I had my Penny girl put to sleep last Thursday. I am profoundly grieving for her. Much more than I ever thought I would be. Her health started declining at the beginning of August and it went so quickly. The first diagnosis was a Vestibular Event and then a few days later she had a seizure. She was then diagnosed with Canine Cognitive Disorder and a probable brain tumor. Due to her age, we opted not to do an MRI. We put her on Anipryl and saw some positive results. I woke up at 5:30 that day and found her in the middle of a horrible seizure. I don't know when it started but it continued for 30 minutes after I got in the floor with her. She was not able to get up after it like she had the others. I woke up my husband and told him it was time. We took her in about an hour later. Our vet made me step back when he was proceeding to give her the medicine (I think more for my sake) because I really thought I was going to try and grab her off the table. It happened so fast. Once he got it in I was able to hold her and within seconds she was gone. I stayed with her for a few minutes afterward and she looked so peaceful - better than I had seen her look in weeks.

I'm grateful that I had a few weeks to really love on her and tell her how much she meant to me. I feel like I will never be able to move past the guilt that I killed her

Hi, Lindsey, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Penny. Losing a companioin is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Lindsey, this grief journey is filled with many different emotions that usually overwhelm us all at once - - it is a journey frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is very painful journey - - both emotionally and physically - - that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time - - in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that does not resolve in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for it seems that every moment of every hour of every day is a constant painful reminder that your beloved Penny is no longer physically with you. There are all the "first withouts" to endure -- the first time coming home without her greeting you, the first birthday, the first vacation, the first holiday - - the first shopping no longer needing to get her food or favorite treat or toy - - and it seems the painful reminders never end for each one is like a knife through the heart.

The good news through all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Penny share is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey now just as she always has and always will. She is always and forever a part of your heart and your memories, Lindsey, - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. I can only hope that the words I share with you will somehow offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Penny with us, Lindsey. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lindsey, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam. Here are two photos - one on the night we found her in August 2004 and the night before she died. I will post more later when I can sort through my emotions some more.

Forgive me you just broke my Heart.

When a Doxie finds a friend this Red smooth coat will be there to the end she will pick just one
to lay in the grass as Leafs fall from the skie as she gives chase you will see the flying Doxie
this one will jump into your heart and tell storys of a friend that Kneels with open arms..

As you know are Doxies teach us special things that guide us in times of need for are friends
Guard the ones they love...Mighty Lions that never run that hold are hearts when they sing
We hear every word they speak as tears fall by are feet.

I have many questions one comes to mind I will tell my story as my Neighbors look on...
every winter the snow falls yet my friend stands 3 inches tall as i shovel my backyard i make a maze
for my friend to travel as i watch and smile; as this princess runs through my mind..

I have spoken for a friend...I have many words i think not appropriate at this time...
I will say your friend sits so nice when water runs down her back those beautiful eyes bring
the strongest to there knees you have truly touched my heart...

To the ones that lay in are arms we whisper songs that light a path for are friends we sit by there side
and hold them as we help the ones we love cross over as are hearts beat as one.


As gods of time will never touch this earth Only the purest of Hearts will carry the ones that
Bring...
The Sun
The Breeze
The Leafs that fall from the Trees
As chase Begins as each blade of Grass Bends intime you will always see your friend through Her eyes
That brings us sight for the Teachings of a Doxie Begin when we look into there Heart...
Click to view attachment
My Broken words...

Thank you My Doxie and Me for the beautiful words.

I see you've had the blessing of Doxie love too

Penny was a rescue and we aren't quite sure what she was mixed with. I've heard Lab, Corgi, Pom. She was a pretty solid girl. I never knew my heart could hurt this much. I keep second guessing everything the past few weeks. Did I do the right thing, did I hang on to long, not long enough.

I'm sure your Doxie and mine are playing together now - free of pain and sickness.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and the wonderful pictures of your beloved Penny. What a pretty girl she is. There is no doubt from the expression on her face and in her eyes that she knows she is loved - - for all time - - by her Forever Mom and Dad. Love is eternal - - it is a growing living Presence that is forever with us even when we are physically separated from our loved ones. I hope as your deep grief eases that your heart will be comforted by the many beautiful memories you share with your beloved Penny.

