Rocky died, now my beautiful and beloved cat Beauty has died less than two months after rocky died, don't know how I will go on without her, she was my BEST FRIEND, CONFIDANTE, CHERISHED LOVE. Beauty gave me so much support and understanding,
BEAUTY WAS MY WHOLE WORLD, SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING
I MISS HER SO MUCH!!!I don't know how I will go on without her,
I feel so utterly uttterly utterly sad
Help

Oh hesista, I am so sorry to hear about your cat Beauty. Please accept my sincere sympathies on your loss. This has got to be so heart-wrenching for you as you lost your Rocky just 2 months ago. I am at a loss as to what to say. It doesn't seem fair that you have to endure another loss so soon. Could you tell us what happened to Beauty?


Hugs,
DannysMom

My beloved Beauty was taken by coyote, its all my fault, I didn't do what I should've to deter coyotes away. I know the coyotes habitats are destroyed by humàn greed and they are starving and just trying to feed their babies so they are not to blame. I did everything wrong by not doing what I had to to encourage them elsewhere, I know its my fault.
The pain is so severe, l don't know how to go on without her. When rocky died beauty gave me such love and support, I was able to halfway cope because I had my love I had my beauty, now my beauty has died and she is not here to comfort me,
I JUST WANT BEAUTY BACK!!!!!! I JUST WANT BEAUTY BACK!I JUST WANT BEAUTY BACK!
I knew from the beginning rocky would not be with me long but I thought I had 14 years more with beauty, she was only 6 1/2. I spent every last penny on her to feed her organic raw meats, eggs, yogurt, I fed her whenever she wanted. She was strong and healthy and very coyote-wise. And my other dogs diligently kept the coyotes away from her and protected her. I thought we were relatively safe. When rocky died I told her I just would not survive if anything happened to her, I told her this all day everyday after rocky died
... and then beauty died only 1 1/2 months later..

Do you all know what I mean when I say I don't know how to survive this, feels like the pain is killing me from the inside out

Hesista, I am so very sorry. That is just horrible what happened to your sweet little Beauty. My heart goes out to you. You took such good care of your sweet little Beauty. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful this must be for you. It must feel like your heart is being ripped apart. Hesista, please know that we are here for you. I am sure moon_beam will send you a really nice letter today. Please take good care of yourself.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Hi, hesista, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Beauty. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a very short period of time intensifies the grief.

Hesista, despite our very best efforts to protect our companions during their earthly journey there is absolutely no way we can be all-powerful and omnipotent. We can put up fences to keep wandering predators -- both wildlife and domestic - - at bay yet someone will find a way over, under, or through the fence. We can apply pest repellant to our furkids yet ticks still find a way to attach themselves before we find them and can remove them. We can put them on a heartworm preventitive yet still some companions end up with this very life-threatening disease. We can keep our furkids on a regular medical follow up with their veterinary practitioners yet still injury and illness afflict their bodies. You did EVERYTHING in your human and humane power to provide a safe, healthy, and happy earthly journey for both your beloved Rocky and Beauty. Even your canine companions kept loving and diligent vigil over Beauty to try to protect her from harm.

Hesista, in spite of knowing all of this I know your heart is shattered with the deepest seering pain of loss that right now is beyond comfort. I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the deep sorrow that is in your heart. I can only hope that the words I share with you will try to help you to know you are not alone in your deep grief. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. And hopefully as your deep grief eases you will know that your beloved Beauty's sweet Living Spirit is still with you - - she is forever with you in your heart and your memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Ii am in so much pain, feel so much sorrow, don't know why this happened
How could beauty have been taken from me, I loved her so so so so so much and so soon after rocky
Something very wrong happened, this should not have happened.
I appreciate moon beams kind words, trying to relieve me of responsibility but I know I did not do what I should have to protect her. I was careless because beauty was so aware of predators and very careful herself.
Beauty loved being outside, she loved looking across the fields and trees, she loved to feel the wind blowing on her face and the sunshine on her body and the feel of the earth. She loved walking through the grass
Beauty never went further than 20 feet from the home by herself. If she walked further it was to follow me and my dogs when we went for a walk, and we loved it when she followed us. There was no way I was going to force her to just be in the house, beauty would rather live and die living a life she loved. Still the pain and grief is so horrible, I just want her back more than anything, I MISS BEAUTY SO MUCH!!! Life for me seems like a crazy dream, I can't stand it. It feels like her death can't be real, it just can't have happened. I'm in such horrible sorrow and pain

I feel so utterly alone and lonely, I tried to talk to crisis workers and petloss hotline workers but they said the most horrible hurtful remarks just to gratify their egos and power trips. Its been horrible.
I don't know which way to go up or down left or right, I just want Beauty back
I want to believe more than anything that beauty is still with me

Im so sorry to hear about Beauty, but i know how u feel I lost my cat alil less then 4 months now and she was my everything my bestfriend my heart and my soul and witout her i feel lost so i can honestly say i know your pain and all i can say is that it sucks. Life does go on but its just not the same. ATleast on here other people know our pain

I always put beauty and all my animals first before my needs, as long as they were happy i could breathe and keep on. There are so many things I wish I had done more for beauty, like picking her up and hugging her more, I didn't know if sometimes she liked it or whether I was forcing it on her so I didn't do it very often but looking back I realized how much she wished I had pickeded her up and held her close to me, I would give anything to have her to pick her up and hold her close to me to roll back time and hold her everytime she looked up to me with those incredibly gorgeous green eyes, I realized now she was asking to be picked up and held when she did that, I wish she was still alive for me to do that with her,
There are some loud people moved next door I can hear all their loud yelling and it is making it hthe grieving even harder

Hi, hesista, please let me try to offer you some comfort in this time of deep sorrow.

I know it is incredibly hard right now to find any form of comfort or peace from the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. For whatever it matters, I find great wisdom in your words that you shared with us: ". . . beauty would rather live and die living a life she loved. I always put beauty and all my animals first before my needs, as long as they were happy i could breathe and keep on." Your beloved Beauty is eternally grateful to you for giving her a full life during her earthly journey - - a life that she TOTALLY ENJOYED despite the dangers that exist. I hope and pray that as your deep grief eases you will be able to embrace the comfort of the words you have shared with us into your heart.

Unfortunately no matter how much time we have with our companions during their earthly journey it is never long enough - - for we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more lifetime with them - - to love them, to hold them, to take care of them, to be with them. The good news is that your beloved Beauty's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is always and forever a part of you, hesista - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

I truly am very sorry that the responses you received from the crisis hotlines were unkind. Unfortunately some of the people who staff the phones are not suited to handle crisis situations. I am so very glad you are here with us, hesista. Each of us DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I know right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss that is in your heart. This grief journey is a very painful one both emotionally and physically. I can understand how the loud noise from your neighbors adds to the burden of your grief, because right now your mind, body, and spirit are overwhelmed. Regardless of whatever else is going on around you, hesista, it is important that you focus on what YOU need to help you through this time of deep sorrow and stress.

Thank you for sharing with us how you're doing, hesista. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you everybody, thank you all for being with me
.my dreams are filled wth my grief, I dream all night about how I wish beauty was still me, my dreaMtime is the same as my waking time, all night I am wishing and feeling and talking of how much I wish beauty was still with me in my dreams, sometimes I see her then I immediately wake up and she is not there, those of you who experienced that you know the agony of waking up to realize they have died after seeing them so real in the dream.

I am going to move here pretty soon because those new neighbors are making so much unbearable noise, it stresses me so bad
I still think something went wrong beyond the normal life risks
, her death seems so unnatural and should not have happened

I wish now I should have picked her up and held her so close to me and felt her loving and grateful purring letting me know how she cherished that closeness, I just worried she didn't like the act of being picked up but I didn't know how she cherished it and certainly I so much loved and cherished it... I wish I had done it whenever she looked up at me

Hesista, I am very sorry that you have to endure the loud neighbors. I know from my own experience how stressful that can be, and it comes at a time for you when you are least able to deal with loud neighbors. Hesista, I am so sorry that you are hurting so much, and it must be so unbearable and maybe you feel like you cannot go on. Hesista, it will not always be like this. The first three months in the grief journey are the hardest to bear. Please be especially kind to yourself. I wish there was more I could do to help. I looked at some answers on how to protect pets from coyotes. I hope it may help you in the future as well as other people.

Q: How can I protect my cat or dog from coyotes?

A: There are a number of things you can do to prevent your small pet (cat or dog) from being attacked by a coyote.

Keep small pets (cats, small dogs and other pets) indoors from dusk until dawn. Or keep pets in a coyote-proof yard, area or cage from dusk until dawn.

Install a fence or convert your fence to prevent coyotes from entering your yard.

Feed your pets indoors. Or if you feed them outdoors do so during the day and never leave pet food out at night.

Make sure trash is not left outside in bags and that all trash cans have secure lids with locking mechanisms. Secure the cans to a fence or wall with rope or elastic cord so the trash cannot be tipped over.

Install motion sensitive lights in your back yard and around your house.

Don’t leave fruit, berries or compost on the ground or uncovered.

Don’t overflow birdfeeders. Hang them high or in areas that are not accessible to coyotes.

NEVER feed coyotes.

You can install one or more 7 foot or higher posts with a platform at the top for cats to use as an escape from coyotes. The posts need to be made of a material that the cats can climb. When being chased by a predator a cat can climb the post and sit on the platform until it is safe to descend and the coyote is gone.

Clear brush and vegetation to remove habitat for small animals that may attract coyotes and to remove areas where coyotes can hide while stalking their prey.

Always keep pets on a leash when walking in parks, forest areas or in residential areas.

The above is from the site: http://www.desertusa.com/june96/cycot_qa.html

Here are a few tips to help protect pets from coyote attacks:

Keep your animals secured either inside or in a kennel both day and night when they are left unsupervised.

A fence at least six-feet high will help provide a deterrent. Be sure the fence is buried at least one foot into the ground (with an apron base) so coyotes will not be able to dig under the fence.
Keep your dog on leash when walking in areas with a known coyote population and carry a walking stick, air horn, whistle, or an aluminum can filled with coins to help scare off a coyote.
Never approach a coyote, let your dog approach one or intentionally feed them.
Protect fruit trees and vegetable gardens to deter coyotes from scavenging for food on your property.
Do not leave food and water bowls outside and keep your garbage neatly stacked in a sealed container.
Remember: coyotes are not afraid of your dog, but they are afraid of you. If approached by a coyote on your property or while on a walk, make eye contact, yell and make noise, wave your hands over your head and do your best to look as big and as intimidating as possible. These actions will reinforce the coyote’s natural fear of people.
Never turn your back on a coyote.
Vary your regular walking routine as coyotes can pick up on daily patterns.

The Humane Society has some great tips for 'hazing' coyotes, that is keeping them away. You can read this at: http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/coyot...guidelines.html

This also helps: Install a motion-detecting, strobe light system around the perimeter of your home. Strobe alarm systems flash lights and emit high-pitched sounds that ward off coyotes.

I hope this helps. I know it won't bring Beauty back, but maybe it will help to protect your dogs.

I appreciate your response to my pain. However all the advice reinforces the guilt because I did not adhere to them, it confirms to me that it is all my fault since I did not do the requirements, so it hurts me and cuts the bleeding wound even deeper

Hesista, I am sorry. I was concerned about your dogs, since coyotes are known to even attack large dogs. I don't know how small or large your dogs are, but I was hoping that this will help to protect them from harm. I did not mean to add to your pain, just concerned about your other fur kids.

Thank you dannysmom
Your letters have been so kind, so caring and profoundly important to me. When I read the list of things I should've done I just broke down in the pain of guilt and culpability, I knew some of those things and didn't attend to it because beauty was so coyote wise and my dogs always kept them away from her, so I was very lax and reading some of those things on the list I know I was lax on killed me over and over again. I know you meant only love and caring, I know that completely
I know you are a feline lover and mommy so you know this pain, you gorgeous tuxedo kitties, oh they are so beautiful, you are sooo lucky to have this angel with amber eyes. I wish I had her, when beauty died and Ididnt even want to make it or go on, I remembered you letter where when you cried this angel would put her paw on your face and cuddle close and purr her heart out. I have thought of that often.
I want you to know I appreciate your letter like I appreciate oxygen to breathe

And to moonbeam and evef,
Thank you for everthing you said and say, same as I said to dannysmom your letters are as important to me as oxygen to breathe..... thankyou moonbeam, thank you

Hesista, I think we all have been at the point where you are, wondering how to go on without our beloved fur kids. When my Danny died just a few days after Christmas I wanted to die right along with him. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, and there was just no consolation, only this intense and unbelievable pain. I cried and cried so much and wanted Danny back, and I know that is what you must be going through right now. Hesista, you will get through this, not over it, but through it. Your hurts will heal with time, and one day you will feel better. The pain will never go away completely, but it won't be so intense all the time.

Thank you for your comment on Mindy. She came into my life at just the right time to comfort me. It is so wonderful how our fur babies know when we are hurting and need comfort. My other cat, Tina, is slowly dying of cancer, so I'm really leaning on Mindy for comfort right now, and I freak out when she coughs or sneezes, because I can't imagine losing her too. Hesista, I know it seems too much to bear right now, but you are stronger than you think. Please try to find comfort in small things.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Dannysmom
Could you take tina to a holistic vet, they have surprisingly good success if the cancer is slow moving, homeopathy, acupuncture, herbs, chiropractic, etc. Tina may have a chance if you catch it now

I don't want to move from here where memories of rocky and beauty are everywhere ,this was their home. It was also the place where they died. It is very painful to think of leaving here

I wish beauty was in my arms, slowly blinking her eyes when she was saying "I love you mama", she had the sweetest meow you ever heard, absolutely the sweetest meow

sad sad sad.....

Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. When we are in deep grief it is very important for us not to make any major decisions unless they are life dependent. When we are in deep grief we are very emotionally vulnerable and it is challenging to stay focused long enough to make the most simplest of decisions - - what to eat, what to wear to work, etc.. Unless we are faced with a life dependent situation, it is better to wait until the deep sorrow has passed and we can focus better on making more important decisions - - like new decisions that involve moving, etc..

Hesista, I promise you this deep sorrow will eventually ease, although right now it seems like it will always be this intense. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are never alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. There are no judgments made here. This is a safe place where you can come to share what is in your heart and on your mind. You are among friends here.

I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moonbeam for writing me, I am so grateful for your support
Its hard not to feel judged when everyone seems to ignore me.
When beauty died, I pcked what I could and me and my dogs were just goin to drive and drive, didn't care where as long as it was away from here. Fortunately the weather and finances delayed it or else it couldvé been really bad. I still have to move at some point soon as more and more noisy people move next door, but this time I will make better and careful plans to move to where we are safe and secure, or as good as I can. I wish I didn't have,to move but my peace of mind needs quiet and tranquility even sommeone speaking in a loud tone in conversation leaves me unnerved as hell

Thank you moonbeam for being there, your words are like warm ocean waves, soothing and comforing

I think coming to a forum like this can be helpful. Today, I felt something when thinking about the responses from the people here about the loss of my boy. Something good. It didn't change the pain of his loss, but...

Maybe it's because in a public medium I was able to talk about him, say that he mattered, and say how much his loss meant. Then strangers, who not only know what I felt but also had no social or family obligation to click 'reply', hit 'reply'. They took the time to say 'yes he was important' and 'you are not alone' and they don't even know me.

There are sometimes certain combinations of people and situations where it does no good to repeat a conversation or perhaps even go there in the first place. Sometimes, through no one's fault, even the most painful of words can fall on deaf ears. So, I guess I'm saying try to seek out those places and moments where your words will be heard and where expressing them can be a source of comfort instead of frustration.

My cat died eight months ago... It's not recent anymore. I still wake up in the morning, and although I no longer expect to see him, I still feel pangs because he is missing.

What you've had to endure, I'm sad to say, sounds horrific. I can't imagine or want to imagine how it would feel. You will have to get through it, somehow, as someone already said, though it will be hard. I agree, it is not something you 'get over'.

I hope that there can be some comfort, for you also, in the people on this forum saying you are not alone...

I can't understand how I still function, I look at myself and wonder, how are you able to do this

Hi, hesista, you are "functioning" on what I call "automatic pilot." You are still in a state of shock in your deep grief, and for survival your mind and body are in a protective cocoon that allows you to "function". I do so relate to your wondering how this can be - - things get done, work gets done, bills get paid, errands are done, - - but as Gretta's Mom would say feeling more like a "robot walk." The shock of your deep grief will gradually ease as your mind and body are stronger to function more normally.

How are you able to do this? Because your beloved Beauty wants you to. You must do this to honor the unconditional love she gave to you during her earthly journey, and the eternal love bond you and your beloved Beauty continue to share. You are her legacy of her earthly journey, and she needs you to keep the torch of the eternal love bond you share burning brightly as you continue with your earthly journey. I know right now this feels like a very painful responsibility, but eventually you will come to embrace it as an honor when the seering pain of sorrow eases in your heart. Each day brings you closer to this moment when the burden of sorrow will not be so intense.

I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

That's beautiful what you wrote, "you are the legacy of her earthly journey", its true, how else will the world know that such a perfect amazing beautiful wonder named beauty was so profoundly cherished and adored and graced this sacred mother earth and graced all of us for having been born and alive.

That's beautiful what you wrote, "you are the legacy of her earthly journey", its true, how else will the world know that such a perfect amazing beautiful wonder named beauty was so profoundly cherished and adored and graced this sacred mother earth and graced all of us for having been born and alive.

My most cherished adored beauty, so innocent and without guile. Iwanted you to know how cherished and loved you are. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I made that caused you stress. I never did it on purpose, only if I felt I needed to make choices in life,real or imagined. But I always tried to do the best I could. I am such afallible human. I am sorry.I always did my best to make up for my mistakes. My precious beauty, I never thought I was going to have to live without you. My amazing Beauty... my amazing Beauty

Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the beautiful love letter to your beloved Beauty. One of the many amazing qualities our companions have is the ability to accept their human caregiver's imperfections. They lovingly accept us for who we are and ask only that we love them. Please know that your beloved Beauty knows that you ALWAYS did your very best for her from the deepest love in your heart. She is forever grateful to you for being her Forever Mom.

I hope today is being kind to you, hesista, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moonbeam

I really do want to believe that beauty knew that I loved her more than anyone on earth could, that all her needs and desires were highest priorities for me, much much more important than my own needs because her happiness was my own greatest happiness. I had to make choices in moving this winter that caused her huge stress. I did it to protect rocky from someone and also I was escaping an abusive communal resident who was a **ian and very aggresive. I knew it would hurt my beauty but every part of me was screaming " we have to get out of here" I told beauty why we were moving. Unfortunately it turned out to be very horrendously stressful for my love. But I told beauty when we finally settled, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her, I would make up for all the stress and trauma she went through. And then she died, I had plans how to make her happier and I never got to give that to her. That's what hurts so bad, I never got to do what I planned to make her earthly life as close to heaven as possible.

Beauty, I love you more than anyone else can

Hi, hesista, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. From what you have shared with us, it sounds to me like you accomplished a MAJOR part of your goal to give your beloved Beauty a happy earthly journey by moving out of the abusive living situation you were in. I personally know how stressful it is to live in an abusive situation. The only solution is to move elsewhere, and this by itself helps to restore peace and tranquility to one's mind, spirit, and heart. This however does not ease the deep burden of sorrow in losing your beloved Beauty's precious physical presence. However please know your beloved Beauty is so eternally grateful for giving her the freedom from an abusive atmosphere where she could share a "better time" with you before she transitioned home to the angels.

I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moonbeam
After we settled, rocky was safe from an egomaniac who was threatened by rockys princely dignity and I was able to give beauty 2 months that I was with her most of the time. I told her how much I love her and how I tried in those two months to begin the reparations from the stress I put her through

I wish I had held her close to me more, I just didn't know whether she liked being picked up so I was afraid it might upset her but looking back I know how she would have cherished it and I loved it holding her close to me feeling and hearing her purr, it didn't get better than that.

Beauty my beloved, my gem of heaven and earth

My love, my beloved beauty,
I wish you were still alive to smell the wonderful scents of spring, to feel the warm sun on your face again and the wind on your face and the loving mother earth on your tummy as you rested on the ground amid the grass. I wish you were here to revel in the beauty of life, that meant everything to you. I lived to see you happy because it overflowed my joy

I am told that you are in a place with all this whose splendor is infinitely more beautiful than here so I know you are in the paradise of your dreams with all this magnified infinetley......
I just wish we could enjoy it together, me holding you...together...sitting together, walking together, telling each other stories...together.... always together.... paradise will only be paradise as long as we are in each others arms

Hi, hesista, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beautful love letter to your beloved Beauty. I agree with you when you say "paradise will only be paradise as long as we are in each others arms". But for now our paradise is knowing that our beloved companions are still with us in our hearts and our memories - - their sweet Living Spirit always with us as we continue our earthly journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and that you and your precious companions will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moonbeam for being there for me with your compassion and support. My health is definetly affected, I don't care about it for myself but for my furbabies that need me.

Beauty, my sacred treasure, sacred daughter of mother earth,
I miss you so much
I was so rich with you in my life

It still doesn't seem real
I keep slipping into denial, thinking you're going show up