jake came into our home about 18 months ago. he was already a senior catizen at approx. 12 years. he had had a rough life, missing one eye (we think dogs attacked him and the shelter decided it was best to remove it) and had been living in a garage for god knows how long. he also suffered from kidney disfunction. I knew we would have limited time with him and i wanted to give him what should have been his all along . . . a loving family and a warm and safe home with endless amounts of food.
i did not know i would become so attached and fall so in love with a kitty i knew would only be with us a short time. but i did.
everything was fine, he could do no wrong. he slept 23 hours a day and never caused a problem. didnt fight with the other cats, used the litter box and had favorite spots for his naps all over the house, up until a month or so ago. then it changed.
we have decided it is his time now for euthanasia, and i will tell you it is heartbreaking. i am wishing beyond everything possible that somehow we could find a way out of this, but we can't. there is no miracle cure, no last minute treatment and it is breaking my heart. dementia has begun to settle in and i know its only going to get worse. he has already begun to forget to use the litter box and has peed all over the furniture several times and the carpet as well. i cannot tell you how much i hate the fact that this has to be the deciding factor but with other animals in the house, i can't have my house turn into a giant litter box. i spoke to my vet and she said something that put me a little more at ease, she said that while we have to consider the quality of life for the pet, we must also consider the quality of life for the owners as well. plesae dont think i am trying to take the easy way out, my heart is broken and i just do not know what else to do.
his appointment is tomorrow evening and i am sick to my stomach already with grief.
what is worse is that it is this week, one year ago, that i lost my dear pablo so i am dealing with a lot.
Full Version: Saying Goodbye To Jake
jakesmom, my heart goes out to you. Having had to put our loving Jake the Bulldog to sleep a few weeks ago, I know what you are struggling with. All I can tell you is that, if your Jake is not going to get any better and is already unmanageable, your decision is a sound, if painful and difficult, one. It is never easy losing our beloved animal companions, they somehow manage to steal our hearts away completely, but we must do what is right for them and for us. I don't envy your task, and wish strength and courage for you. You will be in my prayers tomorrow.
Jake's mom,
You are in my thoughts tonight. I had to euthanize my senior girl Penny on August 30th. She started having seizures on August 5th. The first week or so I had been in denial and we were trying various options. She had seizures every few days but that morning, it lasted for over 30 minutes and she never really came out of it. The 25 days that we dealt with her suspected brain tumor - I became a constant caregiver for a dog who otherwise had only ever asked for love. She was suffering from dementia - didn't even recognize us or her name most of the time and would pace the house all night long. She got "stuck" in corners, in the closet, behind the dining room chairs so I was constantly going to her to remove her from the situation. She was totally house broken before it started and lost all of those skills too. When I had to go to work, she would soil all over the house almost like she was panicking. It was exhausting. I didn't sleep more than a few hours at a time. That morning, when I heard her collar clicking at 5 am I got in the floor and laid with her until the seizure was over. I woke my husband up and told him it was time. We took her in later that morning. After it was over, I realized at some point when I had her on my lap in the waiting room she had urinated on my leg. That was not my regal girl. If she had been more coherent she would have been so embarrassed.
It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. When I left the vet's office I sat down on the curb and I had an overwhelming sense of relief. And then I sobbed because I felt like I did it for my convenience. I spent days feeling like I made the wrong decision. Now that some time has passed I've realized that the decision I made was out of love for Penny. I didn't want her to suffer. There was no way I could have let her go had it not been love. I know this is long winded - but I want you to know that you will feel a huge range of emotions. And every one of those is okay. Euthanizing a beloved friend is not taking the easy way out and I pray that you don't continue to feel that way leading up until tomorrow. You brought a senior into your home and gave him lots of love. Love and devotion is hard to come by when you're nearing the end of your life
Most animals instinctively want to be clean and soiling the house and themselves as a senior is often used as a way to gauge quality of life. Several people I've talked to now say they feel they did it "too soon" and I have felt that way about Penny but I also think that prolonging any suffering just to have them around for us is selfish, so in a way I am thankful I was able to let her go when I did rather than put her through another seizure.
Love on your boy tonight and send him to the Bridge tomorrow knowing that you gave him 18 months of unconditional love.
We are all here if you need us.
You are in my thoughts tonight. I had to euthanize my senior girl Penny on August 30th. She started having seizures on August 5th. The first week or so I had been in denial and we were trying various options. She had seizures every few days but that morning, it lasted for over 30 minutes and she never really came out of it. The 25 days that we dealt with her suspected brain tumor - I became a constant caregiver for a dog who otherwise had only ever asked for love. She was suffering from dementia - didn't even recognize us or her name most of the time and would pace the house all night long. She got "stuck" in corners, in the closet, behind the dining room chairs so I was constantly going to her to remove her from the situation. She was totally house broken before it started and lost all of those skills too. When I had to go to work, she would soil all over the house almost like she was panicking. It was exhausting. I didn't sleep more than a few hours at a time. That morning, when I heard her collar clicking at 5 am I got in the floor and laid with her until the seizure was over. I woke my husband up and told him it was time. We took her in later that morning. After it was over, I realized at some point when I had her on my lap in the waiting room she had urinated on my leg. That was not my regal girl. If she had been more coherent she would have been so embarrassed.
It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. When I left the vet's office I sat down on the curb and I had an overwhelming sense of relief. And then I sobbed because I felt like I did it for my convenience. I spent days feeling like I made the wrong decision. Now that some time has passed I've realized that the decision I made was out of love for Penny. I didn't want her to suffer. There was no way I could have let her go had it not been love. I know this is long winded - but I want you to know that you will feel a huge range of emotions. And every one of those is okay. Euthanizing a beloved friend is not taking the easy way out and I pray that you don't continue to feel that way leading up until tomorrow. You brought a senior into your home and gave him lots of love. Love and devotion is hard to come by when you're nearing the end of your life
Most animals instinctively want to be clean and soiling the house and themselves as a senior is often used as a way to gauge quality of life. Several people I've talked to now say they feel they did it "too soon" and I have felt that way about Penny but I also think that prolonging any suffering just to have them around for us is selfish, so in a way I am thankful I was able to let her go when I did rather than put her through another seizure. Love on your boy tonight and send him to the Bridge tomorrow knowing that you gave him 18 months of unconditional love.
We are all here if you need us.
well after a lot of crying and talking last night, my husband and i have decided the time is just not right. not yet anyways. we have moved the litter box to a more convenient location for him and since then he has been using it. we are going to cover up the furniture and just keep vacuuming up the excess litter everyone keeps throwing out lol, and go from there. its what feels right. i realize i may be making this decision because its easier, but he deserves one more chance, he deserves a few more good days or a few months or whatever, but i need another sign and until i get that sign, i have to do whatever it takes.
he is going in to the vet next week to have his kidneys flushed and while that may only be a temporary solution, at least i will know that i have done everything possible.
he is going in to the vet next week to have his kidneys flushed and while that may only be a temporary solution, at least i will know that i have done everything possible.
Jake's mom,
I'm one of the believers that you'll know when it's time. About a week before we put Penny to sleep, our vet started really talking to us about quality of life. I think at that point he was thinking it was time, or close to it. I prayed and prayed for a sign. That morning when the seizure was over and she finally looked up at me - her eyes were so sad and I took that as the sign I needed. The three weeks she was sick prior to that day were hell for me but I wouldn't take that time back for a second because when she had a good day - they were really good days
Your family will know when Jake is ready. And until then - enjoy that baby
I'm one of the believers that you'll know when it's time. About a week before we put Penny to sleep, our vet started really talking to us about quality of life. I think at that point he was thinking it was time, or close to it. I prayed and prayed for a sign. That morning when the seizure was over and she finally looked up at me - her eyes were so sad and I took that as the sign I needed. The three weeks she was sick prior to that day were hell for me but I wouldn't take that time back for a second because when she had a good day - they were really good days
Your family will know when Jake is ready. And until then - enjoy that baby
Hi, jakesmom, please permit me to offer you my total support in your and your husband's decision to wait just a little while longer to give your precious Jake and you and your husband more time together. Your heart will know when it's time, and it is you and your husband who will need the peace in your heart after your precious Jake joins the angels - - even if this time together is a matter of hours, days, weeks.
Making a decision on releasing our precious companions from their frail, failing physical body is never an easy one, - - even when the absolute undeniable reality is there that it is time and totally in the best interest of our companions. It is comparable to ending life support for a human family member or friend. But I assure you, jakesmom, that when you and your husband make this decision for your precoius Jake that it will undeniably be made out of the deepest love you both have for him in your hearts - - there will be no question of selfish motives.
Please know you and your husband are not alone in your Anticipatory Grief journey -- which is filled with many emotions all of its own accord. Each of us know what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us NOW - - and after your precious Jake joins the angels.
I hope today is treating you, your husband, and your precious Jake kindly. Please know you, your husband, and your precious boy are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how things go.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Making a decision on releasing our precious companions from their frail, failing physical body is never an easy one, - - even when the absolute undeniable reality is there that it is time and totally in the best interest of our companions. It is comparable to ending life support for a human family member or friend. But I assure you, jakesmom, that when you and your husband make this decision for your precoius Jake that it will undeniably be made out of the deepest love you both have for him in your hearts - - there will be no question of selfish motives.
Please know you and your husband are not alone in your Anticipatory Grief journey -- which is filled with many emotions all of its own accord. Each of us know what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us NOW - - and after your precious Jake joins the angels.
I hope today is treating you, your husband, and your precious Jake kindly. Please know you, your husband, and your precious boy are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how things go.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
That's great news, jakesmom! I hope you get to enjoy your Jake for many more months.
Jake is gone. after spending the day covering furniture and making things more accessible to him downstairs, he still would not use the litter box. he looked confused and lost, he would go to it and look at it, then go elsewhere and if i had not been standing there, he would have just peed on the carpet. please know that this is not just a case of a cat not using the litter box so we off'd him, he is almost 15 and his health was poor - he was suffering from kidney disease, constant constipation, vomiting almost every day, weight loss and constantly scratching at the back of his neck until it bled and had no fur. i could tell dementia was setting in and i just could not watch him every minute.
the weird thing is, during this entire week while wrestling wtih the decision, he looked like he was doing really well, then once i made the decision to wait, he looked like he was not well.
i am still wrestling with this decision, but i had to think about the quality of my life as well. i really hate how it sounds, but i just could not deal with him peeing all over the house and that problem was only going to get worse.
he was a very special cat, and i know we feel that way about all our pets and rightly so, but jake had been through a lot and had never really had a good home until he came to ours - even though life had dealt him a lot of bad blows, he was still willing to give us love and open his heart.
he deserved so much more, i just wish we had had more time with him.
the weird thing is, during this entire week while wrestling wtih the decision, he looked like he was doing really well, then once i made the decision to wait, he looked like he was not well.
i am still wrestling with this decision, but i had to think about the quality of my life as well. i really hate how it sounds, but i just could not deal with him peeing all over the house and that problem was only going to get worse.
he was a very special cat, and i know we feel that way about all our pets and rightly so, but jake had been through a lot and had never really had a good home until he came to ours - even though life had dealt him a lot of bad blows, he was still willing to give us love and open his heart.
he deserved so much more, i just wish we had had more time with him.
I'm sorry that you wound up having to put Jake down, but I think you did the right thing under the circumstances.
Hi, jakesmom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Jake. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Jakesmom, you and your husband did everything that is humanly and humanely possible for your Jake to give him a loving, safe home during the last part of his earthly journey. He transitioned home to the angels knowing your and your husband's eternal love for him. You and your husband have the blessing of his eternal love - - and the blessing of being his Forever Mom and Dad. And you and your husband are blessed with your beloved Jake's sweet Living Spirit to continue sharing your earthly journey, and treasuring the memories you share together. Your beloved Jake is forever with you in your heart and your memories, jakesmom - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
Our companions are very dignified in their behaviors, and when their dignity is diminished so is their quality of life. Your beloved Jake is now restored to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels - - no more suffering, pain, illness, - - restored to his proud Spirit - - which is a precious gift you and your husband have given him.
This grief adjustment journey is one of the hardest experiences you wlll know on this side of eternity, jakesmom - - there will be times of doubt, guilt, confusion - - and all of the different emotions you will experience will be normal - - painful, yes, both emotionally and physically - - still very normal. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. But please know each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I know right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. I can only hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, jakesmom. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Jakesmom, you and your husband did everything that is humanly and humanely possible for your Jake to give him a loving, safe home during the last part of his earthly journey. He transitioned home to the angels knowing your and your husband's eternal love for him. You and your husband have the blessing of his eternal love - - and the blessing of being his Forever Mom and Dad. And you and your husband are blessed with your beloved Jake's sweet Living Spirit to continue sharing your earthly journey, and treasuring the memories you share together. Your beloved Jake is forever with you in your heart and your memories, jakesmom - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
Our companions are very dignified in their behaviors, and when their dignity is diminished so is their quality of life. Your beloved Jake is now restored to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels - - no more suffering, pain, illness, - - restored to his proud Spirit - - which is a precious gift you and your husband have given him.
This grief adjustment journey is one of the hardest experiences you wlll know on this side of eternity, jakesmom - - there will be times of doubt, guilt, confusion - - and all of the different emotions you will experience will be normal - - painful, yes, both emotionally and physically - - still very normal. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. But please know each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I know right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. I can only hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, jakesmom. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so sorry about this...
You gave Jake a comfortable, loving home and a beautiful ending
You made the right decision.
Second guessing is the inevitable outcome of tough decisions we do out of love and compassion.
You gave Jake a comfortable, loving home and a beautiful ending
You made the right decision.
Second guessing is the inevitable outcome of tough decisions we do out of love and compassion.
Jake's mom,
It sounds like he may have been suffering from dementia. Penny was diagnosed with CCD (the formal dog dementia name) and like I said in my earlier post - my 100% housebroken dog completely forgot how to potty outside almost overnight.
I am sad to hear that you had to put him down but I do believe it's one of the most compassionate gifts we can give them - especially as a senior when they are likely confused and suffering far more than we know.
You're in my thoughts tonight.
It sounds like he may have been suffering from dementia. Penny was diagnosed with CCD (the formal dog dementia name) and like I said in my earlier post - my 100% housebroken dog completely forgot how to potty outside almost overnight.
I am sad to hear that you had to put him down but I do believe it's one of the most compassionate gifts we can give them - especially as a senior when they are likely confused and suffering far more than we know.
You're in my thoughts tonight.
there is no change in the household. i guess i expected it to be noticeable. you know when you have a pet that has been ill and you have been taking care of them, or you have to support their special needs, once they are gone, you really notice it.
jake was so quiet, all he ever did was eat and sleep. he slept in the window sill or on the back of the sofa - he didnt even take up a seat!
i think its even sadder that its hardly noticeable that he is gone. i feel no relief. there is no change in my routine.
he is just gone. i find it surreal, so hard to believe. i knew when i adopted him that his time with us would be fairly limited - i guess i just hoped it would be further off.
i'm still not ok with it. i do not want to carry on with my day as though nothing has happened and i hate that my husband can. it does not feel right to go about my day and act normal.
i'm a little thrown i guess by the fact that this has had such an impact on me - he mattered so much and there were days i hardly noticed he was here. of course every morning he wanted his tuna treat and made his presence known, then he would go back to his sleeping and i wouldnt hear from him for hours.
a part of me wants to run out to the shelter and adopt again, but i fear i can no longer continue to do this. i have 3 babies left and it will be hard enough when their time comes . . .
why is it i feel more grief at losing a pet than i do when a person i know or has been close to me dies?
jake was so quiet, all he ever did was eat and sleep. he slept in the window sill or on the back of the sofa - he didnt even take up a seat!
i think its even sadder that its hardly noticeable that he is gone. i feel no relief. there is no change in my routine.
he is just gone. i find it surreal, so hard to believe. i knew when i adopted him that his time with us would be fairly limited - i guess i just hoped it would be further off.
i'm still not ok with it. i do not want to carry on with my day as though nothing has happened and i hate that my husband can. it does not feel right to go about my day and act normal.
i'm a little thrown i guess by the fact that this has had such an impact on me - he mattered so much and there were days i hardly noticed he was here. of course every morning he wanted his tuna treat and made his presence known, then he would go back to his sleeping and i wouldnt hear from him for hours.
a part of me wants to run out to the shelter and adopt again, but i fear i can no longer continue to do this. i have 3 babies left and it will be hard enough when their time comes . . .
why is it i feel more grief at losing a pet than i do when a person i know or has been close to me dies?
I think because with pets the love is simply unconditional. they are there to be loved and be loved only. You obviously have a very warm and caring heart and you did a wonderful thing by opening up your heart and your home to Jake. I'm so very sorry for your loss!
Hi, jakesmom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. The fact that YOU miss him is a testimony this his life has meaning and that your life is now forever changed because of his earthly presence with you.
When we are in deep grief our "survival mechanism" kicks in and we function on what I call automatic pilot - - bills get paid, jobs get done, errands are run, dinner is made, laundry is done - - all the things of "normalcy" continue yet it feels like we are disconnected from the things that used to seem "meaningful." This is normal, jakesmom, - - it's a part of the grief adjustment journey.
With human relationships - - even the best and most intimate - - we have expectations, and depending on if / when these expectations are not met this can cause a range of effects from not affecting the relationship at all to being reasons for the relationship to disintegrate.
As missingmygranny has so comfortingly shared with you, when we embrace our companions into our hearts our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe because they are totally dependent upon us for their every need every day for all of their lives. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention and we in turn surrender oursleves to them without hesitation or fear of rejection. So when our companions precede us to the angels it is a very painful adjustment for us to make. This does not mean we love our human family members and true friends less - - it simply means that our love for them and our love for our companions is different.
Unfortunately this grief adjustment journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time, jakesmom. It is a journey that will not be resolved in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month or even 6 months - - for you are now enduring a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and all the "this time last week, last month, last year" to endure. It doesn't matter that his earthly journey with you was short - - what DOES matter is that the love bond you and your beloved Jake is eternal -- and it is not resticted to the physical laws of time and space. The adage "out of sight out of mind" does not apply to our companions who are now with the angels. Your beloved Jake is indelibly and forever etched into your heart and your memories, jakesmom - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, jakesmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jake's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
When we are in deep grief our "survival mechanism" kicks in and we function on what I call automatic pilot - - bills get paid, jobs get done, errands are run, dinner is made, laundry is done - - all the things of "normalcy" continue yet it feels like we are disconnected from the things that used to seem "meaningful." This is normal, jakesmom, - - it's a part of the grief adjustment journey.
With human relationships - - even the best and most intimate - - we have expectations, and depending on if / when these expectations are not met this can cause a range of effects from not affecting the relationship at all to being reasons for the relationship to disintegrate.
As missingmygranny has so comfortingly shared with you, when we embrace our companions into our hearts our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe because they are totally dependent upon us for their every need every day for all of their lives. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention and we in turn surrender oursleves to them without hesitation or fear of rejection. So when our companions precede us to the angels it is a very painful adjustment for us to make. This does not mean we love our human family members and true friends less - - it simply means that our love for them and our love for our companions is different.
Unfortunately this grief adjustment journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time, jakesmom. It is a journey that will not be resolved in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month or even 6 months - - for you are now enduring a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and all the "this time last week, last month, last year" to endure. It doesn't matter that his earthly journey with you was short - - what DOES matter is that the love bond you and your beloved Jake is eternal -- and it is not resticted to the physical laws of time and space. The adage "out of sight out of mind" does not apply to our companions who are now with the angels. Your beloved Jake is indelibly and forever etched into your heart and your memories, jakesmom - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, jakesmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jake's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hello Jake's mom
I'm Gretta and Rufus's mom and I've been posting with Jake's Grandpa. I'm so happy to meet his mom. He's a GREAT and wonderful dog. What a face!
Please don't think I'm crazy. I lost my beautiful Rufus just two months ago and I was half a continents away taking care of a critically ill relative so he had to go home all by himself. My heart is breaking and this is just my way of grieving for Rufus.
Hi Jake,
I saw your picture that your grandpa put here. You're one impressive dog! Your grandpa and I have been writing to each other so I know him, too. Hake, I want to invite you to a party tomorrow up there in the Perfect World. It's Rufus's birthday and there's going to be a party for him tomorrow. Listen for where the fun and eating are coming from and you'll know where it is. In the perfect World animal cake and ice cream never run out and never make anybody sick so don't be afraid to stuff yourself!! Could you round up all your relatives and friends up there and trottle on over to the party? I've told Rufus a lot about you and so has Trevor's mom so he'd live to see you and, as we say here on earh, chew the fat.
Thanks much, Jake-ie.
Gretta and Rufus's mom
I'm Gretta and Rufus's mom and I've been posting with Jake's Grandpa. I'm so happy to meet his mom. He's a GREAT and wonderful dog. What a face!
Please don't think I'm crazy. I lost my beautiful Rufus just two months ago and I was half a continents away taking care of a critically ill relative so he had to go home all by himself. My heart is breaking and this is just my way of grieving for Rufus.
Hi Jake,
I saw your picture that your grandpa put here. You're one impressive dog! Your grandpa and I have been writing to each other so I know him, too. Hake, I want to invite you to a party tomorrow up there in the Perfect World. It's Rufus's birthday and there's going to be a party for him tomorrow. Listen for where the fun and eating are coming from and you'll know where it is. In the perfect World animal cake and ice cream never run out and never make anybody sick so don't be afraid to stuff yourself!!
Could you round up all your relatives and friends up there and trottle on over to the party? I've told Rufus a lot about you and so has Trevor's mom so he'd live to see you and, as we say here on earh, chew the fat. Thanks much, Jake-ie.
Gretta and Rufus's mom
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