Please permit me to address what you shared with My Doxie, "I keep second guessing everything the past few weeks. Did I do the right thing, did I hang on to long, not long enough." Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal in this time of deep grief. When we experience a traumatic event - - and the physical loss of a beloved companion is a traumatic event - - we look back and try to reconcile all the things that didn't make sense at the time they were occuring, and sift through all the "what ifs" and the constant questions that literally torment our hearts. From what you have shared with us, Lindsey, there is no doubt in my mind that you and your husband did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Penny a happy and healthy earthly journey - - a home where she knows she is loved. Hopefully in time your heart will find comfort as your deep grief eases, and you will be able to hear your beloved Penny's sweet soft whisper in your heart say to you, "I love you, too, and thank you for loving me. All is well - - I am always with you."

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Lindsey, and thank you again so much for sharing your beloved Penny with us. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam.

I'm realizing today the severity of the seizure she had. I feel certain in my heart that even if she had been able to get up that day that she would have had significant brain damage. It was too severe and too long. When she managed to open her eyes she looked so sad. I'm not sure I will ever think it was the "right" thing but maybe the "best" thing for that day. I'm also realizing that I never could have made that choice had I not loved her so much and I'm finding that comforting.

I've been praying almost constantly for signs that she is okay and at peace. Tonight while my daughter and I were walking our other dog, a feather kept floating around us. I'm normally not big on signs but when it fell at my feet I picked it up and brought it home. Miles was a puppy when we rescued Penny and she has been his loyal friend for 8 years. Miles hates birds. He cannot stand them to be anywhere near his house and barks and chases them. Penny loved to annoy Miles. I thought it was pretty fitting she might choose to send us a feather to say her spirit is near

I think I will miss her forever but I also am realizing that I let her go out of pure love and respect and I'm grateful I had a couple of weeks to mentally prepare and tell her all about all of the wonderful joy she's brought to my life.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I love the feather floating around you and your daughter. I do believe that our beloved companions find ways to let us know they are always with us - - and since your beloved Penny loved to annoy Miles - - what better way for her to let you know she is with you than with a feather.

When our companions precede us to the angels, they take a part of us with them - - a part of us that belongs only to them - - to hold in safekeeping until it is our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy. This is one of the many reasons why our hearts do not feel completely whole - - like one of the broken heart necklaces. Eventually the deep grief does ease and our hearts eventually embrace new experiences, but I promise you, Lindsey, that no matter how much time passes in your continued earthly journey that you will never forget your beloved Penny - - nor will your love for her ever diminish.

I hope today is treating you, your family, and your precious Miles kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Two weeks ago tonight - Penny was clicking through the house having the best day we'd seen in awhile. My world stopped at 5 am. Two weeks ago tomorrow I lost a large part of my heart.

I feel like everyone around me feels like I should be "over it."

I'm not anywhere near over it. I think the past few days I've been in denial and that my body has needed that just to rest.

I still expect to see her when I get home. I see her out of the corner of my eye. My daughter had a dream about her as did my college roommate (who knew and loved her too.) When will she come to me?

When does it stop hurting so badly?

I miss you Penny Girl.

An Angel Left Her Wings
@Tina M.Marascia
My apologies for my Modifications to a Heart felt poem
i changed some words to light a friends path.

Click to view attachment

I have this little angel. For me she left her wings so i might see
the beautful colours that dance beside my feet as i her the clicking
sound of Paw prints that Holds me in my sleep.She has no idea how
much happiness she truly brings.She brightens up my days with her
smiles and her Barks<Or Demands>;She helps me to remember all
the blessings that i have.

Her face,it is so perfect, she's sweet and soft and pure with her Red velvet fur
that grace the steps i take intime She tries her very best to please and do whats right.
She wakes me in the morning she wakes me late at night to tell me she loves me as
she pass through my mind.

