I would gladly accept physical pain of any kind over heartbreak. There are no pain killers for emotional pain. I feel that hurting myself (punching a wall, banging my head against a wall, etc.) . . . . would be a welcome distraction from the pain inside.

I lost my big, beautiful, red Bloodhound, my buddy, my friend, my gentle giant, my 5 year old baby....... 5 weeks ago. There are no words to describe what he meant to me and no words to describe the pain. There were no signs of anything being wrong. He was happy, healthy, up to date on all vaccinations, heart worm preventative, routine check ups. Nothing to indicate there was any kind of issue. I left Friday night July 6, for a family reunion in Rockford, IL, I was to return Sunday July 8, early evening. Silas passed sometime Saturday the 7th. I wasn't told until Sunday after my husband and son buried him. No body was looking forward to giving me that news so they waited until they knew the reunion was over and I was getting ready to come home. This was all done compassionately and gently. I wish however, that I could have had a necropsy performed to determine what happened. I am so distraught by his death but can't get past the what happened. It was extremely hot that weekend but I had to two swimming pools and three tubs of water with the water hose running into one of the pools. There was no sign that he struggled with stomach issues. No diarrhea, no vomiting. My sister was at my house refreshing their water at 8:00 a.m. Saturday. My husband was home and actually saw him playing about 6:00 a.m. Saturday. My sister doesn't remember seeing him when she gave them fresh water. This is very odd because they are in a fenced yard and he usually is right there when the water hose is on to stick his nose in the fresh tub of water. My husband left for the day to go take care of cattle and no one returned to the house until about 9:00 p.m. when they found Silas laying on his side, feet out, head in a normal position, mouth and eyes closed. Like he just laid down and went to sleep. Due to the condition of the body, the guess is that he had passed very early in the day which again tells me that it couldn't have been heat related. I have searched and researched, talked to vets, justanswer.com, medvet.com, ask a vet websites. The obvious answer is that there is no way to know for sure with out having done a necropsy. Possibly bloat or maybe cardiomyopathy or even anyurism. I left for basically one day 1:30 p.m Friday - 2:00 p.m Sunday and he's gone. Why did it happen on the day I was gone? What happened? Why did I not just skip the reunion . . . I thought about it numerous times but it was for just one day so I went and Silas died. I did (as I do every time I leave) tell all my puppy dogs and kitties goodbye. I give them big hugs. I did so this time but I don't feel like I spent enough time saying goodbye considering what happened. I do and I don't want to know if he suffered or if it was instant. I have so many unanswered questions and so confused. I don't expect answers, unless someone might have had a similar experience with their dog. I just felt like I might feel better if I put my feelings and story in writing. Not Yet . . . but maybe soon.

Thanks!

Hi, Treebyrd, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Silas. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion unexpectedly and unknown causes intensifies the grief.

Treebyrd, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time. It is a very painful journey, both emotionally and physically. From what you have shared with us, you gave your beloved Silas a happy and healthy earthly journey. While a necropsy MIGHT have been able to answer some questions, medical science is not perfect - - be it human or veterinary medicine. A necropsy on your beloved Silas could have raised more questions than provided answers, and you would still be wondering what happened. And knowing exactly what happened would in no way diminish the agonizing grief you are feeling.

Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief adjustment journey, Treebyrd. There are no fast forward or delete buttons to press to either speed up the journey or make it immediately disappear. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. The deep sorrow you are feeling will not disappear in an hour, a day, a week, a month - - or even 6 months, - - but I promise you one day when you least expect it you will find that the deep sorrow is less intense, and you will find it easier again to think of your beloved Silas with a happy heart. For now, though, you are faced with the unbearably painful task of re-inventing your daily life that no longer includes the precious physical presence of your beloved Silas. For now every minute of every hour of every day will be a reminder that "this time last week, last month, last year Silas did this or was here to enjoy that. . . " and your heart will feel like it is breaking anew.

One of the many things you need to remember during your grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through - - do understand the enormous deep sorrow you are feeling - - and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends here, Treebyrd.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss you are feeling. I can only hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief journey. If there is any good news through this incredibly painful grief it is knowing that the love bond you and your beloved Silas share is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Silas continues to share your earthly journey just as he always has and always will, for he is always and forever a part of you, Treebyrd - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Silas with us, Treebyrd. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Treebyrd, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Treebyrd,

I am so very, very sorry for your agonizing loss of Silas. He sounds like a wonderful boy and I know you loved him more than very much!

