Rocky, my MOST beloved and precious hero, guide, soulmate, master, and my everthing died 8 days ago.i have been tormented with regrets that i didn't bring him home from the vet so that he and i could spend the last few days together at home saying goodbye. Instead when the cancer showed in the xray to have spread throughout his stomach and spleen and the only option i was given was to euthanize i couldn't stand to see rocky struggle another minute so i agreed.
I miss Rocky so badly
I feel so terrified and scared to not have him with me physically because he was not only my precious child he was my soulmate, partner and my everything. I rescued rocky. I won't go into that detail because i know he doesn't want to be remembered for what he was in but for what he blossomed into: a strong, courageous, wise, noble, handsome, gracious, regal, brilliant prince. His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I. It made my whole world to see him doing good and happy and thats what i lived for and to do
I really need help. I feel like I'm not gonna make it
Can someone or people respond to me with kind and healing words
I really need help right now
Hesista
Full Version: Rocky My Precious Hero
QUOTE (hesista @ Feb 24 2012, 07:28 PM) 
Rocky, my MOST beloved and precious hero, guide, soulmate, master, and my everthing died 8 days ago.i have been tormented with regrets that i didn't bring him home from the vet so that he and i could spend the last few days together at home saying goodbye. Instead when the cancer showed in the xray to have spread throughout his stomach and spleen and the only option i was given was to euthanize i couldn't stand to see rocky struggle another minute so i agreed.
I miss Rocky so badly
I feel so terrified and scared to not have him with me physically because he was not only my precious child he was my soulmate, partner and my everything. I rescued rocky. I won't go into that detail because i know he doesn't want to be remembered for what he was in but for what he blossomed into: a strong, courageous, wise, noble, handsome, gracious, regal, brilliant prince. His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I. It made my whole world to see him doing good and happy and thats what i lived for and to do
I really need help. I feel like I'm not gonna make it
Can someone or people respond to me with kind and healing words
I really need help right now
Hesista
I miss Rocky so badly
I feel so terrified and scared to not have him with me physically because he was not only my precious child he was my soulmate, partner and my everything. I rescued rocky. I won't go into that detail because i know he doesn't want to be remembered for what he was in but for what he blossomed into: a strong, courageous, wise, noble, handsome, gracious, regal, brilliant prince. His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I. It made my whole world to see him doing good and happy and thats what i lived for and to do
I really need help. I feel like I'm not gonna make it
Can someone or people respond to me with kind and healing words
I really need help right now
Hesista
Hesista, what you are feeling is very normal. By letting Rocky go and ending his suffering you showed the ultimate act of love that you could. My situation is very similar to yours so I know how you feel. You ARE going to make it. Guilt is a very common and overwhelming emotion that we feel when we have to make such a hard decision in letting our fur babies go. Please dont beat yourself up for doing what you had to do. Rocky knows how much you loved him and even though he is not there with you physically he will ALWAYS be with you in spirit and in your heart. You will see Rocky again someday at the Rainbow Bridge so keep the faith and GOD bless.
Hesista
You came to a great place. Everything you are feeling at this very minute is the same for all of us.
I too made the very difficult decision to lay my baby Diego to rest just one and a half months ago. The veterinarians help to guide us when we are faced with such a horrible decision, they do this everyday, and they also watch pets suffer unnecessarily when they can be released from the pain and suffering. You made the right choice, given the facts and knowing Rocky would be suffering more than he could endure, the vet and you knew it was time, as did Rocky. This was the last gift you could give Rocky here on earth. He is now released from his pain and broken body to run free with all the angels up on the other side of the rainbow bridge. He is smiling and youthful again, waiting til one day far from now you will reunite.
You gave him the best life a dog could want. You were beside him every step of the way, no one could've come close to having the relationship you had. You made his short life absolutely perfect. And I know he has done the same for you. But your job is not done, you need to keep his memory alive and go on as he would want you too. He is still with you in spirit, nothing can break that bond between you two , not even death. He is and always will be in your heart and soul.
I know when it is calm again someday you will feel him around you.
This grieving we have to go through takes many turns, but one day, as unbelievable as it may seem now, you will be able to think of him and smile. For now though, you must take it day by day, moment by moment. Cry, talk, smile, but go easy on yourself. You did the best for him and he knew it, and in the end that is all that matters.
Please read the materials on this site about coping. They really do help. You are not alone, we all know how extremely difficult this is and we want to be here when you need us,please keep us updated and feel free to talk about anything you desire.
You are in my thoughts tonight and I am keeping you in my prayers. God bless you and Rocky
Cheri
You came to a great place. Everything you are feeling at this very minute is the same for all of us.
I too made the very difficult decision to lay my baby Diego to rest just one and a half months ago. The veterinarians help to guide us when we are faced with such a horrible decision, they do this everyday, and they also watch pets suffer unnecessarily when they can be released from the pain and suffering. You made the right choice, given the facts and knowing Rocky would be suffering more than he could endure, the vet and you knew it was time, as did Rocky. This was the last gift you could give Rocky here on earth. He is now released from his pain and broken body to run free with all the angels up on the other side of the rainbow bridge. He is smiling and youthful again, waiting til one day far from now you will reunite.
You gave him the best life a dog could want. You were beside him every step of the way, no one could've come close to having the relationship you had. You made his short life absolutely perfect. And I know he has done the same for you. But your job is not done, you need to keep his memory alive and go on as he would want you too. He is still with you in spirit, nothing can break that bond between you two , not even death. He is and always will be in your heart and soul.
I know when it is calm again someday you will feel him around you.
This grieving we have to go through takes many turns, but one day, as unbelievable as it may seem now, you will be able to think of him and smile. For now though, you must take it day by day, moment by moment. Cry, talk, smile, but go easy on yourself. You did the best for him and he knew it, and in the end that is all that matters.
Please read the materials on this site about coping. They really do help. You are not alone, we all know how extremely difficult this is and we want to be here when you need us,please keep us updated and feel free to talk about anything you desire.
You are in my thoughts tonight and I am keeping you in my prayers. God bless you and Rocky
Cheri
QUOTE (LittleGirl'sMommy @ Feb 25 2012, 03:30 AM)
Oh {{{{{Hesista}}}}} my heart goes out to you during this nightmare you are living through!!! 
I SO agree with Mario that "Guilt is a very common and overwhelming emotion that we feel when we have to make such a hard decision in letting our fur babies go." When you found out about Rocky's condition, you were so very desperate to prevent even 1 more minute of struggling for him that something in you, something very wise I feel, took over and made the right decision - the most compassionate decision for him, yet the most heart-breaking one for yourself. This follows the true definition of love: wanting the best for the other person or animal BECAUSE you love Rocky so much, the "wise" You took over and made a decision that he couldn't make for himself. Had you brought him back home for awhile, you might have felt that you had put him through too much. I really think you did the right thing. Not easy!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly believe that had Rocky been in your shoes, and you had been the one with the cancer that had spread throughout your stomach and spleen, he would have made the same decision that you did.
I believe that Rocky is thanking you for making the decision you did. But now you are alone (in the sense of not having his physical presence there with you) and you don't know how to go on. I know what it is like to have a precious animal as your Soul Mate (my cat Sunny is my Soul Mate). And now the seering pain of a world that changed in an instant, and life feels completely empty - as though you truly can't go on. As though there is no more life, because Rocky's visible self isn't there with you! I'm feeling pain in my chest and tears in my eyes as I write this, because to me it is the most nightmarish pain I can imagine.
If this helps at all, please remember that you WILL see Rocky again (I believe his Spirit really is with you, but it's not the same when you can't look into his eyes and hold him! ). For him, the separation time will seem like an instant. For you, the time ahead seems impossible. But Rocky wants you to be ok and to be able to live with "just" his Spirit there - for now, until it is your time to join him in Spirit.
Knowing he is there, but just not visible, would it help to tell him about any regrets you have? Regrets and guilt are a completely normal part of all grief. But you are feeling them, and maybe it would help to tell him (even though he already knows, and he is saying "Mom, it's ok. You did the right thing!"), or write a letter to him and pour your heart out. An exercise I thought of the other day is to cut out pictures of the pets I have lost (who I still have so much regret and guilt over that I'm stuck in pain), paste them on a page of paper (I'm thinking of doing one pet per page), and cut out a picture of myself and paste that near them. Then draw in some bubbles (don't know what you call them? the ones that appear in, say, newspaper cartoons to show who is talking) - some for the pet and some for me. In my bubbles, I would say all kinds of things that I want to tell them, explain to them, the love I want to express. In theirs, they would tell me the things I know in my heart they feel for me - the forgiveness, the love, the reassurance that I did the right thing, or that if I hadn't done the exact "right" thing, I did what seemed like the right thing at the time. I realize you may not be ready, or even want, to do such a project.
I decided yesterday that after all these years, today was going to be Day One of facing this, of finally beginning the healing I need to do. There is a free " class" that I found the other day online called "Healing Through Grief" and I'm going to do that, plus the project I just described, plus spend time at LS, and some other things I would be glad to share. Maybe we can help each other. I realize that some are going through the acute pain of a recent grief, some like me are stuck in old grief, and some are experiencing both.
Do you have strong support at home or nearby? (I say strong, because when I have lost a furbaby, I know I cannot speak about it to anyone who would not fully understand. When I lost my Little Girl in '04, I pretty much stayed in, kept this website up on my computer, watched movies, and had maybe 3 people I could talk to. Everyone else....... wouldn't have gotten it and would only have made my grief worse. I don't know which options you have, and which ones might help you. For instance, do you have a job you need to go to every day? Could you take some time off if you need it? Do you have a friend who "gets it" who could stay with you, or whose home you could stay at for awhile? Is there an in-person grief support group nearby?
I hope this rather rambling note wasn't too all over the place. I will write more soon. Please keep in touch. I am so glad you found this site and I hope you keep sharing your feelings here. You are among people here who really understand. You WILL get through this, even though right now it seems like an impossible feat. With the right support, you will do it, and we will do it together.
With heartfelt empathy for your pain,
Kathy
I SO agree with Mario that "Guilt is a very common and overwhelming emotion that we feel when we have to make such a hard decision in letting our fur babies go." When you found out about Rocky's condition, you were so very desperate to prevent even 1 more minute of struggling for him that something in you, something very wise I feel, took over and made the right decision - the most compassionate decision for him, yet the most heart-breaking one for yourself. This follows the true definition of love: wanting the best for the other person or animal BECAUSE you love Rocky so much, the "wise" You took over and made a decision that he couldn't make for himself. Had you brought him back home for awhile, you might have felt that you had put him through too much. I really think you did the right thing. Not easy!!!!!!!!!!!!I honestly believe that had Rocky been in your shoes, and you had been the one with the cancer that had spread throughout your stomach and spleen, he would have made the same decision that you did.
I believe that Rocky is thanking you for making the decision you did. But now you are alone (in the sense of not having his physical presence there with you) and you don't know how to go on.
I know what it is like to have a precious animal as your Soul Mate (my cat Sunny is my Soul Mate). And now the seering pain of a world that changed in an instant, and life feels completely empty - as though you truly can't go on. As though there is no more life, because Rocky's visible self isn't there with you! I'm feeling pain in my chest and tears in my eyes as I write this, because to me it is the most nightmarish pain I can imagine. If this helps at all, please remember that you WILL see Rocky again (I believe his Spirit really is with you, but it's not the same when you can't look into his eyes and hold him!
). For him, the separation time will seem like an instant. For you, the time ahead seems impossible. But Rocky wants you to be ok and to be able to live with "just" his Spirit there - for now, until it is your time to join him in Spirit. Knowing he is there, but just not visible, would it help to tell him about any regrets you have? Regrets and guilt are a completely normal part of all grief. But you are feeling them, and maybe it would help to tell him (even though he already knows, and he is saying "Mom, it's ok. You did the right thing!"), or write a letter to him and pour your heart out. An exercise I thought of the other day is to cut out pictures of the pets I have lost (who I still have so much regret and guilt over that I'm stuck in pain), paste them on a page of paper (I'm thinking of doing one pet per page), and cut out a picture of myself and paste that near them. Then draw in some bubbles (don't know what you call them? the ones that appear in, say, newspaper cartoons to show who is talking) - some for the pet and some for me. In my bubbles, I would say all kinds of things that I want to tell them, explain to them, the love I want to express. In theirs, they would tell me the things I know in my heart they feel for me - the forgiveness, the love, the reassurance that I did the right thing, or that if I hadn't done the exact "right" thing, I did what seemed like the right thing at the time. I realize you may not be ready, or even want, to do such a project.
I decided yesterday that after all these years, today was going to be Day One of facing this, of finally beginning the healing I need to do. There is a free " class" that I found the other day online called "Healing Through Grief" and I'm going to do that, plus the project I just described, plus spend time at LS, and some other things I would be glad to share. Maybe we can help each other. I realize that some are going through the acute pain of a recent grief, some like me are stuck in old grief, and some are experiencing both.
Do you have strong support at home or nearby? (I say strong, because when I have lost a furbaby, I know I cannot speak about it to anyone who would not fully understand. When I lost my Little Girl in '04, I pretty much stayed in, kept this website up on my computer, watched movies, and had maybe 3 people I could talk to. Everyone else....... wouldn't have gotten it and would only have made my grief worse. I don't know which options you have, and which ones might help you. For instance, do you have a job you need to go to every day? Could you take some time off if you need it? Do you have a friend who "gets it" who could stay with you, or whose home you could stay at for awhile? Is there an in-person grief support group nearby?
I hope this rather rambling note wasn't too all over the place. I will write more soon. Please keep in touch. I am so glad you found this site and I hope you keep sharing your feelings here. You are among people here who really understand. You WILL get through this, even though right now it seems like an impossible feat. With the right support, you will do it, and we will do it together.
With heartfelt empathy for your pain,
Kathy
Thank you Mario, Cheri and Kathy. Your compassion and caring to reach out to me is a lifeline for me when i feel i going down. Thank you all for your letters. Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers
Kathy thank you so for your empathy. The way you helped me understand what truly happened helped me more than you will ever know because deep inside i know that's true. Rocky had the most beautiiful big brown eyes in the whole world. It terrified me to think of ever living without seeing those gorgeous eyes every morning when i first woke up. I loved stroking his face, head and ears and tell him he was my hero. I hugged him every chance i got and told him how loved he is
I have no one close who understands. Yesterday, i got desperate and called someone and he just ended up talking politics and started yelling at me and got very mean and rude because i don't agree with him. That made my grieving so much worse because i feel so FRAGILE AND VULNERABLE AND I FEEL I COULD EASILY BREAK. So his meanness and yelling broke whatever little i was holding onto i was devastated and shattered me inside even worse. Then i called another friend and she curtly said "I'm busy, goodbye"i felt so rejected yesterday in my attemps to get a little support, it was not a good day
So all your letters were a healing balm.
i too cannot interface with this world anymore. I can't stand to go out, talk to anyone, i can't even stand to go for a short walk or even look at anyone. I just hide from the world. Unfortunately i have to go out to buy food and daily survival necessities and i come back from town completely shook up because i just can not endure the way people act towards me, i just feel too fragile
Kathy i do completely understand what you are experiencing, its too painful for me to describe hoever i have and am experiencing all that you are. Yes lets help each other. I may not be in a good place right now to offer much to you because i feel so terrified without my Rocky but if we could hold each others hand through this it would help me greatly and i really hope it will help you too
Sleeping and staying asleep is really hard so i spend most of the night on th is website... it gives me a little peace for the moment. Waking up from sleeping is the worst because the first thing i realize as i awake is that my Rocky has died and is not in theroom with me. That's got to be the worst time
This is really the hardest thing to go through this side of eternity.
Everyone please keep dialoguing with me, it will be the lifesaving lifeline to get me through to the next moment
Very very grateful to all of you.
Hesista
Kathy thank you so for your empathy. The way you helped me understand what truly happened helped me more than you will ever know because deep inside i know that's true. Rocky had the most beautiiful big brown eyes in the whole world. It terrified me to think of ever living without seeing those gorgeous eyes every morning when i first woke up. I loved stroking his face, head and ears and tell him he was my hero. I hugged him every chance i got and told him how loved he is
I have no one close who understands. Yesterday, i got desperate and called someone and he just ended up talking politics and started yelling at me and got very mean and rude because i don't agree with him. That made my grieving so much worse because i feel so FRAGILE AND VULNERABLE AND I FEEL I COULD EASILY BREAK. So his meanness and yelling broke whatever little i was holding onto i was devastated and shattered me inside even worse. Then i called another friend and she curtly said "I'm busy, goodbye"i felt so rejected yesterday in my attemps to get a little support, it was not a good day
So all your letters were a healing balm.
i too cannot interface with this world anymore. I can't stand to go out, talk to anyone, i can't even stand to go for a short walk or even look at anyone. I just hide from the world. Unfortunately i have to go out to buy food and daily survival necessities and i come back from town completely shook up because i just can not endure the way people act towards me, i just feel too fragile
Kathy i do completely understand what you are experiencing, its too painful for me to describe hoever i have and am experiencing all that you are. Yes lets help each other. I may not be in a good place right now to offer much to you because i feel so terrified without my Rocky but if we could hold each others hand through this it would help me greatly and i really hope it will help you too
Sleeping and staying asleep is really hard so i spend most of the night on th is website... it gives me a little peace for the moment. Waking up from sleeping is the worst because the first thing i realize as i awake is that my Rocky has died and is not in theroom with me. That's got to be the worst time
This is really the hardest thing to go through this side of eternity.
Everyone please keep dialoguing with me, it will be the lifesaving lifeline to get me through to the next moment
Very very grateful to all of you.
Hesista
And Cheri thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayerrs last night. It means the world to me
Hesista
Hesista
Hi, hesista, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Rocky. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthansasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions on this side of eternity - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Our wonderful correspondents Mario, Cheri, and Kathy, have shared with you what is in my heart, so please read their responses frequently. This grief journey is filled with so many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. As has already been shared, unfortunately guilt is one of the emotions that is part of the grief journey, and it is one of the emotions that is the hardest to reconcile. Our beloved companions know we are mere mortals. We do not possess the privilege of foreknowlege. We do not have x-ray eyes that can scan their bones and organs to make sure that there is no illness lurking in their physical bodies so that we can attempt prompt medical intervention at the first sight of problems. The decisions we make are based on the information that we have at any given moment in time, and if it helps - - I want to add my deepest and sincerest support that you made the absolute best decision for your beloved Rocky by releasing him from his very ill, painful, physical body when you did. There is no greater love than putting the needs of another living being before our heart's deepest wants and desires - - which are to always keep them with us. The good news is that even though we are temporarily physically separated from our loved ones, we always have their sweet Living Spirit with us in our hearts and memories. The love bond we share with our companions is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Rocky is forever with you, hesista - - he is forever a part of you - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.
This grief journey is one of adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Rocky, and it is a very painful journey both emotionally and physically that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss that is in your heart, but nonetheless I hope and pray that somehow you will find some level of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in the words I share with you.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, hesista. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of him - - but only when / if you want to. I hope today is being kind to you, and please remember that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through. We are here for you for as long as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Our wonderful correspondents Mario, Cheri, and Kathy, have shared with you what is in my heart, so please read their responses frequently. This grief journey is filled with so many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. As has already been shared, unfortunately guilt is one of the emotions that is part of the grief journey, and it is one of the emotions that is the hardest to reconcile. Our beloved companions know we are mere mortals. We do not possess the privilege of foreknowlege. We do not have x-ray eyes that can scan their bones and organs to make sure that there is no illness lurking in their physical bodies so that we can attempt prompt medical intervention at the first sight of problems. The decisions we make are based on the information that we have at any given moment in time, and if it helps - - I want to add my deepest and sincerest support that you made the absolute best decision for your beloved Rocky by releasing him from his very ill, painful, physical body when you did. There is no greater love than putting the needs of another living being before our heart's deepest wants and desires - - which are to always keep them with us. The good news is that even though we are temporarily physically separated from our loved ones, we always have their sweet Living Spirit with us in our hearts and memories. The love bond we share with our companions is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Rocky is forever with you, hesista - - he is forever a part of you - - he is forever a heartbeat close to you.
This grief journey is one of adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Rocky, and it is a very painful journey both emotionally and physically that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss that is in your heart, but nonetheless I hope and pray that somehow you will find some level of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in the words I share with you.
Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, hesista. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture(s) of him - - but only when / if you want to. I hope today is being kind to you, and please remember that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through. We are here for you for as long as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you Moonbeam so much for your words. I have cried reading everybody's letters to me. Today is especially hard. I'm going to sit and just focus on taking a few deep breaths. It seems that might be all i can do, i really feel tired today, just worn out, i stayed up most of the night again reading this website. Its the only thing i have to get me through to the next moment
Thank you Mario, Cheri, Kathy and Moonbeam and everybody for being here, it means so much to me.
Hesista
Thank you Mario, Cheri, Kathy and Moonbeam and everybody for being here, it means so much to me.
Hesista
Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some reassurance that what you are going through is very normal. How very well I know the gut-wrenching sobbing - - uncontrollable most of the time during the very deep grief. Grieving takes a lot of energy, and the stress of grieving takes a toll on our physical bodies. So the tiredness, the lack of concentration, the apprehension that requires us to take deep breaths. It is very important that you take extra special care of yourself now. If you cannot eat, which is another symptom of stress during this deep grief, it is important that you drink plenty of fluids so that you do not become dehydrated. It is also important that you try to keep the stress levels as low as possible. Unless it is a life dependent decision, it is best not to make any major decisions or changes until you're better able to concentrate on what needs to be done. Right now you are in what I call the "automatic pilot" stage - - things get done, bills get paid, jobs get done, errands get done, etc., but only because these are part of an established routine. Just be kind to yourself.
I thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, hesista. I do hope that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, hesista. I do hope that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hesista, We will not let you go down! We will be your lifeline.
I cried reading Moonbeam's (and everyone's) posts, especially the line: . The love bond we share with our companions is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space I think I got so "stuck" in the pain aspect of grief that I have almost forgotten this - although I know in my heart that it is true !!!
Please do let us know how you are doing with eating... (and don't feel guilty if/when you can eat!!! When you feel any sort of appetite, it is Rocky's way of reminding you that you need to go on. You are meant to go on. He is there with you! Just not with his recognizable beautiful physical presence. You are still a Spirit in a physical body, and Moonbeam's words of wisdom on caring for that body are so important. Do the best you can. If the roles were reversed and Rocky was the one still in physical form, you'd be cheering him on for every caring thing he did for himself. He's doing the same for you.
I am absolutely OUTRAGED about the 2 people you called for support !!!!!!! They were cruel cruel CRUEL. Someone with a compassionate, feeling heart like you deserves to have compassionate, feeling people as friends.
i come back from town completely shook up because i just can not endure the way people act towards me, i just feel too fragile You sound so much like me. I'm sensitive and compassionate, and I don't seem to belong in this world. But we're here for some reason (and I suppose the biggest reason may be to provide love to animals who need us). I can't stand the cruel-hearted world and find so much solace in discovering others, like you, with a real heart. 
Sleeping and waking up! Oh I know! Is there something you can take to help you sleep? I needed to take something. And waking up to the LS site is the best idea I can think of !
More soon. You're in my prayers.
Hugs and Rocky Love,
Kathy
I cried reading Moonbeam's (and everyone's) posts, especially the line: . The love bond we share with our companions is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space I think I got so "stuck" in the pain aspect of grief that I have almost forgotten this - although I know in my heart that it is true !!!
Please do let us know how you are doing with eating... (and don't feel guilty if/when you can eat!!! When you feel any sort of appetite, it is Rocky's way of reminding you that you need to go on. You are meant to go on. He is there with you! Just not with his recognizable beautiful physical presence. You are still a Spirit in a physical body, and Moonbeam's words of wisdom on caring for that body are so important. Do the best you can. If the roles were reversed and Rocky was the one still in physical form, you'd be cheering him on for every caring thing he did for himself. He's doing the same for you.
I am absolutely OUTRAGED about the 2 people you called for support !!!!!!! They were cruel cruel CRUEL. Someone with a compassionate, feeling heart like you deserves to have compassionate, feeling people as friends.
i come back from town completely shook up because i just can not endure the way people act towards me, i just feel too fragile You sound so much like me.
I'm sensitive and compassionate, and I don't seem to belong in this world. But we're here for some reason (and I suppose the biggest reason may be to provide love to animals who need us). I can't stand the cruel-hearted world and find so much solace in discovering others, like you, with a real heart. Sleeping and waking up! Oh I know! Is there something you can take to help you sleep? I needed to take something. And waking up to the LS site is the best idea I can think of !
More soon. You're in my prayers.
Hugs and Rocky Love,
Kathy
Dear Hesista
I'll be honored to be part of your lifeline. I lost my beautiful Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, last April 11. She crashed in one day. At 8 Am she could walk and we went around our usual block to do our business and catch up on the doggies news. By noon, all she could do was stand. It was a Saturday and luckily we have an excellent vet school open 24/7 at the U of MN so i took her there. After the exam, etc. I was too afraid to take her home - on what would be her last night on earth. Although I know it was the right decision and I know she's long since forgiven me, I'll feel guilty about that as long as I live ... until I see her again on the other side.
Whatever anyone else believes, I KNOW our animals, like people, live on after they leave the earth. And that they can see and hear and love us just exactly the same as they did when we could see and hear them, too. Once (maybe twice, I don't know) in a lifetime, one's soul mate animal finds you. The being who holds half of your soul and whose sould you hold half of. These incredible beings search the universe over until they find us - imagine that - and put themselves into our paths so we will find them. And when we do meet, it's an instant rush of infinite love. We look into each other's eyes and KNOW. While we're together on this earth, it's heaven. For some reason, Whoever made this universe decided to make their lifetimes so much shorter than ours. And when they leave this side and go back to the Perfect World - where they came from - it's like we're going to die of sadness.
But our spirit animal IS here with us - we just can't see him or her. But they can see us and they continue to watch over us and protect us and love us and feel our love - exactly the same as when they were on this side. Once in a while we get glimpses of them or hear tiny, quick sosunds from them to let us know they're still here.
These spirit animals KNOW our hearts and minds. They KNOW we do and did the absolute best and then some for them. As someone above has already said, they're already saying "Mom, please don't feel so sad. You did the right thing for me. I understand now and I understood then. We spirit animals can understand things SO much better than humans. Good thing, too.
It's OK to hide, to be on "autopilot" as Moonbeam says. After a while the pain isn't so much like being constantly shot in the heart. It's just a certain sadness that never goes away. And in troubled times, we again cry for them. I think we hurt in proportion as we loved. And we each carry around an "other-shaped" hole in our hearts, which will be wondrously filled when we meet again. And we WILL meet again. And, know what? We'll both speak the same language then - the language of absolute happiness.
We're here for you, Hesista. Anytime. 24/7. We NEVER EVER think, get over it or it's just a dog/cat/bunny. No. It's our other half and we have every reason to grieve.
You'll live, Hesista, with the help of your LS friends.
Peace and blessings,
Gretta's mom
I'll be honored to be part of your lifeline. I lost my beautiful Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, last April 11. She crashed in one day. At 8 Am she could walk and we went around our usual block to do our business and catch up on the doggies news. By noon, all she could do was stand. It was a Saturday and luckily we have an excellent vet school open 24/7 at the U of MN so i took her there. After the exam, etc. I was too afraid to take her home - on what would be her last night on earth. Although I know it was the right decision and I know she's long since forgiven me, I'll feel guilty about that as long as I live ... until I see her again on the other side.
Whatever anyone else believes, I KNOW our animals, like people, live on after they leave the earth. And that they can see and hear and love us just exactly the same as they did when we could see and hear them, too. Once (maybe twice, I don't know) in a lifetime, one's soul mate animal finds you. The being who holds half of your soul and whose sould you hold half of. These incredible beings search the universe over until they find us - imagine that - and put themselves into our paths so we will find them. And when we do meet, it's an instant rush of infinite love. We look into each other's eyes and KNOW. While we're together on this earth, it's heaven. For some reason, Whoever made this universe decided to make their lifetimes so much shorter than ours. And when they leave this side and go back to the Perfect World - where they came from - it's like we're going to die of sadness.
But our spirit animal IS here with us - we just can't see him or her. But they can see us and they continue to watch over us and protect us and love us and feel our love - exactly the same as when they were on this side. Once in a while we get glimpses of them or hear tiny, quick sosunds from them to let us know they're still here.
These spirit animals KNOW our hearts and minds. They KNOW we do and did the absolute best and then some for them. As someone above has already said, they're already saying "Mom, please don't feel so sad. You did the right thing for me. I understand now and I understood then. We spirit animals can understand things SO much better than humans. Good thing, too.
It's OK to hide, to be on "autopilot" as Moonbeam says. After a while the pain isn't so much like being constantly shot in the heart. It's just a certain sadness that never goes away. And in troubled times, we again cry for them. I think we hurt in proportion as we loved. And we each carry around an "other-shaped" hole in our hearts, which will be wondrously filled when we meet again. And we WILL meet again. And, know what? We'll both speak the same language then - the language of absolute happiness.
We're here for you, Hesista. Anytime. 24/7. We NEVER EVER think, get over it or it's just a dog/cat/bunny. No. It's our other half and we have every reason to grieve.
You'll live, Hesista, with the help of your LS friends.
Peace and blessings,
Gretta's mom
Hi Hesista
I just wanted to check in to see how you are holding up. I know you've been reading this site today. We are all here wanting to lift you up above all this pain, but we know all we can do is be here for you and let you know we will see you through this journey, every step of the way. So, remember that window god leaves open whenever he closes a door?
You found it here with us, we all are opening it together and where ever it leads Im sure Rocky has something to do with
it!
Please take care of you and i will keep you in my prayers.
Cheri
I just wanted to check in to see how you are holding up. I know you've been reading this site today. We are all here wanting to lift you up above all this pain, but we know all we can do is be here for you and let you know we will see you through this journey, every step of the way. So, remember that window god leaves open whenever he closes a door?
You found it here with us, we all are opening it together and where ever it leads Im sure Rocky has something to do with
it!
Please take care of you and i will keep you in my prayers.
Cheri
Hi Hesista,
I just wanted to offer my sincerest condolences over the loss of your beloved Rocky. Like you, I lost my beloved Percy a few days ago. I have found this site a godsend because there are so many other who can understand how we are feeling. I do believe with all of my heart that Rocky is still around you in spirit and that he is waiting patiently for you at the Bridge. Even though he is physically away from you, he still loves you and would like for you to carry on. I can also understand how you have lost your appetite and your wanting to be alone. That was true for me, too, but I think that your Rocky would like for you to take care of yourself--he doesn't want to see you hurt. With that, please take care of yourself and keep an open eye and heart for little signs from your furbaby. Since Percy's passing, I've seen so many signs that he is still around. Love transcends all dimensions.
I just wanted to offer my sincerest condolences over the loss of your beloved Rocky. Like you, I lost my beloved Percy a few days ago. I have found this site a godsend because there are so many other who can understand how we are feeling. I do believe with all of my heart that Rocky is still around you in spirit and that he is waiting patiently for you at the Bridge. Even though he is physically away from you, he still loves you and would like for you to carry on. I can also understand how you have lost your appetite and your wanting to be alone. That was true for me, too, but I think that your Rocky would like for you to take care of yourself--he doesn't want to see you hurt. With that, please take care of yourself and keep an open eye and heart for little signs from your furbaby. Since Percy's passing, I've seen so many signs that he is still around. Love transcends all dimensions.
Thank you so much Gracelysprocket percy's mom, Gretta's Mom, Kathy, Cheri, and Moonbeam for everything you say. You each offer healing truths in your own way and it all sooths and touches me so much and means so much to me i cannot tell you how much. This is the greatest kindness i have experienced in my life. Its so kind of you Percys mom to take time from your grieving to reach out to lift me up when your baby died so recently, a few days ago. I understand and feel everything you do.
I forgot to tell everyone that my beautiful Rocky was a light tan dog, lab/rhodesian ridgeback mix. He was regal and princely.
Thank you all for reminding me over and over that He is still with me. That always helps me get to the next moment where i can take a breath and feel him, and then i plummet into grief again missing his wonderful physical presence. That's why it means so much everytime you all say "Rocky is still with you".
Yesterday was so hard, i took some different kinds of herbal sedatives early in the day to zonk me out because i was just so tired and wanted to escape the day. And i woke up dreadfully missing my Rocky so i went onto this website and i read your letters and what they meant to me!
Yes Kathy, i too know and have known all my life that i don't belong in this human world. The way I see and experience the way most people think and act horrifies me and i can't believe it. To me All life is sacred, precious and Beloved. And it too gives me solace that there are people like you, like all of us that really get that in the depths of our souls..
Everyone's words kept me from going under this morning and yes, i too have felt that Rocky brought me to this site to be here with all of you, to hold and comfort each other because i don't know how else I'm going to make it. Please keep dialoguing with me, its my only lifeline
Thank you thank you thank you
Hesista
I forgot to tell everyone that my beautiful Rocky was a light tan dog, lab/rhodesian ridgeback mix. He was regal and princely.
Thank you all for reminding me over and over that He is still with me. That always helps me get to the next moment where i can take a breath and feel him, and then i plummet into grief again missing his wonderful physical presence. That's why it means so much everytime you all say "Rocky is still with you".
Yesterday was so hard, i took some different kinds of herbal sedatives early in the day to zonk me out because i was just so tired and wanted to escape the day. And i woke up dreadfully missing my Rocky so i went onto this website and i read your letters and what they meant to me!
Yes Kathy, i too know and have known all my life that i don't belong in this human world. The way I see and experience the way most people think and act horrifies me and i can't believe it. To me All life is sacred, precious and Beloved. And it too gives me solace that there are people like you, like all of us that really get that in the depths of our souls..
Everyone's words kept me from going under this morning and yes, i too have felt that Rocky brought me to this site to be here with all of you, to hold and comfort each other because i don't know how else I'm going to make it. Please keep dialoguing with me, its my only lifeline
Thank you thank you thank you
Hesista
Good morning Hesista
Here's a day's worth of love and support for you from me, all the people here in your lightning strike family AND ALL (ALL) the fur babies in the perfect World - who ruch to the aid of people and each other who are iin trouble (so unlike people on earth, eh?)
Keep on exhaling after you inhale and when you inhale, know that Rocky is right there with you exhaling the breath you inhale and inhaling the breath you exhale. I know it SO doesn't seem like it, but it's true.
I'll check in with you later.
XOXOXO Gretta's mom
Here's a day's worth of love and support for you from me, all the people here in your lightning strike family AND ALL (ALL) the fur babies in the perfect World - who ruch to the aid of people and each other who are iin trouble (so unlike people on earth, eh?)
Keep on exhaling after you inhale and when you inhale, know that Rocky is right there with you exhaling the breath you inhale and inhaling the breath you exhale. I know it SO doesn't seem like it, but it's true.
I'll check in with you later.
XOXOXO Gretta's mom
Hi, hesista, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Your beloved Rocky is a regal and handsome prince with his lineage of Lab / Ridgeback.
I think part of the struggle that we deal with in our grief journey is training our minds to continue thinking of them in the present tense: "is" instead of "was". Their sweet Living Spirit continues to be with us, and their Spirit is ALIVE. So, therefore, they continue to be an ever-present part of us - - just differently.
I, too, am the "black sheep" of my family when it comes to my beliefs of God's non-human creatures. When I share time with my human family members someone always finds a way to "put me in my place" about my beliefs. I, too, have always felt "estranged" from the human population. The only place I truly feel I can share what is in my heart is here among my friends who truly do understand the incredibly wonderful and beautiful gift God gives to us in our precious and beloved companions. So, hesista, please know YOU are the blessed one - - YOU are the privileged one. It is the people we meet in our lives - - who sometimes share our iives - - and criticize us for our beliefs who are sadly confused.
Hesista, once again please let me add my reassurance along with our wonderful correspondents that you are never alone in your grief adjustment journey. I so do understand how unbearably painful it is to wake up to the new reality that your beloved Rocky is no longer physically present with you. I so do understand the seering stabbing pain that is in your heart, and how incredibly difficult it is to breathe. It is so important that you allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve for your beloved Rocky - - as you feel appropriate. The tears you cry are literally healing tears. They literally wash away the toxins that build up in your body from the stress of grief. And this is why during our deepest painful grief our tears are so uncontrollable - - because we are literally consumed with the deepest sorrow we will know on this side of eternity, and our bodies are trying to literally wash away the pain. I promise you, hesista, that someday probably when you least expect it you will begin to feel stronger again. You will find yourself thinking of your beloved Rocky and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and you will feel your heart fill with the warmth of your many treasured memories - - wrapped in the eternal love of your beloved Rocky.
But this is just going to take time, hesista, one day at a time, one moment at a time. Each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I think part of the struggle that we deal with in our grief journey is training our minds to continue thinking of them in the present tense: "is" instead of "was". Their sweet Living Spirit continues to be with us, and their Spirit is ALIVE. So, therefore, they continue to be an ever-present part of us - - just differently.
I, too, am the "black sheep" of my family when it comes to my beliefs of God's non-human creatures. When I share time with my human family members someone always finds a way to "put me in my place" about my beliefs. I, too, have always felt "estranged" from the human population. The only place I truly feel I can share what is in my heart is here among my friends who truly do understand the incredibly wonderful and beautiful gift God gives to us in our precious and beloved companions. So, hesista, please know YOU are the blessed one - - YOU are the privileged one. It is the people we meet in our lives - - who sometimes share our iives - - and criticize us for our beliefs who are sadly confused.
Hesista, once again please let me add my reassurance along with our wonderful correspondents that you are never alone in your grief adjustment journey. I so do understand how unbearably painful it is to wake up to the new reality that your beloved Rocky is no longer physically present with you. I so do understand the seering stabbing pain that is in your heart, and how incredibly difficult it is to breathe. It is so important that you allow yourself the opportunity to openly grieve for your beloved Rocky - - as you feel appropriate. The tears you cry are literally healing tears. They literally wash away the toxins that build up in your body from the stress of grief. And this is why during our deepest painful grief our tears are so uncontrollable - - because we are literally consumed with the deepest sorrow we will know on this side of eternity, and our bodies are trying to literally wash away the pain. I promise you, hesista, that someday probably when you least expect it you will begin to feel stronger again. You will find yourself thinking of your beloved Rocky and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and you will feel your heart fill with the warmth of your many treasured memories - - wrapped in the eternal love of your beloved Rocky.
But this is just going to take time, hesista, one day at a time, one moment at a time. Each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hesista, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Hesista, Here we are together facing the day, not sure how it will play out. I hope today you will have one moment that is pain free, just a glimpse into how the future can be. Right now it feels as if nothing can ease the terrible pain in your heart, and although it will always ache for your baby Rocky, you will get to the other side of it, I promise. But for today, you only need to take care of yourself, for Rocky would wish it so. You have so much love left inside to give, maybe even a chance to share your courage and strength with another on this site who is also facing this daunting struggle to keep above water. We all struggle, we all second guess ourselves, but when we lean on each other our united stenghth can get us through anything. Nothing is more powerful than love and we have enough to go around, we'll see it through together.
Cheri
Cheri
Dear (((((((Hesista)))))))
I received your PM yesterday and sent you a PM last evening. I'm not sure if you received it or not, so I'll post it here for you.
Sending you many healing prayers today.
Peace & Love,
Denise
**************************
Dear (((((((Hesista)))))))
I'm so very sorry to hear about your precious & beloved boy, Rocky Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this extremely difficult time.
I checked your post on the forum and see that you have received some wonderful & helpful replies from Mario8, Cheri, Kathy & Moon_Beam.
I want you to know that I can truly feel your pain and heartbreak Losing someone you love soooooo much, like your beautiful Rocky, is horribly painful. In fact, in my experience, losing a furbaby is the worst pain of all.
Because you LOVED your Rocky so very, very much and because his needs came before yours, it was with that deep love in your heart that you made the decision that you did. And, as difficult as it was, I believe in my heart that you made the right decision for Rocky.
Being able to relieve their suffering is truly the last gift of love that we can give them.
You loved your Rocky so much that you gave him "the gift of peace".
When I first came here to LS a long time ago, after having our precious little furkid put to sleep, a caring member said to me, "Denise, you took on Ernie-Bird's pain so that she could finally be without pain". What she said made sense to me.
You stated in your post last night,
That sounds exactly like how I felt. When my little man was happy, then all was right with the world.
Just 30 days ago, on January 25th, we made the decision to have our beloved & handsome furcat put to sleep. Like you, I miss my precious man more than words can say.
Hesista, I know that your beautiful Rocky is right inside your heart at this very minute. He will ALWAYS BE WITH YOU. Please, don't ever forget that. And, Rocky will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
You will find a lot of love & caring here at Lightning-Strike. Please write whenever you feel like it. Some replies don't come right away, but they will. This website is for people all over the world, and we're all in different time zones.
I will close for now. Much love, comfort & peace to you, my friend.
Denise
I received your PM yesterday and sent you a PM last evening. I'm not sure if you received it or not, so I'll post it here for you.
Sending you many healing prayers today.
Peace & Love,
Denise
**************************
Dear (((((((Hesista)))))))
I'm so very sorry to hear about your precious & beloved boy, Rocky
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this extremely difficult time.I checked your post on the forum and see that you have received some wonderful & helpful replies from Mario8, Cheri, Kathy & Moon_Beam.
I want you to know that I can truly feel your pain and heartbreak
Losing someone you love soooooo much, like your beautiful Rocky, is horribly painful. In fact, in my experience, losing a furbaby is the worst pain of all.QUOTE
i have been tormented with regrets that i didn't bring him home from the vet so that he and i could spend the last few days together at home saying goodbye. Instead when the cancer showed in the xray to have spread throughout his stomach and spleen and the only option i was given was to euthanize i couldn't stand to see rocky struggle another minute so i agreed.
Because you LOVED your Rocky so very, very much and because his needs came before yours, it was with that deep love in your heart that you made the decision that you did. And, as difficult as it was, I believe in my heart that you made the right decision for Rocky.
Being able to relieve their suffering is truly the last gift of love that we can give them.
You loved your Rocky so much that you gave him "the gift of peace".
When I first came here to LS a long time ago, after having our precious little furkid put to sleep, a caring member said to me, "Denise, you took on Ernie-Bird's pain so that she could finally be without pain". What she said made sense to me.
You stated in your post last night,
QUOTE
His happiness was my happiness, when rocky was feeling good so then was I
That sounds exactly like how I felt. When my little man was happy, then all was right with the world.
Just 30 days ago, on January 25th, we made the decision to have our beloved & handsome furcat put to sleep. Like you, I miss my precious man more than words can say.
Hesista, I know that your beautiful Rocky is right inside your heart at this very minute. He will ALWAYS BE WITH YOU. Please, don't ever forget that. And, Rocky will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
You will find a lot of love & caring here at Lightning-Strike. Please write whenever you feel like it. Some replies don't come right away, but they will. This website is for people all over the world, and we're all in different time zones.
I will close for now. Much love, comfort & peace to you, my friend.
Denise
Dear hesista.....I can't add much to what all these wonderful ladies have said, but I want you to know I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Rocky. This grief journey is very hard, but we are all here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can feel better soon and remember your sweet Rocky with smiles.....God Bless....((((HUGS))))
LoveMyMickey
LoveMyMickey
Thank you so much Denise, LoveMy Mickey, Gretta's Mom, Cheri and Moonbeam! I cry and cry reading all your letters. Again it was your letters that have gotten from one minute to the next and helped me get through this day. I ask you to please forgive me at this time if i'm not in a place to write you all the beautiful letters of comfort that you write me because this grieving is so painful for me and most of the time just putting one foot in front of the other is too much to handle and most of the time simple thought processes are again daunting. In time i would be so honored and grateful to reciprocate all the healing and kindness you give me, i may need time though, a lot of time to get to that place
I want to tell you ALL that Your words, thoughts, prayers, kindness and caring are the most healing balm to this pain, a pain i can't even describe properly
Please keep dialoguing with me, it keeps me remembering to breathe
So grateful.
Hesista
I want to tell you ALL that Your words, thoughts, prayers, kindness and caring are the most healing balm to this pain, a pain i can't even describe properly
Please keep dialoguing with me, it keeps me remembering to breathe
So grateful.
Hesista
Hi Hesista,
Just checking in with you. I was catching up on what the others wrote. Beautiful, healing, lifesaving truths and advice!!
I loved what someone (I think it was Moonbeam) said about the time and space thing - where the limits of time and space don't apply to Rocky anymore. He's with you, he's with those who have left their physical bodies before, he's free of the limits of the body. And, he's in total bliss.
Have you had pets who have gone before him? He's with them now, too !
What does your self-care look like today? What are the most helpful things you can think of ? Does reading (like a book you can temporarily get lost in) help? Watching movies? I think one thing I did was even "schedule" how I was going to get through each hour. Of course this site was the most helpful of everything to me, and it's mostly what saved me. Have you been able to mostly stay away from people don't understand?
Sending prayers that when you wake up today, the first thing you will remember is that Rocky truly is there with you. It's really him (just not in his beautiful regal body. But he's still Rocky).
Sending a hug of comfort too,
Kathy
Just checking in with you. I was catching up on what the others wrote. Beautiful, healing, lifesaving truths and advice!!
I loved what someone (I think it was Moonbeam) said about the time and space thing - where the limits of time and space don't apply to Rocky anymore. He's with you, he's with those who have left their physical bodies before, he's free of the limits of the body. And, he's in total bliss.
Have you had pets who have gone before him? He's with them now, too !
What does your self-care look like today? What are the most helpful things you can think of ? Does reading (like a book you can temporarily get lost in) help? Watching movies? I think one thing I did was even "schedule" how I was going to get through each hour. Of course this site was the most helpful of everything to me, and it's mostly what saved me. Have you been able to mostly stay away from people don't understand?
Sending prayers that when you wake up today, the first thing you will remember is that Rocky truly is there with you. It's really him (just not in his beautiful regal body. But he's still Rocky).
Sending a hug of comfort too,
Kathy
Hello my friends,
This morning was hard, this grief is like a burden you swallow and it sits in your gut and no matter where you go its always there, no matter what you do there it is, its very traumatizing, but worse. I just feel so introverted. The world has turned into something i don't recognize or make any sense of any more now that Rocky has physically died
Help!
Hesista
This morning was hard, this grief is like a burden you swallow and it sits in your gut and no matter where you go its always there, no matter what you do there it is, its very traumatizing, but worse. I just feel so introverted. The world has turned into something i don't recognize or make any sense of any more now that Rocky has physically died
Help!
Hesista
Thank you Kathy, i missed reading your letter when i just wrote my last post. Thank you thank you thank you for your reminder again that rocky is with me this morning. This morning was walking through a thick quicksand of grief, i was desperately thinking of what to take to give me some relief but i know there is really nothing, i have been taking some herbal sedatives in the evening but they just help me fall asleep after hours and then only for a a short part of the night
Thank you for your letter, it really is a life line. I know use that metaphor a lot but that is exactly what it is
So grateful.
Hesista
Thank you for your letter, it really is a life line. I know use that metaphor a lot but that is exactly what it is
So grateful.
Hesista
Hi Hesista,
I hope today brings you a moment to just give yourself a hug and to give yourself credit for moving through all this pain called grief. Words will never describe how deep the love you shared with Rocky was while he was present on earth and the deep love you will forever carry in your heart. It is also difficult to describe the raw pain you suffer through with such a huge loss. Although I cannot be there to physically hug you and hear the wonderful stories about Rocky I am doing so here. So, please feel the comfort and remember we want to hear about you and Rocky, he is still there beside you ever step of the way and so are your friends here at LS.
By now he has met so many new friends and he is smiling right now looking at you, so handsome and healthy, nudging you to smile back through the tears, as he always has.
He wants you to be okay and I know you want to be also, just remember this thing called grieving has it's own time frame, we cannot put a number on when it eases. It just happens one day, when you least expect it. But I promise you will be there someday, we never thought we would get there, but somehow, with the help of this site we are healing. You will too. Stay here with us, you can always count on us.
Cheri
I hope today brings you a moment to just give yourself a hug and to give yourself credit for moving through all this pain called grief. Words will never describe how deep the love you shared with Rocky was while he was present on earth and the deep love you will forever carry in your heart. It is also difficult to describe the raw pain you suffer through with such a huge loss. Although I cannot be there to physically hug you and hear the wonderful stories about Rocky I am doing so here. So, please feel the comfort and remember we want to hear about you and Rocky, he is still there beside you ever step of the way and so are your friends here at LS.
By now he has met so many new friends and he is smiling right now looking at you, so handsome and healthy, nudging you to smile back through the tears, as he always has.
He wants you to be okay and I know you want to be also, just remember this thing called grieving has it's own time frame, we cannot put a number on when it eases. It just happens one day, when you least expect it. But I promise you will be there someday, we never thought we would get there, but somehow, with the help of this site we are healing. You will too. Stay here with us, you can always count on us.
Cheri
Oh thank you Cheri your letter helped me so much just when i needed it, as i mentioned last night and today are especially hard. Felt more pain and different dimensions of it that wiped me out. I was laying down most of the day, couldn't do much...again
This is going take a long time I'm realizing
I really appreciate all the metaphors and depictions everybody writes to me, they are so beautiful
its tough right now
Oh my precious Rocky
Hesista
This is going take a long time I'm realizing
I really appreciate all the metaphors and depictions everybody writes to me, they are so beautiful
its tough right now
Oh my precious Rocky
Hesista
Its been really hard again today, its two weeks now since Rocky died and its harder after two weeks than it was the first week. I spoke to a counselor who specializes in pet death grief support and she told me that for most of people seriously grieving the death of their animals it gets a lot worse for a long time before it gets better. Its not the case that it just gets better day by day, that instead it gets a lot worse for a long time before it gets better. She said a lot of people go through that, and that when that happens understand that can be expected. When she that, it helped me to get a grip on what was happening to me.
I feel exhausted and today i felt dizzy so i took some multi vitamins which i never take and a few other nutritional supplements, moonbeam is right, this shock and grieving takes a serious toll on our health. I knew it would be bad but i didn't realize the toll it would have on me, i really didn't realize the intense toll on our strength.
I am just taking it one minute to the next because that all i can do.
Hesista
I feel exhausted and today i felt dizzy so i took some multi vitamins which i never take and a few other nutritional supplements, moonbeam is right, this shock and grieving takes a serious toll on our health. I knew it would be bad but i didn't realize the toll it would have on me, i really didn't realize the intense toll on our strength.
I am just taking it one minute to the next because that all i can do.
Hesista
Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so glad you were able to seek guidance from a professional counselor that was helpful for you. Several years ago for different traumatic reasons I needed the assistance of a professional counselor, and I'm so glad you were able to speak with someone who offered you encouragement, support, and comfort.
Yes, this grief journey does take a toll on us both physically and emotionally, so please try to get plenty of rest and try to keep the stress levels down as much as possible until you are feeling stronger. This grief journey is a marathon - - not a sprint. Clinical professionals recognize that the first year of a grief journey is the hardest because it is filled with so many adjustments in our lives.
I hope you will have a peaceful evening, hesista. Thank you again so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, and how you're doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Yes, this grief journey does take a toll on us both physically and emotionally, so please try to get plenty of rest and try to keep the stress levels down as much as possible until you are feeling stronger. This grief journey is a marathon - - not a sprint. Clinical professionals recognize that the first year of a grief journey is the hardest because it is filled with so many adjustments in our lives.
I hope you will have a peaceful evening, hesista. Thank you again so very much for sharing your beloved Rocky with us, and how you're doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Dear Hesista,
I am comforted today with the thought that you have been given some very good advise from a counselor! You are taking good care of yourself and that is a big step on your wellness. Of course we are here wishing you only the best in your days to come. You can only do what you can and we all want to help you with each and every day.
It's a long journey, but your not alone, we are right here with you.
Always in my prayers
Cheri
I am comforted today with the thought that you have been given some very good advise from a counselor! You are taking good care of yourself and that is a big step on your wellness. Of course we are here wishing you only the best in your days to come. You can only do what you can and we all want to help you with each and every day.
It's a long journey, but your not alone, we are right here with you.
Always in my prayers
Cheri
Hesista, please allow me to offer my sincere sympathies on the loss of your precious Rocky. Losing a furry friend is like losing a family member. It hurts just as much if not even more. What you are feeling is normal. It hurts so much because we love our precious friends so much. They give us so much love and brighten our lives, and when they are gone they leave a huge void. I lost my little Danny boy two months ago, and I still miss him so much -- I know how you feel. Please be especially kind to yourself and get enough rest. The only way to get 'over' this is to go 'through' it, to cry the tears and to feel the pain. You may want to start a journal and write down your feelings. It does help somewhat writing down how you feel and takes some of the pain away. We are here for you.
Thank you Moonbeam, Cheri, and Danny's Mom, it was so good to read all of your reassurances again, Thank you for reminding me again that you're al walking with me with support on this long journey and that we are all together because that's the only way well make it
Very very grateful.
Hesista
Very very grateful.
Hesista
Hi Hesista
I hope you get some sleep tonight You are doing the best you can, you know. If I could make this pain go away I would in a heartbeat! Your right we do, unfortunately all share in this grief and I truly wish it weren't so. But, we are stronger because we have each other and we can do this, we WILL do this. I am here for you .
Cheri
I hope you get some sleep tonight You are doing the best you can, you know. If I could make this pain go away I would in a heartbeat! Your right we do, unfortunately all share in this grief and I truly wish it weren't so. But, we are stronger because we have each other and we can do this, we WILL do this. I am here for you .
Cheri
Thank you Cheri your letters of love and support are my strength, when i lay there and its so unbearable i just remember your words, " you are not alone, we are all here for you, i am here for you" the pain subsides enough to get me to the next moment to breathe
Thank you Cheri, thank you thank you
Hesista
Thank you Cheri, thank you thank you
Hesista
Hi Hesista,
I am thinking of you today and hoping you have had a moment of comfort in the day. Maybe a glimpse of how happy Rocky is now and those images of him healthy and glowing. Have you had a Rocky spirit experience where you hear his footsteps or feel a presence beside you when you are quiet? It happens, you just have to be aware of it or it will quickly disappear. He is there and he wants you to be well, just as he always knew when you were down or ill. Not everyone can know your pain and that lonely despair, but we do, and we just sooo want to make sure you know it is normal, as crummy as that sounds, you can only do what is physically possible, and that's all the day will hold. But tomorrow might bring a little glimmer of light when you aren't looking, give yourself a chance to dream about the time when the sadness is lighter, that will someday come to you. But for now the most important thing you can do is minimize the stress you have on yourself in any way you can. Be it a walk, a nap, a chance to read this site, or find a book that gives you direction on coping, just do one little thing for yourself, it is worth it for your health.
We are forever changing and adjusting, nothing is the same, but we will get to who we are becoming in this new reality.
Just never lose hope, you are stronger then you believe, I promise.
Cheri
I am thinking of you today and hoping you have had a moment of comfort in the day. Maybe a glimpse of how happy Rocky is now and those images of him healthy and glowing. Have you had a Rocky spirit experience where you hear his footsteps or feel a presence beside you when you are quiet? It happens, you just have to be aware of it or it will quickly disappear. He is there and he wants you to be well, just as he always knew when you were down or ill. Not everyone can know your pain and that lonely despair, but we do, and we just sooo want to make sure you know it is normal, as crummy as that sounds, you can only do what is physically possible, and that's all the day will hold. But tomorrow might bring a little glimmer of light when you aren't looking, give yourself a chance to dream about the time when the sadness is lighter, that will someday come to you. But for now the most important thing you can do is minimize the stress you have on yourself in any way you can. Be it a walk, a nap, a chance to read this site, or find a book that gives you direction on coping, just do one little thing for yourself, it is worth it for your health.
We are forever changing and adjusting, nothing is the same, but we will get to who we are becoming in this new reality.
Just never lose hope, you are stronger then you believe, I promise.
Cheri
Hi Cheri,
The words you wrote me, "...you are stronger than you believe I promise" are so amazing. I believe this is what Rocky wants to say to me, these are the words Rocky wants me to hear that he"s saying to me. This gives me so much courage and strength, means so much to me
Thank you again so much Cheri
Hesista
The words you wrote me, "...you are stronger than you believe I promise" are so amazing. I believe this is what Rocky wants to say to me, these are the words Rocky wants me to hear that he"s saying to me. This gives me so much courage and strength, means so much to me
Thank you again so much Cheri
Hesista
Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Just stopping by to say you are in my thoughts and prayers. Our wonderful correspondent Cheri has shared with you what is also in my heart, so please read her words of comfort, encouragement, and suport frequently, and know that they come from the both of us.
I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Rocky's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Rocky's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Hesista
So good to hear from you! I am wishing you a good, peaceful Saturday eve. You made it through another week, doesn't seem possible how the time goes by us when we feel as though we are standing still, frozen even. You know I look forward to hearing from you too, we all do. It might seem strange, but I think we feel better and even encouraged when we hear a new friend is moving forward along this journey with us! It just seems to help us get by day to day knowing someone else is doing the same thing at the exact moment when we need them the most.
You are in my thoughts and prayers Hesista
Cheri
So good to hear from you! I am wishing you a good, peaceful Saturday eve. You made it through another week, doesn't seem possible how the time goes by us when we feel as though we are standing still, frozen even. You know I look forward to hearing from you too, we all do. It might seem strange, but I think we feel better and even encouraged when we hear a new friend is moving forward along this journey with us! It just seems to help us get by day to day knowing someone else is doing the same thing at the exact moment when we need them the most.
You are in my thoughts and prayers Hesista
Cheri
Thank you so much Moonbeam and Cheri
It is always uplifting to read your letters. I just had to stay very quiet today and just get my self from one moment to the next, from one matter to the next. I got through this day, that's monumental sometimes
Much gratitude
Hesista
It is always uplifting to read your letters. I just had to stay very quiet today and just get my self from one moment to the next, from one matter to the next. I got through this day, that's monumental sometimes
Much gratitude
Hesista
Hi Hesista,
I agree, getting through some of the days routine can be monumental at times. Just trying to focus long enough to accomplish a small task can be overwhelming. The days are getting longer now and that will give me more of an opportunity to get to my list of things I tend to put off. I hope today is better than the last and you will find a moment to quiet your mind. Do something for yourself, that is what Rocky would want for you, a little treat for yourself. He is always beside you in your heart and in the beautiful memories you shared!
Take it one day, one moment at a time.
Cheri
I agree, getting through some of the days routine can be monumental at times. Just trying to focus long enough to accomplish a small task can be overwhelming. The days are getting longer now and that will give me more of an opportunity to get to my list of things I tend to put off. I hope today is better than the last and you will find a moment to quiet your mind. Do something for yourself, that is what Rocky would want for you, a little treat for yourself. He is always beside you in your heart and in the beautiful memories you shared!
Take it one day, one moment at a time.
Cheri
Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Adding my support to Cheri's message of comfort and encouragement to you. Especially sduring the deep grief is vitally important that you keep the stress levels to a minimum as possible. Be sure that you drink plenty of fluids because stress will dehydrate you even if you don't feel it. And if you don't feel like eating, that's normal, but it is still important that you take some form of nourishment - - like broth, or a nourishment drink like ensure or boost - - or something that will keep your immune system working. The stress of grieving takes a toll on our immune systems so it is important that you get some form of rest and nourishment.
I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Cheri and Moonbeam, it was so nice to get another letter from both of you
Yesterday and today have been reeeeally hard. I feel soo much anziety, feel terrified at times missing Rocky.
Its like my whole being is in shock again and again. If I feel a little relief the anxiety just comes a wave unannounced and I don't know how to cope with it except just be try to hang in there somehow. I talked to a few people today, a friend who was so hurtful with what she said because I hoped to get some support from her instead she injured me with devastating comments. I feel so much worse from talking to her
I know I shouldn't talk to people who aren't where were at but sometimes I just get desperate and try and hope for the best
That's why it was so nice to come here to your letters.
I don't know how I would get through without them
Very grateful
Hesista
Yesterday and today have been reeeeally hard. I feel soo much anziety, feel terrified at times missing Rocky.
Its like my whole being is in shock again and again. If I feel a little relief the anxiety just comes a wave unannounced and I don't know how to cope with it except just be try to hang in there somehow. I talked to a few people today, a friend who was so hurtful with what she said because I hoped to get some support from her instead she injured me with devastating comments. I feel so much worse from talking to her
I know I shouldn't talk to people who aren't where were at but sometimes I just get desperate and try and hope for the best
That's why it was so nice to come here to your letters.
I don't know how I would get through without them
Very grateful
Hesista
Hi Hesista
Hoping your today was better than yesterday.
Finding good,supportive friends is truly a blessing and I am praying you come to meet good people who honestly care. And you can be sure we do here at LS!
Hesista you are always assured we will understand and be there to just listen or send our prayers your way.
You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight, please be still and let your mind rest.
Cheri
Hoping your today was better than yesterday.
Finding good,supportive friends is truly a blessing and I am praying you come to meet good people who honestly care. And you can be sure we do here at LS!
Hesista you are always assured we will understand and be there to just listen or send our prayers your way.
You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight, please be still and let your mind rest.
Cheri
Thank you Cheri,
Today had more distractions so sometimes makes the day go faster, maybe not easier but faster which is a small favor but helpful
Thank you so much for writing me
Hesista
Today had more distractions so sometimes makes the day go faster, maybe not easier but faster which is a small favor but helpful
Thank you so much for writing me
Hesista
Hey Hesista,
Just checkin in, and hoping you are having a peaceful eve. I know that's a lot to ask of you during this stressful time, but I am praying for moments of peace mixed in for your days ahead.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Cheri
Just checkin in, and hoping you are having a peaceful eve. I know that's a lot to ask of you during this stressful time, but I am praying for moments of peace mixed in for your days ahead.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Cheri
Hi, hesista, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Stopping by to say hello and to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope today is treating you kindly, hesista, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE (hesista @ Mar 5 2012, 07:02 PM)
Hi Cheri and Moonbeam, it was so nice to get another letter from both of you
Yesterday and today have been reeeeally hard. I feel soo much anziety, feel terrified at times missing Rocky.
Its like my whole being is in shock again and again. If I feel a little relief the anxiety just comes a wave unannounced and I don't know how to cope with it except just be try to hang in there somehow. I talked to a few people today, a friend who was so hurtful with what she said because I hoped to get some support from her instead she injured me with devastating comments. I feel so much worse from talking to her
I know I shouldn't talk to people who aren't where were at but sometimes I just get desperate and try and hope for the best
That's why it was so nice to come here to your letters.
I don't know how I would get through without them
Very grateful
Hesista
Yesterday and today have been reeeeally hard. I feel soo much anziety, feel terrified at times missing Rocky.
Its like my whole being is in shock again and again. If I feel a little relief the anxiety just comes a wave unannounced and I don't know how to cope with it except just be try to hang in there somehow. I talked to a few people today, a friend who was so hurtful with what she said because I hoped to get some support from her instead she injured me with devastating comments. I feel so much worse from talking to her
I know I shouldn't talk to people who aren't where were at but sometimes I just get desperate and try and hope for the best
That's why it was so nice to come here to your letters.
I don't know how I would get through without them
Very grateful
Hesista
Hello Hesista, I am sorry I haven't written for a while. I am still grieving over Danny and my little Tina has been so sick and that has taken its toll on me. The fear and anxiety are part of the grief journey. It is normal that you are feeling anxiety. Something precious was taken from you, and it feels like you're a ship adrift on the open seas. You're trying to regain control, and the higher your expectations the more anxiety you will probably experience. It could be fear of the future, fear of another loss, fear of how to deal with it.
I am so sorry that your friend was hurtful with what she said. Most people just don't really know what to say and they will probably say the wrong things. I've had to deal with that as well, but you know what? The people here in this forum understand and they have been so wonderful. Please know that we are all here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Hugs,
DannysMom
Hi Moonbeam, Cheri, and Dannysmom,
Dannysmom, I m praying mighty strong that your beloved Tina is going to recover full health. I found that when I started feeding fresh real meat to my furbabies that were much healthier. You might want to try that.
Thank you all for your prayers and healing thoughts because they are helping me so much and making this journery much much more fortified with all your caring and kindness. Your constant and reliable support is so amazin it just amazes me
Much gratitude
Jungyon
Dannysmom, I m praying mighty strong that your beloved Tina is going to recover full health. I found that when I started feeding fresh real meat to my furbabies that were much healthier. You might want to try that.
Thank you all for your prayers and healing thoughts because they are helping me so much and making this journery much much more fortified with all your caring and kindness. Your constant and reliable support is so amazin it just amazes me
Much gratitude
Jungyon
Hi, Jungyon, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I know you are finding some days easier than others, and this pattern is still very unpredictable. If this is the case please let me try to reassure you that this is very normal for this grief adjustment journey. But I promise you, Jungyon, that eventually you will have more better days and the not so easy ones will not be quite as painful. Please know we are always here for you. There are no judgments here - - please know we are here for you to share whatever is in your heart and on your mind - - whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Jungyon, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Rocky.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you kindly, Jungyon, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Rocky.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Hesista
I too hope this day will bring you a moment of solitude. You need to take time to heal and go easy on yourself. There is limits to our grief, only brief moments of light through the gray skies, one day, one moment at a time. I only wish for your peace to come and be here to share in whatever the days may bring. Keep us posted, we're here for you.
In my prayers ,
Cheri
I too hope this day will bring you a moment of solitude. You need to take time to heal and go easy on yourself. There is limits to our grief, only brief moments of light through the gray skies, one day, one moment at a time. I only wish for your peace to come and be here to share in whatever the days may bring. Keep us posted, we're here for you.
In my prayers ,
Cheri
Hi Hesista
I am so glad you found this wonderful site. It really is the best place to come to when feeling down and lost as these people know exactly how you feel. I am very sorry for your loss and the grief path is a journey of ups and downs but remember how much love you gave your baby and how much love your baby gave you.
Unfortunately when it comes to friends and families we have to tread carefully when choosing who we talk to....and it shouldn't have to be like that as people should accept that pets are like children for us. I am sorry to hear your friend was not very supportive but that does not mean another one will be the same. I hope you can find someone to talk to this about as keeping it held in makes the grief journey so much harder but this place will still help with the many people here who have been through or are still going through the journey.
I hope you are feeling ok today Hesista.
xxForeverxx
I am so glad you found this wonderful site. It really is the best place to come to when feeling down and lost as these people know exactly how you feel. I am very sorry for your loss and the grief path is a journey of ups and downs but remember how much love you gave your baby and how much love your baby gave you.
Unfortunately when it comes to friends and families we have to tread carefully when choosing who we talk to....and it shouldn't have to be like that as people should accept that pets are like children for us. I am sorry to hear your friend was not very supportive but that does not mean another one will be the same. I hope you can find someone to talk to this about as keeping it held in makes the grief journey so much harder but this place will still help with the many people here who have been through or are still going through the journey.
I hope you are feeling ok today Hesista.
xxForeverxx
Hesista, I hope this finds you well. I agree with xxForeverxx that just because one friend turned out to be less than supportive doesn't mean that another one won't be supportive. And yes, holding in the grief makes it harder. I know that from my own experience. I would sometimes find a quiet and lonely place to drive to and I would park there and just cry. I didn't want to cry so much in front of Tina and Mindy. You may find it safe to cry in your own home. It will get better. We are all here for you if you need us.
Hugs,
DannysMom
Hugs,
DannysMom
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