Every person that has known her sees this light within a friend that holds me tight
I know in this whole great world, she has a special place as Penny has helped me in my life
a time when she brings a smile that breaks the day before we drift through the night
The light that shines is brighter when my Angel spreads her wings as she lets me know
i did what was right as she smiles upon the ones that carry us through the night
and help them cross over this gift that we give is priceless as we stand by there side
as are friends start to drift away and we Beg for forgivness as we reach for the light...

When she sees someone sad,it opens up her heart as she runs free
She wants to do all that she can; she wishes to do her part
As she lays her paw upon your heart as you sleep she runs with memories
with thoughts of a friend that lays her to sleep as she leaves Angels wings
by your feet to comfort you intime of need...

I know that God must love,He showed me with His Grace
I knew just how complete when I look into my Angels face.
In that very moment when i look upon her cage;I knew that she
will always hold a special place in my Heart for she brings the sun
As the rain stays away for a friend that pass with each breath i take.

When God entrusts to you an Angel. who has left her wings for you.
Encircle her with love with everything you do in a story in your words
She will always love you as she sits and waits for a friend to carry her
down Heavens Gate so she can run free...

Click to view attachment

Thank you! My heart was heavy reading it but it is so true. I have to keep reminding myself that though she is physically not here she will always be with me. I miss her more than I've ever missed anything. I finally put most of her belongings away in a bag. It hurt to much to look at them. I left her collar out. I would give anything for one more day with her when she was healthy.

My Penny girl,

I looked through pictures of you from the past few months earlier. Tears were streaming down my face. You looked so good just a month before you got sick. I keep wondering if I missed something or if I didn't do enough. Some days I feel like it was "too soon" until your dad reminds me of how sick you were that morning. I did what I thought was best for you. I put aside my selfishness to let you go. I never wanted you to be hurt, confused or in pain. I would do anything to have you back smiling and happy. I miss you so much that it physically hurts. Miles still misses you too. I try to love on him a lot and take him for walks and car rides but those things are a temporary fix. He has stopped looking for you since I showed him your ashes. I think he knows you are gone but that doesn't make your absence any easier.

You were a good dog Penny. And I'm so glad I told you that every day.

I just never thought I would be without you so soon.

Kisses and pancakes,
Mommy

Lindsey,

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet girl. I too have euthanized my beloveds, and you do know when it's time. But I truly feel it is the one last kindness we can do for them. It's still not easy. I love that the people who post don't tend to say "well i'm a dog person, or cat person". We are all animal people & grief binds us. Thanks for your thoughts & prayers for me. You have mine as well.

Midgesmom

Up until last year I would have said I was a dog person

We are now owned by two cats - one that showed up in our front yard and waltzed in the front door about a week before Penny got sick. I have no doubt in my mind God sent her to me to help me get through this pain.

It is amazing how "animal" people can relate. I have a lot of positive in my life but even my husband doesn't seem to fully understand the extent of my grief. I had Miles and Penny when we met so they were always more "my" dogs.

Lindsey when you speak of Pennys last day i know what might have been for my 2 friends have past the same
way so penny is more Dachshund i am sorry to say its there way of telling us that its time for them to leave
for we would hold them until eternity.

We are there Angels as we hold there head and kiss there last breath and are heart breaks with all the time that pass
they learn a language not of there own but for the ones they love they search are hearts and they know we will carry
them intime of need we earn the right in the end to speak only to easy are friends pain and to do whats right
For the words are friends speak only we can see..

A special friend has touched your heart a connection made deep when words run free you see how much love Penny..
Brings you can read each click behind your feet This little one will follow only the purest of Hearts she follows Lindesy..


I to have many items i hide such as my friends

Tooth brush
Tooth paste
Her leash
Last visit to the Vet Paper work to let me know all is well;
all this is kepped in a Drawer along with my Broken Heart
For me my friend was running in the backyard at 16...
<Left this space Blank>

Few things that i have found to help in the grief that is to speak of your friend or write when you seek the answers
by looking back into your friends eyes you will see Penny run out to the Tallest Tree making her way around with
great speed she sees the one that holds her Peace as you kneel she sprints as you see the Flying Dachshund with no
Fear she jumps into your arms as she knows you care....
Click to view attachment

Thursday again. I hate Thursdays. No matter how much better I've been doing Thursday hits me like ice cold waves in the face. As soon as I wake up I begin going over that whole morning in my mind until 11:02 am when Penny was gone. Huge lump in my throat today. I had 3 weeks to prepare for reality without her and now it's been 3 weeks since I let her go. I never anticipated the pain would be this horrible. I think it's reassuring in a weird way that our bond was really that strong. I loved her immensely and she loved me immensely in return.

