Just a short year ago, I lost my precious Molly . Molly and I were together over 16 years. She and I were alone together for several years before my daughter was born. She would eagerly await my arrival home from work and would sit in the window and meow when she saw me coming. When there was a storm, she would hide in the pan cabinet and all I could see were her eyes gleaming. We moved several times but we always together. When my daughter was born she would crawl up in my lap when I was feeding the baby and sleep against the baby's back. At night, the baby slept in one arm and Molly slept in the other arm....it made for some tight quarters since I was sleeping in a twin bed at my parents. She always made me feel better. She would put her paws on each side of my face and lick my nose. When she was 16, she started slowing down. Then she started having trouble breathing. She couldn't even lie down she would just sit hunkered over. She got so she wasn't eating and just sat on a blanket where I placed her. She didn't even like to be held. I had decided to take her to the vet when they opened on a Monday morning. Saturday night October 29, 2011 I gently placed Molly in the garage so she could go to her bed next to the furnace. The next morning when I opened the door, she was lying next to the door. She had not even made it to her bed. It hurt so much even though I knew it was coming. We buried her under the willow tree in the backyard.

About a year before Molly passed away, I found a kitten at my work. Whenever he saw my class on the playground, he would come running. I started feeding him and then took him home with me. I named him Kyle, and he appeared to be a Russian blue. Kyle was so sweet, he loved to sleep on the footrest of the recliner between my feet. When I scooped him into my arms, he would sleepily cuddle up to me. He loved to push his hard little face against mine and rub my cheek. As a baby, he carried around a balled up glove that we called "mittey". He would climb everything, walk on the balcony railing and bring home lots of "presents" including rabbits as big as he was. He was so wonderful and was only two years old. Last Friday, I went out to the garage and he was hunkered over on a box breathing funny. I brought him in the house and laid him on a blanket. He really couldn't even meow. I had to leave for work so my mom took him to the vet. The gave him oxygen and did x-rays. While the vet was describing the options, he stopped breathing. We think he may have been hit by a car. What made it even worse was that we couldn't even bury him. We had planned to bury him next to Molly but it seems that while they were trying to put a breathing tube in him, he bit someone at the vet's. Because he was due for his shots, they took him downtown for rabies testing.

Why did I have to lose two precious babies in less than a year? My arms feel so empty. A pet doesn't care what you look like, how much money you have, or what your job is. All they want is food, shelter, and love.

Mollycat, I understand completely what you are going through. I lost both my 19 and 20 year old kitties (in my profile pic) this year, five months apart. It's terribly sad.

Hi, mollycat, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of both your beloved Molly and Kyle. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a short period of time intensifies the grief.

As Inessence has shared with you, so I, too, know what you are going through with two losses so very close to each other. When we are in deep grief it feels like our world will never be the same - - and in reality it won't. When we embrace our companions into our hearts, our lives are changed for the better. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation and without fear of rejection. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again. We are faced with the enormous task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer include the physical needs of our companions. This is a very difficult adjustment both emotionally and physically. It is an adjustment that does not reconcile in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that includes all the "first withouts" - - the first minute, first hour, first day, first week, first month, first 6 months, first holiday, first vacation, first birthday - - and of course all the "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" - - and on and on and on- - and your heart breaks anew.

The good news in the course of this painful journey is that the love bond you and your beloved Molly and Kyle share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Molly and Kyle continue to share your earthly journey just as they always have and always will - - they are always and forever a part of your heart and your memories - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. But I promise you one day when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Molly and Kyle and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and this is what your beloved companions want for you. But until this time comes for you, mollycat, please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Molly and Kyle with us, mollycat. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of them with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, mollycat, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings.
moon_beam

Thank you for your kind words. Right now the initial grief of losing Kyle is past, and I am more in a state of denial. It is hard to believe he is gone. I keep expecting him to be right beside me and in my arms.

Yesterday I received a sympathy card from the Vet's office. Everyone signed it, even people who were not there when he passed away. It made me a little sad and miss my Kyle. All the people at the vet's office were great. When we realized that Kyle was hurt, my mom called around to various vet offices. None were officially open yet since it was early morning, just open for drop off for surgeries. One actually had a vet in the office early so that is where we took him. They made a little pawprint plaque with his name and decorated with hearts after he passed away. When I went to pick up the plaque and identified myself, the staff looked sad. I started crying right in the office in front of all the other animal parents.

The funny thing is, my mom took Kyle to the vet since I was at work. The vet personnel kept telling her how sorry they were and they mailed the sympathy card to her. She was like, "It's not my cat." She really loved him, but not like me. Even my daughter isn't real upset...of course she has a dog, kitten, and fish of her own.

Mollycat
I am so very sorry for your loss. I just lost my precious kitty Sassy last week. She was 16 years old and a Himalayan beauty. I know what you are feeling and I can't even imagine going through it twice. My heart is breaking for you and for me. Just know that others are feeling your pain.
God bless you and heal your breaking heart soon.
djc508

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know how hard it is to lose one so young. My Chewy was attacked by a dog outside our him and the next day had to be put down because the damage was too bad and he was only three.

I want to say it gets easier......and I suppose in a way it does once your able to remember him and smile, and tell stories about him and smile, and look at photos of him and smile. Tears will still always come along side these sometimes though and it is not a bad thing. It is a sign of how much you loved him. I know it is added hardness for you as you lost your beloved Molly just a year before. They will both know how much you will always love them though.

I send my love your way and I hope you are being treated kindly today.

xxForeverxx

I came home tonight and there was a bag on the piano. Inside was a box with my sweet Kyle's ashes. I guess my dad picked it up at the vet's office. I never would have chosen to have him cremated, I wanted to bury him next to Molly under our willow tree. I guess when they were trying to save his life, he was scared and accidentally bit someone. Since his shots were a little overdue, he had to be tested for rabies. The people at the vet's office felt bad about it so they paid for the cremation. I just can't believe my baby is gone I miss cuddling him and having him rub my cheek with his hard little face.

Last year at this time, I still had two kitties! This year I have none

Hi, mollycat, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can feel your deep sorrow in your words, mollycat, and please know I do share the deep pain of your shattered heart. I do so understand your emptiness when you share with us: "Last year at this time, I still had two kitties! This year I have none." It never ceases to amaze me how quickly our lives can change - - and not always for the better.

Mollycat, you can still bury your beloved Kyle's ashes next to your beloved Molly, and place a marker on his resting place. Whatever you decide to do will be the BEST decision for you.

One of the hardest adjustments we are faced with during this grief adjustment journey is to the physical absence of our companions. This is both physically and emotionally painful. You may find it helpful to hold one of your precious Kyle's towels, blankets, toys - - something - - that belongs only to him when the emptiness of not being able to feel him and hold him seems too much to bear. No, this isn't the same as holding his sweet precious physical body, but it will help to bridge the deep emptiness you are feeling.

Mollycat, thank you again so much for sharing your beloved Molly and Kyle with us. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that somehow you will be able to have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I agree with burying Kyle's ashes next to Molly. It gives you a place to go where they are both together. It will get easier with time - everyone grieves differently. Wishing you brighter tomorrows!

I
I plan to bury Kyle's ashes when I can get help to dig a hole. Kyle loved to sleep on the desk chair or recliner footrest but spent most of his time hunting outside. When he was a baby he carried around a balled up glove "mittey" but I don't know where it is anymore.

Tomorrow will be three weeks since my sweet Kyle left us and next Tuesday will be one year since my baby Molly passed away. It seems like just yesterday they were in my arms. My daughter has a kitten I try to cuddle with to feel better but it doesn't help much. The kitten doesn't want to be snuggled and I don't want to get too attached because it is not my cat and I am afraid something will happen to her too.

Today it has been one year since my precious Molly left me. It seems like forever and yet like it just happened yesterday. I got Molly from my roommates cat. All the other kittens were cream but she was orange. I picked her because I wanted to be able to tell her apart from the other kittens. People laughed at her because they said she was ugly and looked funny. She had a long body, fat stomach that drooped, short legs, small paws, and a short tail..........but to me she was beautiful. She would watch out the window for me to come home. When I came home after being gone overnight, she would sniff around my mouth to welcome me.

When I was about to have my daughter, we went to my parents house to stay. She was fine with me there, but when I went to the hospital she hid under the bed. When I came home she had to sleep with me and the baby. Eventually she started going outside and had a little bed in the garage, but still came inside for cuddles.

She started slowing down when she turned sixteen and she didn't look so well. About a month before she died, she started acting funny. For a couple of days she kept hiding under the bookshelf. Then she just wanted to lie on a blanket on the couch. She could jump up by herself. She didn't like to be held and would cry if I picked her up. Then she would crouch on the couch but couldn't lie down. I would see her chest and abdomen go in and out when she breathed.

Every night I would carefully place her in her little bed next to the furnace and would go get her in the morning. Her last few days she wouldn't eat and I had to carry her into the house. On Friday night I decided to take her to the vet's on Monday knowing it was probably the end. Saturday night I kissed her and put her in the garage. Sunday morning I opened the garage door and she was lying right there. She had never moved from where I placed her.

I felt guilty knowing I should have taken her to the vet's earlier but I didn't want to face losing her.

The year before I had taken in a kitten I found at work telling myself it would make it easier when Molly was gone. I loved Kyle but it didn't fill the hole in my heart. Molly and I had a long history together. Kyle and I had a good relationship and got closer each day but now he too is gone. If only I could have one more day with them.