Just adding to moon_beam's eloquent message, I totally believe that Silas, who has left his physical body behind, is a totally free and happy Spirit now. He is able to be right next to your loving, caring heart all the time and, at the same time, frolic and get to know many new friends on a daily basis in the Perfect World. I choose to call that place Heaven, but it has thousands of names.

I lost my wonderful Trevor, the bravest little Cocker Spaniel in the world, just over a year ago and it still shakes me to the core at times that he is no longer here. Then I remind myself that he IS - his Spirit is right here and one day I will not only understand that, but be reunited with him and all his brothers. What a joy that will be! Meanwhile, we are left behind to live and cope in this world. Please try to take some time to do what I believe Silas, as a young dog, would want you to do: make sure to take care of yourself (he doesn't want anything to happen to his mommy) and take all the time you need to grieve, remember and heal. It WILL happen, in a timely manner that is right just for you! Give yourself time and lots of it. I still go to the Human Society cemetery where Trevor and his brothers are buried (we have just a small yard) all the time, talking to every one of them and arranging the right flowers, beanie baby doggies, flags, etc. that is just right for their personalities. Don't be ashamed of what you feel, how you express it or how long (or short) your healing journey takes. Other peopke, outside of your immediate family, really don't matter. If they "get it" great! If not, move on immediately to someone who supports you.

And you will find all sorts of understanding, support, acceptance and love here at Lightning- Strike (LS). Every one of us has been through the agony and journey that you are on now. Some have just recently lost a loved one, others have lost more than one or are at a different place on their journey. But we all are here FOR YOU!! Please feel free to write here whenever you need to, as many times as you want to. I did and still do.

I could go on and on, but that's not what you need now. Know that I am always here FOR YOU and WITH YOU - always.

Blessings..........................
Bobbie
(Trevor's mom)

PS: I'll tell Trevor and his buddies about Silas, but I'm sure they have already met and are having a ball. Not to mention the bragging (about YOU) that is going on........

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It really does help to know that I'm not alone in the way I feel about loosing my puppy dog. I do wish I knew that he went quickly and painlessly. My biggest fear at this point is that he may have suffered. It's been almost 6 weeks but feels like yesterday. I replay everything over and over and over. I wish that I was a person that didn't dwell and go thru all of the what ifs. I wish I could bounce easily back to normal. I have so much to be happy about . . . healthy children, husband, parents, pets, etc. but I just can't right now. I miss him terribly and I'm mad that he was taken from me and I have to wake up every morning to the fact that he's gone and I want him back right NOW!

I trained Silas to search for lost pets and he was very good at it. He would also find people, calves . . . any scent I put in front of him . . . he would search and usually find it. Cats and dogs are tricky to find because they are not necessarily wanting to be found so they wander but he would pick up their scent and let me know what direction they went or if they were still in the area. He was so very smart and beautiful. He was born with a bobbed tail which kept him from ever becoming a show dog but that didn't matter to me. He was beautiful and I miss his voice and soulful eyes. I miss the way he would use his paws to open gates, to scoot his food bowl closer to him, to reach out and touch me. And I even miss his slobbers and his smell. I loved everything about him and it seems so unreal that something so full of life, so beautiful and smart, can be gone now. I will post a picture soon. All of the pics I have on my computer are large files and I haven't figured out how to reduce them. When I figure it out . . . I will share.

Thanks again,

Treebyrd

Hi, Treebyrd, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to offer you some words of encouragement in your grief journey.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "It's been almost 6 weeks but feels like yesterday. I replay everything over and over and over. I wish that I was a person that didn't dwell and go thru all of the what ifs. I wish I could bounce easily back to normal. I have so much to be happy about . . . healthy children, husband, parents, pets, etc. but I just can't right now. I miss him terribly and I'm mad that he was taken from me and I have to wake up every morning to the fact that he's gone and I want him back right NOW!"

The physical loss of your beloved Silas is a traumatic event in your life - - it is a MAJOR change, and not a positive one at that. Unfortunately, six weeks is not nearly long enough for you to begin to feel your deep sorrow to ease. Clinical professionals recognize that the first year of loss - - first 12 months of a loss - - is the hardest because it is filled with all of the emotions and "firsts withouts" that are a part of the grief adjustment journey - - the first hour, first day, first week, first month, first holiday, first birthday, first vacation, and on and on and on. This doesn't mean that when the calendar says the first year angel-versary has been observed that the sorrow in your heart will automatically disappear. It just means that you will have endured through the deepest sorrow of your grief journey, and hopefully are being able to think of your beloved Silas with a happier heart. So please do not put unnecessary expectations on yourself, Treebyrd. Remember - - this grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time.

