Those of you that have read my early posts shortly after the passing of my Sir Thomas are aware I was, to say the least, not at my best with him toward the end. It was like that too in the beginning....

It started in the summer of 2005. A female friend I had made over the internet who lived in another city was lamenting her poor lot in life and longed to move to either Lexington or Louisville (the 2 largest in Kentucky, the latter being my home) to get a fresh start. But she lacked the resources to even begin. I decided to try to help her out and offer her a place to stay free of charge until she got on her feet. Enter Tom. He was a cat she had gotten from a friend, neighbor, or co-worker (who can keep it all straight) Seems he had wandered into her yard lost and alone. At the time, I also had a cat, Miss Kitty (a story for another time) Tom was fearful of strangers, men especially which I found out to my chagrin when I tried to pick him up and he slapped my glasses clear across the room. He would run, hide, hiss, and growl. Her solutiion? Beat him up and toss him in his carrier. For reasons I still cannot comprehend, not only did I go along with it, I even teased him a bit when in said carrier. He would hiss and growl and swat. But, one evening in his "time out" we made eye contact. He looked at me, sad and forelorn. If he could speak I would almost swear he was saying "Why are you mocking me? Can you not see that I am just so very scared?"

At that moment it's like a switch inside me was flipped. I opened the carrier door and let him free. I announced to my "house guest" this was MY apartment where I pay the bills and she is just a guest, free of charge. I went on to state that the nightly beatings and throwing into the carrier were OVER! If Tom wants to hide, then he shall be allowed to do so and come out and about in his own time and way. Each night after that I would bring treats to the edge of the chair under which he liked to hide. Each night I could get just a little closer, until eventually he was taking them right out of my hand. At that point I told him I was sorry for the poor treatment and that I knew what it was like to be mistreated due to simply being misunderstood. I made an effort to get to know him as an individual. Not just what his "owner" thought he should be. From then on, we were inseparable. On the day she came with her family to collect her things (with police escort at my insistance, also another story) he hid until they had gone.

All of my life I've had and been around cats. I was fond of every one of them. But I now know that all those years, I was a pet owner, not a pet parent. It was not until Tom came along and through our love and bond that I was transformed into a pet parent. Without his influence I would not be the pet parent I am now to Theresa and Tang.

Be well at the Bridge my friend, Sir Thomas. You made a better person of me and you are missed.....

Hi Tom's Dad

I have followed your earlier stories although always kept quiet. I just wanted to say how in the end it did not matter how you started off with Sir Thomas. You gave him so much love and did the one thing that by the sounds of it was not possible and made him love a male! If you had allowed your baby to go with that woman he would not, for a fact, have had the life you gave him as he would have still been shoved in the carrier etc and neglected. You taught him to trust again. You gave him a reason to love you and by the sounds of it he taught you a few things too which is one of the things I have realised after losing my Chewy. Our animals teach us so many more things then we realise. I am sure he is at the bridge telling you not to be so hard on yourself about the beginnings and the ends, which compared to the rest of the journey you shared together, does not really matter.

My deepest sympathies for your loss but also I am glad to be hearing the good things with Theresa and Tang.

xxForeverxx

Thank you xxForeverxx

As I recall, Tang was also fearful of human males when they put me and Theresa in the room at vet's office. But I suppose what Tom had taught me me came through. In a silent vigil and my best attempt at a soothing voice, he came right over to me. To this day, I believe that Tom's spirit lead that little guy to me.

Hi, Tracy, thank you so very much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' earthly journey with us. I totally agree with Forever: "I am sure he is at the bridge telling you not to be so hard on yourself about the beginnings and the ends, which compared to the rest of the journey you shared together, does not really matter."

There truly is a difference between being an "owner" and a "parent/guardian/caregiver/steward" of our precious companions. I never liked the word "owner" as it implies "property" and our precious companions are living breathing feeling creatures - - not a car or sofa or tv, etc.. I am so very, very glad that you opened yourself to your beloved Sir Thomas so that he could show you the difference which brought a new awareness of love to your heart. You are to be commended for this, Tracy, and your beloved Sir Thomas is beaming with pride in his Forever Dad.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Sir Thomas with us, Tracy, and thank you for being here with us in this wonderful forum. Please know you and your precious Theresa and little Tang are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Well, Sir Thomas

Yesterday marked 1 year and 3 months to the day you went over the Rainbow Bridge. Bet you thought I forgot, huh? No my little man cat, I can and will NEVER forget about you, the 5 wonderful years we had, and how it was all too brief It seems I have found myself in a similar situation with your little brother Tang in that he needs a medical procedure that I cannot afford and am now once again looking for work, They say it isn't life threatening (yet) as was ultimately in your case, but waiting can't be good. Say a little prayer up there for us your family down here on earth baby boy. We will always keep you in our hearts and souls. Be good up there Sir Thomas.

Love,
Dad

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. Please know your beloved Sir Thomas is keeping a loving vigil over you and his sister and little brother.

I hope today is treating you, your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids are blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort and cheer you. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, Tracy.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Well, Sir Thomas it's been 14 months to the day since you crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Easter Sunday of all days Not a day goes by I do not think of you sweet boy. I hope you and all your new friends up there are well and happy. Your dad sure has his hands full down here, but is doing his best to get by. Always remember that I love and miss you, and your little sister and the little brother you lead my way do too. Say a little prayer for him if you don't mind. Hugs

Dad.

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. How special that your beloved Sir Thomas joined the angels on Easter Sunday - - the day of celebration that brings ALL of God's creation the promise of eternal joy. May this bring comfort, hope, and peace to your heart, Tracy, as your beloved Sir Thomas waits patiently for your appropriate time to join him.

I hope today is being kind to you, Tracy, and to your precious Theresa and little Tang. Thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

But Tom died 12.08.2010 just a few weeks before Christmas. Yesterday (Easter) was just the 14 month angelversary of that. Which is what made is so difficult

Hi, Tracy, sorry for the misunderstanding. Still your beloved Sir Thomas IS in eternal joy - - and is keeping a loving vigil over you, his sister Theresa and little brother Tang. Even though I goofed, thank you for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Well, Sir Thomas

Here we are again. Today it's been 15 months since you crossed over the bridge. I hope it's nice up there and you get tuna and salmon every day my little man. Your little brother Tang is still struggling with that thing in his ear. If you have any pull up there, it would sure be appreciated. I don't want him having to join you up there before his time. But I know you would look after him the same as you did here on earth with your little sis Theresa (even though you didn't want me to see) Be good and know your dad, little brother and sister miss you

Tracy, it's good that you remember Sir Thomas. He must have had quite an impact on your life, even though you only had 5 years together. I remember you saying that you weren't with him when he died and found him when you got home. I am sorry that it happened that way. I'm sure that must have been so hard for you, not being able to say good-bye. But not matter how our fur kids die, it is always hard on us.

Thank you DannysMom

Yes, the memory of finding his body in involuntary last gasps of air on the cold bathroom floor will haunt be forever; I still cannot bring myself to stand in that spot. As will his almost begging croak of a meow not wanting me to go that morning. In hindsight, if I'd known I was going to lose that job anyway, I would have stayed with him I SHOULD have stayed with him. This is why I worry about Tang so much. Sometimes I feel like God is going to take another little boy away from me for lack of recourses....

Tracy, my heart goes out to you. I cannot even imagine the pain you must have felt seeing your Sir Thomas taking his last breaths. There is just no way that you could have known what was going to happen that day. I can understand how traumatic this whole experience must have been for you, and I definitely understand you worrying about Tang. I worry the same about Mindy. If she sneezes a tiny bit I get uneasy. Last night I was looking for her and I couldn't find her. I broke down crying, and that's when I saw her in the bedroom. I thought something had happened to her as she didn't respond to me calling her.

Hello Again Sir Thomas

It's been just over a year and a half since you went to be with the angels. Your dad and little sis still think about you and keep you in our hearts. Thank you for being my special boy for 5 years. I'm sorry for my lapses in judgement that resulted in me not having the funds to give you the medical attention that might have extended your time here on earth Also, thank you for looking out for Tang in his time of need and sending him our way. I hope I can do better by him than I did you my special man. Be good up there and know that Theresa and me and yes, even Tang (though he only knew you in spirit) all love you and miss you.


Dad.

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. I know you treasure all the wonderful memories you and your beloved Sir Thomas share, and I hope and pray you can feel the pride your beloved Sir Thomas holds in his heart for you as his Forever Dad.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Sir Thomas with us, Tracy, and thank you for being here with us in this wonderful forum. Please know you and your precious Theresa and little Tang are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Well, Tom my baby boy. This is the second Father's Day without you. I think about you daily. I hope today you think about your dad, and know that he loves you very much.

Well Sir Thomas

Today marks 1 year and 9 months to the day you passed over the Rainbow Bridge. I think about you everyday, even though you don't seem to make your presence known as much as you used to. But when you do, I feel it all through my heart and soul. Theresa and Tang are doing well. Little Tang is battling diabetes same as you did and struggling with that ear. But with Drs Harris and Mills help, I think we can get through it. Thank you for sending him our way, baby boy. I hope you are getting plenty of sunshine and treats up there. Be good, we miss you.

Love,

Dad, Theresa, and Tang.

Tom

Today I took a walk around outside at work during lunch. It is a beautiful sunny day, but not too warm. Just the kind you liked. I imagined you out on the balcony looking so regal the way you always did. As if about to make a royal proclaimation. As I was walking around, two Monarch butterflies fluttered about; as if following me. I would like to think you did that my Thomas. Be good. I love you.

Dad.

Hi Tracy,

I truly believe that Sir Thomas was sending you a love message through those butterflies. Monarc butterflies are supposed to be especially important......Thank you for sharing Sir Tom's anniversary with us. You are a good dad.

LoveMyMickey

Hi, Tracy, stopping by to say hello and to share your beautiful love letters to your beloved Sir Thomas. It doesn't matter how much time passes on our continued earthly journey for our beloved companions are forever with us in our hearts and memories. And I firmly believe they find ways to continue to let us know they are with us in our journey in various ways - - like sending butterflies just for us. Thank you for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' treasured memories with us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious Theresa and little Tang. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, Tracy, stopping by to say hello and to share your beautiful love letters to your beloved Sir Thomas. It doesn't matter how much time passes on our continued earthly journey for our beloved companions are forever with us in our hearts and memories. And I firmly believe they find ways to continue to let us know they are with us in our journey in various ways - - like sending butterflies just for us. Thank you for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' treasured memories with us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious Theresa and little Tang. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you LoveMyMickey and moon_beam

As summer turns to Fall, and Fall to early Winter I realize I'm coming up on the 2 year mark of his Angelversary crossing the Rainbow Bridge. That night still haunts me; more so as I get closer to the actual date. The whys/why nots and what ifs. Every time I give Tang his insulin shots I try to get clinically detached to get through it without breaking down. In the back of my mind I'm still thinking about Tom and how nervous I was the first few times I gave him his shots. How "good" at it I have become even after months of not doing it.

There is so much of Tom I see in Tang. And yet he is still very much his own kitty man. Even Theresa interacts with him differently. I still have Tom's little picture on my computer desk and his larger color print out (my avatar on here) on the wall behind the TV with the sympathy cards and his clay paw print. As odd as it may sound, I still talk to them and him. So much guilt in not having the money. Not just for his care here on earth, but not being able to afford private cremation; not having his ashes.

Be good up there Sir Thomas, my Prince. You are loved and missed.

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can feel the melancholy in your heart about what you could and could not do for your beloved Sir Thomas. I truly am very sorry you could not afford a private cremation of your beloved Tom. But you ALWAYS have his sweet Living Spirit with you, Tracy, in your heart and your memories. And no, it is not odd at all for you to continue to talk to him for the sound of your voice is like a sweet incense lifting upward to him as he continues to listen intently to every word you say to him.

I can so understand how giving your precious Tang his insulin injections is a constant flash back for you to your beloved Sir Thomas. I felt the same way giving my beloved Eli his chemo treatments as they were the very same meds my mom took for her identical cancer. Others in the "general population" might not understand how much little Tang's diabetes weighs on your heart because of your experience with your beloved Sir Thomas, but I assure you, Tracy, we here in this wonderful forum DO get it - - and equally, if not most, importantly so does your beloved Sir Thomas.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious Theresa and little Tang. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

For your kind and supportive words as usual. This time of year is always hard for me. Tom may have passed in December of that year, but it was around this time he really showed signs of going down hill For a cat of 10-11 he looked twice that age. I wish I'd been kinder, gentler, and more patient. I know we have been all over "anitcipatory" grief, but it does not make those dark times any easier to reconcile.

Yes, every time I give Tang a shot, it takes me back to some difficult times. But, I try to take joy in being able to take care of him and Theresa - and sometimes - just every once in a while - I will see a bit of Tom in their eyes, the way they play, etc.

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your beloved Sir Thomas with us. People who live with one another, and who are attuned to one another emotionally, often embrace the characteristics of their spouse / significant other - - they become one heart and one mind. I believe it is the same for our precious companions - - even when they have never physically known the companion who is with the angels. I do firmly believe that our beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit is ever present and is "revealed" to us through some of the behaviors and characteristics apparent in our new companion(s). So I hope you find comfort in knowing that your beloved Sir Thomas continues to share your earthly journey through his sister Theresa and little brother Tang ("every once in a while - I will see a bit of Tom in their eyes, the way they play, etc.").

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious Theresa and little Tang. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Thomas, as Summer now turns to Autum and the leaves change color, the air is cooler and crisp. This was always your favorite time of year. A time when it was no longer hot, but not yet quite cold. A time for you and your little sister to go on the balcony and we would watch the sun set together. It was also just 2 years ago around this time that would be your last Autum with us. I wish I'd known. I would have treasured it so much more. You be good up there my baby boy. Oh, and one more thing. Stay gold Tommy boy, stay gold. This one's for you.

http://youtu.be/ZXU2hE8FmjM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your heart-felt beautiful love letter to your beloved Sir Thomas. The seasons changing are mile markers to our journey with our companions - - both while they physically share their earthly journey and after they precede us to the angels. The time they share with us during their earthly journey seems to go by in a blink of an eye - - the time we must continue on in our earthly journey after they precede us to the angels feels like an empty eternity. It is a difficult adjustment even when we have the blessing of other precious companions to continue sharing our earthly journey. The comfort is knowing that the love bond we share with them is eternal, and this gives us the courage and hope to continue on as their living legacy.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious Theresa and little Tang. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dearest Sir Thomas, this is how I picture the Rainbow Bridge at sunset where you surely are

Tracy, that is BEAUTIFUL!

Hi, Tracy, ditto LoveMyMickey's response - - your image of where your beloved Sir Thomas is is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you LoveMyMickey, moon_beam

When I saw it on FB, I knew it fit perfectly with how I envisioned a place in the ether that we could share. Mostly when I am sad or depressed (which is more often then I would like) My mind comes to a place that looks like this.....

I came across this one today. This is where I'd like to go if it were possible for me and all my companions both here and at the Bridge to be together at the same time...

Soooooooo nice and peaceful.....Thank you for sharing, Tracy.

LoveMyMickey

These are beautiful pictures. How nice it would be to live in a place like that.

-Laura

Thank you Laura, I like to imagine all my fur babies and me together in these places.


Well, Sir Thomas. In a few days on the 8th it will 1 year and 11 months since you went to be with the angels. It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 years my little man. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. Your picture still on the wall by the TV with the cards and your clay paw print are prominant in our home. Your little sister Theresa misses you, and Tang is ever so thankful (as am I) that you guided him our way after he was abandoned. Be good up there Tommy Boy. Your dad, little sister, and the little brother you knew only in spirit miss you very much. Love,

Dad

PS: I'll try to find more beautiful pictures to post.

Dear Tracy,

Thank you for sharing Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. I don't know why the time passes so quickly, but it still hurts. Your Sir Thomas joined the angels about 2 months before my Mickey. I bet he welcomed Mickey with open paws.......

God Bless,

LoveMyMickey

Thank you LoveMyMickey

I'm sure Tom was indeed there to welcome Mickey. For he showed me how to love, and be loved. I'm better for having had him in my life......

Hi, Tracy, thank you for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas 23 month angel-versary with us. As our forum friend LoveMyMickey so wisely notes that even though our earthly journey continues our hearts continue to miss our beloved companion's sweet precious physical presence, although the grief is not as intense as it previously was. Love is a living, growing bond that is eternal - - and I hope your heart is comforted in knowing that YOU are blessed to be your beloved Sir Thomas' Forever Dad.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

Today is the 8th isn't it? That's why I posted early, because I just knew the whole day would pass by without me "noticing" Some days I wonder if my Sir Thomas' memories are fading away. So much of a struggle to keep Theresa, Tang and myself off the streets; I hope my Tommy Boy understands.....

Hi, Tracy, as the days, months, and years continue you may notice that you do not always remember the "date" your beloved Sir Thomas joined the angels, and this is okay - - because - - your heart is now able to focus on the wonderful memories you and your beloved Sir Thomas share - - from his earthly journey with you and even now as he continues to share your earthly journey from his heavenly home. So please let me try to reassure you that your memories of your beloved Sir Thomas are ALWAYS and FOREVER with you - - he truly is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

It hardly seems like almost 2 years have passed. Where has the time gone? I don't think I will ever "forget" the date he joined the angels, nor will I ever get the image of him on the bathroom floor out of my head. It is forever burned there But sometimes the "8ths" do pass me by without a post. I try not to feel guilty about that, but it's difficult. Sir Thomas taught me so much, and I will never forget it him for that alone. He is the reason that am able give so much love to Theresa and Tang.

Well, Sir Thomas

As I sit here on my lunch break, I'm thinking: Here it is 2 days before Thanksgiving. This will be our second one without you here on Earth. Wishing I'd known 2010 would be your last; I'd not have worked that day even though the agency would not pay for it. I have to work again this year my friend and be away from your sister Theresa and in-spirit brother Tang. Will you watch over them in my absence as you do most other days? We are all thinking of you Tommy Boy. Holidays just are not the same without you here....

Love,

Dad.