I love him so much. I adopted him from the Humane Society when I was 22 and he was 3. I'll be turning 40 this year.

Murfy is now 20 years old and we have been together most of my adult life. He was one of three in our household, but he was MY cat. As I was his chosen "person" to be with always. Pook, my brother's cat, passed away in March at age 19. My Mom's cat "Sassy" is 14 and still going strong.

As of late, Murfy's been spending all of his time curled up on my chair at the kitchen table. Over the past year, he's been slightly wobbily at balancing at high places. The only thing unusual about his personality, was that he had stopped jumping up on my chest in the evening to curl up and sleep or be petted while I sat back to watch TV and play on my iPad. He not being a creature of habit over extended periods of time, I really didn't think much of it, as it had only been for a couple of weeks. He still begged for food and treats, especially roasted chicken, during this much of this time.

Murfy has dropped some weight in the past 2-3 years, as is relatively normal for a senior cat. His coat is still magnificent and shiny as ever. But on Friday evening, July 27th, he just stopped eating or drinking voluntarily at all. His eyes looked a dull-gray instead of their usual bright, blue-green.

The next morning, Saturday, July 28th, I brought him in to see the vet. He did an exam, senior blood screen, and x-rays. The following day, I brought in a sample and they also did a urine test. (He had no urine in his bladder for them to extract.) During the exam, he was dehydrated, so they gave him an IV. That seemed to perk him up a bit. The Dr. felt what he thought was stool in his intestines. He then gave us a feeding syringe to hand-feed Murfy soft foods. The vet had told me he really couldn't tell anything from the x-rays. Murfy's heart and lungs appeared normal. Next, was to wait a day for the results of the screening tests.

The following afternoon, Sunday, July 29th, we brought in Murfy's urine sample and received the information about the blood test results. Remarkably, all of Murfy's screenings were in the normal range, except for his Pancreas. (I can't recall what the numbers were exactly.) The vet said nearly all of his numbers are great considering his age. He suggested giving him Sub-Q fluids and continue feeding him through a syringe and watching for any changes. Then on Monday, July 28th, we received a call that Murfy's urinalysis showed he had an infection and they placed him on an anti-biotic (Clavamox 62.5 mg per mil) for 7 days. He received his first dose on Monday eve, July 30th.

I did some Internet research on "Pancreatitis" and was hopeful for a full recovery. The symptoms seemed to match and and we were doing all the right things. However, by the middle of the week, the only noticeable change was that Murfy stopped sleeping on the chair and moved down to the hardwood floors underneath the table. (Despite our having pet steps placed nearby that he could walk up.) So I placed a thermal cat mat down there to keep him comfortable and warm. The weather's been in the upper 80's or 90's the past week, and we don't have air-conditioning. Therefore, I think he changed places in order to stay clearer of my small dog and because it was easier to get to without climbing.

This past Friday, August 3rd, we ran out of Sub-Q fluids and brought Murfy back in for a re-check. He's still not wanting to eat or drink anything on his own and mainly just rests or sleeps. He continues holding his head up at things of interests and likes being petted and brought outside into the sunlight. He doesn't do much while he's out there, just likes to soak up the sun. He still manages, however, to bring himself over to the potty box when needed and fortunately has not had diarrhea or vomited anything up at all.

Nevertheless, the vet was now less optimistic about Murfy's recovery, given his advanced age and lack of significant improvement. He was still dehydrated when the Dr. did the skin test and his stomach felt full of water. He had gained over half a pound in less than a week. The Dr. said he feels a "mass" of what could be "fecal matter" or it could be a "tumor" in his intestines. There is no way to know for certain. Even with a $400 ultra-sound, he would still need to perform a biopsy to be sure. Though, he advised strongly against it, for to operate on a 20-year old cat, it would be nearly impossible for him to survive the invasive-type surgery. We are just going to have to wait and see.

Yesterday, Sunday, August 5th, I called the vets office to question whether I should continue giving him Sub-Q fluids if he's already retaining so much water. Also, Murfy has not defecated for the past 2 days. The receptionist said she'd ask the doctor, and when she called back, asked me to bring him back in first for a recheck, which are only $10.

I brought him back in and the Dr. said he no longer felt dehydrated and that he didn't feel any fecal matter in his rectum. He instructed us to give Murfy the entire can of Science Diet A&D that we had already been feeding him via syringe. He also said to watch for vomiting, as it could mean that it was a tumor blocking the passage of nutrients through Murfy's intestines.