How wonderful that your beloved Silas assisted you in recovering missing companions, livestock, people - - what a WONDERFUL joy this was for you and your beloved Silas to share during his earthly journey. I can see him now telling all the residents in heaven's perfect garden about the wonderful experiences he shared with you, and each of them are nodding their heads in total agreement. And your beloved Silas continues to share your earthly journey now just as he always has and always will - - celebrating with you the good times and offering you comfort during the less than good times.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Silas with us Treebyrd. If you continue to have "technical difficulties" with posting your pictures, please feel free to contact the L S Administrator - - he is very gracious in helping with matters of this nature. I hope today is treating you and your family kindly, Treebyrd, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Silas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories and pictures of your beloved Silas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Treebyrd I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your story is very similar to mine. I lost my best friend, my 5 year old black lab, Kaia, a little over 3 months ago as suddenly as it sounds like you lost your beloved Silas. I had taken both my labs for a walk early in the morning and in the space of a minute Kaia had a seizure and was non-responsive. I tried CPR but she was gone. Like Silas she was up to date on shots, vet visits, heartworm, etc. Kaia was always energetic and happy and never showed any signs of illness. The emergency vet felt it looked like anaphlaytic shock from a bite/sting, possibly from a bee/wasp or allergic reaction to something she ate. They also asked about a necropsy but I declined, not wanting her body to be cut open and I figured what was the point, because it wasn't going to bring her back. But honestly, like you, I wish I had done it to try and get answers. I also researched to try and find a cause online because I just couldn't believe a bee sting could take down a healthy dog. My regular vet, who I've been with almost 20 years, thought she must have been stung in the mouth and it went straight to a blood vessel for the reaction to be so fatal.

When I went to the ER vet to pick up her ashes I asked them if they see sudden death cases often and she said they do. They had just had a yorkie come in that the owners had just left for an hour and it was fine when they left and dead when they came back. They also said that even with a necropsy it doesn't always find the cause.

I know exactly how you feel. I tell myself all the time I would rather go through anything else then the loss of a beloved pet. The sadness and heartbreak is so intense. I honestly still spend so much time just trying to get through my day. I think aobut Kaia all the time and go over that morning every time I wake up. I wish I had never taken them for a walk that morning. I still cannot believe she is gone, I was doing fine for awhile, but latelly the feelings have all been rushing back and I've been crying at night. I know this has changed me forever, not just her death but how she died, but I loved having her in my life for the short time we were together. I treated that morning like every other morning and wished I had spent more time with her, given her more love, more kisses, more everything.

Again I am so very sorry that you are going through this terrible pain. I promise you it will get better. You will always feel the loss and miss the things he used to do, but in time instead of feeling sad they will make you happy to remember. I know you are not there yet, I'm not either but I have to believe we will both get there eventually.

Kaiasmom

Kaiasmom,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You never want anyone to go thru the pain of loosing someone or something so loved but it happens to all of us and it's good to know that you're not alone in your thoughts and feelings.

I am so sorry for your loss. I guess we all go thru the what ifs and if onlys. Don't feel like there is anything you should have done differently. I know it's hard but we are not allowed to predict the future for a reason. Everything has to take it's course no matter how painful. The questions, regrets, anger . . . are all natural responses to tragedy/loss. The one thing I do differently now is try and make sure I let each of my pets know how much I love them each day before I leave them. I have a 14 year old Basset Hound that I pay special attention to, in fact, he's the one I focused on when I went out of town the weekend I lost Silas. I never in a million years thought anything would happen to any of my other dogs while I was gone. It's hard to loose anything but it is definitely harder when it's sudden. I think 'okay, I'm getting better' and then I'll see a paw print or a nose print on a window or door and it all comes flooding back. I've cried every single day (many times a day) since he's been gone. So much that it physically hurts to cry. It has gotten a tiny bit better and I know that it will continue to get better in time. I feel that if I had an answer as to what happened that it would help me but it's possible that I would only have more questions so maybe it's as it's supposed to be. I think so much about the chain of events that led up to Silas's death and how so many things had to be in place for it to have happened without anyone knowing or seeing. On a weekend that I was gone . . . a weekend where I was gone only a little over 48 hours. My pets are all checked on at least three times a day while I'm away. My husband was home 'til about 11:00 the morning I lost Silas, my sister was there at 8:00 that morning and my son returned @ 9:00 that evening and found him looking like he was sleeping. I think it was as peaceful as a death can possibly be because he was lying in an normal sleeping position, eyes and mouth closed. No signs of struggle, no signs of vomiting or diarrhea, nothing coming from his body except his bowels released and that was normal looking.

