Buddy showed up at our doorstep as a stray in the summer of 2010. He was very thin and had open sores on his shoulder and neck. My wife called to him (she’s a magnet for stray animals) and he came to her. We lured him into a large cat carrier with some food, fed him and took him to the vet immediately. Very long story short, we ended up keeping him. We have two other tom cats and two small old dogs. Buddy tested positive for FIV so we kept him in a separate bedroom till we could figure out what to do. He was a very young adult, barely out of kittenhood.
A year later, he’d filled out beautifully. He was long and handsome with the sweetest meow. With great difficulty, we got our older tom to tolerate him. We had him retested for FIV and it came back negative. My heart filled with hope and joy. He had a few bad habits -- plucking the window screens like a harp at three in the morning with his claws-- but his sweetness far outweighed the problems. He was truly a part of the family.
About six weeks ago he began slowing down, wouldn’t eat. We took him to the vet, thinking he’d eaten something bad on one of his brief trips outside, or had gotten an infection. Antibiotics seemed to clear it up. A couple weeks ago, it got much worse again. After a few days, he looked exhausted, slept a lot, vomited, wouldn’t eat. Last Thursday an ultrasound revealed advanced cancer in his stomach and liver. He had an enlarged heart or heart murmur and the vet said he wouldn’t survive surgery… even if we went ahead and he survived, it would postpone the inevitable a couple weeks.
My wife had warned me over the time we’d had him that his system was compromised, but I looked at his beautiful face and body and thought it couldn’t be that bad. It tore us up, but we had him put to sleep. We stayed with him, stroked him and told him we loved him as he slipped into unconsciousness. He was purring.
Since then, it’s been crying jags and sleepless nights. My wife and I been devastated. We “see” him everywhere… in the basket he slept in, meowing at the door, stretched out on the sofa or ottoman. I can’t believe he’s gone. I realized the vet still had his remains, and I frantically thought if I sold some of my possessions and maxed out the credit card, I could have him cryonically frozen! I did not want to let go of him at all. I felt horrible that we hadn’t done everything in our power to keep him going. I later thought having him frozen was just an expensive funeral and not be likely to do any good.
I’ve been in a fog of grief, forgetful, scatterbrained. My nerves are shot. I’ve taken time off work. When it’s bad, it’s the black pit. I don’t care about anything. It feels like a harpoon through my heart and a fire in my brain. The pain and sadness are overwhelming. It comes in waves. Once in a while it lets up and I can function, but it comes back. I loved him so much and it made me so happy to see him healthy and content. That’s all gone. I’m shattered.
He was such a sweetheart!
Full Version: Sweet Lovable Buddy
Hi, John, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies to you and your wife on the physical loss of your beloved Buddy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
John, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you and your wife will know on this side of eternity. It is filled with so many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at once and can literally make us feel like we are going insane. It is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. The symptoms of the stress of grief are exactly what you are experiencing - - lack of appetite which can include nausea, insomina, uncontrollable emotions, inability to concentrate, lack of interest in normal routines, inability to make decisions, etc.. Unless there is a decision that is absolutely life dependent it is always wise to wait until you are better able to focus before making any decisions that include major changes. Right now you and your wife are functioning on what I call "automatic pilot" - - bills get paid, errands get done, jobs are done, etc., but this is all you are able to deal with. It is part of the survival mechanism that your body and mind go into when it is dealing with an extreme trauma - - and losing the physical presence of your beloved Buddy IS recognized by the clinical profession as an extreme trauma.
I, too, know the deep sadness of having to ease two of my beloved feline companions journeys home to the angels at young and tender ages due to cancers. Along with the deep sorrow is the anger of feeling cheated out of a long earthly journey with them. Still I would have them in my life again if only they would not have to go through the physical suffering. So, my heart cherishes the treasured memories my beloved companions and I share. When our companions come into our hearts our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe because they are totally dependent upon us for their every need. We do not think about their physical decline and eventually preceding us to the angels because we are focused on the joy they bring to us every moment, and this is how it should be. For if we focused on the sorrow of their eventual physical absence our hearts would not be able to embrace the joy of their physical journey with us. But when they do precede us to the angels our lives are changed again. We are faced with the agonizingly painful task of adjusting our lives that no longer includes the physical presence of our companion, and this is a very painful adjustment to make - - both emotionally and physically. It is an adjustment journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time.
The good news is that your beloved Buddy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as he always has and always will. The love bond you and your beloved Buddy share is eternal, John - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. He is always and forever a part of you, John, for he is always and forever a part of your heart and your memories. He is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
One of the many things you need to remember during your grief journey, John, is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends here, John, - - this is a safe place where you can share what is in your heart and on your mind without fear of rejection or judgment.
Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us, John. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, John, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
John, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you and your wife will know on this side of eternity. It is filled with so many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at once and can literally make us feel like we are going insane. It is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. The symptoms of the stress of grief are exactly what you are experiencing - - lack of appetite which can include nausea, insomina, uncontrollable emotions, inability to concentrate, lack of interest in normal routines, inability to make decisions, etc.. Unless there is a decision that is absolutely life dependent it is always wise to wait until you are better able to focus before making any decisions that include major changes. Right now you and your wife are functioning on what I call "automatic pilot" - - bills get paid, errands get done, jobs are done, etc., but this is all you are able to deal with. It is part of the survival mechanism that your body and mind go into when it is dealing with an extreme trauma - - and losing the physical presence of your beloved Buddy IS recognized by the clinical profession as an extreme trauma.
I, too, know the deep sadness of having to ease two of my beloved feline companions journeys home to the angels at young and tender ages due to cancers. Along with the deep sorrow is the anger of feeling cheated out of a long earthly journey with them. Still I would have them in my life again if only they would not have to go through the physical suffering. So, my heart cherishes the treasured memories my beloved companions and I share. When our companions come into our hearts our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe because they are totally dependent upon us for their every need. We do not think about their physical decline and eventually preceding us to the angels because we are focused on the joy they bring to us every moment, and this is how it should be. For if we focused on the sorrow of their eventual physical absence our hearts would not be able to embrace the joy of their physical journey with us. But when they do precede us to the angels our lives are changed again. We are faced with the agonizingly painful task of adjusting our lives that no longer includes the physical presence of our companion, and this is a very painful adjustment to make - - both emotionally and physically. It is an adjustment journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time.
The good news is that your beloved Buddy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as he always has and always will. The love bond you and your beloved Buddy share is eternal, John - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. He is always and forever a part of you, John, for he is always and forever a part of your heart and your memories. He is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
One of the many things you need to remember during your grief journey, John, is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. You are among friends here, John, - - this is a safe place where you can share what is in your heart and on your mind without fear of rejection or judgment.
Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us, John. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, John, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
moon beam, thanks for your kind words. We have gone through the loss of furry friends before... none felt the same, and losing Buddy's daily companionship has been hard. Thanks also for writing about losing young cats. Maybe it's easier to rationalize losing a fussy old critter, but it's not any easier to say goodbye to them.
I want to say I am very lucky to have understanding friends, resources like this board and a flexible work situation. I do have some pictures... I will share them soon. My best to you and yours.
I want to say I am very lucky to have understanding friends, resources like this board and a flexible work situation. I do have some pictures... I will share them soon. My best to you and yours.
Music keeps going through my head... like Clapton's Tears in Heaven.
We have been totally on autopilot, working, making a few meals, taking care of the furry ones still with us.
Yesterday I was so tired.. normally I'm in bed 11 or midnight, yesterday it was about nine. I did sleep ok. I worry about my wife, who has also been going through hell and who takes care of our grandkids and has a career with some demands. I try to be as kind and gentle with her as possible.
We have been totally on autopilot, working, making a few meals, taking care of the furry ones still with us.
Yesterday I was so tired.. normally I'm in bed 11 or midnight, yesterday it was about nine. I did sleep ok. I worry about my wife, who has also been going through hell and who takes care of our grandkids and has a career with some demands. I try to be as kind and gentle with her as possible.
John, please allow me to express my sincere sympathies on the loss of your cat, Buddy. I've lost both of my longtime 'babies' in the past five months, and I know how much it hurts. I know your time with Buddy was so short, but you took him in and gave him a good home and took care of him. I know there is little I can say to ease your pain over losing Buddy. I am very sorry for your loss.
John
My deepest condolences on the loss of your precious Buddy. I lost my Sir Thomas to diabetes. He wasn't young (about 9 or 10) and he battled it for 4 years. But it still hurts. I understand your feeling of loss, grief, the whole nine yards. You mentioned Tears in Heaven. I posted the lyrics as a tribute to Tom, and the mod liked it so much he posted the video. It's so appropriate. I've no doubt Your Buddy, Tom and all the others are in heaven (or the Rainbow Bridge as some pet parents refer to it) I encourage you to come here as often as you need to share stories about your earthly bond with Buddy; it really does help. Take care.
TTT
My deepest condolences on the loss of your precious Buddy. I lost my Sir Thomas to diabetes. He wasn't young (about 9 or 10) and he battled it for 4 years. But it still hurts. I understand your feeling of loss, grief, the whole nine yards. You mentioned Tears in Heaven. I posted the lyrics as a tribute to Tom, and the mod liked it so much he posted the video. It's so appropriate. I've no doubt Your Buddy, Tom and all the others are in heaven (or the Rainbow Bridge as some pet parents refer to it) I encourage you to come here as often as you need to share stories about your earthly bond with Buddy; it really does help. Take care.
TTT
My deepest gratitude to you all for your kind thoughts.
Buddy wanted his freedom, but he was skittish about it sometimes.
When we first got him, we kept him in a spare bedroom with his own litterbox and food, separate from the other cats, while we figured out his FIV.
When we got the diagnosis the day we found him, I thought he was for sure a gonner, and we would have to put him down. But I did some reading on the Internet... apparently FIV positive cats can live long full lives if you were careful. No shelter would touch him. We decided to keep him.
When we'd had him a month or two, he'd recovered from his chronic hunger and cuts. He'd gotten strong -- and impatient. He would stick his paw under the door and pull on it, making a banging sound all day and night. Thump! Bang! Bang! This drove everyone nuts. Especially Kinte, the older tom, who'd sit at the door howling.
Once in a while we'd switch them, letting Buddy out of the bedroom to stretch his legs, and putting Kinte away. Sometimes one cat would go in the (furnished and comfy) basement. This went on for months and was high maintenance. Once Kinte and Buddy clashed and we had to take both of them to the vet to get stitched up. Kinte was threatened by the young new guy, who didn't want to fight. Then about on our anniversary, Kinte attacked *me*, which he never did. I went to the hospital a couple days later with nasty infection, treated with antibiotics.
Eventually, after much patience and work, we got the two guys to sit in the same room with no drama. I thought we'd accomplished the impossible.
We have another guy, JJ, who would rassle playfully with Buddy, and they would groom each other. Always a joy to see. They were good pals.
Buddy, growing longer and stronger, now wanted to go out of the house. Every time we'd let the dogs out, he was there meowing to go also. Sometimes we did, though we worried he might get lost or something might happen. He had this sweet meow he would do when he wanted out. He put little trills and purrs in the meow which broke my heart... it was so hard to resist! He never got lost outside, but I preferred going with him, giving him a few minutes of fresh air before I'd go to work. Let him chew a little grass and play "tiger" in the plants in our small backyard. I'd pick him up to take him in, and he never squirmed or resisted. Sometimes he hissed but it was never harsh. He got to wandering once in a while and knew the neighborhood. The dog across the street (kept behind a fence) barked at Buddy, who'd get a bit frightened. My wife was concerned about him killing birds, so we tried various compromises, such as putting a halter on him and taking him outside. The halter was so-so... he could slip out of it sometimes. We talked about building a screened-in 'catio' so he could sit outside, be protected and have the birds also be protected from him. If he'd been with us longer we'd be working on that. Maybe we'll do that for the other toms... I don't know.
After a week, I am feeling like the worst of my pain is abating. I hope so. I am still fatigued as is my wife. I will share more Buddy stories and post some pictures soon. Thank you so much for listening.
Buddy wanted his freedom, but he was skittish about it sometimes.
When we first got him, we kept him in a spare bedroom with his own litterbox and food, separate from the other cats, while we figured out his FIV.
When we got the diagnosis the day we found him, I thought he was for sure a gonner, and we would have to put him down. But I did some reading on the Internet... apparently FIV positive cats can live long full lives if you were careful. No shelter would touch him. We decided to keep him.
When we'd had him a month or two, he'd recovered from his chronic hunger and cuts. He'd gotten strong -- and impatient. He would stick his paw under the door and pull on it, making a banging sound all day and night. Thump! Bang! Bang! This drove everyone nuts. Especially Kinte, the older tom, who'd sit at the door howling.
Once in a while we'd switch them, letting Buddy out of the bedroom to stretch his legs, and putting Kinte away. Sometimes one cat would go in the (furnished and comfy) basement. This went on for months and was high maintenance. Once Kinte and Buddy clashed and we had to take both of them to the vet to get stitched up. Kinte was threatened by the young new guy, who didn't want to fight. Then about on our anniversary, Kinte attacked *me*, which he never did. I went to the hospital a couple days later with nasty infection, treated with antibiotics.
Eventually, after much patience and work, we got the two guys to sit in the same room with no drama. I thought we'd accomplished the impossible.
We have another guy, JJ, who would rassle playfully with Buddy, and they would groom each other. Always a joy to see. They were good pals.
Buddy, growing longer and stronger, now wanted to go out of the house. Every time we'd let the dogs out, he was there meowing to go also. Sometimes we did, though we worried he might get lost or something might happen. He had this sweet meow he would do when he wanted out. He put little trills and purrs in the meow which broke my heart... it was so hard to resist! He never got lost outside, but I preferred going with him, giving him a few minutes of fresh air before I'd go to work. Let him chew a little grass and play "tiger" in the plants in our small backyard. I'd pick him up to take him in, and he never squirmed or resisted. Sometimes he hissed but it was never harsh. He got to wandering once in a while and knew the neighborhood. The dog across the street (kept behind a fence) barked at Buddy, who'd get a bit frightened. My wife was concerned about him killing birds, so we tried various compromises, such as putting a halter on him and taking him outside. The halter was so-so... he could slip out of it sometimes. We talked about building a screened-in 'catio' so he could sit outside, be protected and have the birds also be protected from him. If he'd been with us longer we'd be working on that. Maybe we'll do that for the other toms... I don't know.
After a week, I am feeling like the worst of my pain is abating. I hope so. I am still fatigued as is my wife. I will share more Buddy stories and post some pictures soon. Thank you so much for listening.
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your wife are doing and your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy. My heart is warmed by the loving care he received from you and your wife, and his housemates, during his earthly journey. You and your wife, and Kinte and JJ, are now blessed with your beloved Buddy's eternal love and gratefulness for giving him a safe and happy home. Nothing will ever change this - - it is yours alone to cherish during your continued earthly journey, and yours alone to enjoy when it is your appropriate time to join your beloved Buddy in eternal joy.
I am so smiling about your plans to build a "catio" for your Buddy, and how empty the plans seem now that he is no longer with you. I experienced something similar when I was working on finishing off the basement living quarters. Deciding to build the "catio" is not a decision you need to make right now. Give yourself some time to have this deep grief ease, and then you and your wife can better decide what you want to do. If you do decide to proceed with your plans, please know that your beloved Buddy's sweet Living Spirit will be right there with you enjoying the efforts of your loving labors.
I hope today is treating you, your wife, and Kinte and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, John, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so smiling about your plans to build a "catio" for your Buddy, and how empty the plans seem now that he is no longer with you. I experienced something similar when I was working on finishing off the basement living quarters. Deciding to build the "catio" is not a decision you need to make right now. Give yourself some time to have this deep grief ease, and then you and your wife can better decide what you want to do. If you do decide to proceed with your plans, please know that your beloved Buddy's sweet Living Spirit will be right there with you enjoying the efforts of your loving labors.
I hope today is treating you, your wife, and Kinte and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, John, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I dreamed I saw Buddy last night. It was very vivid. He was wandering around our dining room as if nothing had happened. I was so happy to see him. It's funny, but there was little disbelief in my mind, just happiness. I picked him up and he was big and full and strong as I'd ever known him. His fur was soft and he purred as I held him. He didn't squirm or fuss, he seemed content and happy. The dream was over in a few seconds.
Yes moon beam, we are lucky for the relative quiet of the three-day weekend. We drove to see some friends yesterday to celebrate their granddaughter's 5th birthday. Today, my wife has some business to do, she sells real estate and it can be very hectic, but it's just some paperwork and she'll be home soon. J J, who I think had a last name "Cuddles" is in my lap as I type this. Kinte has been visibly upset over Buddy, and I give him affection and food whenever I can.
Peace to you all! Memorial Day's a good day as any to remember I guess...
Yes moon beam, we are lucky for the relative quiet of the three-day weekend. We drove to see some friends yesterday to celebrate their granddaughter's 5th birthday. Today, my wife has some business to do, she sells real estate and it can be very hectic, but it's just some paperwork and she'll be home soon. J J, who I think had a last name "Cuddles" is in my lap as I type this. Kinte has been visibly upset over Buddy, and I give him affection and food whenever I can.
Peace to you all! Memorial Day's a good day as any to remember I guess...
he Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so glad you have seen your beloved Buddy in a dream, and that your and your beloved Buddy's visit was a happy one. I know this is comforting to you.
Although Memorial Day was established to remember the valiant men and women who have served, and continue to serve, in this country's military, I agree with you that it also serves as a special opportunity to honor the memory of all our loved ones - - whatever the life form.
I hope today is treating you, your wife, and Kinte and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Although Memorial Day was established to remember the valiant men and women who have served, and continue to serve, in this country's military, I agree with you that it also serves as a special opportunity to honor the memory of all our loved ones - - whatever the life form.
I hope today is treating you, your wife, and Kinte and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Click to view attachmentClick to view attachment
Here are three pictures of Buddy. The first was from 2010, days from when we first took him in. Note the sore on his shoulder and his thinness.The next two are a year later, when he was in much better shape. It's impossible for me to look at these without crying.
PS about Memorial Day. No offense intended for those with loved ones who served.
Here are three pictures of Buddy. The first was from 2010, days from when we first took him in. Note the sore on his shoulder and his thinness.The next two are a year later, when he was in much better shape. It's impossible for me to look at these without crying.
PS about Memorial Day. No offense intended for those with loved ones who served.
Oh John
Of course it's impossible to look at these beautiful pictures without crying. I haven't been able to look at pictures of my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) and it's been 14 months. You're still in the shock and (horrible) awe period. Every minute your heart is being shot through with a high-powered rifle. You're bleeding to death from the heart. Pplease take it very easy .... tiny baby steps ... or outlandish ones (I slept on Gretta's big orthopedic bed for over a week, with two of her snowsuits velcro=ed together as a pillow). Buddy is, in the words of my vet, the best vet on earth, "in a safe place now." And he is. YOU'RE not, but HE is. How wonderful, how extraordinary that he came to you so clearly in a dream! That's so rare and it's such a gift when it happens. He's telling you he's OK, he loves you the same as ever (he let you pick him up and hold him) and trying to reassure you that he has NOT disappeared and that one day you two WILL be together never to be parted.
Two big teardops are falling down my cheeks for you. Buddy, thank you for coming to your dad and telling him you're OK and you love him the same as when he could see you. Please be with him as his heart struggles with your going to the Perfect World to wait for him. You know him best, so you'll know best how to comfort and love him.
Say hi to Gretta when she welcomes you to your REAL forever home!
Gretta's mom
Of course it's impossible to look at these beautiful pictures without crying. I haven't been able to look at pictures of my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) and it's been 14 months. You're still in the shock and (horrible) awe period. Every minute your heart is being shot through with a high-powered rifle. You're bleeding to death from the heart. Pplease take it very easy .... tiny baby steps ... or outlandish ones (I slept on Gretta's big orthopedic bed for over a week, with two of her snowsuits velcro=ed together as a pillow). Buddy is, in the words of my vet, the best vet on earth, "in a safe place now." And he is. YOU'RE not, but HE is. How wonderful, how extraordinary that he came to you so clearly in a dream! That's so rare and it's such a gift when it happens. He's telling you he's OK, he loves you the same as ever (he let you pick him up and hold him) and trying to reassure you that he has NOT disappeared and that one day you two WILL be together never to be parted.
Two big teardops are falling down my cheeks for you. Buddy, thank you for coming to your dad and telling him you're OK and you love him the same as when he could see you. Please be with him as his heart struggles with your going to the Perfect World to wait for him. You know him best, so you'll know best how to comfort and love him.
Say hi to Gretta when she welcomes you to your REAL forever home!
Gretta's mom
Hi, John, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing, and thank you so much for sharing these adorable pictures of your beloved Buddy. There is no question in looking at him that he KNOWS he has not only found his earthly "kingdom" with you but also his eternal home in your heart and your memories.
Clincal studies show that each tear you shed is a healing tear, for it literally washes away the toxins that build up in your body from the stress of grieving. But Gretta's Mom in one of her responses shared a beautiful thought: Each tear we shed is transformed into a flawless diamond reflecting the eternal love we share with our beloved companions and which our beloved companions collect to add to our crown of glory which they will present to us at our appropriate time when we join them in eternal joy.
I hope today is being kind to you, John, and to your wife and your precious Kinte and JJ. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Clincal studies show that each tear you shed is a healing tear, for it literally washes away the toxins that build up in your body from the stress of grieving. But Gretta's Mom in one of her responses shared a beautiful thought: Each tear we shed is transformed into a flawless diamond reflecting the eternal love we share with our beloved companions and which our beloved companions collect to add to our crown of glory which they will present to us at our appropriate time when we join them in eternal joy.
I hope today is being kind to you, John, and to your wife and your precious Kinte and JJ. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am feeling calmer in my mind. For a few days I've felt a presence on my right shoulder as if Buddy was riding there. It is probably temporary, his way of easing my pain.
Two days after we put him to sleep, I went around the house collecting some of the little hairs he'd left behind. He had a favorite basket and that was a treasure trove. He also had two cloth-topped stools by the kitchen counter, where he liked to hang out and occasionally scratch, so there was some of him there also. I put it in a plastic bag and have it on my desk. I mentioned this to a friend at work and she said she'd done something similar with a cat she'd had.
The grandkids live 15 minutes away and we see them often and have them overnight sometimes, so they knew Buddy. Due to other things going on with them, and our not wanting to have to have them deal with this also, we ended up telling them only yesterday. They were in shock and were mad they didn't know sooner. They are a boy and girl ages 11 and 9. My wife spent some time talking with them, as they were here for a brief visit. There is no easy way about this, but we told them we did all we could and our choices were extremely limited, and we were in shock just as they were. They have two young cats of their own at their home.
I read through this forum and see all these stories about how people have lost their loved ones and wonder... how do people handle it?? Buddy's illness was tragic and unfair but he did not die through violence or other circumstances that would only make the loss harder to bear. At least my wife and I had the chance to say goodbye and tell him we loved him.
Two days after we put him to sleep, I went around the house collecting some of the little hairs he'd left behind. He had a favorite basket and that was a treasure trove. He also had two cloth-topped stools by the kitchen counter, where he liked to hang out and occasionally scratch, so there was some of him there also. I put it in a plastic bag and have it on my desk. I mentioned this to a friend at work and she said she'd done something similar with a cat she'd had.
The grandkids live 15 minutes away and we see them often and have them overnight sometimes, so they knew Buddy. Due to other things going on with them, and our not wanting to have to have them deal with this also, we ended up telling them only yesterday. They were in shock and were mad they didn't know sooner. They are a boy and girl ages 11 and 9. My wife spent some time talking with them, as they were here for a brief visit. There is no easy way about this, but we told them we did all we could and our choices were extremely limited, and we were in shock just as they were. They have two young cats of their own at their home.
I read through this forum and see all these stories about how people have lost their loved ones and wonder... how do people handle it?? Buddy's illness was tragic and unfair but he did not die through violence or other circumstances that would only make the loss harder to bear. At least my wife and I had the chance to say goodbye and tell him we loved him.
A couple weeks before we lost Buddy, and we thought his loss of appetite was from something minor, I got depressed seemingly from out of nowhere. It was like a black cloud wandering into my head throughout the day. I realized it had something to do with Buddy but didn't know what to do about it. I guess at that late stage there wasn't anything we could have done to save him. I've been thinking about that... if we'd have known anything, like months before, could we have saved him? What he had didn't happen overnight. Also, we've had other furry creatures go through their last days with us, acting fine one minute and dire the next, with only a loss of appetite along the way. Kinte our older tom several years ago had an extended "fun-time," a couple days away from the house. When he came back he wouldn't eat or drink. He hardly moved from the sofa. That was scary too, but a vet rehydrated him by IV and he was fine since. You notice changes in the furkids but it's so hard to tell if it's serious or just a passing tummy ache. I wish to hell there was something I could have done a couple months ago to avert Buddy's illness. The vet said with his weak heart surgery and chemo were extremely risky.
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so glad you have been able to collect some of your beloved Buddy's fur to save. Now when you long to feel his fur you will have this treasure to feel in your fingers and hands -- a blessed connection between you and your beloved Buddy.
I can feel the ache in your heart with your feelings of "if only." I know how difficult these feelings are, and how difficult they are to reconcile. Your beloved Buddy's sweet Living Spirit is with you and I hope somehow you can hear his soft voice in your mind and heart letting you know that you did everything RIGHT. Even though medical procedures are available does not necessarily mean they are appropriate. Invasive tests and surgery are MAJOR traumas to the physical body, and when the physical body is already frail and fragile it is more merciful to not do them. Your love for Buddy spared him the trauma of invasive medical treatment, and he is eternally grateful.
Children do grieve differently from adults, and the physical loss of a companion is usually their first experience of physical death. I hope your grandchildren will come to understand that you and your wife did what was right for the both of you and for Buddy.
I hope today is treating you and your wife and your precious Kinte, and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I can feel the ache in your heart with your feelings of "if only." I know how difficult these feelings are, and how difficult they are to reconcile. Your beloved Buddy's sweet Living Spirit is with you and I hope somehow you can hear his soft voice in your mind and heart letting you know that you did everything RIGHT. Even though medical procedures are available does not necessarily mean they are appropriate. Invasive tests and surgery are MAJOR traumas to the physical body, and when the physical body is already frail and fragile it is more merciful to not do them. Your love for Buddy spared him the trauma of invasive medical treatment, and he is eternally grateful.
Children do grieve differently from adults, and the physical loss of a companion is usually their first experience of physical death. I hope your grandchildren will come to understand that you and your wife did what was right for the both of you and for Buddy.
I hope today is treating you and your wife and your precious Kinte, and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Today my wife picked up Buddy's ashes from the vet, and the carrier we left behind. I was having trouble with my scooter - it's how I get to work... and my wife picked me up at work. She still had Buddy in the back seat. I got choked up all over again taking his remains back in the house. I set them temporarily on a ledge in our dining room by a window that gets a lot of sun in the morning.
Not long after, Kinte sat on a stool not two feet from where I'd set Buddy's ashes. He was there a while. Unless we're in the room, he rarely sits there... he usually curls up in bed or comes to visit us in the living room or downstairs in my office. Seeing him sitting there... it made me wonder if he knew somehow. It makes me jittery thinking about it. It's uncanny.
A fond memory... when we first found Buddy, and his health was improving, he got into the habit of giving me playful little bites. At first, they were a bit aggressive. I'd yelp from the pain and he'd flinch, maybe realizing he'd gone too far. I loved petting him but he was sensitive to it; he didn't like being touched much on his back, so I confined my attentions to the soft fur on his head and chest. After several months, if I petted him on the head, he'd turn and catch the skin of my hand gently in his teeth, letting it slip out slowly. It was coy and very playful and cute, just a sweet little love bite, and the expression on his face was pure affection with a little bit of sassiness.
Not long after, Kinte sat on a stool not two feet from where I'd set Buddy's ashes. He was there a while. Unless we're in the room, he rarely sits there... he usually curls up in bed or comes to visit us in the living room or downstairs in my office. Seeing him sitting there... it made me wonder if he knew somehow. It makes me jittery thinking about it. It's uncanny.
A fond memory... when we first found Buddy, and his health was improving, he got into the habit of giving me playful little bites. At first, they were a bit aggressive. I'd yelp from the pain and he'd flinch, maybe realizing he'd gone too far. I loved petting him but he was sensitive to it; he didn't like being touched much on his back, so I confined my attentions to the soft fur on his head and chest. After several months, if I petted him on the head, he'd turn and catch the skin of my hand gently in his teeth, letting it slip out slowly. It was coy and very playful and cute, just a sweet little love bite, and the expression on his face was pure affection with a little bit of sassiness.
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your wife are doing. Yes, getting our beloved companion's ashes back is a two-sided coin: on the one side it can be comforting getting them back home while the other side is yet another blatant reminder that they are no longer physically with us in the life form we long for. It does not surprise me that your precious Kinte gave a loving observation of his beloved housemate's ashes. Our companions, like some people, can be quite sensitive to the presence of things that cannot be seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled.
Thank you so much for sharing one of your many treasured memories of your beloved Buddy with us. While the memories we have preserved in pictures are priceless, the "Kodak moments" we hold dearly in our hearts are equally treasured.
I hope today is treating you and your wife and your precious Kinte, and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you so much for sharing one of your many treasured memories of your beloved Buddy with us. While the memories we have preserved in pictures are priceless, the "Kodak moments" we hold dearly in our hearts are equally treasured.
I hope today is treating you and your wife and your precious Kinte, and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hello John
Thank you for sharing the steps on your wife's grief journey. And one thousand hoorays for Buddy giving you so many signs of his enduring presence. Yes, he IS still on his job - watching you, guiding your steps, licking your tears away - and, most importantly, loving and being loved by you and his mom - exactly like always. Ashes day is always a knife in the heart. The Vet school that took care of Gretta, unbeknownst to me, had made a paw imprint for me. I lost it then and there - right in the vet school! Then a friend from work who had lost a baby at birth offered to make me a little wooden box for Gretta's ashes - and even burnished her name into it. Looking at that box is very sad but also reminds me of the curing effect of the unexpected kindness of others.
Be well - and feel Buddy right there beside you.
Gretta's mom
Thank you for sharing the steps on your wife's grief journey. And one thousand hoorays for Buddy giving you so many signs of his enduring presence. Yes, he IS still on his job - watching you, guiding your steps, licking your tears away - and, most importantly, loving and being loved by you and his mom - exactly like always. Ashes day is always a knife in the heart. The Vet school that took care of Gretta, unbeknownst to me, had made a paw imprint for me. I lost it then and there - right in the vet school! Then a friend from work who had lost a baby at birth offered to make me a little wooden box for Gretta's ashes - and even burnished her name into it. Looking at that box is very sad but also reminds me of the curing effect of the unexpected kindness of others.
Be well - and feel Buddy right there beside you.
Gretta's mom
Moon beam and Gretta's Mom, thanks for your thoughtful words, they help buoy me up when I feel low.
Whenever I look at a date now, I think of it in terms of Buddy. Before we found him, while we had him, and especially, "his last couple of months." I wonder if this is a common thing, to create a mental calendar like that?
Another fond memory: Buddy grew to be a looong cat. My wife, Laura, liked to pick him up and hold him stretched-out. It was amazing to see how long he was.
We've been talking about adopting another cat but right now I feel like I'd be comparing any new cat to Buddy... that I still want him back in the flesh. I know this wouldn't be fair to a new cat, who'd be his or her own distinctive self, but the temptation is there.
Whenever I look at a date now, I think of it in terms of Buddy. Before we found him, while we had him, and especially, "his last couple of months." I wonder if this is a common thing, to create a mental calendar like that?
Another fond memory: Buddy grew to be a looong cat. My wife, Laura, liked to pick him up and hold him stretched-out. It was amazing to see how long he was.
We've been talking about adopting another cat but right now I feel like I'd be comparing any new cat to Buddy... that I still want him back in the flesh. I know this wouldn't be fair to a new cat, who'd be his or her own distinctive self, but the temptation is there.
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your wife are doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are experiencing is very normal grief, John - - the "mental calendar" is all a part of the grief adjustment journey. Since 2006 my little household has lost three of its four fur family members, and I still find myself thinking "this time . . . " The grief pain does ease with time, John, but it will ease in your own way and in your own time, as each grief journey is as individual as the person experiencing it and as the shared relationship.
Adopting another companion after a loss is a very personal decision, John. Only YOU will know when you are ready to embrace a new companion into your heart and life. It is hard when one family member seems more ready than another. Just know that we are here for you, John, through each step of your grief adjustment journey.
I hope today is treating you and your wife and your precious Kinte, and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Adopting another companion after a loss is a very personal decision, John. Only YOU will know when you are ready to embrace a new companion into your heart and life. It is hard when one family member seems more ready than another. Just know that we are here for you, John, through each step of your grief adjustment journey.
I hope today is treating you and your wife and your precious Kinte, and JJ kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hello John
Just stopping in to see how you are doing and to send a few rays of good wishes and strength your way.
Gretta's mom
Just stopping in to see how you are doing and to send a few rays of good wishes and strength your way.
Gretta's mom
A few fresh tears tonight... three weeks ago tonight. I found many pictures and even a short video of him around the house, laying at the foot of the fridge where the warm air comes out. Today I let Buddy follow me around at work. Sometimes he rides on my shoulder, sometimes he's trotting on the floor near my feet. I know George Burns used to talk to Gracie long after she passed on, I figure why not keep Buddy in spirit, least for a while?
He and Kinte used to prowl the kitchen countertop much to our chagrin... if we left sausage pizza on the counter, Buddy wouldn't hesitate to help himself. Kinte continues the counter top tradition, though I haven't seen him in any pizzas lately. Our other tom, J J, is too heavy to jump up on the counter in one leap.
It's easy to drift and hard to get motivated on much. I keep up with work and chores around the house, but other projects have gone by the wayside. We have two small old dogs that seem like they could go any minute, but we've been saying that for a couple years now. They're nearly deaf and can't handle walks like they used to, one has a heart condition treated with daily meds and hasn't been eating much, though her tail still wags. Oy! So we have to stay aware of the ones still with us. We also have a grandchild on the way... any day now. Never a dull moment.
He and Kinte used to prowl the kitchen countertop much to our chagrin... if we left sausage pizza on the counter, Buddy wouldn't hesitate to help himself. Kinte continues the counter top tradition, though I haven't seen him in any pizzas lately. Our other tom, J J, is too heavy to jump up on the counter in one leap.
It's easy to drift and hard to get motivated on much. I keep up with work and chores around the house, but other projects have gone by the wayside. We have two small old dogs that seem like they could go any minute, but we've been saying that for a couple years now. They're nearly deaf and can't handle walks like they used to, one has a heart condition treated with daily meds and hasn't been eating much, though her tail still wags. Oy! So we have to stay aware of the ones still with us. We also have a grandchild on the way... any day now. Never a dull moment.
Hello Buddy's dad
Of course Buddy will be around you on this earth forever and is even now in the Perfect World awaiting your arrival. Your heart is SO good - so many lovable beings around your house and in your heart. You've given every one of them a miracle - and the love they have for you will never die. I've heard it said that an old (cat) is always right there by your side, his purring machine going, his sandpaper tongue licking, ... just as always. It's just because we can't see or hear or touch them that our hearts ache so mucn. Buddy loves the sound of your voice just as always. I song to me Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) all the time - and I'm sure she hears me.
The kindest hearts end up weeping the most tears - and that would surely be you, Buddy's dad.
Have a gentle day,
Gretta's mom
Of course Buddy will be around you on this earth forever and is even now in the Perfect World awaiting your arrival. Your heart is SO good - so many lovable beings around your house and in your heart. You've given every one of them a miracle - and the love they have for you will never die. I've heard it said that an old (cat) is always right there by your side, his purring machine going, his sandpaper tongue licking, ... just as always. It's just because we can't see or hear or touch them that our hearts ache so mucn. Buddy loves the sound of your voice just as always. I song to me Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) all the time - and I'm sure she hears me.
The kindest hearts end up weeping the most tears - and that would surely be you, Buddy's dad.
Have a gentle day,
Gretta's mom
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Gretta's mom is so right when she shares with you "Of course Buddy will be around you on this earth forever and is even now in the Perfect World awaiting your arrival. . . . Buddy loves the sound of your voice just as always." So keep talking to your precious Buddy forthe sound of your voice is like sweet incense to your beloved Buddy. I still talk to my beloved companions who are patiently waiting for me to join them in eternal joy.
What you are feeling is very normal, John: "It's easy to drift and hard to get motivated on much. I keep up with work and chores around the house, but other projects have gone by the wayside." Grieving takes a LOT of energy - - both physical and emotional. I assure you, John, that as your deep grief eases you will find yourself feeling stronger with renewed energy. Until this happens, John, you really do need to not push yourself beyond your endurance levels. This is NOT a sign of weakness - - this is vitally important for your health.
I hope today is treating you and your wife, your precious Kinte and JJ, your canine companions, and all of your family kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
What you are feeling is very normal, John: "It's easy to drift and hard to get motivated on much. I keep up with work and chores around the house, but other projects have gone by the wayside." Grieving takes a LOT of energy - - both physical and emotional. I assure you, John, that as your deep grief eases you will find yourself feeling stronger with renewed energy. Until this happens, John, you really do need to not push yourself beyond your endurance levels. This is NOT a sign of weakness - - this is vitally important for your health.
I hope today is treating you and your wife, your precious Kinte and JJ, your canine companions, and all of your family kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Today marks another week since Buddy's passing. Just wanted to say you've helped me a lot here. I still wonder why I've felt Buddy's loss so acutely... it's a mystery. I want to learn from this experience, to honor his memory. He reminds me of the "soft animal" in one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver, "Wild Geese:"
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the praries and deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -- over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the praries and deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -- over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the wonderful poem. You ask a question that many people ask when they grieve the physical loss of a beloved companion: " I still wonder why I've felt Buddy's loss so acutely... it's a mystery." The only "answer" I can share with you is that each relationship we have with our companions is unique because each companion is unique. Some are more independent than others, some are more mellow than others, some have special needs that require our dedicated care, etc.. With each of these facets of our relationship the bond we develop with them is unique. Because we "seem" to grieve more for one than for another does not mean we love one more than we love the other. It simply means that our relationship with each one is unique, and the grieving we experience when they precede us to the angels is therefore unqiue.
I hope today is treating you and your wife, your precious Kinte and JJ, your canine companions, and all of your family kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you and your wife, your precious Kinte and JJ, your canine companions, and all of your family kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Last Sunday we marked Buddy's "Birthday," the day he showed up on our doorstep 2 short years ago.
Though the shock and pain have worn off, Laura and I still wonder about the whole thing... how it happened, "why" it happened. In my mind's eye I still feel him, see him. We said we'd make a little memorial for him and Gracie, but I've been avoiding it... somehow memorializing is admitting it happened.
Oh, and I ran across a funny thing today...
http://cheezburger.com/6469524480?fb_ref=b...=home_multiline
Though the shock and pain have worn off, Laura and I still wonder about the whole thing... how it happened, "why" it happened. In my mind's eye I still feel him, see him. We said we'd make a little memorial for him and Gracie, but I've been avoiding it... somehow memorializing is admitting it happened.
Oh, and I ran across a funny thing today...
http://cheezburger.com/6469524480?fb_ref=b...=home_multiline
Hi, John, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing with us your and your beloved Buddy's "angel-versary" of when he became a part of your heart and home.
I do understand the "haunting" that is in your and Laura's heart about the "how" and "why" of what happened to your beloved Buddy that shortened his earthly journey with you. It is okay to not make a memorial for your beloved Buddy and Gracie. There is no rush in this at all, John. However, if you might permit me to offer you an alternative point of view about a memorial: Whatever you and your wife decide, your memorial is a loving tribute to your beloved Buddy and Gracie and truly has nothing to do with what happened. Your memorial will be a loving and permanent testimony to the eternal love bond you share with them. The best memorial of all, though, is the eternal flame of love that is always and forever in your and your wife's hearts for your beloved Buddy and Gracie. Nothing can ever diminish or damage this memorial - - for it is a living and eternal tribute to your beloved Buddy and Gracie. Whatever else you decide to do will only be an extension of this eternal love.
I hope today is treating you and your wife, your precious Kinte and JJ, your canine companions, and all of your family kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I do understand the "haunting" that is in your and Laura's heart about the "how" and "why" of what happened to your beloved Buddy that shortened his earthly journey with you. It is okay to not make a memorial for your beloved Buddy and Gracie. There is no rush in this at all, John. However, if you might permit me to offer you an alternative point of view about a memorial: Whatever you and your wife decide, your memorial is a loving tribute to your beloved Buddy and Gracie and truly has nothing to do with what happened. Your memorial will be a loving and permanent testimony to the eternal love bond you share with them. The best memorial of all, though, is the eternal flame of love that is always and forever in your and your wife's hearts for your beloved Buddy and Gracie. Nothing can ever diminish or damage this memorial - - for it is a living and eternal tribute to your beloved Buddy and Gracie. Whatever else you decide to do will only be an extension of this eternal love.
I hope today is treating you and your wife, your precious Kinte and JJ, your canine companions, and all of your family kindly, John. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Buddy with us. Please know you, your wife, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Buddy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE (John P @ Aug 4 2012, 09:40 AM) 
Last Sunday we marked Buddy's "Birthday," the day he showed up on our doorstep 2 short years ago.
Though the shock and pain have worn off, Laura and I still wonder about the whole thing... how it happened, "why" it happened. In my mind's eye I still feel him, see him. We said we'd make a little memorial for him and Gracie, but I've been avoiding it... somehow memorializing is admitting it happened.
Oh, and I ran across a funny thing today...
http://cheezburger.com/6469524480?fb_ref=b...=home_multiline
Though the shock and pain have worn off, Laura and I still wonder about the whole thing... how it happened, "why" it happened. In my mind's eye I still feel him, see him. We said we'd make a little memorial for him and Gracie, but I've been avoiding it... somehow memorializing is admitting it happened.
Oh, and I ran across a funny thing today...
http://cheezburger.com/6469524480?fb_ref=b...=home_multiline
John P, that cartoon is so cute! Made me smile today and I needed a smile. John, I know it's heartbreaking losing two fur kids in such a short time. It's like grief on top of grief. I think you and Laura should make the memorial for Buddy and Gracy. Doing things like that helps with the grief work, and it is "work". Sometimes we think it's easier not to think about it, but then it makes it worse when we keep it bottled up inside. Buddy and Gracie were both so special.
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