We adopted Jas from a shelter just a year ago. He was older (11 or so), and had many health related issues. He also had been in two different shelters for a period of 6 months before we adopted him. Before that he had been a stray and when he was picked up, was in horrendous shape, health-wise and anxiety-wise.
It took him awhile to bond with us. He bonded with my 20 year old daughter and my other cat before finally bonding with me, completely.
When he finally did bond, I became a major source of comfort for him. He liked to snuggle up with my down pillows under blankets and take naps. He liked to lie against me and rock in the rocking chair. He was an unusual in the ways he liked to receive affection, but we just rolled with it.
When he came to us, he was much more aloof...he liked to go out and come in many times in a day, and we accomodated that. He preferred is water out on the porch, so that's where he had it.
His health began to decline in about January or February, but it was so subtle that we didn't notice it until he got stuck under a house last month. Over time he has spent more and more time just being a lazy kitty, and less time playing.
Last Thursday, I noticed that his walking was wierd. By Thursday evening he wasn't able to use his hind legs at all. I spent the weekend in denial. I thought that flea meds would clear things up, and that he would walk again. It didn't.
He couldn't stand up to use the litter box anymore, so I would lay him on a towel to pee, or he would try to crawl to make it and pee when he found that he just couldn't. My kitty was going down so fast.
I came to terms with the fact that we would need to end his suffering on Saturday night. I had him in bed with me, under the covers with his little head on my pillow. I awoke in the middle of the night from a dream to find him wide eyed and looking at me. I began to cry, and he reached out and put his paw on my chest, never taking his eyes from mine.
That was hard.
So I set about making the last of his time as comfortable as possible.
On Monday morning, his last day, all he wanted to do was be held and rocked in the chair. He lay there with his eyes open for the longest time, and eventually fell asleep while I held him and just rocked and rocked. It was the first time that he had wanted me to do that in a week or more. I think that he knew that he was dying. And I think that it was his way of getting human comfort and also of saying goodbye.
He ate some wet cat food with my other kitty, and then I took him outside so he could enjoy some water on the porch, and be out of the box that I had kept him in over the weekend, during the day.
Then, my daughter and I took him to the vet.
I took lots of pictures of Jas over the weekend, and videos too...the videos are on my youtube channel and hopefully will help others whose cats are suffering to let go a little sooner than I was able to.
I shared the pics on my blog, because Jaspurr's journey with us has been fully documented there, and I wanted to share the end of his life with those people who read my blog.
I can't believe how this is affecting me. My daughter feels the same way. We shared one year of Jaspurr's life, but as much as we loved him, we may as well have had him since he was a baby kitten.
What an amazing little spirit he was.
So trusting, and so loving, even in his final days, when it was so hard for him.
My daughter stayed away all weekend, and arrived on Monday, right before we took him in. She regrets not spending more time with Jas, even though he began to purr the moment she made eye contact with him as he lay on my bed. She lay down with him, and gave him pets before we took him out of our home for the last time.
Their eyes were on each other's as the vet injected the medicine that would end Jaspurr's suffering.
I'm so glad to have had the privelidge of sharing Jaspurr's last year with him. I wouldn't change that for the world. I would, however, have ended his suffering much sooner, if I had it to do over again.
Many lessons learned here. Over the last year...many many lessons.

Hi, jaspurrsperson, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Jaspurr. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

This grief journey is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time. Guilt is one of these emotions and it is one of the hardest to reconcile. Guilt comes from the looking back and all the "if onlys" "why didn't Is" "I should haves" "I wish I hads", etc. It is obvious to me as I read through your and your beloved Jaspurr's earthly journey that you did everything in your power to give Jaspurr a happy and healthy earthly journey. He needed this time to be with you as much as you needed this time to be with him before his transition home to the angels on Monday. There is no need for regret or guilt, jaspurrsperson. YOU were the people who gave him a home filled with love when no one else would. You made his final year of his earthly journey one filled with love and devotion. Please know that your beloved Jaspurr is eternally grateful to you for being his Forever Caregiver.

This grief journey is one of adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Jaspurr, and it is a very painful one both emotionally and physically. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. The love bond you and your beloved Jaspurr share is eternal - - it is not limited to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Jaspurr's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as he always has and always will. He is forever a part of you in your heart and your memories - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss in your heart. I can only hope the words I share with you will bring you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief journey. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone, jaspurrsmom. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Jaspurr with us, and for the wonderful picture. What a precious soul he is, and how blessed you are to have the privilege of his eternal devotion to you. I hope today is treating you kindly, jaspurrsperson, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

jaspurrsperson, I am very sorry for your loss. Taking one look at Jaspurr's photos is enough to see how special he was. He looks like such a sweet and loving kitty boy. I can only imagine how much you must miss him. That was so kind of you to adopt an older kitty. You gave him a happy, caring home. He was loved and well cared for. My heart goes out to you for your loss.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Hello Jaspurr Magoo's mom

What amazing pictures of an amazing cat! Love shines out from her eyes. Please accept my deepest sympathy on her passing. From your post I can tell that the two of you are (not were) soul-mates. soul-mates? Being who carry a piece of each other's soul - sort of like a puzzle piece - since time began and until time ends. This shared love is far beyond that shared in this earthly world. It is as wide as the universe. And .... true love does not diminish or fade away. JasPurr Magoo came from the perfect World - searched the universe over until she found you, her soul-mate, the one and only person in the universe who held her "puzzle piece". Then she put herself in your path you you two would discover each other and share an earthly life. A life full of a love that few people can understand - only those whose spirit-animal has found them.

Whoever made the universe decided that our fur-, fin-, feather-babies' lives earthly lives should be much shorter than ours. Who knows why? One thing we DO know is that we who have shared the love of our soul-mate must endure the one of the greatest heartaches there is on this earth. We're called upon to show the ultimate love for our soul-mate by setting them free to return to the Perfect World they came from. The moment they find us, we KNOW what is in store for us. But the gift of actually being found by and sharing an earthly life with our soul-mates is infinitely greater.

Now .... on earth it DOES NOT feel like it! Our hearts feel like they are being constantly shot at with a high powered rifle. The shock-and-awe period. Our bodies can't sustain this state for very long (althrough it seems like an eternity). Everything hurts. Their belongings - hurt. Their picture - hurt. Missing everything about them - major hurt. During these days or weeks, Magoo's mom, do whatever it takes to express your heart. (Sometimes you have to seek out a private place to do this!) And KNOW, really KNOW that Magoo is right there beside you, as always, and (spirits can do this) is sending down love from the Perfect World.

Blessings, Magoo's mom

Gretta's mom