I comfort myself by telling myself that I had 5 wonderful years with Silas and it was well worth all the pain that I'm experiencing now. I have so many wonderful pictures and memories to hold on to. It wouldn't be painful if I hadn't loved him with all my heart, it wouldn't be painful if he didn't matter. He was my big red baby and he is loved very much!

Treebyrd

Two months ago today I lost my big, beautiful, gentle giant. I wake every night in a panic and then when morning finally does come I say to myself "it's been 1 day without Silas, it's been 2 days without Silas, it's been 3 days without Silas" and now it's the 2 month mark. I don't want autumn to come without you. I don't want Thanksgiving to come nor Christmas. Winter will be extra long, gloomy and depressing, but spring will be sad for me as well. I wont be happy about summer (my favorite season) because it will bring the one year mark. I collapsed when my family told me you were gone. I beat my hands on the wood deck, I banged my head against the brick fireplace. I wanted physical pain not a broken heart. I didn't want that information! Take it back!!! I wanted to go back .....5, 10, 30, mins. Then back 24 hours, days, weeks, months, years. I want do overs. It's so hard to accept. I pretend for brief momments that you are still alive. But, that's no good. I have to come back to reality. I have to move forward. So many others deserve love and attention. I will never stop missing you, loving you....I'll never forget our time together. I cry every day. Deep, hard, loud, doubling over with grief cry. It has become slightly better. I can talk about you sometimes without falling apart. I still can't look at your picture which keeps me from showing anyone how beautiful you were. I will though. I want people to know how beautiful you were, how full of life and energy you were. We were robbed of our time together. We should have had years together. I will never know for sure what took you...I can only guess that it was probably bloat. I did my homework on the topic and every other topic regarding bloodhound health issues. I took precautions. The only thing I didn't do was put you through the surgery used to prevent bloat. I never thought it would happen to you because I was careful. I've had hounds most of my life, never worried about bloat as much as I did with you, never took as much precaution as did with you and yet I'm sure that's what took you. I wonder sometimes if we can bring things to fruition by worrying and thinking so much about what could happen. Negative thoughts vs. positive. It doesn't matter at this point but I pray that you didn't suffer, weren't in pain, weren't scared and that you forgive me for not being there. I pray that I will see you again. I miss you so very, very much. I miss your soulful eyes, I miss your fog horn howl, your deep echoing bark, the snorting sound you make when your nose is to the ground, your beautiful red, soft coat, the way you would stand between me and what you thought might get to me, watching you swim in the river, watching you stand at the edge of the pool and touch the water with your paw. I miss your high fives, playing fetch with you, teaching you new tricks, running trails with you. You were so smart and so eager to learn. I can't bring myself to go to the river without you, go out on the boat without you, walk thru the woods without you. I need for the pain to dull, but I don't want any memories to fade. And when the grief boils up again, I'll remind myself that this kind of pain is worth it. I had five beautiful years with you. I loved you unconditionally and you me. You brought me endless laughs, smiles and joy. Because you were such a wonder, because I love you so much, I hurt and it's unbearable at times but the the hurt is worth the five years I had with you.

I know how you feel. We all do. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hi, Treebyrd, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Silas' 2 month angel-versary. This grief journey does not resolve in an hour, a day, a week, a month - - or even 6 months. Some days are easier than others, some days are intensely painful. Sometimes it feels like the deep seering pain of sorrow will never ease, and most of the time during the deep grief we find ourselves thinking, hoping, praying, that we are in the midst of a very bad dream and all we have to do is wake up and everything will be okay.

I wish there were an easier way to travel this grief adjustment journey, and if there were one I would most certainly share it with you. The only thing I can do is to try to reassure you that I am here with you, for you, and beside you through every step of your journey, and hope and pray that you can feel my hands reaching out to you across the cyber miles in an effort to offer you comfort in your sorrow.

Treebyrd, thank you again for sharing your and your beloved Silas' 2 month angel-versary with us. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Silas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Treebyrd, what a sad story. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and without question, Silas was obviously very loved. Try to find some peace in the wonderful memories you had with him and know that with time, your heartache will ease. It never completely goes away I think because when you truly love an animal they stay with you forever. With time the tears turn to smiles on occasion and you will remember him with laughter too. I hope that your pain eases soon and your heart gets some comfort!

It's now been a little more than three months since I've held my Silas and I wish I could say I'm good now. I still cry everyday, several times a day. I can't believe he's gone! I still look for him, listen for him ... I want so badly to hear his howl when I come home. While going thru pictures on my camera I found the last pictures I took of him. He's so beautiful and so alive! So young and healthy! How can he be gone?!?!?! I own a doggie daycare and every puppy dog that comes in reminds me of Silas in some way. My heart is not in my work and it should be. I love animals and have the greatest job but I don't feel happy. I feel jealous and extremely sad. I find reminders everywhere. Pictures keep popping up even though I try really hard to avoid them. My vet sent a reminder card with his name on it which brought me to my knees. I went to an antique store a few days ago and on a table, right as I walked in was an old comic type magazine with Silas Marner on the cover. Not since high school have I read the story of Silas Marner(which I named Silas after) and right there like a huge flashing sign, is my baby's name. I walk thru the antique store with tears flooding my eyes then face. I try to make sense of things. Why the reminders when I try so hard to avoid them? I returned yesterday from a week long trip. It was the hardest thing to come home and not be greeted by Silas. I was gone for a week and nothing bad happened. My 14 yr. old basset is doing great. Nobody died. I left for one day and I lost 5 yr. old, robust, healthy, full of life, Silas. Why? Why? Why? Why does that happen? Why the reminders? It's not like I will ever forget or like I don't constantly think about him anyway. I'm a person who tries to find logic, a reason for, an answer and I'm struggling with this. This event in my life that makes no sense and has no answers. I stare into emptiness, thinking of Silas and when someone asks me what's on my mind....I can't bring myself to tell them that I'm still hurting. There's nothing that can be said or done that would help anyway so I say nothing. The world didn't stop when I lost Silas so I've got to keep trudging on.

Hi, Treebyrd, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Silas' 3-month angel-versary.

Clinical professionals recognize that the first year of adjustment to the physical loss of a beloved companion is basically the hardest because it is filled with all the "first withouts" - - the first holiday, first vacation, first birthday, first anniversary- - and all the "this time last week, last month, last year" - - and our hearts break anew. It seems like every hour of every day is a heart-breaking reminder that our beloved companion is no longer physically with us.

Please let me try to offer you some comforting reassurance that what you are going through is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. This grief adjustment journey does not reconcile in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - it is a journey that can only be traveled in your own way and in your own time.

Treebyrd, I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief journey, but unfortunately I do not know of any. But I assure you that each of us here DO understand what you are going through, and we are here with you, for you, and beside you through every step of your journey for as long and as often as you need us.

Although "life goes on" - - bills get paid, jobs get done, laundry is washed, errands are done, etc. - - it is important that you allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve for your beloved Silas as you feel comfortable doing. And do not be embarrassed by your emotions overflowing in public -- if someone asks you if you are alright you can just simply say that you have lost a beloved family member - - no further explanations are needed.

Thank you again for sharing your and your beloved Silas' 3 month angel-versary with us, Treebyrd. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Silas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much for your words of comfort moon beam and for taking the time out of your life to support and comfort those of us traveling this horrible journey. It helps to share and to know I'm not alone.

Warmest regards,

Treebyrd

Treebyrd,

I just wept, tears streaming down my face, at my desk at work...reading your two month post - I just hit the two month mark on losing my kitty Henry (but I actually lost him - he got away from me when I was moving and I spent day and night exhausting every resource known to man trying to find him - an animal communicator told me that he has passed, which part of me believes, but it's not 100% proven - there is no real closure). I so feel your pain and grief - it is so raw and there is nothing you can do to ease the pain - it is relentless and tears your insides up - I have felt as if I've been gutted. There are no words to describe the immense pain. So for that, I am so sorry. I can visualize your baby as you describe him - what a beautiful boy.

They say the pain will lessen, but you'll never stop loving and missing them. I have to believe it is true. Just know you are not alone and the support here is so comforting and amazing. So glad you posted here - sharing in your grief can help with the healing process.

Sending you hugs and peace and well wishes ~

Ginger

Hi Ginger..... Sometimes I think it's getting easier but then I hit a wall again. I've not been the same since loosing Silas. I feel like everything is gray. There is no color in the world. The things I use to love ...I find no pleasure in. I really don't want to do anything and don't really want anyone around. I'm absorbed in my loss. What makes it even harder is....i only have a few days left with my 14 yr. old basset hound. Hes stopped eating so i know time is running out for us. But, I've lost before and I've gotten to the other side of my grief so I know it will get better.