Hi, mollycat, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Molly's first year angel-versary. Just because the calendar date acknowledges the first year of adjustment has been endured does not mean that the sorrow in our hearts vanishes in not having the blessing of their precious physical presence with us. And when we have multiple losses, particularly in a short period of time, it takes longer for the sorrow in our hearts to ease.

Your beloved Molly is so very blessed to have you for her Forever Mom, and you are blessed to be her heir to her eternal love. IT is obvious that you did the very best you could for your beloved Molly during her earthly journey.

Thank you again so much for sharing your and your beloved Molly's first year angel-versary with us. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that somehow you will be able to have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's and Kyle's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today it has been one month since my sweet Kyle left me. My daughter was playing with my phone during church and a picture of him popped up. I almost started crying. I just wanted to snuggle him in my arms and kiss his sweet nose. It is hard to believe that that he has been gone a month already. It is amazing how life goes on even though we are grieving.

Hi, mollycat, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Kyle's one month angel-versary with us. When our hearts are grieving it does seem very cruel how the mundane routines of daily life continue when our world is devastated by the physical loss of our companion. For what seems to be an eternity nothing seems right - - nothing feels right.

Eventually, though, our deep grief eases. Hopefully when you reach this point in your grief adjustment journey, mollycat, your heart will begin to feel peace once again, and will be able to smile when you think of your beloved Kyle.

I hope today is treating you kindly, mollycat, and that you will have a peaceful evening filled with your beloved Kyle's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's Thanksgiving. I guess I can be thankful that my sweet babies aren't in pain and suffering. I am also thankful that I can snuggle with my grandkitty.

Today I finally buried my sweet Kyle's ashes. I just didn't have time before and I really didn't want to accept the fact he was gone. My dad finally went out and dug a hole for me, actually I think he was tired of having the ashes on the piano. I think my dad thought I was weird because I read the 23rd Psalm. I told Kyle how much we loved him and to hunt lots of mice in "the happy hunting ground." I told him to say hi to my precious Molly.

Hi, mollycat, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that you are NOT weird for reciting Psalm 23 at your beloved Kyle's resting place. He is one of our heavenly Faither's precious creatures who is now in His loving, comforting, healing arms patiently waiting for your appropriate time to join him in eternal joy. I do know from personal experience how challenging this step in your grief adjustment journey is - - it is yet another step in your "new reality"journey that your beloved Kyle is no longer physically with you.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey, mollycat, but unfortunately I do not know of one. Just please know you are not alone in your journey - - each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you, with you, and beside you through each step of your adjustment journey for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, mollycat, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's and Kyle's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Molly and Kyle.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

This will be my second Christmas without my precious Molly and the first without my sweet Kyle. I miss the sweet cuddles and kisses.

I would love to get a kitten for Christmas, but it is my parents house and they said no inside animals. I really want to have a lap cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, mollycat, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. The holidays can be very sorrowful when our hearts are missing the precious physical presence of our beloved companions. I am so sorry that your parents are not supportive of your having another companion. As a little girl many many years ago my parents, too, were not supportive of my feelings about companions, so I can very well empathize with your situation. This is something you have no control over at the moment, and I know how lonely your heart and arms feel. But one day you will find yourself in a situation where you can live apart from your parents, and will hopefully be in a position where you can have a precious companion once again. This will be my Christmas prayer for you until you are able to have it come true.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, mollycat, and that I am hoping and praying that you will feel your beloved Molly's and Kyle's sweet Living Spirits comforting you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My parents love animals but they don't like them in the house. I don't like kitties having to stay outside. The problem is my nephew is allergic to cats and his parents said he can't stay at our house if there is a cat so it is impossible to get them to change their minds.

mollycat, I can very well understand how much you're missing Molly and Kyle. And I share your feelings about wanting cats to stay inside. Are your parents concerned about a cat damaging the furniture? I wish so much they would change their mind. I can tell how much you'd like to have a kitty. They make such great friends!

As my friend moon_beam shared with you...hopefully someday soon you can get your own place and have a cat. Hang in there!

Mollycat, your losses are really resonating with me. I just lost my beautiful precious Jasper, who'd only been with me three months. We were still in that fresh, "falling in love with the new baby" stage when he was struck down by a vicious disease just a week after he was diagnosed. I'd adopted him to be a body-buddy companion for Rohan, another cat who'd lost his cuddle-buddy Willow just a few months before. Their deaths were only 7 months apart, and worse yet, this is the eighth time I've walked the path of grief in ten years. I don't believe in curses, only resilience, but good heavens, enough! So I really understand your sense of collective loss when one grief sits atop another.

As for wondering how others perceive you, one of the best quotes I heard last year was "what other people think about me is none of my business." Your own heart is the only rudder you need to listen to. My condolences over Molly and Kyle. Your description of Kyle reassures me that there are many adorable kitties out there waiting to join with us.