I just want to thank you all for the wonderful stories that have helped me get through the past 7 days. This site is amazing but also heartbreaking.
I lost the love of my life last Tuesday night. After returning home from an all day business trip, I found my 12 year old kitty Leroy Brown on the floor by his litter box, he couldn't use his back legs and clearly struggled to get to either his litter box (such a good boy) or his food. I got him to the ER Vet and he was gone in 30 minutes by my decision, even though there was no other option.
I am struggling because I wasn't home and I know he suffered. I'm not sure how I will get through this, I see him out of the corner of my eye and feel him jumping on my bed. It is agonizing.
Again, I thank you all and send love to all of you who lost your babies. I know a lot of people don't understand the loss of a pet, to them I have many things to say but will keep it clean for the forum sake :-0
Full Version: Lost My Leroy Brown
Stacey, please accept my sincere sympathies on the loss of your sweet Leroy Brown. I am sorry for your loss. Stacey, please don't torture yourself with guilt. There is no way you could have known this would happen. We do not have the gift of foreknowledge. Leroy knows you loved him, and it must have been comforting for him to have you there with him when he passed on. Thanks for sharing the photo of him with us. He sure was a handsome cat. Stacey, please know that the first few weeks are the hardest in the grief journey. There are so many ups and downs and twists and turns. When we cry it does help to release the pain that we are feeling. Please know that we are here for you to offer support, comfort and encouragement.
Hugs,
DannysMom
Hugs,
DannysMom
Stacey
My heart goes out to you in the passing of the wonderful Leroy Brown. What an amazing name - and an even more amazing picture! A truly chocolate brown cat - don't think I've ever seen one before. Stacey, you are one strong woman - scoop up Leroy, race to the ER vet and make the most loving and terrible decision you'll ever have to make - to set Leroy Brown free. Although you can't see him or pet him or hold him or play with him on this earth, Leroy Brown is NOT gone. As you're already feeling, he's right where he's always been - by your side, watching over the best mom on the planet, guiding your steps, and, most important, loving you and being loved by you. Animals are SO different from people - good thing, eh? Even though he may have been in some pain, Leroy felt your love all around and over him at all times. People here have hepled me understand that this love is so strong that it goes straight to their hearts and takes the place of any pain or worry. Stay strong and do WHATEVER - I mean WHATEVER - you need to do for your own heart. (The day I said good-bye to my Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, I velcro-ed two of her snowsuits (which she hated) to make a pillow and then slept on her huge orthopedice bed for over a week.) So never worry about peope here not understanding. This is the best support site there is - BY FAR.
Breathe deeply and move slowly through your day. We're all here for you.
Gretta's mom
My heart goes out to you in the passing of the wonderful Leroy Brown. What an amazing name - and an even more amazing picture! A truly chocolate brown cat - don't think I've ever seen one before. Stacey, you are one strong woman - scoop up Leroy, race to the ER vet and make the most loving and terrible decision you'll ever have to make - to set Leroy Brown free. Although you can't see him or pet him or hold him or play with him on this earth, Leroy Brown is NOT gone. As you're already feeling, he's right where he's always been - by your side, watching over the best mom on the planet, guiding your steps, and, most important, loving you and being loved by you. Animals are SO different from people - good thing, eh? Even though he may have been in some pain, Leroy felt your love all around and over him at all times. People here have hepled me understand that this love is so strong that it goes straight to their hearts and takes the place of any pain or worry. Stay strong and do WHATEVER - I mean WHATEVER - you need to do for your own heart. (The day I said good-bye to my Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, I velcro-ed two of her snowsuits (which she hated) to make a pillow and then slept on her huge orthopedice bed for over a week.) So never worry about peope here not understanding. This is the best support site there is - BY FAR.
Breathe deeply and move slowly through your day. We're all here for you.
Gretta's mom
Hi, Stacey, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Leroy Brown. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Stacey, our forum friends DannysMom and Gretta's Mom have shared with you what is also in my heart, so please read their responses frequently. This grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of our beloved companions, and it is both emotionally and physically painful. Please let me try to add my reassurance to you that what you are feeling is very normal grief - -painful, yes - - yet very normal. The adjustment to our companions' physical absence does not happen overnight, or within a day, a week, a month - - it happens slowly and gradually - - sometimes we think the deep grief will never end - - or it will end with us going insane. I promise you, Stacey, what you are feeling is NORMAL, and one day probably when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Leroy Brown and smiling - - truly smilling - - and then you will feel your beloved Leroy Brown's sweet Living Spirit fill your heart and you will know that everything will be okay again. Why? Because you will know that your beloved Leroy Brown is still with you just as he always has been and always will be - - he is forever a part of you - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.
What you are experiencing, "I see him out of the corner of my eye and feel him jumping on my bed" - - is very normal. It can be quite unsettling, though, but I assure you these are visits from your beloved Leroy Brown letting you know that he is still with you. Hopefully you will begin to find comfort in his visits, for you are in his heart, too. There are times when I still hear my beautiful baby girl's Abbygayle collar rattle - - and it is right here on my night stand next to my bed - - no reason for it to rattle, and sometimes I feel her sweet presence on the bed - - and my precious little Noah is elsewhere in the house. These are comforting for me, and I hope somehow you will find comfort in the times your beloved Leroy Brown stops by - - reaches across the boundary of time and space - - to let you know he is still with you.
I thank you so much for sharing your beloved Leroy Brown with us, Stacey, and for the stunning picture of your baby boy. I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Stacey, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Stacey, our forum friends DannysMom and Gretta's Mom have shared with you what is also in my heart, so please read their responses frequently. This grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of our beloved companions, and it is both emotionally and physically painful. Please let me try to add my reassurance to you that what you are feeling is very normal grief - -painful, yes - - yet very normal. The adjustment to our companions' physical absence does not happen overnight, or within a day, a week, a month - - it happens slowly and gradually - - sometimes we think the deep grief will never end - - or it will end with us going insane. I promise you, Stacey, what you are feeling is NORMAL, and one day probably when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Leroy Brown and smiling - - truly smilling - - and then you will feel your beloved Leroy Brown's sweet Living Spirit fill your heart and you will know that everything will be okay again. Why? Because you will know that your beloved Leroy Brown is still with you just as he always has been and always will be - - he is forever a part of you - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.
What you are experiencing, "I see him out of the corner of my eye and feel him jumping on my bed" - - is very normal. It can be quite unsettling, though, but I assure you these are visits from your beloved Leroy Brown letting you know that he is still with you. Hopefully you will begin to find comfort in his visits, for you are in his heart, too. There are times when I still hear my beautiful baby girl's Abbygayle collar rattle - - and it is right here on my night stand next to my bed - - no reason for it to rattle, and sometimes I feel her sweet presence on the bed - - and my precious little Noah is elsewhere in the house. These are comforting for me, and I hope somehow you will find comfort in the times your beloved Leroy Brown stops by - - reaches across the boundary of time and space - - to let you know he is still with you.
I thank you so much for sharing your beloved Leroy Brown with us, Stacey, and for the stunning picture of your baby boy. I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Stacey, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Wow, thank you all for your sweet notes. Has helped more than you know. Last weekend I spent some time cleaning my house and removing the litter box, food, and stuff. Seems his hair is every where, including my computer screen :-). Not easy at all but I'm doing better due to the site and your wonderful notes.
Thank you for wanting to know more about Leroy. I have had many cats growing up and have never experienced the bond I did with Leroy. He was a cat only a mother could love. When he was a kitten, my ex and I went on our honeymoon and the couple that house sat allowed him to eat things other than cat food (which I'm totally against) so he would follow me around just waiting for me to drop something, even lettuce. Crazy what he would eat.
I also would fling hair ties for him to fetch and return to me until he was worn out. I allowed him in my fenced in back yard and he loved the sun and eating grass (always felt the need to puke the grass up in the house, never in the backyard LOL).
He would wake me up about 530 like clockwork by a little bite on an exposed part of my body, arms, legs, the bite never hurt, just his way of waking me up. I miss our naps together. I will miss the snuggling the most.
Last June, on my way to a girls weekend, he did not wake me up and was acting very strange, I took him to the vet and he had a 106 temp, of course, I canceled my flight and stayed with him as they moved him to the ER vet. The stress killed me as much as it did him, he hated the car and the vet. They did every test they could and still didn't figure out what was wrong with him. They gave him fluids and antibiotics and he was home with me that Sunday night. I guess he didn't want me to go on vacation. I wonder if it had to do with his heart/clot, who knows? I have been thinking often about what I would do if I lost him after that scare. Now I know, I cope and I think about him being healthy. Though right now I'm still in shock.
I spent such quality time with him up until last Tues, for that I'm greatful. He was my baby and I'm sure he knew how loved he was. I was given a gift with him in my life. Sorry for the rambling.
Again, thank you all for your kind words, I am so sorry for the losses you have all experienced. DannysMom, your story is heartwrenching but you have become so strong. Gretta's Mom and Moon_Beam, I plan to read your stories too.
Thank you for wanting to know more about Leroy. I have had many cats growing up and have never experienced the bond I did with Leroy. He was a cat only a mother could love. When he was a kitten, my ex and I went on our honeymoon and the couple that house sat allowed him to eat things other than cat food (which I'm totally against) so he would follow me around just waiting for me to drop something, even lettuce. Crazy what he would eat.
I also would fling hair ties for him to fetch and return to me until he was worn out. I allowed him in my fenced in back yard and he loved the sun and eating grass (always felt the need to puke the grass up in the house, never in the backyard LOL).
He would wake me up about 530 like clockwork by a little bite on an exposed part of my body, arms, legs, the bite never hurt, just his way of waking me up. I miss our naps together. I will miss the snuggling the most.
Last June, on my way to a girls weekend, he did not wake me up and was acting very strange, I took him to the vet and he had a 106 temp, of course, I canceled my flight and stayed with him as they moved him to the ER vet. The stress killed me as much as it did him, he hated the car and the vet. They did every test they could and still didn't figure out what was wrong with him. They gave him fluids and antibiotics and he was home with me that Sunday night. I guess he didn't want me to go on vacation. I wonder if it had to do with his heart/clot, who knows? I have been thinking often about what I would do if I lost him after that scare. Now I know, I cope and I think about him being healthy. Though right now I'm still in shock.
I spent such quality time with him up until last Tues, for that I'm greatful. He was my baby and I'm sure he knew how loved he was. I was given a gift with him in my life. Sorry for the rambling.
Again, thank you all for your kind words, I am so sorry for the losses you have all experienced. DannysMom, your story is heartwrenching but you have become so strong. Gretta's Mom and Moon_Beam, I plan to read your stories too.
Hi Stacey
Another coming of that rare being - a spirit animal. One who carries a part of a human soul and whose soul that human carries a part of. Two beings but really only one. That's what people mean why they say they've had several fur-babies but never a love like they had for the special one - and so never a grief like the on when the special one moves back home - to the Perfect World. Oh, Stacey, the shock-and-(not) awe stage lasts a long time - weeks or months. Then sometimes the "robot walk" sets in - just going through the motions of life - yes, maybe not breaking into tears a hundred times a day, but definitely looking through robotic eyes because the inner eyes are trying to take care of a shattered heart. I'ts been almost exactly a year that my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) went back home. She is MY spirit animal. My gried has settled down to about 80% of what it was at first and has stayed there until now. If it never goes away, it's OK. SOmeday you and leroy will be reunited in the Perfect World. I don't believe that - I KNOW that!
Pleas take care of yourself and treasure every moment you and Leroy were together on earth. He was here to teach you something - and it's hard to discover what that lesson was. Don't worry about that now, just take care of your heart.
We're always with you - and every person here "gets it". This is THE best support site out there - all because everybody here cares.
Good day, my friend.
Gretta's mom
Another coming of that rare being - a spirit animal. One who carries a part of a human soul and whose soul that human carries a part of. Two beings but really only one. That's what people mean why they say they've had several fur-babies but never a love like they had for the special one - and so never a grief like the on when the special one moves back home - to the Perfect World. Oh, Stacey, the shock-and-(not) awe stage lasts a long time - weeks or months. Then sometimes the "robot walk" sets in - just going through the motions of life - yes, maybe not breaking into tears a hundred times a day, but definitely looking through robotic eyes because the inner eyes are trying to take care of a shattered heart. I'ts been almost exactly a year that my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) went back home. She is MY spirit animal. My gried has settled down to about 80% of what it was at first and has stayed there until now. If it never goes away, it's OK. SOmeday you and leroy will be reunited in the Perfect World. I don't believe that - I KNOW that!
Pleas take care of yourself and treasure every moment you and Leroy were together on earth. He was here to teach you something - and it's hard to discover what that lesson was. Don't worry about that now, just take care of your heart.
We're always with you - and every person here "gets it". This is THE best support site out there - all because everybody here cares.
Good day, my friend.
Gretta's mom
Thank you Gretta's mom. Today has been rough. Came home from a day business trip last night to an empty house and am now crying at starbucks while I try to work. Leroy was definately a part of my soul and will always be. I thought long and hard about what you all said about him being here with me even though he is in the Perfect World. It now makes sense about the thoughts and feelings I'm having about seeing and hearing him.
Thanks again you all. PS-Grett's mom, that must have been good camera work :-). Leroy is black with a couple tiny white patches but when he was sunning I would see chocolate brown. Still stunningly beautiful.
Leroy Brown, Baddest Cat in the Whole Damn Town LOL.
Thanks again you all. PS-Grett's mom, that must have been good camera work :-). Leroy is black with a couple tiny white patches but when he was sunning I would see chocolate brown. Still stunningly beautiful.
Leroy Brown, Baddest Cat in the Whole Damn Town LOL.
Hi, Stacey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes, the coming home - - the "new reality" not yet a part of your heart. That split second when you walk through the door and call his name and then - - the REALITY hits home right in your heart - - your beloved Leroy Brown is no longer physically with you. It even feels like the house structure itself - - be it a tent, a cave, an apartment, or single dwelling - - is mourning the physical absence. What used to feel like home now feels empty and unliveable. This is part of the deep grief adjustment and is very painful. But please let me try to reassure you, Stacey, that one day your home will feel like home again, - - BECAUSE - - you will know your beloved Leroy Brown's sweet Living Spirit is with you - - wherever you are will be home because your beloved Leroy Brown is forever a part of you wherever you go and whatever you do. He no longer is limited to the physical laws of time and space - - he is no longer confined to the safety of his home or a boarding facility when you go out of town - he no longer has to wait for you to get home to share your day, your travels and adventures. He is sharing all of your experiences now in real time - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.
Stacey, I hope you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Leroy Brown's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Stacey, I hope you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Leroy Brown's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Stacie
How are you doing this morning? Leroy Brown the Baddest Cat in the Whole D**m Town - what a GREAT name! How did it come about? A lot of kitties have very gentle names - this winderful name is BAD eveen for dogs! No wonder you miss him so much. bear with it, Stacey. These spirit animals are our soul's purifying fire - like silver - must be put into the flame and melted, then the junk floats to the top and is skimmed off, leaving pure silver. Sounds a lot like our hearts when our soul-mate goes back home,doesn't it?
Stacey. you are loved. BY Leroy, exactly as before. By all the spirit animals in the universe. By Gretta, Rufus (my present dog) and Moonbeam and me and all of your LS brothers and sisters. Singly, we're weak and our hearts are shattered, together we hold each other up when they're down and rejoice with them when they're glad.
Leroy, thanks for sending those almost-visible signs of your continuing presence ad love for your mom. She sees you and loves you - but then you already know that!
Have the best day possible.
Gretta (and Rufus's) mom
How are you doing this morning? Leroy Brown the Baddest Cat in the Whole D**m Town - what a GREAT name! How did it come about? A lot of kitties have very gentle names - this winderful name is BAD eveen for dogs! No wonder you miss him so much. bear with it, Stacey. These spirit animals are our soul's purifying fire - like silver - must be put into the flame and melted, then the junk floats to the top and is skimmed off, leaving pure silver. Sounds a lot like our hearts when our soul-mate goes back home,doesn't it?
Stacey. you are loved. BY Leroy, exactly as before. By all the spirit animals in the universe. By Gretta, Rufus (my present dog) and Moonbeam and me and all of your LS brothers and sisters. Singly, we're weak and our hearts are shattered, together we hold each other up when they're down and rejoice with them when they're glad.
Leroy, thanks for sending those almost-visible signs of your continuing presence ad love for your mom. She sees you and loves you - but then you already know that!
Have the best day possible.
Gretta (and Rufus's) mom
Hi Stacey
I am very sorry for your loss. This site really is amazing isn't it. Anyone that comes here in their time of grief will at least find a little comfort in knowing there are people out there who understand what we are going through. And this will be a tough journey but you gave your baby 12years of love and care that Leroy would be so thankful for and because of that he also showed you so much love and care as you were his soul mate.
Please take time to look yourself over the next couple of weeks. Keep eating, try and keep occupied with friends or family and when it feels right for you look back at his photos and smile....with tears as well as this just shows the love you have for him.
I hope today is treating you well.
xxForeverxx
I am very sorry for your loss. This site really is amazing isn't it. Anyone that comes here in their time of grief will at least find a little comfort in knowing there are people out there who understand what we are going through. And this will be a tough journey but you gave your baby 12years of love and care that Leroy would be so thankful for and because of that he also showed you so much love and care as you were his soul mate.
Please take time to look yourself over the next couple of weeks. Keep eating, try and keep occupied with friends or family and when it feels right for you look back at his photos and smile....with tears as well as this just shows the love you have for him.
I hope today is treating you well.
xxForeverxx
Hi Stacey
Just stopping by to wish you a Happy Easter. (I know, there's nothing happy about it - you're thinking.) But there is: Leroy is now the baddest cat in the whol D*&m universe! He's up there bragging about what a good mom you are and all his friends are sending you rays of warmth and comfort.
Keep exhaling after you inhale and you'll make it, my friend.
Gretta and Rufus's mom
Just stopping by to wish you a Happy Easter. (I know, there's nothing happy about it - you're thinking.) But there is: Leroy is now the baddest cat in the whol D*&m universe! He's up there bragging about what a good mom you are and all his friends are sending you rays of warmth and comfort.
Keep exhaling after you inhale and you'll make it, my friend.
Gretta and Rufus's mom
QUOTE (Stacey @ Apr 3 2012, 07:09 PM) 
I just want to thank you all for the wonderful stories that have helped me get through the past 7 days. This site is amazing but also heartbreaking.
I lost the love of my life last Tuesday night. After returning home from an all day business trip, I found my 12 year old kitty Leroy Brown on the floor by his litter box, he couldn't use his back legs and clearly struggled to get to either his litter box (such a good boy) or his food. I got him to the ER Vet and he was gone in 30 minutes by my decision, even though there was no other option.
I am struggling because I wasn't home and I know he suffered. I'm not sure how I will get through this, I see him out of the corner of my eye and feel him jumping on my bed. It is agonizing.
Again, I thank you all and send love to all of you who lost your babies. I know a lot of people don't understand the loss of a pet, to them I have many things to say but will keep it clean for the forum sake :-0
I lost the love of my life last Tuesday night. After returning home from an all day business trip, I found my 12 year old kitty Leroy Brown on the floor by his litter box, he couldn't use his back legs and clearly struggled to get to either his litter box (such a good boy) or his food. I got him to the ER Vet and he was gone in 30 minutes by my decision, even though there was no other option.
I am struggling because I wasn't home and I know he suffered. I'm not sure how I will get through this, I see him out of the corner of my eye and feel him jumping on my bed. It is agonizing.
Again, I thank you all and send love to all of you who lost your babies. I know a lot of people don't understand the loss of a pet, to them I have many things to say but will keep it clean for the forum sake :-0
Im sorry for your lost and i know its really hard i lost my bestfriend Casper 3 months ago as of tomorrow and it sucks. Casper was a callico cat and meant the world to me. So i know how u feel as of losing the love of your life cuz i lost mine to. I just hope ur doing ok.
Hi everyone, thank you so much for your kind emails.
I had my 2 week anniversary on Tuesday and I have good and bad days. I have been so comforted by you guys and then my therapist also gave me some really good advice. I hope you all are well and will check in soon (catching a flight).
I had my 2 week anniversary on Tuesday and I have good and bad days. I have been so comforted by you guys and then my therapist also gave me some really good advice. I hope you all are well and will check in soon (catching a flight).
Hi, Stacey, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Each day during the deep grief has an angel-versary, and some may be easier than others to endure. I hope today is treating you kindly, Stacey, Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.