I ordered a book - Dog Heaven to read to my 4 year old. She has processed everything really well but occasionally will whisper when she thinks I can't hear her and say a prayer to tell God to tell Penny various things. Dog Heaven is simple and sweet and I sob every time I finish it. Last night I said a prayer and told God he might skip the ham-sandwich biscuits for Penny and try peanut butter instead. Ham was decent but peanut butter would get that sweet dachshund smile every time! Every ounce of me aches to see her again, running in Heaven. Waiting for me.

I miss you Penny today and every day since you had to go.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. For awhile - - what seems right now to be an eternity - - Thursdays will feel like a crushing blow to your heart. For me it has either been a Monday or Wednesday when my companions have preceded me to the angels. For almost an eternity your heart will say "this time last week, this time last month, this time 3 months ago, this time last year" - - and it will feel your heart is breaking anew not having your beloved Penny's sweet physical presence with you. There is no way in heaven or on earth that we can ever prepare ourselves for the painful reality of not having our physically with us sharing our daily lives because we live in a physically oriented world governed by the 5 senses of taste, touch, smell, hearing, and sight. But I assure you, Lindsey, that your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will. She is forever a part of you in your heart and your memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

I am so glad you have a book to read to your daughter that will help both her and you in your grief adjustment journey. I am so smiling at your asking God to skip the ham-sandwich biscuits and try peanut butter instead. Believe with all your heart that He hears your prayers for your beloved Penny and that He is holding her in His loving arms as she patiently waits for your appropriate time to join her in eternal joy.

I hope today is treating you, your family, and your precious Miles kindly, Lindsey, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm having a really rough night and I'm not sure why. I keep thinking I will dream about her or see a sign but it isn't happening. I just need to know she is okay. Subconsciously I know that's true but my day to day thought process can't seem to move past denial and guilt. My heart literally feels like it breaks all over again when I wake up and realize she isn't coming home.

Four weeks ago today I had to say goodbye.

For the first Thursday since - my morning was not as horrible. I am a social worker that does adoptions for foster kids and I had court at the time of her passing. I didn't even realize it had passed that time until this afternoon.

I miss her unbearably some days and other days I still just love her.

I think I will always miss my girl but my heart is slowly healing.

It's been a month today Penny girl. Some days felt like they were never going to end and other times felt like it all went by so fast. I hope some day I'll feel strong enough to tell your story. I miss you so very much.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and your and your beloved Penny's one month angel-versary with us. Please let me try to reassure you that no matter how much time passes in your continued earthly journey you will always remember your beloved Penny. Nothing not even the dimming of our minds with age can ever take the cherished memories of our beloved companions from any of us. Particularly during the deep grief some days will be easier than others. Yet even 20 years down the road you may be thinking of your beloved Penny and you will feel a mist in your eyes and a quiver to your chin - - with a smile on your face. Your beloved Penny is forever a part of you, Lindsey - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is treating you, your family, and your precious Miles kindly, Lindsey, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Please forgive me for speaking i would like to tell you a story about a Little girl named Penny that opened her heart
to a friend that is an everlasting connection yet we need to hear the thoughts of are friends when they speak with
are Hearts..Today i spoke Pennys name to a friend so you see as you hold Pennys Heart others Hold your Thoughts

And i smiled why well i still see the little girl in the Tub...Forgive me as Bath time is was not a favorite of my Friend
and i would like to say she is Beautiful as the water runs down her back as she sits so nicely;
What i can really see;As the chase begins Come on Bath time;As Penny is know where to be found;
as you look all over to find penny in her very special place If i know Doxies let me think now i know
Your bed those beautyful brown so sad eyes as if we where sending them out into the cold for the winter;
When we just wish for them not to roll around on there backs in the grass in who knows what;

As a cookie awaits for them when they are all done in the Horrors of the waters that splash against there backs
as i kneel and hold my hand out and say all done my princess;...

