morning and evening. He's not there. I'm about to start crying again right now... sorry...

Just take each day as it comes and take as much time to grieve as you need.

Bruce

I'm not there yet either. I had to put my girl Penny to sleep on August 30th and some days the pain still rips through my body. We have her ashes on our fireplace with her collar because it's the room we are in the most and some days looking at the box and her tags reminds me she is always with me. Other days I want to scream and cry because I just want her home. Acceptance is the last stage of grief and sometimes I think I've made it but I've learned that all the stages are fluid and can come and go at any time.

Thinking of you!

I haven’t really felt strong enough to do anything for awhile, including writing in this when it really actually helps. I just feel sluggish and unmotivated about everything in life.




Inessence: I am so sorry about your two losses. I’m sure this is still very hard for you. I hope some of your sadness can be eased by coming here.

mollycat: Yes I completely understand. What is hard for me is that I haven’t actually been home yet where my cat lived since I have been at my college home…I am absolutely terrified to go back. My mother tells me how she is always looking for my cat. I usually came home to specifically see Lily a lot of times so its almost like a home is not a home without her. At least I have my family there.

missingmygranny: Yes I do actually. It may sound a little too much but I have 2 picture frames of her in my room, a big canvas photo of her, and little little “look alike “ cats that I set out by a cross. It makes me feel better but sometimes it really hurts to look at her, just because I miss her so much. Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it.

Lorig234: I’m very sorry about Titan. Lily also had cancer and it was hard to watch her wither away. I’m glad he was able to put up a great fight, that’s good to hear. I think whenever the time is right you will know it. You want to be able to be excited about it and give it all the love it deserves, which I would NEVER doubt you wouldn’t ☺. We also put Lily to sleep because it could of only become worse with the cancer. I think she knew that it was time to go and was at peace with it. I hope that you are holding up.

Chandanimane: I can only imagine how hard it has been on you losing two pets in such a close time frame. I’m very sorry about your losses. Thank you for the advice I have been doing a combination of those things and you’re right it does help. Lily’s ashes were also just received by my family yesterday-definitely a heartbreaking experience but as you said it will help everyone overall with the grieving process. Thank you so much for your kind words. They have helped me immensely. It is always nice to reminded of things.

LynnMiller: Thank you for your words and I am also sorry about Lucymae. I have read some of your other posts and I can tell how much you miss and love Lucymae (as with everyone else missing their loved ones). It is such a difficult process but I think it is amazing how much compassion people have for their pets. I think it shows a lot about character. Always here to support you as well. Thank you ☺

Bruce: I completely agree with you Bruce. I am so sorry to hear about your pets. I’m sure they were all wonderful. I hope that you are doing the best you can and remember the words you have told the forum. When I posted this I was at a really low point and have been all week so didn’t want to come back to the forum and write. I thought it would just be too hard and I have felt “blank” and “numb”. When in actuality this is one of the biggest helps for me. I hope you are still coming back to read about other’s experiences. Thank you for posting.

Lindsey: I’m sorry about your loss. I have just come to terms that this experience will be ups and downs in a cycle. So I completely agree with you. Thinking of you as well, thank you so much and I hope things are going as best as they can for you.

Hi,

We're glad to see you back on the forum. Of course we understand why you needed to hold off for a while. I can see now what is making this exceptionally hard for you. It seems like you're not getting this sense of closure because you haven't been home yet. We all have been through the process of living in our old stomping grounds and having to come to terms with our pets no longer being there in the physical sense. It is hard as anything to go through the firsts of waking up and not seeing our pets there and losing certain habits like letting our pets out in the yard or needing to feed them or what have you, but it's a part of the grieving process we have to go through to get to the other side. I hope you're reading other posts on this forum to get an idea of what others have done or are doing to help them get through it. Every one has their own special needs in regards to their unique relationships they had with each pet. No one can say for sure what will work for you. Perhaps doing something special in honor of Lily when you get home, such as setting up a memorial and holding a candlelight service with your family. It may help you to reach that sense of closure eventually. I wish you well for your next visit. You'll never forget Lily or your love for her and she will always be a part of your heart and mind wherever you are and for years to come.

Laura

I am finally accepting it more that she is gone after being home. Yesterday was one month since her passing. I had a very hard day in general and it just made it worse. She helped me cope with other life stresses, I could count on her, unlike certain people. Select friends have been supportive but my closest friend, I expected more from especially because she knew how much I loved Lily and her dog passed a few months ago. That friend wasn't there for me whatsoever. This crushed me too. I know people don't always understand why a pet's passing can affect someone so much but I feel let down by people.

All I wish is to have Lily again with me. I actually purchased a ring that holds her ashes and it has helped a lot but still doesn't change the fact I will always miss her...no fix for that. Christmas will be difficult without her and I'm sure that does for many others who have lost their pets physically.

Hi, breyn, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Lily's one month angel-versary with us, and for the wonderful picture of your beloved companion. Although clinical professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society and general, and sadly sometimes the people who are the closest to us physically and emotionally, do not. I am so sorry that your friend who recently experienced the loss of her companion has not been as supportive of you as you need. But please know that each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

When the holidays approach we can find ourselves feeling like our sorrow is intensified as it is yet another "reality check" that we are deeply missing the physical presence of our beloved companions. What is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year" can be "the most horrible time of the year" as we are faced with having to put on what I call the "public face" of cheer in an effort to disguise the deep sorrow that is in our hearts.

Breyn, this grief journey is not one of "accepting" but rather one of "adjustment to" the physical absence of your beloved Lily, and this adjustment journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. I hope and pray that as your travel your grief journey you will feel your beloved Lily's sweet Living Spirit with you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, breyn. Thank you again for sharing your beloved Lily with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam