I would first like to start by thanking Lightning-strike for creating a wonderful place, where I came across by chance last year on the 18th of May, whilst in deep grief looking for help and guidance after losing my baby girl. There are not many who understand what it is like losing a soul mate and it is very hard to open up to people as they don't understand. But here I found the help I needed. Thank you.
I would also like to thank all the grieving parents, who whilst in their deep grief can reach out to others. You have helped me no end but I've not been able to bring myself to join you untill today. So thank you.
It has been a Year today that I last saw my baby girl Aero. It has been the worst year of my life, she was my world. If I may I will tell you a bit about her. 17 years ago my husband (but not at the time) found a little stay pup at work she was about 3-4 months old. Well I'd never had a dog so I didn't know what to expect! My husband is an aerospace engineer and at that time he worked at a place called pendle aeroform so he didn't want to call her form, hence the name Aero! And she lived up to the name as here in England we have chocolate bars called aero and they advertise as bubbly chocolate! We would always have to tell people she is called after aeroplane not chocolate!
When we first took her to the vets I couldnt believe they said she had a heart murmur I was devastated. But you wouldn't have thought! All through her life she was crazy! Really hyperactive.
I never went anywhere without her, I only left her twice in over 16 years (apart from the dreaded night she went into hospital) firstly to get married and secondly to have my daughter. And people would say when I was pregnant she would get jelous but she never did. She loved her little sister, never once snapped or snarled at her she loved her to bits. She would always want and wait to pick her up from school! My daughters first word was Aero! Then last year She became poorly I'd taken her to the vets loads of times but they never got to the bottom of it, the only time the vets were good is when she was dying. My baby collapsed on a Saturday night and we rushed her in, they did test nd said she was aniemc and dehydrated so to keep her in, the day after they phoned to say that they'd done more test and that she had a tumor on her spline and it was one of the worst kind and she was too old and poorly to operate. We went to get her to spend some time with her at home, to spoil her and take her to one of her favourite places but she was in so much pain. She wouldnt eat her favourate chicken and couldn't move. So on the Monday 2nd of may 2011 we had to let her go. Her daddy had to take her, whist me and my daughter waited in the car. I felt I'd punished her enough by keep taking her to the vets and her daddy found her he should let her go.
I didn't take it well I just wanted to be with her. I got depression and the doctors recommend that I saw a bereavement councillor. I lost my job as they wouldn't give me time off, my own family didn't understand, so if it wasn't for here and a neighbour I don't know where I'd be.
I take her ashes to bed every night and I sleep with one of her cushions and blankets and my daughter sleeps with her cushion from what she had as a puppy and a sleeping bag she had on her bed. I always tell her I miss her and love her. And I've turned to being more spiritual, it took me a long time to accept she was an old lady but I now need to know if she is ok. That I feel is my closure.
I do apologise for my long post it's been so hard to let it all out
To all the mummy's and daddy's who are in so much pain, you will be ok it takes time I'm one year in and not fully recovered I don't think I ever will be, but I have come along way and you will to. Trust me.
Every one please take care
Aeros mummy
Full Version: A Year Ago Today My World Was Torn Apart
Oh Aero
How my heart cries for you. Our puppies went to the perfect World almost together. Thank you for your sweet post on her thread. I don't talk about this much any more, but I'd like you to hear the philosophy I've developed over the past year. All animals are precious and deserved to be named and loved. Once in a great while, an extraordinary animal is actually your 'other half" - he or she carries a piece of your soul and you carry a piece of his or hers. These amazing animals search through all the billions of people in this universe until they locate their other-half. Amazing enough. But then they do something e ven MORE amazing - they put themselves in their soul-mate's path so the two of you will meet. They choose us - we don't choose them! It's no accident that Aero found you by hiding around your husband and that your husband had the heart to take him home. Remember that rush of immense, instant love when you first saw him? That was the sign of your soul-mate-hood. It's like up until then your heart had just a little bit of vacuum in it that was filled in an instant. Both halves have joined.
Then, thru your life together, no matter how long or short (Gretta only lived with me for a little less than 5 years), you're inseparable. Imagine that - apart only two days in 16 years! Another sign of soul-mate-hood. These animals are on a mission. First of all, they show us what totally, completely unconditional love is like - for years on end. No matter what we do or look like! They have other mission, too. Special things to teach us - just by being there. My Gretta is the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived. People we met on walks used to comment spontaneously on how kind she was. She taught me that kindness was a matter of character, of heart, rather than one of deeds. Your Aero had many things to give you and teach you - 16 years worth. All by just BEING!
Whoever designed this universe decided to make our soul-mates' lives much shorter than our own - and we have to develop the strength to do THE hardest thing we will ever do - set them free. No wonder it hurst so bad - it's like cutting off a part of ourselves. People are quick to be critical about being sad and crying for a pet - but would they do the same if we cried over an amputated leg? I think not! Only those of us who have been mightily blessed by having their true soul-mate find them and live with them - even for only a while - can truly understand the depth of grief in our hearts when, their mission over, the go back to the perfect World from which they came.
Some unexpected people helped me form this philisophy: a grief conselor, PhD in psychology, at the University where I said good-bye to Gretta told me, "Aminals choose their times of arrival and departure." And my vet, the wonderful Doctor Hinson, trained at the U of Penn (THE best vet school in America), and the consumate man of science, gave me two big hugs and said, "She's in a safe place now." And Mother Moonbeam on this site - a truly amazing person who has poured herself out time and time again to help others (us) understand and live through our special grief.
Never worry about "doing crazy stuff" because of grief. I loved you and your daughter sleeping with Aero's ashes and blankets. I was so sad for the first week that I slept on gretta's dog bed (it's a special, large orthopedic bed so I almost fit!). One her pillow. With her ashes. (I'm a solo so I can get by with a little more than those who live with others!!). I still cry daily - at least - for her. (Like now.) And my colleagues who see me walking around with tears in my eyes are kind enough not to say anything.
Aero's mom, we're in almost the exact same place/time in our grief - a year. How much do you think that initial "shot-in-the-heart" shock-and-awe pain of those first days do you think has dissipated? I think mine has settled in at about 75% and looks like it's going to stay there for a long time - maybe for the rest of my life.
Yesterday when I found out about Aero, I asked Gretta to go look for Aero and romp and play at Aero's birthday party. Aero, looks for a group of C spaniel brothers - they're Gretta's cousins. And hermie the bunny, and (oops forgot his name) the feerret and all the puppies and kitties and bunnies and birdies and lizards and every other special creature and you guys have ONE ROCKIN RIME at Aero's party. And when it calms down, please send some rays of warmth and comfort to Aero's mom - just like you do whenever somebody has a birthday up there.
Aero's mom - please be especially gentle and calm today. Your only assignment is to live - truly - exhale after inhaling - that's all. And listen very carefully for the huge bash going on in the Perfect World today.
Your travelling companion
Gretta's mom
How my heart cries for you. Our puppies went to the perfect World almost together. Thank you for your sweet post on her thread. I don't talk about this much any more, but I'd like you to hear the philosophy I've developed over the past year. All animals are precious and deserved to be named and loved. Once in a great while, an extraordinary animal is actually your 'other half" - he or she carries a piece of your soul and you carry a piece of his or hers. These amazing animals search through all the billions of people in this universe until they locate their other-half. Amazing enough. But then they do something e ven MORE amazing - they put themselves in their soul-mate's path so the two of you will meet. They choose us - we don't choose them! It's no accident that Aero found you by hiding around your husband and that your husband had the heart to take him home. Remember that rush of immense, instant love when you first saw him? That was the sign of your soul-mate-hood. It's like up until then your heart had just a little bit of vacuum in it that was filled in an instant. Both halves have joined.
Then, thru your life together, no matter how long or short (Gretta only lived with me for a little less than 5 years), you're inseparable. Imagine that - apart only two days in 16 years! Another sign of soul-mate-hood. These animals are on a mission. First of all, they show us what totally, completely unconditional love is like - for years on end. No matter what we do or look like! They have other mission, too. Special things to teach us - just by being there. My Gretta is the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived. People we met on walks used to comment spontaneously on how kind she was. She taught me that kindness was a matter of character, of heart, rather than one of deeds. Your Aero had many things to give you and teach you - 16 years worth. All by just BEING!
Whoever designed this universe decided to make our soul-mates' lives much shorter than our own - and we have to develop the strength to do THE hardest thing we will ever do - set them free. No wonder it hurst so bad - it's like cutting off a part of ourselves. People are quick to be critical about being sad and crying for a pet - but would they do the same if we cried over an amputated leg? I think not! Only those of us who have been mightily blessed by having their true soul-mate find them and live with them - even for only a while - can truly understand the depth of grief in our hearts when, their mission over, the go back to the perfect World from which they came.
Some unexpected people helped me form this philisophy: a grief conselor, PhD in psychology, at the University where I said good-bye to Gretta told me, "Aminals choose their times of arrival and departure." And my vet, the wonderful Doctor Hinson, trained at the U of Penn (THE best vet school in America), and the consumate man of science, gave me two big hugs and said, "She's in a safe place now." And Mother Moonbeam on this site - a truly amazing person who has poured herself out time and time again to help others (us) understand and live through our special grief.
Never worry about "doing crazy stuff" because of grief. I loved you and your daughter sleeping with Aero's ashes and blankets. I was so sad for the first week that I slept on gretta's dog bed (it's a special, large orthopedic bed so I almost fit!). One her pillow. With her ashes. (I'm a solo so I can get by with a little more than those who live with others!!). I still cry daily - at least - for her. (Like now.) And my colleagues who see me walking around with tears in my eyes are kind enough not to say anything.
Aero's mom, we're in almost the exact same place/time in our grief - a year. How much do you think that initial "shot-in-the-heart" shock-and-awe pain of those first days do you think has dissipated? I think mine has settled in at about 75% and looks like it's going to stay there for a long time - maybe for the rest of my life.
Yesterday when I found out about Aero, I asked Gretta to go look for Aero and romp and play at Aero's birthday party. Aero, looks for a group of C spaniel brothers - they're Gretta's cousins. And hermie the bunny, and (oops forgot his name) the feerret and all the puppies and kitties and bunnies and birdies and lizards and every other special creature and you guys have ONE ROCKIN RIME at Aero's party. And when it calms down, please send some rays of warmth and comfort to Aero's mom - just like you do whenever somebody has a birthday up there.
Aero's mom - please be especially gentle and calm today. Your only assignment is to live - truly - exhale after inhaling - that's all. And listen very carefully for the huge bash going on in the Perfect World today.
Your travelling companion
Gretta's mom
Thank you Grettas mom for you response. I can't see through my tears! Over the past 12 months I've read all your post about Gretta and Rufus (which I'm glad he,s recovering ok) and there are 2 things that have stuck with me when I'm down is what you got told about where Gretta is now and when an animal chooses to join and leave us. I do understand that now but 6 months ago I wouldn't have. So thank you for that. I have come along way if you would have seen me last year you would have sectioned me! So I think now I'm probably the same as you 75% and I don't think I'll ever get to a hundred. For me is was like losing my first born. People would say "how many kids" and I'd sat 2 thats what she was to me my child. I know I had her for 16 years the best 16 years of my life but it's the letting go. I must have lived on another planet or summit I thought she would live forever.
I'm setting off a sky lantern tonight in memory of her. And last year I planted a white rose bush (she was white with black spots she looked like a mini Dalmatian) up at the local church and I have a special candle and plaque for her. I haven't gone today to light it as I still can't go out walking on my own I have panic attacks so I'm going tomorrow with my neighbour as he is the Gardner up there and looks after my baby's rose.
Thank you for taking time to be with me today even though we're at the opposite ends of the world.
Take care
Aeros mummy
I'm setting off a sky lantern tonight in memory of her. And last year I planted a white rose bush (she was white with black spots she looked like a mini Dalmatian) up at the local church and I have a special candle and plaque for her. I haven't gone today to light it as I still can't go out walking on my own I have panic attacks so I'm going tomorrow with my neighbour as he is the Gardner up there and looks after my baby's rose.
Thank you for taking time to be with me today even though we're at the opposite ends of the world.
Take care
Aeros mummy
Hi, Aeros mummy, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Aero. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Gretta's Mom has shared with you everything that is in my heart, so please read her response to you frequently knowing that it comes from the both of us.
If I may I would like to share some other thoughts with you: In my life's experiences I have come to understand that there truly is no such thing as "closure" or "getting over" the physical loss of a loved one - - whatever the life form. To me these terms mean "forgetting" and there is NO WAY in heaven or on earth that you will ever forget your beloved Aero. Love is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Therefore love is a continually growing presence. The love bond you and your beloved Aero share IS eternal. She is forever a part of you - - her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is forever in your heart and your memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.
Clinical professionals recognize that the first year of grief is the worst as it is filled with all the "firsts without". But the emptiness in our hearts doesn't miraculously disappear when the calendar says that it is the first year angel-versary. The first year is actually about survival - - enduring through the deepest seering pain of loss that we will know on this side of eternity -- both emotionally and physically. This grief journey is one of adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companions, and it can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in our own individual ways and in our own individual time. I am so glad you and your daughter have found healthy ways of coping through this year of survival. Each day has been a victory for you both getting to this point in time. I truly am very sorry that you encountered many difficulties you truly did not need during your first year of loss - - such as the loss of your job, but am very honored to be among the people on this wonderful forum who have been able to offer you comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Aero with us, and for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Aero's first year angel-versary. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Aeros mummy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Gretta's Mom has shared with you everything that is in my heart, so please read her response to you frequently knowing that it comes from the both of us.
If I may I would like to share some other thoughts with you: In my life's experiences I have come to understand that there truly is no such thing as "closure" or "getting over" the physical loss of a loved one - - whatever the life form. To me these terms mean "forgetting" and there is NO WAY in heaven or on earth that you will ever forget your beloved Aero. Love is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Therefore love is a continually growing presence. The love bond you and your beloved Aero share IS eternal. She is forever a part of you - - her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is forever in your heart and your memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.
Clinical professionals recognize that the first year of grief is the worst as it is filled with all the "firsts without". But the emptiness in our hearts doesn't miraculously disappear when the calendar says that it is the first year angel-versary. The first year is actually about survival - - enduring through the deepest seering pain of loss that we will know on this side of eternity -- both emotionally and physically. This grief journey is one of adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companions, and it can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in our own individual ways and in our own individual time. I am so glad you and your daughter have found healthy ways of coping through this year of survival. Each day has been a victory for you both getting to this point in time. I truly am very sorry that you encountered many difficulties you truly did not need during your first year of loss - - such as the loss of your job, but am very honored to be among the people on this wonderful forum who have been able to offer you comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Aero with us, and for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Aero's first year angel-versary. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Aeros mummy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Aero's mom
Just stopping by to see how you're doing. And ... to clear something up... when I said my grief was 75% now and would probably stay there for the rest of my life .... I meant that only 25% had gone away. I'm OK with that.
Just keep on breathing and putting one step in front of another ... life will have somethings for you - Aero will send them to you.
Have a peaceful night.
Gretta's mom
Just stopping by to see how you're doing. And ... to clear something up... when I said my grief was 75% now and would probably stay there for the rest of my life .... I meant that only 25% had gone away. I'm OK with that.
Just keep on breathing and putting one step in front of another ... life will have somethings for you - Aero will send them to you.
Have a peaceful night.
Gretta's mom
Good morning Aero's mom
Here's all my strength for you to use today. Gino, Gretta, Trevor and Rufus all say hello and are sending down their love and warmth.
Take care, my friend.
Gretta and Rufus's mom
Here's all my strength for you to use today. Gino, Gretta, Trevor and Rufus all say hello and are sending down their love and warmth.
Take care, my friend.
Gretta and Rufus's mom
Dear Moon-Beam, thank you for responding to my post I always read your words with great respect and take on board what you say. You are CORRECT there will never be closure ever I know she will always be with me so thank you for reassuring me. Also your right about the first of every thing. For me it has been a nightmare, I think Christmas was the hardest. As she was such a spoilt pooch and enjoyed opening her sisters presents from under the tree (well sniffing out the chocolate) It was heartbreaking we just stayed at home that day to remember her. It's been the full circle now of first but I no it will only get better a bit at a time.
Hi Grettas mom. Thanks for checking in on me and sorry for not replying soon but I've been emotionally drained! My eyes hurt so much from crying. I've been at home from work 3 days, one i booked off and Thursday and Friday are my days off, as I work weekends and a few days during the week and it's just what the doctor ordered!
The sky lantern didn't work very well (darn British weather) it nearly set a neighbours hedge on fire! And my candle was ruined, because of the weather so I couldn't light it but her rose is blooming nicely.
I hope your keeping well. And all the other grieving parents. For some reason this is suppose to be a life's lesson, but by god it's a very very hard one.
Please take care every one
Heather. Aeros mummy
Hi Grettas mom. Thanks for checking in on me and sorry for not replying soon but I've been emotionally drained! My eyes hurt so much from crying. I've been at home from work 3 days, one i booked off and Thursday and Friday are my days off, as I work weekends and a few days during the week and it's just what the doctor ordered!
The sky lantern didn't work very well (darn British weather) it nearly set a neighbours hedge on fire! And my candle was ruined, because of the weather so I couldn't light it but her rose is blooming nicely.
I hope your keeping well. And all the other grieving parents. For some reason this is suppose to be a life's lesson, but by god it's a very very hard one.
Please take care every one
Heather. Aeros mummy
It's been a while for me since I've come on here, which I feel really sad about. I can't explain but since I posted my first comment I felt a bit of solace. I wish I could reply to all the people who's heart have been ripped out, but it's hard, as they have helped me no end and not known it.
I visit today for a pick- me- up. Please forgive me if I sound selfish. In 2 days time I will be coming of age and it is the 2nd birthday with out my baby. Last year I was a wreck as it was only a couple of months and the first of all celebrations, since she passed. But this year I feel sad, I've been very emotional for the past couple of days, but I have to hide my feelings as no one seems to understand. I think what's done it is my in- laws passed on a pressie and card, which I opened and the card ( normally says daughter in law) had a picture of a dog on it saying " just for you" you might think so what! But we have a lot of negative history, as they haven't been good parents or grandparents. So to me I found it very it in sensitive and it's triggered a lot of emotions.
I know life some how has to carry on but it's hard so so hard. I miss her licks, her sweet smell. The touch of her fur, just everything. I would sell my soul just to have her back. I know she will be waiting for me on the other side, but I don't know if I can wait that long.
Thanks for listening.
I visit today for a pick- me- up. Please forgive me if I sound selfish. In 2 days time I will be coming of age and it is the 2nd birthday with out my baby. Last year I was a wreck as it was only a couple of months and the first of all celebrations, since she passed. But this year I feel sad, I've been very emotional for the past couple of days, but I have to hide my feelings as no one seems to understand. I think what's done it is my in- laws passed on a pressie and card, which I opened and the card ( normally says daughter in law) had a picture of a dog on it saying " just for you" you might think so what! But we have a lot of negative history, as they haven't been good parents or grandparents. So to me I found it very it in sensitive and it's triggered a lot of emotions.
I know life some how has to carry on but it's hard so so hard. I miss her licks, her sweet smell. The touch of her fur, just everything. I would sell my soul just to have her back. I know she will be waiting for me on the other side, but I don't know if I can wait that long.
Thanks for listening.
QUOTE (Aero @ Jul 15 2012, 02:13 AM) 
It's been a while for me since I've come on here, which I feel really sad about. I can't explain but since I posted my first comment I felt a bit of solace. I wish I could reply to all the people who's heart have been ripped out, but it's hard, as they have helped me no end and not known it.
I visit today for a pick- me- up. Please forgive me if I sound selfish. In 2 days time I will be coming of age and it is the 2nd birthday with out my baby. Last year I was a wreck as it was only a couple of months and the first of all celebrations, since she passed. But this year I feel sad, I've been very emotional for the past couple of days, but I have to hide my feelings as no one seems to understand. I think what's done it is my in- laws passed on a pressie and card, which I opened and the card ( normally says daughter in law) had a picture of a dog on it saying " just for you" you might think so what! But we have a lot of negative history, as they haven't been good parents or grandparents. So to me I found it very it in sensitive and it's triggered a lot of emotions.
I know life some how has to carry on but it's hard so so hard. I miss her licks, her sweet smell. The touch of her fur, just everything. I would sell my soul just to have her back. I know she will be waiting for me on the other side, but I don't know if I can wait that long.
Thanks for listening.
I visit today for a pick- me- up. Please forgive me if I sound selfish. In 2 days time I will be coming of age and it is the 2nd birthday with out my baby. Last year I was a wreck as it was only a couple of months and the first of all celebrations, since she passed. But this year I feel sad, I've been very emotional for the past couple of days, but I have to hide my feelings as no one seems to understand. I think what's done it is my in- laws passed on a pressie and card, which I opened and the card ( normally says daughter in law) had a picture of a dog on it saying " just for you" you might think so what! But we have a lot of negative history, as they haven't been good parents or grandparents. So to me I found it very it in sensitive and it's triggered a lot of emotions.
I know life some how has to carry on but it's hard so so hard. I miss her licks, her sweet smell. The touch of her fur, just everything. I would sell my soul just to have her back. I know she will be waiting for me on the other side, but I don't know if I can wait that long.
Thanks for listening.
I am so sorry to hear what's happened to you and Aero.
It's so natural that you are emotional and sad at this time. If I could give you a hug, I would - so please accept this heartfelt virtual hug.
What you feel is valid. Please hang on. People do care about you. Forget the insensitive ones.
CJ
Hi, Heather, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I so understand your feelings when you share with us: "In 2 days time I will be coming of age and it is the 2nd birthday with out my baby. Last year I was a wreck as it was only a couple of months and the first of all celebrations, since she passed. But this year I feel sad, I've been very emotional for the past couple of days, but I have to hide my feelings as no one seems to understand."
Heather, even though clinical professionals recognize that the first year of adjusting to the physical loss of a companion is the hardest as it is the first year of all the "first withouts", this does not mean that when the first calendar date "angel-versary" has come the feelings of sorrow and emptiness cease to exist. Although the deep seering pain of grief does ease, our hearts and lives still miss the phyiscal presence of our beloved companion(s). And when the angel-versary is associated with a special occasion - - such as a birthday, anniversary, holiday, etc., it is perfectly normal to have feelings of sadness, mixed emotions, etc., when these occasions are "celebrated." So please let me try to reassure you that the sadness you are feeling is very normal.
Also, please do not hesitate to come here to share with us what is in your heart and on your mind, Heather. There are no expiration dates here to share your thoughts and feelings, and no judgments made. You are always welcome here, Heather - - you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Heather, I am so sorry that the relationship you have with your husband's parents is not a good one. I know from first hand experience how strained relationships are very difficult to deal with, especially when they involve family members. As for the card, you don't have to keep it. If appropriate you can politely acknowledge receiving it, and then you can privately dispose of it as you see fit. This will allow you to have control over the situation.
I do understand how you feel when you share with us: "I know she will be waiting for me on the other side, but I don't know if I can wait that long." One of the hardest things facing us during our grief adjustment journey is the painful task of establishing a "new normal" - - of re-inventing our daily lives that no longer includes the physical presence of our beloved companion. Once again just because the first year "angel-versary" has come does not mean that somehow our lives automatically adjust to the physical absence of our beloved companions. From the moment our beloved companions precede us to the angels our adjustment journey begins - - and continues. In the beginning it is very painful and a constant challenge. As time progresses through our continued earthly journey there will be times when the adjustment seems to be achieved, but this does not mean that at some point in time we will recall a particular memory and find ourselves once again feeling deep sorrow and a longing to be with our beloved companion. The only thing I can say, Heather, is to try to encourage you to live your continued earthly journey in a way that will honor your beloved Aero, and to remember you have each of us here to help you through the difficult moments, to share with you the not so bad moments, and to celebrate with you the better moments.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Heather, and thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Aero with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Heather, that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Aero.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Heather, even though clinical professionals recognize that the first year of adjusting to the physical loss of a companion is the hardest as it is the first year of all the "first withouts", this does not mean that when the first calendar date "angel-versary" has come the feelings of sorrow and emptiness cease to exist. Although the deep seering pain of grief does ease, our hearts and lives still miss the phyiscal presence of our beloved companion(s). And when the angel-versary is associated with a special occasion - - such as a birthday, anniversary, holiday, etc., it is perfectly normal to have feelings of sadness, mixed emotions, etc., when these occasions are "celebrated." So please let me try to reassure you that the sadness you are feeling is very normal.
Also, please do not hesitate to come here to share with us what is in your heart and on your mind, Heather. There are no expiration dates here to share your thoughts and feelings, and no judgments made. You are always welcome here, Heather - - you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Heather, I am so sorry that the relationship you have with your husband's parents is not a good one. I know from first hand experience how strained relationships are very difficult to deal with, especially when they involve family members. As for the card, you don't have to keep it. If appropriate you can politely acknowledge receiving it, and then you can privately dispose of it as you see fit. This will allow you to have control over the situation.
I do understand how you feel when you share with us: "I know she will be waiting for me on the other side, but I don't know if I can wait that long." One of the hardest things facing us during our grief adjustment journey is the painful task of establishing a "new normal" - - of re-inventing our daily lives that no longer includes the physical presence of our beloved companion. Once again just because the first year "angel-versary" has come does not mean that somehow our lives automatically adjust to the physical absence of our beloved companions. From the moment our beloved companions precede us to the angels our adjustment journey begins - - and continues. In the beginning it is very painful and a constant challenge. As time progresses through our continued earthly journey there will be times when the adjustment seems to be achieved, but this does not mean that at some point in time we will recall a particular memory and find ourselves once again feeling deep sorrow and a longing to be with our beloved companion. The only thing I can say, Heather, is to try to encourage you to live your continued earthly journey in a way that will honor your beloved Aero, and to remember you have each of us here to help you through the difficult moments, to share with you the not so bad moments, and to celebrate with you the better moments.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Heather, and thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Aero with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Heather, that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Aero.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Dear Aero's Mom,
I am so very sorry that your year without Aero has been so much like mine. My Trevor's one-year anniversary is in one week - July 22nd - and each day that gets closer gets infinitely more dificult.
You were, and still are, a wonderful mommy to a super-duper doggie and please don't ever forget that! I promise to write more later (maybe in a few days), but I will never forget Aero and neither will Trevor!
With love and sympathy,
XOBobbieXO
I am so very sorry that your year without Aero has been so much like mine. My Trevor's one-year anniversary is in one week - July 22nd - and each day that gets closer gets infinitely more dificult.
You were, and still are, a wonderful mommy to a super-duper doggie and please don't ever forget that! I promise to write more later (maybe in a few days), but I will never forget Aero and neither will Trevor!
With love and sympathy,
XOBobbieXO
A person like u gives me hope that eventually i can come to terms wit my cats passing. On janurary 9th 2012 my mother had to make the decision to put my 15 yr old cat to sleep. Im 23 years old and had her since i was 6 so losing her was losing my bestfriend and my world. Its been 6 months since shes been gone and i still think maybe their could of been something more the vet could of done for her. She had a blood clot that paralyzed her back legs and tail in just one night. Over night her back legs were gone i knew while taking her to the vet i was gonna loose her. I still cry over her and noone understands it. I read everyones post here and sometimes i wish i can just come to terms wit it and i cant. Its good u came to terms wit it thou and wish i can b like u.
To the most beautiful girl in the world. Thank you for the wonderful birthday card your big sister sent from you both. I am trying to be strong and not to get to upset, but it's hard. And I know you want me to be happy but I miss you so much. I will treasure your card in my memory box forever, and you look after you big sis for me please! Till me meet, love you always and forever mummy ***x
Dear CJ thank you for your cyber hug it's much needed, people are so special on here we are so far apart but yet close, brought on by the loss of a fur-child. Again thank you so much.
Dear Moon-Beam thank you for your words of comfort they always make me cry but also make me know there is always kind and compassionate people like yourself giving wise words of wisdom to help others what you have been through yourself. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.
Dear Bobbie thank you for your reply. I think people like you need a medal, for what you do and done for all your fur babies, you never give up. If there was more people like you in the world maybe there would be as much suffering and abandonment. You make a real difference. I will be thinking of you in a few days when it's Trevors one year anniversary. God bless.
Dear EvEf please trust me when I say you will feel some sort of calm ( that's the only way I can describe it) over the loss of your baby. But in no way does the ache go away. If you saw me last year to now you wouldn't believe it. I must say though I've changed a lot in myself i look at things differently more spiritualy and that has helped me lots and this website too. Only Im a talker which I think that's why it can be hard as I find a lot of humans don't understand and have the compassion we do. Please be strong
Heather, Aeros mummy ***xx
Dear CJ thank you for your cyber hug it's much needed, people are so special on here we are so far apart but yet close, brought on by the loss of a fur-child. Again thank you so much.
Dear Moon-Beam thank you for your words of comfort they always make me cry but also make me know there is always kind and compassionate people like yourself giving wise words of wisdom to help others what you have been through yourself. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.
Dear Bobbie thank you for your reply. I think people like you need a medal, for what you do and done for all your fur babies, you never give up. If there was more people like you in the world maybe there would be as much suffering and abandonment. You make a real difference. I will be thinking of you in a few days when it's Trevors one year anniversary. God bless.
Dear EvEf please trust me when I say you will feel some sort of calm ( that's the only way I can describe it) over the loss of your baby. But in no way does the ache go away. If you saw me last year to now you wouldn't believe it. I must say though I've changed a lot in myself i look at things differently more spiritualy and that has helped me lots and this website too. Only Im a talker which I think that's why it can be hard as I find a lot of humans don't understand and have the compassion we do. Please be strong
Heather, Aeros mummy ***xx
Hello Aero's mom
Here's a note to say I'm thinking about you and sending you some caring vibes. The past few days have been difficult ones for me so I've been away for a while but I want you to know that somebody - lots of somebodies - understand and care. Aero is spectacular. And don't let those who have not been as blessed a we have by being able to share an earthly life with our soul-mate fur baby.
Gretta's mom
Here's a note to say I'm thinking about you and sending you some caring vibes. The past few days have been difficult ones for me so I've been away for a while but I want you to know that somebody - lots of somebodies - understand and care. Aero is spectacular. And don't let those who have not been as blessed a we have by being able to share an earthly life with our soul-mate fur baby.
Gretta's mom
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