Before we left I also asked about giving him another urinalysis, since his anti-biotic treatment was about to run out. This time, the Dr. said he didn't want to stress the cat by forcefully extracting the urine, and for me to bring in another sample from home.

Since yesterday, have had a difficult time getting an entire can down him. Maybe about 3/4 of a can is all. He did urinate this morning quite a large amount, that was brought in for testing, but still no stools. I just called and they told me there was no longer any infection in Murfy's urine. I have about 2-3 days left of Sub-Q fluids before bringing him back in again.

I'm still holding out hope that this will pass, but the reality is beginning to set in, which brings me here. Any words of advice or support will be much appreciated. Thank you,

-L

(Photo: Murfy (left) and Pook (right))

Hi, Inessence, please permit me to offer you my sincerest condolences on the physical decline of your precious Murfy. The Anticipatory Grief journey is a very difficult one filled with many different emotions. It is a journey that brings to the forefront of our minds and hearts that our precious companion's earthly journey is coming to a close with us - - and this is a very painful "reality check" to deal with -- both emotinoally and physically.

It sounds like you and your veterinary provider are doing everything in your human and humane ability to provide loving care for your precious Murfy. Unfortunately our precious companion's physical bodies are like ours - - they are not designed for immortality on this side of eternity. There comes a time that one of the hardest things that we - - their human caregivers - - can only do is try to keep our companions comfortable and happy as they begin their transition journey home to the angels. It sounds like Murfy's earthly journey is now focused on "quality of life", and only you can determine when his "quality of life" is being replaced by pain and suffering. I hope your veterinarian is offering you guidance and support and compassion during this time, Inessence.

There is an adage, "where there's life, there's hope", and this is certainly true for your precious Murfy. Because of his very senior age, it may take his physical body awhile to respond to the treatments he has received and resume his usual activity. You may want to check with your veterinarian about giving your precious Murfy a dose of Laxatone - - it is a paste that helps keep the solid waste emissions system in working order due to bouts of constipation - - and hairballs. It may be worth a try.

Whatever happens, Inessence, one of the many things you need to remember during this Anticipatory Grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Murfy with us, Inessence. He is soooooo handsome - - very photogenic. I hope today is treating you and your precious Murfy kindly. I know you are savouring every moment you have together, as he is as well. Please know you and your precious Murfy are in my thoughts and prayers, Inessence, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Moon Beam. I'm waiting for a response from the vet about the medication you suggested. Though, last night Murfy finally did his business...Twice! He made it to the litter box, but can't hold the proper position, so it got all over his backside. Poor baby had to suffer two half-bathes! I made an appointment for him tomorrow with another bet to get a 2nd opinion (plus a groom back there!)

Inessence, I hope your little Murfy gets better. It's a sign of improvement that he did go to the litter box twice. I hope that the meds will help him. He is a beautiful cat!

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Murfy are doing. Congratulations to your little boy for his "success" with his potty needs. Yeah, sometimes life does get messy. My beautiful baby girl Abbygayle was a long-haired mixed Tabby / Persian and there were times when her loving brother had to alert me that she needed a good cleaning after potty time. Although she was quite upset at the indignity of it at the time, she was ever so grateful afterward.

A second opinion is always helpful when our precious furkids have serious medical challenges. This is not a negative reflection on the care they are receiving from their primary care physician. Quite the contrary - - sometimes an independent medical evaluation can help the PCP in the diagnosing and appropriate treatment. Please let us know how the appointment goes today.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Murfy kindly, Inessence, and you both will have a comfortable and peaceful evening together. Please know you and your precious Murfy are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My baby Murfy seems to be weakening today. Yesterday, the 2nd vet said his bloodwork showed a low numbers for his red blood cells, kidneys and pancreas. He put him on prescription food lower in fat that's easier on the pancreas and cut the Science Diet AD feedngs in half. He also told me Murfy did indeed have infection in his 2nd urinalysis, which I was really upset about. The doctor gave him an antibiotic that lasts for two weeks. They also gave me medicine to give him to help raise his red blood cell count. Murfy's temperature was very low, like 92 degrees. The doc told me he did not see a light at the end of the tunnel....

Right now, I have his bed at my side by the couch and he is resting comfortably. I wish I could keep him warmer without dehydrating him. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Pure love being ripped away.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Murfy are doing. It usually takes awhile for the effects of the anti-biotics to go completely through the system, and when a test is run before that happens, it can give a "false negative" that no infection is present. I am so glad that the doctor who has given you a second opinion ran a second test to verify the earlier one. I hope and pray the medication he is on now will be of better help to him.

It is heartbreaking to watch our precious companion's physical bodies become frail with age, illness, injury, and to know beyond all doubt there will come a time when they will no longer be physically with us - - when we will be faced with having to make the most difficult decision we will ever have to make - - to mercifully and lovingly ease their journey home to the angels. But until that time comes, Inessence, I know you and your precious Murfy are savouring every moment you have together, for this is precious time for the both of you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Murfy kindly. Please know you and your precious Murfy are in my thoughts and prayers, Inessence, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Please help!

Can anyone in the know recommend a decent low-fat food that can be syringe fed to a cat with kidney problems and pancreatitis? Murfy became distressed last night shortly after feeding him the Science Diet AD, so now I'm quite leery of giving it to him. I almost thought we were going to lose him.

Please check out these links, it may help: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qi...20065737AAz3NaQ

http://www.carolonpets.com/blog/pancreatic...-dogs-and-cats/

Gave him some chicken baby food in a syringe and am keeping vigil tonight.

Spiritualized - Broken Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9xPNaq9uec...be_gdata_player

Hi, Inessence, you can make a syringe paste with the A / D by mixing it with enough water to draw it into the syringe. I had to do this with my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle the last week of her earthly journey due to end stage cancer. Please know you and your precious Murfy are in my thoughts and prayers, Inessence. Please let us know how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Inessence, I hope your Murfy is doing a bit better. The chicken baby food should be fine as long as it does not have garlic or onions in it in any form, because those are bad for cats. Since he wasn't doing so well on the A/D it was probably best to stop feeding it to him and give him some human grade food instead. I know they usually recommend the A/D for cats that had surgery or need to recover. With his kidney problems he should have been on the k/d instead. The articles I recommended to you mentioned that sometimes pancreatitis can cause kidney problems. Have you tried some holistic medicines?

Yes, I had brought him in to see a holistic vet on Thursday. He's lying next to me on the couch right now and seems to be resting comfortably. Looking at him now, if I allow my mind to wander I can almost forget he's about to leave me. The emptiness I feel upon at the renewed realization is palpable. I feel as if my soul is dying.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Murfy are doing. Please let me try to offer you some words of comfort as you share with us: "The emptiness I feel upon at the renewed realization is palpable. I feel as if my soul is dying."

Inessence, right now a part of you is going through a painful transformation both emotionally and physically. We live in a physically-oriented world governed by the 5 senses of taste, touch, smell, sound, and sight. Every time our companions touch us, kiss us, they are literally imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us from all the millions of other people on the planet. Scientific studies prove that there is literally a chemical exchange that occurs every time we touch, and are touched by, our companions. When we are faced with the traumatic reality that they will not always be physically with us, our bodies go through a literal physical withdrawal, and it is indeed very painful.

Some people think that if they try to suppress their feelings that it will make the pain less intense. Clinical studies have proven the opposite. It is vitally important for you to feel free to express the deep sorrow you are feeling - - in the way that is most comfortable for you, for suppressed grief will eventually come to the surface and may be accompanied by both medical and emotional challenges.

I know I stress this a lot in my messages, but it is imprtant that you know you are not alone in your and your precious Murfy's journey. Grieving - - including Anticipatory Grief, - - can make us feel isolated, alone, abandoned. I promise you, Inessence, each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your and your precious Murfy's journey.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Murfy with us, Inessence. I hope today is treating you both kindly. Please know you and your precious Murfy are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Though not particularly religious, I keep singing this song to my boy when he stirs to help soothe him. It's from an old children's record I had as a kid.

Peace

From Music Machine - The Fruit of the Spirit

Peace is when the wind stops blowing
Peace is where the sun is showing
Knowing that my Daddy's home
God gives me peace

Peace, peace
I think I understand
Peace, peace
Is holding Jesus' hand

Peace is when I'm tucked in bed
When my mommy pats my head
Peace is smiling while I sleep
God gives me peace

Peace, peace
I think I understand
Peace, peace
Is holding Jesus' hand

Hi, Inessence, what a very lovely song for you to sing to your precious Murfy, and I hope it brings comfort to your heart as well. The only thing that brings me comfort in not having my beloved companions here with me is knowing they are now in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father Creator, and the hope of being reunited with them in heaven's perfect garden at my appropriate time. I hope this will bring comfort to your heart, too, Inessence. One does not need "religious belief" to have this comfort and hope - - it is what you believe and hope for in your heart that counts.