I got Silas 5 years ago because I lost my cat Bandit. I hired a girl with a scent dog to come do a search for Bandit. We didn't find Bandit but I decided then tha I wanted to help find missing cats and dogs. Silas found his first missing kitty when he was 10 months old. He learned so fast and he was good. We had such an enormously strong bond. I love and miss him so much!!!! But, loosing Bandit brought me Silas so I have to believe there will be something good that will come from my losses.

There are some great websites for missing pet help. There is also a great missing pet support group on yahoo. There is always hope when a pet goes missing. Don't take the word of one animal communicator be ause it may cause you to give up. There are lots of resources for missing pets. I found one of my kitties 6 weeks after he went missing and two miles from home. Another one went missing several years later and I found her this past summer ( three years later ) in my subdivision. This was after posting big signs for 4 months,sending out flyers through the mail, going door to door, hiring findingtoto.com, etc. I just happened to be out running at just the right time to see her. She had on acollarwith a tag with someone else's phone number on it. There's hope.

Treebyrd

Hi, Treebyrd, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer some words of encouragement to you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share: "Sometimes I think it's getting easier but then I hit a wall again. I've not been the same since loosing Silas. I feel like everything is gray. There is no color in the world. The things I use to love ...I find no pleasure in. I really don't want to do anything and don't really want anyone around. I'm absorbed in my loss."

One of our Forum correspondents sums up what you are feeling in one of her topics, "just when I think things are getting better. .. . " This grief adjustment journey is filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds that can make us feel like we are getting nowhere fast - - that we will NEVER know happiness again in our hearts and lives. Our lives truly are never the same when we lose the sweet physical presence of our beloved companions. How CAN they be the same? It is impossible.

When we embrace our companions into our hearts, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe, and we surrender ourselves to them without reservation and without fear of rejection. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again. We are faced with the enormous agonizingly painful task of re-inventing our lives that no longer includes the sweet physical presence of our beloved companions. We literally have to find "new normals" that re-define the purpose of our lives. This takes time - - one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in our own way and in our own time. It doesn't happen in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - but it does happen even though we are not aware of the progress we are making at the time.

The good news, however, is that eventually the deep seering pain of sorrow does ease. One day when we least expect it we do begin to notice the beauty of color again, and we do find a renewed interest in our world. The memories that once brought us pain now bring us pleasure, our lives once again are beginning to find a new purpose and meaning, and our hearts can once again feel the promise and the warmth of our beloved companion's eternal love.

When we are faced with the reality of losing another companion so quickly after experiencing one loss, this intensifies our grief. I am so sorry that you are enduring the Anticipatory Grief for your precious Basset Hound. I know you both are cherishing every moment you have together.

I wish there were some words I could share with you that would take all this sorrow from you, Treebyrd, but I know they do not exist. I can only hope the words I do share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey for your beloved Silas, and as you travel your Anticipatory Grief journey with your precious Basset Hound. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam......your words do give great comfort.

Warmest regards,

Treebyrd

It was with a heavy and already broken heart that I had to let my old puppy, basst hound, "Milo" go. (Thursday november 8). Milo was 14 years and 3 1/2 months old. I'm so lucky and greatful to have had him for so many years. I was afraid that I wouldn't know when it was time to let him go but Milo made it clear that he was tired and ready. I've never been faced with this situation before so it was so very sad, scary and guilt ridden. Milo was gone before the injection was completed. Gone without a struggle or so much as a sigh so I know he was ready and it was time. I have to rely on the opinion of my vet when he said thatMilo was not coming back yet there is that part of me that wonders. I hope you are running in sunny fields sweet Milo. You are greatly loved and missed immensely!

Treebyrd,
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Milo knows how loved he is. My thoughts are with you.

-Kelly

Hi, Treebyrd, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Milo. Losing a companion is never easy, -- losing more than one companion in a short period of time intensifies our grief.

Even though you know your beloved Milo was ready to transition home to the angels, and is now restored to his former youthfulness in the company of your beloved Silas, this is little comfort to a heart that is overwhelmed with sorrow. Treebyrd, I truly DO understand the deep sorrow and grief pain you are feeling. I wish there were some miraculous words I could say that would take the pain in your heart away. Unfortunately, I know in reality there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe your heart right now. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship and earnest attempts to try to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Milo and Silas with us, Treebyrd. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam