Hershey
September 4, 2003 ~ July 2, 2012

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me and Hershey on my graduation day last month. My mom yelled at me because I refused to take any pictures without him

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one of my favorites. he looks so innocent

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swimming!

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him and his favorite teddy that he would try to bury

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this just makes me laugh every time

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us cuddling a few months ago

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sleeping on his bed...that part of the couch is all sunken in because he would always lay there


My Hershey was tragically killed on July 2, 2012 by strangulation. We have a tent in our backyard because we are hosting a party and there are two ropes hanging down from it to keep it in place. My dog was on his leash and he wrapped himself around the rope so much and so tightly that he suffocated himself. My brother in the one who let him outside and the one who found him; he said he forgot he was outside and couldn't remember how long he was outside in total, but we believe it wasn't more than an hour. My brother came into my room screaming saying Hershey became tangled up outside, and when I first saw my dog, he was slightly hanging above the ground. A part of the rope was chewed off, in an effort to break free. On the way to the vet, I was holding him and I heard a slight wheezing noise and there was a snot bubble coming from his nose. I thought he was still alive but the vet said that rigor mortis already set in. My brother said when he first saw him, there was a fly on him and that just killed me. I don't know how long he was out there or how long he suffered.

I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooo guilty I wasn't there for my baby. I feel like he was looking for one of us to save him. He would always get tangled and he didn't understand the concept of going the other way and I'd always have to pick him up and walk him out of the mess. I sometimes just feel like he hates us. How could I let that happen to my poor baby...

I woke up around 11:30 and I wanted cuddles so I was going to ask my brother where Hershey was, but I didn't and I just feel like everything could have changed if I did. In the mornings, he usually goes under my parents bed for some reason and if you try to get him out, he bites HARD so I just decided he would come out eventually. I didn't even know he was outside.

My brother feels like it is all his fault, because he left him outside. He threw up all his food and we had to take him to the doctor to get pills to calm him down. He forgot he was out there, and I admit I did that a few times too. Every time I did, I said I was sorry and gave him kisses and extra treats. Just a few days ago, we put him in our pool and he was swimming, even though he didn't like the water. And just the night before he died, there was a bad storm and he always came to me and scratched my door because he was terrified. He always came to me when he was scared. We cuddled and that was the last time I saw him alive. He was also deathly afraid of fireworks, and 4th of July was just the worst because he wasn't there for me to protect him. I spent the entire holiday in my bed and didn't eat until 11pm. I am just so, so miserable. I break down in tears every time I come home because he would just bark and jump all over you as soon as you walked through the doors. When I cried, he would lick the tears off my face and when I had boo boos he would lick them and it made them feel so much better. I cuddle with all his animals now, and they sit on his little bed. All of his stuff is on my bed.

We got him when he was a puppy and I am the one who named him. He was really dark brown and I thought he looked like a little chocolate bar. He was just so funny. Every time he got wet, he would run around the house like a maniac and run into walls. If you said the word "cheese" he would go nuts, he loved cheese. He loved my grandma and I'm sure she was his favorite because she spoiled him. He had this stuffed bear and sometimes he would walk around the ENTIRE house looking for a place to bury it. If you tried to talk to him, he'd ignored you because he was in the zone. He walked a certain way when he did that; the pitter patter on the kitchen tile...if you heard that, you just knew he had that bear. He would whimper when he was around other dogs, he liked people way more. We took him to obedience school once but had to stop because he would just sit in the corner shaking. He'd always liked to lay on my bed because I have a large window and everyday he would look out and wait for my parents to get home. It was so funny just walking into my room and see him sprawl out like that.

It would be so much different if he was just old...he was almost 9. I lost another dog to cancer, but for me, it's just sooo different. He didn't deserve to die this way. I would give my limbs just to have him back...he was one of the only things on this earth I knew I loved. I just don't know how I can live with this. All I see is my poor dog hanging from the ground. I just need to see him and say I am sorry, I feel like my dog hates me for letting this happen to him, as he always came to me to protect him. I don't know how I can live. I know I will ALWAYS feel guilty. He gets jealous easily and I feel like he would hate me if I got another dog. He even got jealous when I hugged my dad, he would bark and jump all over us until we let him join. I just don't know...

Hello Hershey's mom

My heart is crying with you over the passing of beautiful Hershey (what a great name). I'm at work now, so I can't write a long reply (I'll do that when I get home), but I want to encourage you to do one thing - and that's going to be VERY difficult: try to get the horrible image out of your mind. Some images are just too horrible to have even seen and this is one of them. I have to protect myself from some books, movies, newspapers, etc. because I know they would poison my mind forever. Every time you think of that image, immediately replace it with one of Hershey tip toe-ing across the kitchen with his bear. It will take a long time, but please try to do it - you want to excise that image as soon as possible.

Love and support.
Will write again later.

Gretta's mom

Hi, kaairo, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Hershey. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so tragically only intensifies the grief.

Kaairo, this grief journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time and can make us feel like we are literally going insane. It is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. Unfortunately one of the emotions we all experience is guilt, and it is one of the hardest to reconcile. Guilt comes from looking back and our minds torturing us with all the "what ifs" "why didn't Is" "why did Is" "I should haves" - - and on and on and on. It is very obvious from what you have shared is that you love your beloved Hershey with all your heart and soul, and would have walked through hot roiling lava or over hot burning coals to give him a happy and healthy earthly journey. Your beloved Hershey knows what happened to him is an accident, and that you would happily give your life to turn back the hands of time that he would be saved from this tragic accident. For different reasons I so understand how haunted you and your brother are feeling, and I wish with all my heart I could take this horror away from you - - but I do not have that power. Unfortunately you and your brother must try to find the strength and courage to continue with your earthly journey in a way that will honor your beloved Hershey and the eternal love bond you share, for this is what he wants, and he wants you to do so enjoying your lives while holding the treasured memories you share close to your heart.

Kaairo, this grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. One of the many things you and your brother need to remember is that neither of you are alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. There are no judgments made here, kaairo. You and your brother are among friends here.

I know this is very difficult to understand right now but I hope and pray that somehow you will know that your beloved Hershey's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as he always has and always will. He is forever in your heart and your memories, and nothing in heaven or on earth can ever take his sweet Precious Spirit away from you. He is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I also know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss that is in your heart. I can only hope and pray that the words I share with you will somehow offer you a measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Hershey with us, kaairo. He is adorable. Please know you and your brother are in my thoughts and prayers, kaairo, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

First I want to say that I think Hershey is just so beautiful. I especially love your graduation picture with him. He looks so proud of you! I know there is nothing people can say to take away the hurt in your heart, but I so badly wanted to reach out to you and say I am so sorry for what happened to your sweet baby. It breaks my heart that you are afraid he might hate you for what happened. In my opinion, dogs are the purest of souls that have ever walked this earth. They are incapable of feeling hate. I am sure your Hershey baby never felt anything but love for you all the days of his life. Honey I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm not really sure what else to say. I know the heartache of losing your best friend tragically. It feels like your world has been shattered. It is just terrible. I know all too well that unbearable pain. It has been about two months since my baby died and I still cry every day. It seems sometimes that life can be horribly unfair. Just know that you are blessed to have had such a sweet beautiful boy to share your life with. I'm sure he loved you more than you can ever imagine.

Hello again, Kaairo

I'm SO sorry that such a beautiful young person like you has had this kind of trauma in your life already. It's too much for your body and mind to bear - so they're helping you by going into shock. You might be paralyzed for days - just spending long times curled up with Mr Hershey's things, crying bitter tears. You might run out into a field where no one can hear you and scream until you're hoarse. Whatever it takes, Kaairo, do it! You've experienced far more than the passing of a beloved animal. Yours is a downright trauma so you must take extra care of yourself. Never be afraid to ask for help - from whoever you need it.

Please believe me, Hershey most definitely DOES NOT hate you for what happened. Our special soul-mate animals know - really know - what is in our hearts. As Moonbeam said, Hershey can and does understand that this was an accident. As I said in an earlier message, please, PLEASE, try really hard to rid your mind of that terrible photo it's replaying over and over. Each and every time, consciously substitute another image of Hershey - like my favorite one of him sleeping in his bed on the couch. When we humans can't sense someone or something - can't hear or see or touch it, we experience it as not being, as being gone. This is NOT TRUE of our soul-mate animals. Soul-mates? Yes. Rarely, but oftener than we think, a very special animal comes into our lives - carrying a piece of our soul as we (unbeknownst to us) are carrying a part of his or her soul - sort of like puzzle pieces. A special, intense love rushes in - and why wouldn't it? We're actually two parts of the same being. That is me and Gretta and that's you and Hershey. One of the blessings of passing into the Perfect World is that the sweet balm of forgetfulness acts to send all pain, fear, loneliness and everything else negative we may have experience while on earth into the "sea of forgetfulness, never to be remembered again." This has already happened to Hershey and one the day you join him in the Perfect World, it will happen to you, too.

Hershey loves you ... All the animals up above are singing about his love for you. A friend here on Lightning Strike wrote a poem for me when I was feeling remorse and guilt about the circumstances of Gretta's passing (an "ordinary" passing, if there is such a thing). Seven days from now, when your heart is strong enough to hear it, I'll send it to you. You're too fragile right now. But there WILL be a day when you are strong, even though you'll still have a Hershey-shaped hole in your heart.

Please know that Hershey's spirit is right there beside you and you will be OK in the end. (AND PLEASE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY MISTAKE!!)

In caring and concern,

Gretta's mom

Hershey's mom

I'm also writing to Donnie's mom - and one million apologies for getting your two love-bugs mixed up! Your stories are so heart-rending I just could not NOT reply. I'm sorry for my fuzzed up brain. Hershey loves you. Donnie's mom is absolutely right - dogs, the pure beings they are, cannot hate. Even poor little Benjamin (on this site) loved his rescuers. You know each others' hearts and he felt and feels the incredible love you have for him - every minute of his existence.

Wherever you are, keep cool today.

Gretta's mom

Thank you so much everyone, it means a lot. I have never been so miserable in my entire life

Dear kaairo, please accept my sincere sympathies on the loss of your precious Hershey. What a beautiful little boy! I so like your graduation photo and the photo where he is snuggled up with you in bed. Your Hershey was loved so much, and he knew that. Trust me, he does NOT hate you. There is no way you could have known this horrible accident would happen. I am so sorry that your little boy was taken from you in such a tragic way.

kaairo

I am so sorry-----I could just get past the first few words---I know the feeling to loose a pet thriugh an accident---It just breaks my heart!!!

Hello Kaairo

Just stopping by to see how you are doing. You are on my mind a lot - such a young person to have such a horrible trauma so early in life. I'd take it all on for you if only I could. Meanwhile, know that Hershey IS in the Perfect World - where he romps in eternal sunshine, drinks cool water, sleeps in cool shade, and most of all watches over you and loves and is loved by you. NOTHING can take that away.

Please take it slowly, my friend. Your Lightning Strike family and all our fur-babies who are with Donnie are sending you some strength to use today.

Blessings,

Gretta's mom

I'm doing better, but I still keep looking for my dog every time I go into the house. I was just at a pet store a few days ago and I miss having a dog so much. I want another one, but I feel bad for "replacing" Hershey. I just feel so empty and alone without a pet. I have a hamster, but it's not really the same. I really need a dog..

Hi, kaairo, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to offer you some words of encouragement.

I know from first hand experience how empty your life is now that your beloved Hershey is with the angels. Adopting another companion is truly a personal decision. Some folks adopt quickly because they need the love and affection of a precious companion and simply cannot endure loneliness of empty arms. Some folks wait until their deep grief eases, while other folks provide foster care for companions who are patiently waiting for a forever home. And some folks - - for whatever reason - - never adopt again or become involved wtth foster care. The decision to embrace a new companion into your heart and life is strictly YOUR decision, kaairo. There is no way in heaven or on earth that you will ever "replace" your beloved Hershey, for he has his own special place in your heart and life and memories for all eternity. This will never change no matter how many precious companions you will love during your earthly journey.

So do what you feel is right for YOU, kaairo. Follow your heart - - you can never go wrong doing that.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Hershey with us, kaairo. I hope today is treating you kindly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, kaairo, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi kaairo, I just wanted to say hello and see if you are doing okay. I know how you feel about wanting another dog. I miss the love and comfort and companionship. I am not ready yet, but I volunteer at my animal shelter and walk the doggies there. They are so full of love and it helps to heal my heart just a little. You can never replace your beloved Hershey by getting another dog, and he knows that. And trust me, he won't get jealous - jealousy is a bad feeling, and there are no bad feelings in heaven. I hope you are doing okay.

I am doing better, thanks everyone.

My dad had this made, I really like it
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Hi, kaairo, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the WONDERFUL marker your dad made for your beloved Hershey. What a beautiful gift to your beloved Hershey - - and to you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, kaairo, and thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Hershey with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Kaairo,

I'm very sorry to read about what happened to your darling dog.

Just wanted to add to the comments regarding getting a new dog - I can sense that you are torn on the issue, and feeling a bit guilty. However, there is no right or wrong time. You're not replacing your loved one, you are simply adding to your family and caring for a creature that needs your love and support. Love is not a finite resource. The more you give out, the more comes back to you.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks - if you need a dog by your side, then go for it.

What happened was a terrible, tragic accident. It is not your fault and you are not a bad owner. It is just life. Sometimes bad things happen.

CJ