Hi everyone, it's been about a year since I was here last getting support for loosing my rabbit Seabiscuit. It's only a year and a half after his death and now I'm trying to cope with losing my other bunny Chloe who just died last night. Her death was a complete surprise and I'm still trying to process that she's actually gone. I have only just started coming to terms with Seabiscuit's death, and for Chloe to die now so similarly has just brought all these horrible feelings back again.

I only noticed that something was wrong with her yesterday when she didn't finish her breakfast. Determined not to make the same mistake I made with Seabiscuit, I called up the vet right away and booked her in for that afternoon. Between then and the appointment she got a lot worse but I was really confident that I had caught it early on and she would be okay. But when the vet looked at her, she said right away that Chloe was in serious trouble, and then started talking to me about the possibility of euthanising her. My heart just dropped, I wasn't expecting it at all and thought that she had just maybe had a mild case of GI stasis that was totally 100% curable. Turns out she had pneumonia on top of that. The vet gave her some sub q fluids and some antibiotics and sent us home. By the time we got home, I could see that Chloe wasn't going to make it, she could barely walk and was having a really hard time breathing. I tried to syringe feed her some food but she wouldn't take any of it. I sat on the floor with her for an hour before bed bawling my eyes out and saying my goodbyes, and then shut the door to her room knowing that I probably wouldn't see her again in the morning. When I woke up she was dead.

I had her for 7 years and we had been through so much together. We both just moved from America to the UK a little more than a year ago, and I can't believe that after such a short time of being here she's now gone. She was my anchor to a lot of things, my home and family back in the US, my bunny Seabiscuit, my childhood. I got her when I was 16 and grew so much with her there. My life has changed so much in this past year- moving to the UK, getting married, having a baby. It was really comforting to still have her with me through all that. I feel so frustrated now that I wasn't able to be there for her a lot this past year, with having a baby I have barely seen my bunnies at all. I wish I could've spent more time with her, maybe if I did I would've picked up on her being sick sooner. And now that she's gone I can't even mourn for her properly, I feel like I'm constantly on the go with my 8 month old. Having to come to terms with her death and then going straight into "mom mode" this morning was really tough. It's very unsettling going about my daily routine like nothing happened, when in the back of my mind I can't stop thinking about my poor girl.

She was such a dainty, timid bunny who never really warmed up to people but she did the littlest things every now and then to let you know she cared about you like giving you nose bonks when you stroked her or running up to you out of the blue that made you feel really privileged. She always took a back seat to things compared to my other buns but I really loved her a lot for it. I'm going to miss her so much.

Hi, BiscuitsMommy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Chloe. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two, or more, companions in a short period of time intensifies the grief.

BiscuitsMommy, there is no doubt in my mind as I read through your post that you did everything in your power to give Chloe a happy, healthy earthly journey with you. Please do not blame yourself for not noticing sooner what was happening with your Chloe. Our companions are very adept at disguising how they are feeling. It is a genetic trait they inherit from their wild cousins. By the time they can no longer disguise what is happening the illness / injury has already begun to take a toll on their physical bodies. Sometimes veterinary medicine can provide a good quality of life, and sometimes, such as in the case of your beloved Chloe, the only thing we can offer our companions is comfort measures and being faced with the most difficult decision of helping to ease their transition journey home to the angels.

You have been, and still are, going through many major adjustments in your life, and now you have the adjustment journey of not having your beloved Chloe physically with you. It is important that you try to find some quiet time just for you - - and yes I know this is easier said than done - - so that you can grieve for your beloved Chloe. This is important not only emotionally but physically as well. Suprressed grief eventually will need to be dealt with, and sometimes it comes with a medical crisis. So please allow yourself the opportunity to release the sorrow that is in your heart. And please know that each of us truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, BiscuitsMommy. I hope as your deep grief eases you will know that your beloved Chloe's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you in your heart and your memories - - she is always a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Chloe with us, BiscuitsMommy. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us, but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, BiscuitsMommy, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much Moon Beam for your kind words, I've been trying to find time to think of Chloe on my own. Yesterday was the day of the week that I usually give their room a good clean out, it was so hard to clean out the litter box for the last time. I think loosing Biscuit taught me a lot about dealing with loosing a loved one, because I think I'm dealing with Chloe's passing a lot better. At least it doesn't hurt quite as much this time around although I miss her so much.

Hi, BiscuitsMommy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Each physical loss of a companion is unique, as each relationship we have with each of our companions is unique. It is normal to feel sorrow when you do things for the "last time" such as cleaning out Chloe's litter box and straightening up the room. The good news is that while these are "last things" because your beloved Chloe is no longer physically with you, your beloved Chloe's sweet Living Spirit is still sharing your daily routines with you. She may no longer need the litter box, but she is forever thankful to you - - her Forever Mom - - for all the care you gave to her during her earthly journey, and for the forever love you hold for her in your heart and memories.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, BiscuitsMommy. I hope today is being kind to you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello BiscuitsMom

Let me add my heart's feelings of condolence to those of Moonbeam. She's right ... just because they don't need a litter box any more doesn't mean they're not right there with you - only a breath away, as Moonbeam says. On their jobs - watching out for you, guiding your steps, being the funny-bunnies that they are - and most important, loving you and being loved by you. In the words of my vet, the ultimate man of science "She's (my Gretta) in a safe place now." If HE believes that, then so do I. Gretta' just had her first year angel-versary - April 10 - so I know your bunnies were there - nibbling at the frosting on the bottom of the cake - where it's most delicious. And, know what? In the Perfect World frosting isn't fattening!!

My heart is with you BiscuitsMom.

Gretta's mom

HELLO BiscuitsMom

Just stopping by to see how you are and to say I'm with you and Gretta welcomed Chloe and that you can have all my strength tonight.

Gretta
s mom