As fall begins Leafs take flight and start to sing with memories of the winds brings Angels Wings you can see the path of are friends
As the Doxie travels the grass fades as the pattern they choose stay in are hearts as we can still see Paw prints
that they leave as Breath begins to fade we wish them well with a story so all can see for in are Hearts in a moment
As so much might be lost as we try... and we weep for a friend and love blinds us as you Honor Penny.


So Penny i called your name today and words from my Heart Begin to form as Leafs that dance with the trees and the
Loving winds carrie my words to say How lovely your Penny is when the water runs down her back;...

The gift of sight from a friend is a speacial message only you can read intime..

My Thoughts are with Penny and all her friends as you have already brought Honor as your love
Shines for a very special friend that can tell a story 1000 times over with just one look into her eyes
as the loving reflection is where Penny holds you close as she kisses you goodnight.
Lindsey please forgive me for my thoughts as i hold back i thought to speak tonight.

Click to view attachment



Thank you Penny

My Doxie,

Thank you for the post. It gave me chills. I'm not sure what's happened the past few days but I've finally felt at peace. I talk to Penny often and pray even more than that. I miss her more than I've ever missed anyone who's passed but I am okay. I've felt her presence lately and the house feels a little less empty. I was finally able to take her ashes out of the bag they were delivered in and put them on the mantle in the living room. I know time will continue to heal this awful empty pain. It's been a few days since I've really cried. I still tear up at times but I think since I've let go of the guilt of euthanizing her I am able to move on from the darkness of losing her and focus more on the 8 beautiful years we had together.

My other fur baby Miles will turn 9 on 10/15. It will be the first birthday he's celebrated without Penny. I think that day will be a little hard for me because of that but also a joyous day due to his illness and hospitalization last month. He is doing so much better healthwise and seems to be grieving a little less for Penny.

I hope this post finds you well My Doxie.

After a few decent days, today has been rough. I woke up at 3 am last night and thought I heard Penny. I laid awake for awhile after trying to remember how soft her fur was and how she had this sweet smell. I still have the nagging feeling something is missing. About two weeks after she passed, I found a single hair of hers on my desk at work. Not that unusual because I had been covered in fur for days because I was trying to love on her as much as I could but it was very comforting. I think right now that's what I miss the most - just the physical aspect of her and that I will never see her again here.

I love you PB girl.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. How wonderful that you recently found a hair of your beloved Penny on your desk. It is comforting to find these treasures for it is a reminder that your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit continues to be with you as you travel your grief adjustment journey. No, it isn't the same as having her sweet physical presence with you to touch and smell and hear and take care of - - and this one of the many reasons why this grief adjustment journey is so very painful - - both emotionally and physically.

I wish there were an easier way to navigate this journey, Lindsey, but unfortunately I do not know of one. I hope and pray you are finding comfort, support, encouragement, and hope from each of us and the reassuance that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you, your family, and your precious Miles kindly, Lindsey, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

People underestimate how much our pets mean to us. You will always miss her but with time it will get easier. I'm sorry and am sending you hugs!

Thank you both. Today was better than yesterday. I am grieving this loss more than I have any of the humans I've loved and realizing how profound she was in my life. Today I'm just so grateful that she found me (literally.) We found her running down a busy street in a storm and we pulled over and opened the car door and she jumped in. It was love. We looked for owners but I was so thankful when we didn't find them because my love for her was almost instant that night. I'm glad I got 8 good years with her.

Hi Lindsey,

I’m so sorry about your precious baby Penny – what a doll she was! I love dachshunds – we had one when I was younger and I have several friends who are involved in rescue work with them and have their own rescues that I have come to know and love. They are such sweet, adorable dogs. I am glad to see that you are feeling some relief, even though I know you still miss her and grieve. I’m not sure we ever “get over” losing our babies – actually, I’m certain we don’t – but the pain can start to evolve into gratitude and immense love and appreciation. That has been my experience.

I grew up having dogs and love them to pieces – but over the past 13 years I have had cats and “collected” quite a few – 5 to be exact  I lost the love of my life, soul mate kitty Oliver last December to congestive heart failure – he died in my arms on the way to the emergency vet. He was the most beautiful, precious soul and I remember thinking that I would never be able to survive losing him. And then it happened – he was only 13, but was a fat boy and I’m sure his weight was a large part of his heart failure (for which I blame myself endlessly) – but I think of him now with joy in my heart, remember how loved he was and how much love he gave me – he would literally lay on his back and I would lean over him and he would take his paws and grab either side of my face and pull it down to him so he could kiss my face. When he looked in my eyes, it was a deep gaze, so full of soul. To anyone who says animals don’t have souls – BS!!! I have never felt more soul than I have from my fur babies.

Anyway – the grief unimaginable and I know how you feel – I came to this site a few days ago because I lost another one of my kitties, Henry – literally lost him. I was moving out of my apartment and he was in my arms and scared and clawed his way out of my arms and ran. This was August 20th – I have searched endlessly and tried every imaginable thing to find him and have not been able to. I had an animal communicator tell me last week that he has passed – I believe her, but I will never truly know for certain. Losing him has nearly killed me – there is no closure and thinking of him suffering, being scared, hungry, hurt, and possibly dying alone – it is more guilt that I can explain in words. He was my sweet little orange baby – he was so gentle and sweet to all the other kitties – he was so precious and fragile, which makes losing him that much harder because I felt especially protective of him. The pain I have experienced is indescribable. And the guilt is crippling.

I have started to read other people’s stories on here and have found solace in knowing that there are other people out there who love animals as much as I do and truly understand the grief. I have to tell you that I truly think you did the right thing for Penny in letting her go – and what a blessing that you could be with her. I am certain she knew (and KNOWS) how much you love her and you obviously gave her a wonderful life. I believe she is with you too – I refer to my Oliver as my fur angel. He has watched over me and protected me in so many instances, I am certain of it. And I feel him around me, and there is warmth and love that overcomes me. I am trying to see if I feel Henry – I don’t know if he is gone for certain, but I hopeful he gives me a sign if he has crossed over – I miss him so and my heart bleeds uncontrollably when I think of him.

Anyway, I want to thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to witness the love you had and will always have for your precious Penny. This site has been such a comfort, so thank you for being a part of that. Bless you and your sweet Penny – you are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you continue to feel better with every passing day.

With warmth and hugs,

Ginger

Ginger,

Thank you for the kind words. It always helps me to read others stories - the love for our animals is amazing! I have been dreaming about her the past few nights. Her silly face in my face giving slobbery kisses. I think it really is her way of saying "Hey mom! I'm here!" I miss her terribly and I think I'm more or less back in denial but at least it gets me through the day

Today is our other dog's 9th birthday. It's the first birthday he has had without Penny. We celebrated yesterday with a trip to PetSmart to pick out new toys. Since he was diagnosed with Pancreatitis in September he cannot eat much other than his prescription dog food so we haven't been able to spoil him much (birthdays at our house normally mean some sort of special food!) I kept thinking today would be so hard but it's really been tolerable. I miss her jumping around during the happy birthday song but I bet she found a way to annoy brother today

I am praying for your Henry - that he makes it home to you or that his passing was peaceful. I think the pain of not knowing is worse than not. I had a cat growing up that stayed with my parents when I went to college. She was old and went out one morning and never came back. I still wonder about her from time to time. We have a cat now that showed up about a week before Penny got sick. She was very thin but it was clear she had been someone's house cat and had been loved. We spent several weeks looking for her owners and haven't been able to find them so she's queen of our house now. I always wonder if someone is missing her and I pray that they aren't or we'll find them and she can go home. I like to think God sent her to me because he knew how much Penny's passing would hurt.

I too hope you are having a better day today,
Lindsey

Pets, like people, come into your life for a reason and a season. Obviously Penny was meant to be a special and much loved part of yours. It will get easier but my advice is to take one day, one step at a time.

Lindsey please forgive me for the words i will speak you are correct it is helpful to read others
Stories Only as a Doxie has owned me; i wonder what tales you have to tell of a friend
Sometimes in telling a event/Story a reflection gives words from a friend which brings..

Peace when i look at and forgive me...Penny Taking a Bath you bring smiles and i thank you...
Those eyes tell such a story......



As i light a Candel for Penny Thank you for sharing...
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Maybe some day I'll share some stories. I certainly have so many!!

I woke up last night in the middle of the night and half asleep went to look for her. I haven't done that in a few weeks and when I realized what I was doing it shocked me. There is such an empty feeling some days. I have been having more frequent dreams of her. I pray that it's her really coming to say hi. I miss her so much.

Tomorrow will be 2 months since Penny crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Some days it seems like it was longer ago than that. My heart still hurts. Here is a picture of her with my daughter 4 days before she passed.

I miss you sweet girl.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Penny's 2-month angel-versary. What a lovely picture of your daughter and Penny. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

As the days and weeks - - and eventually months - - proceed and as the numbness of our grief pain eases - - we can find ourselves wondering how we have managed to continue with our lives when a very important part of our life is no longer physically with us. It never ceases to amaze me how "life goes on" - - at a time when by all rights it should stop -- because the world we have known and enjoyed has been forever changed.

Adjusting to the physical absence of our beloved companions is not an easy one - - physically and emotionally. Hopefully as your deep grief eases, Lindsey, you will know that your beloved Penny continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - just differently.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Penny with us, Lindsey, and this wonderful picture of your daughter and Penny. I hope today is treating you, your family, and your precious Miles kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Lindsey this is the most beautiful Snap shot intime i have Had the Honor to hold in my Heart
I believe that you have spoken with Clear words of how Penny has touched your Family lifes
As you share with heart felt words Penny has certainly touched mine...As you show
your own pain to speak for a friend you bring light with a moment intime that is Absolutely
Heart warming and gives Hope....And helps so many with the grief of a friend that has passed.
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I thank you for the smiles that you bring in a time when....

We went to a local rescue adoptathon today. I mostly just wanted to smell puppy breath but thought it wouldn't hurt. It turned out to be a horrible idea. We met lots of lovely, sweet dogs. But there was not one dog I met that I would even consider bringing home.

On the way home, I cried quietly in the passenger seat. I just want Penny. I guess it's good that I went and realized I'm just not ready. I know some day we will be able to love another dog but I am just not in that place yet. Miles has adjusted to being the only dog. He does still seem lonely sometimes but we just love on him more, play fetch longer, go for longer walks.

Most days I think of Penny and smile. Today was one of the days that I wanted to stomp and scream and demand that God give my dog back. I hate these days.

Having a hard time with the holidays approaching. I am dreading unpacking Christmas decorations and pulling her stocking out. I volunteered at an adoptathon this weekend and held a tiny puppy for about an hour. She was so sweet and for a few minutes I thought that I might actually be ready to bring her home. Ultimately I decided it was unfair for the puppy. I am a social worker and do adoptions for foster children and it's National Adoption Awareness month so I am far more busy than normal.

I miss her silly face and wagging tail so much.

Hi, Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some words of comforting reassurance that what you are feeling is very normal deep sorrow in not having your Penny's sweet precious physical presence with you, particularly during the upcoming holidays. What is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be "the most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are grieving the physical absence of a loved one - - whoever the life form. Because of the increased social activity we find ourselves more obligated to put on what I call the "public face" in an attempt to disguise the deep sorrow that is in our hearts. It is vitally important for your physical and emotional health that you provide yourself the privacy you need to release your sorrow for your beloved Penny, Lindsey.

I know how difficult it is for you to look at the many precious waifs who are in need of a loving heart and forever home - - with a part of you wanting to give your heart to a new companion - - with the bigger part of your heart not ready. You are very wise to wait until your heart is completely ready to embrace a new companion into your home and life, Lindsey. You and your precious Miles need this time together.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Penny with us, Lindsey. I hope today is treating you, your family, and your precious Miles kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Penny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam