It's 8 days since we lost Curly. It started to get a little easier until we picked up his ashes today. It opened the wounds completely again and the emotion came gushing out. AWFUL . We had a "service" at the dining room table (our little family of 3- hubby, me, and 10 yr old daughter). We shared memories and read letters we wrote to Curly. We played a video of him "dancing" for a treat ;-) and we cried our eyes out.

I wanted to share the picture with you all. People in this group helped me survive those first, worst, horrible days. Today is like day 1 again, but I pray it's a temporary setback. I don't know?

Here's his memorial "shelf" so far. I'm going to add a few framed pics of him, but I'm too depressed yet to go shopping for them.

Thank you for listening & for your ongoing support to get me through this hell.

Peggy

Hello Peggy

Yees, the day you go to pick up your beloved's ashes opens all the wounds. But the truth is, it's so soon after he's left you that there's been no healing. Just "Autopilot." I lost my beautiful Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, last April 11. She was/is the first dog I'd had as an adult. It almost killed me and, like you, if it hadn't been for LS, I don't know what I would've done. You're a lot braver than me - to this day I have not made sucha memory shrine for Gretta. One of my co-workers made a beautiful wooden box with her name on it for her ashes. I managed to order one of the last soft memory pillows that used to be offered on this site until the company went out of business, I have her picture next to me on a shelf, and an unburned yartzeit candle from my sister. I velcro-ed her two snow suits (which she hated) together and made a pillow to sleep on. And (only a true griever will understand this) i slept on her dog bed for a couple of weeks. (It was a very good orthopedic bed - better than my own - but shorter.)

For at least two or three months the feeling is like being constantly shot in the heart. The best you CAn do is autopilot. I don't think the ache ever goes away. It just recedes on "good" days, but on stressful, lonely days, it all comes crashing back. Be consoled that, like people, our soul-animals live on in a Perfect World. In the words of the world's best vet, "She's in a safe place now." They can see us and hear us and lie beside us and watch out for us and love us and receive our love - exactly as they could when WE could see THEM. The only difference is that their hearts don't break when they do. Our soulmate animals still carry a part of our soul with them - that's why we never feel completely OK. Imagine the huge rush of infinite love that will be ours and theirs when we finally DO meet again never to be parted again. And it WILL happen.

Until then, let's all join hands and hearts and love and support each other. Together we're strong - and a huge font of love that WILL overcome!

I hope for a peaceful night for you and your family. Rest assured the Curly is on his job, just like always. All the animals who've gone before him have welcomed them into their pack and we LSers have wrapped you and your family in a blanket of understanding and love.

Be well.

Gretta's mom

Hi, Peggy, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Getting our beloved companion's ashes back is a two-sided coin for sure: on one side is the relief of having them home with us again, even though it's not in the physical form our hearts long for, and on other side of the coin is yet another blatant reality that our companions are no longer with us in the physical form our hearts long for.

Peggy, this grief adjustment journey is filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds. Just when we think we're finally on an even keel we may hear a song or think of a treasured memory and we can feel the sadness fill our hearts again, a mist will come to our eyes and a quiver to our chin, and we find ourselves thinking "I thought I was over this." Peggy, there is no "getting over" the physical absence of a loved one - - whatever the life form. And there is no need to even try BECAUSE they are forever a part of us - - they are forever in our hearts and memories - - they are forever a heartbeat close to us. Your beloved Curly will ALWAYS and FOREVER be a part of you and your family regardless of how much time continues with your earthly journey. Your beloved Curly continues to share your earthly journey wherever you go and whatever you do just as he always has and always will. He may not always be at the forefront of your thoughts during your daily routines, and that's okay. I assure you, though, that he is always with you.

I hope today is treating you and your family kindly, Peggy. You're memorial shelf for your beloved Curly is beautiful. You will know when you are ready to look for frames for his pictures. There is no rush - - take your time. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Peggy, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Peggy. I thought I would feel ether once my baby was back....I kinda was but then the realisation kicks in that our loved ones are definately not coming back now.

That memorial shelf is a beautiful way to remember Curly. I hope I can do the same for my Chewy soon.

I hope the ache eases a little soon as I know Curly loves you very much.

xxForeverxx

Hi Peggy

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

Gretta's mom

Peggy, that is a beautiful memorial shelf. I wish I could find the right words to say to offer some comfort. I know what you are going through. Sometimes it feels like the pain is just too much to bear and you wonder if you'll ever be happy again. It is so hard losing a furry friend, because they give us so much love and bring so much joy into our lives. The happy times we spent with them are forever enshrined within our hearts.