I hope today is treating you anda your precious Murfy kindly, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you and your precious Murfy are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My baby's gone.

Hi, Inessence, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Murfy. You and Murfy fought the good fight, and now he is restored to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels. I know your heart is shattered with the deepest seering pain of sorrow you will know on this side of eternity, and right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe it. But please know you are among friends here who share your sorrow and your journey now as you begin the painful journey of adjusting your daily life that no longer includes the physical presence of your beloved Murfy. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Inessence, thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Murfy with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Inessence, please accept my sincere sympathies on the loss of your beloved Murfy. I am very sorry for your loss. Murfy was a beautiful boy kitty, and had been with you such a long time. I know you must be hurting so much, and I wish I could say something to take away the pain. Grief can really wear us down, so please make sure you take good care of yourself and get enough rest.

Hello,
You had left me a kind comment about my Rocky so I was perusing the topics and saw this, and knew you'd mentioned your cat was named Murfy, so read it. It was very compelling, but sad, as I knew the outcome..but from reading what happened, it's obvious how much you loved him and did everything you and the vet thought would help. I just never know what to say about things like this because nothing will bring your boy back or make you not sad..but he loved you, and knew you loved him. That's what I keep telling myself..I have to believe that. He knew you were trying to do things to make him better. He knew you wanted him to feel good and happy. I'm so, so sorry. Virtual hug.

It's been one week ago tonight. I miss him so much. Been thinking a lot about death and dying and the finality of it all. After a 5 hour marathon crying session last night, a thought finally calmed me and allowed me to sleep--Drawing up my own Will and Testament. This afternoon I downloaded the paperwork and began the process.

Tuesday, I finally get to pick up Murfy's ashes. I had called them today. They never bothered to let me know they were ready. I got him a beautiful urn. The color even matches his coat. I'll post a pic if I can find one online, or take a photo after I pick him up tomorrow.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Getting our beloved companion's ashes back is a two-sided coin: one side is the relief of having them back with us where they belong while the other side is yet another "reality check" that they are no longer with us in the physical form our hearts long for them to be. I hope you will find comfort in having your beloved Murfy's ashes home with you.

The physical loss of a beloved companion does make us more aware of how fragile and finite our physical bodies are. There really is a comfort in drawing up a Will because it helps us to focus on how we want to be remembered - - it is an expression of how we live through our earthly journey of what is important to us. And a Will is not engraved in stone - - it can be changed as we grow and mature in our experiences.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Inessence, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Murfy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. I will look forward to sharing a picture of your beloved Murfy's urn whenever possible. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Inessence, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

moon beam, here is a link to the identical urn I have for my beautiful boy. http://php2.secure-shopping.com/angelsdest...?productid=1534

It has a white and silver marble swirl pattern that almost matches his fur. <3

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing the beautiful urn you have selected for your beloved Murfy. I hope that every time you look at it your heart will be comforted.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Inessence, and that you are finding comfort in having your beloved Murfy's ashes back home with you. I hope you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Murfy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Inessence, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today it's been two weeks since I've had my boy with me. I still subconsciously expect to see him every time I enter or leave a room. I'm still waiting for his soft fur to brush against my face as he moves to curl up on my chest just over my heart.

Camelot - Before I Gaze at You Again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr9Fopyrofo...be_gdata_player

Just watched this clip http://videosift.com/video/Futurama-Frys-D...-Ending-and-Sad and the beautiful song accompanying it. Now I'm sitting at my desk with tears streaming. I miss my boo so much.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. During the deep grief it seems our "survival" are measured by the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months - - and years - - of our adjustment to the physical separation from our beloved companions - - whoever the life form. But each minute, hour, day, week, month - - and year - - are living testimonies to the eternal love we share with them - - to the eternal love you share with your beloved Murfy. It is important to not look down the "future" road right now but to just focus on the moment at hand. I promise you one day when you least expect it your heart will be comforted in knowing that your beloved Murfy continues to share your earthly journey - - that he is forever IN your heart - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Inessence, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Murfy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Yesterday marked one month since I lost him. Today, I went shopping and "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan came on over the loudspeaker music. It is another song I ruminate over while thinking about my boy. I left the store in tears in the middle of the song.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and your and your beloved Murfy's one month angel-versary. The first year of adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companions is one of the hardest experiences we will know, for every moment of every hour of every day of every week of every month is a constant reminder of not having their precious physical presence with us and adjusting to the "first withouts". Even after several years for me there are still some songs that I cannot listen to all the way through without a mist coming to my eyes and a quiver to my chin - - but now these moments are not quite so painful. I know right now this seems impossible for your heart to believe, but I promise you one day when you least expect you will be thinking of your beloved Murfy or listening to a song that brings a treasured memory to mind and your heart will once again be able to smile - - even if there is a tear on your cheek.

For now, Inessence, I hope you know you are surrounded by each of us on this wonderful forum who truly know what you are feeling and are offering you our collective and individual strength, encouragement, and support to help you through your adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Inessence, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Murfy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Inessence, the first month is probably the hardest. It will take time to adjust to the "new normal" and life without Murfy. I know what you mean about that song. I heard it after I lost my Danny and it made me cry too. I hope today is treating you kindly.

Thank you moonbeam and DannysMom. "Life without Murfy" became more tangibly real today after laundering my darks. I don't know if you've ever lived with a white Persian, but their hair gets EVERYWHERE. It took a couple of launders, but today I noticed hardly any hair in the lint catcher, or more remarkably, on my clothes. It was very bittersweet.

Inessence, thank you for letting us know how you're doing. I've never had a long-haired cat, but even my short-haired ones left plenty of fur around. After my Danny died I didn't even vacuum for a while, because I couldn't stand the thought of vacuuming up his fur and having it gone, so I know how you feel about seeing less and less of your Murfy's fur in the lint catcher. Did he liked getting brushed? He had such a beautiful coat.

Hi DannysMom,

Murfy liked being brushed only on his back and belly. His hind legs and tail he hated having done. Today is the anniversary of week 7 without him. I'm only now really starting to feel his absence. Like, it's finally becoming 'real' and not just a bad dream.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Murfy's 7 week angel-versary.

When we experience a traumatic event in our lives - - and the physical loss of a beloved companion qualifies as a traumatic event - - our minds and bodies go into an automatic "survival" state which includes shock as a means of protecting us from becoming so overwhelmed by the "reality" of what has happened. As the shock diminishes we are faced with a new level of "reality" to process - - which is why now you are feeling like the physical absence of your beloved Murfy is "finally becoming 'real' and not just a bad dream." And this is yet another reason why this grief adjustment journey is one of the hardest experiences we will know on this side of eternity - - for it is a journey that can only be traveled in our own way in our own time.

I am so smiling at how your beloved Murfy enjoyed being brushed, and I can relate to your clothing being "fur catchers" of your beloved Murfy's beautiful white fur. My beloved beautiful baby girl Abbygayle had long thick luxurious grey fur and she, too, enjoyed being brushed - - except for her pantaloons. People at work would often comment on my clothes donning her beautiful grey fur and I would think to myself how lucky I am to carry the evidence of her with me wherever I go. After every brushing I would clean the brush and put her fur in a plastic baggie to keep - - so I still have her beautiful fur as a treasured memory of her earthly journey with me.

It will seem that each day of this grief adjustment journey brings a new awareness that your beloved Murfy is no longer physically with you. I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief journey, Inessence, but unfortunately I do not know of one. This is one of the reasons why I stress it is important for you to know you are not alone in your journey - - for this grieving can make one feel very alone and isolated. We are here for you, Inessence, to share with you every step of your journey - - the not so bad days, the days that seem to be fairly decent, and the days when the deep sorrow seems to be more than what your heart can bear.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Inessence, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Murfy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

moon_beam, I love that you have so much of fur saved. Although, if I saved all that he'd shedded through the years I'm sure I could knit a King-Sized comforter! Nothing, and I mean nothing sheds like a Silver Persian. It literally just hangs in the air. I used to shop for clothing based on whether or not it was a 'Murfy-hair magnet'

I did get a lock of Murfy's hair saved as a momento. I had to ask my Mom to cut it for me while he was sick because it was to painful for me to do it. Just yesterday, I was cleaning underneath the couch cushions and found a kitty claw and wondered if it was Murfy's. And whether or not to save it. (I didn't.)

Just stopping by to pay homage to the 6th month mark without my "Boo".

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to put his collar in his urn. The dog went crazy sniffing at the collar after I brought it out. I also finally changed the profile picture on my Facebook page back to an actual photo of me.

So tomorrow marks the 1-year deathaversary of my beautiful boy, Murfy. I've been dreading this date like a Mother dreads giving her child's age in 'years'. It just feels like my baby is getting further away from me. I know tomorrow is going to be a really sad day.

Almost 1 year to the day I lost my first cat Pooky, and 6 months after Murfy passed, my 15 year old last surviving kitty, Sassy, suddenly went blind. First they thought high-blood pressure or a stroke, but over the past six months she's been diagnosed with a probable brain tumor. I haven't written about it yet because she's still eating and in good health, but her eye-sight is likely lost for good. I currently have her on blood-pressure meds, chinese herbs, and she's receiving acupuncture from a holistic vet.

Just before Sassy's blindness, I rescued another kitty from the Humane Society. He is a black Persian named "Brave". See pic.



Thanks for listening. I just keep coming back here to express my thoughts.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Murfy's 1 year angel-versary. Just because the calendar commemorates an event such as when your beloved Murfy joined the angels, it does not mean that the sorrow of not having his sweet precious physical presence with you automatically and magically disappears. Rather, it simply means that you have endured the first year of one of the most painful experiences you will ever know on this side of eternity, and hopefully you are beginning to be able to remember your beloved Murfy with a happier heart.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Sassy is doing. Cancer is such an incidious illness, and I am so very sorry that you and your precious Sassy are having to travel this journey at all, and particularly so close after losing the physical presence of your beloved Pooky and Murfy. I am so glad she seems to be doing well with her BP medication, her holistic treatments and herbal medicines. Even though her sight is impaired, she has the loving comfort and reassurance that you are there for her - - and this makes all the difference in the world in her ability to adjust without her vision. Please let us know how she's doing, Inessence. We are here for you.

And thank you so much for sharing your new family member with us, - - your precious Brave. What a handsome lad he is!!! I hope he and Sassy are good friends, and that little Brave will become Sassy's "guide" and comforter.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Sassy and Brave kindly, Inessence, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Pooky's and Murfy's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Sassy and Brave are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon beam. And thank you again for being here for us.

Today marks the 2nd year without my Murfy. Sitting here crying at my desk.

Hi, Inessence, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Murfy's two year angel-versary. Indeed, the angel-versaries can be very difficult to endure as they remind us that our beloved companions are no longer physically with us. No matter how much times continues with our earthly journey there will be times when we will be thinking of our beloved companions and our hearts and arms will ache to hold them one more time.

Hopefully in time your sorrow will ease so that you can remember your beloved Murfy with a happy heart. I hope today is treating you and your precious Sassy and Brave kindly, Inessence, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Pooky's and Murfy's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Sassy and Brave are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I am so sorry for your loss. Your recent entry tells me how much you still miss your Boo. When I lost MacKenzie on 11 July, I found this site and remember reading this entry of your two year anniversary, and this morning, happened across it again. This time I read the entire thread. I empathize and understand your loss intimately. I hope that in the last two years, you have been able to find love in the cat you adopted. It's very hard to not try to replace the love you lost, but rather accept new love.

Thinking of you today and hope that you are doing OK.

Thank you Monique. Sorry I didn't see this sooner. Once again I find myself ruminating near the 3rd year anniversary of Murfy's passing. I came across this blog http://www.tickld.com/x/old-man-explains-d...eving-young-man which says in part:

"As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

So here I am, experiencing a crashing wave, though far less frequently now. I dreamt of him the other night and in my dream I was still angry. "How could you leave me?" I asked. Receiving no response. I guess you could say I don't accept loss very well. <g> This was unusual from previous dreams I've had where he's usually either "missing" or still sick.

Brave, my "new" kitty is sweet as can be. He hates the dog though and usually cordons himself off in the kitchen area, which is off-limits to her (the dog.)

thank you for visiting and sharing my journey. i read the story of the waves, and this is so very true. a keeper. i'm going to post this in several places here. i hope it will help others as it has helped me.

sending loving light and prayers for your sweet sassy. another member posts about her beloved lost peep and he visits her via little white butterflies. lately i have seen many yellow butterflies. my sweet maija is near. ever since she passed, little yellow butterflies visit, sometimes more than other times. after losing madelynne, many have fluttered nearby, including on my drive home from work. i hope that you have butterflies visiting you as well.