Im 22, since i was 6 i had a callico cat named Casper, her name was Casper because when i was 6 casper was my favorite movie but anyway on monday my mother woke me up and said she was having trouble walking she was pulling herself by her front paws so i took off class just to take her to the vet and the whole time all i kept thinkin was please i dont want to hear tha she needs to be put to sleep so when it was her time to see the vet he looked at her and said she developed a blood clot that parlyzed her back paws and made it so she couldnt walk and he said eventually it would get to her heart so there was basically nothing to save her and she had to be put to sleep.
I couldnt stay in the room when they put her down so my mother did but i knew if i didnt go in there i would regret it so i went in there after it was done and just saw her body just laying there helpless cryin even more thinking i couldnt do anything for her..i always use to play with her tail nd wen i saw her laying there i did that waitin for any moment where she move it but she didnt and that hurt even more knowing it would never happen anymore
when she was a kitten my mother would always say to her "casper the friendy ghost the friendest ghost we kno we love our casper yes we do casper the friendly ghost" my mother said that to her when she was on that table helpess and it broke me down now i cant help but think bout tha saying hoping she would just come running on my pillow meowing for me to pet her
She would have been 16 in march.
Right now i feel so lost without her. Everything reminds me of her. She use to sleep on mi pillow and now mi bed just feels empty without her. Everything is making me cry and thats all i been spending my time doing. Casper use to eat and lick everything so my mom made some potato thing for dinner before and i was sitting there telling her if Casper was there her head woulda already been in the bowl licking whatever she can and i broke into tears. My mother came into my room before telling me my pillow looks empty without her. Everytime i would take a shower she would always sit in the sink now when i take a shower shes not there meowing at me.
Noone understands how i feel
everyone keeps sayin time will heal but rite now i feel like the only thing that will make me happy is having her
How do u go from 6 to 22 with an animal then the next day just losing her
i always use to come home and look for her now i come home nd have noone to look for or look forward to seeing
then i think in skool this week i have a test tha i have to pass to graduate college in june nd without passin i wont graduate but i think its so selfish to think bout other stuff other then her passin..i think im a horrible person rite now regretin her for dyin on the week i can actually use her to make me smile wen im stressed but shes not here

Oh, Eve, sweetheart. I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Casper. It's okay to feel the way you are feeling and totally normal. Everyone hear on this forum grieves with you. You are not alone. I will be praying for you. Love, Jennifer in Texas

I am soooo sorry about your baby Casper. The sadness is so deep right now, and it's all you can or even want to feel. Casper sounds like a little rascal and such a dear part of your family. I believe she is now in heaven feeling young again and pain free. I lost my 13year old kitty, Diego on NewYears eve and I know how difficult this time is. I can now start to see a picture of him and not cry. This site has helped me immensely to get through the roughest days. You can come here any time and share with us and the responses you receive really do help.
I hope you and your mother will take this time to grieve and heal yourselves together, you are going through so much right now, both of you, and it's good to have someone close to talk with.
We are here for you, every step of the way. I look forward to hearing from you again, until then remember you are in our thoughts and prayers and.... My Diego is probably licking Caspers ear right about now, welcoming her to their next adventure.
Cheri

Hi, EvEf, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Casper. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions on this side of eternity at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

EvEf, please know that your beloved Casper feels your eternal love for her, including when you were not present for the procedure. And please know that you are not being selfish thinking about passing your test. Your beloved Casper is so very proud of you for your courage under the stress of your grief, and your beloved Casper is right there with you cheering you on to do the very best you can on your test so that you can continue your education and graduate.

EvEf, what you are experiencing is very normal grief. This grief journey is very painful both emotionally and physically. We live in a physical oriented world based on the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. When our companions come into our hearts and lives, our lives are changed for the better. They are totally dependent upon us for their every need - - they literally become the center of our universe. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again. We are faced with the enormous task of re-building our lives without their precious physical presence sharing our earthly journey. This is incredibly difficult and it doesn't happen overnight, or in a day, a week, a month, - - there is no date on the calendar we can circle that we can say "this is when it won't hurt so much".

The good news is that the love bond you and your beloved Casper share is eternal. It is not dependent upon the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Casper is forever a part of you, EvEf. She is forever in your heart and your memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

And I promise you, EvEf, one day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Casper and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and you will feel your heart warmed by your beloved Casper's sweet Living Spirit. But for now, EvEf, there is this horrible grief journey to travel, and it can only be traveled in your own way and in your own time - - one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Casper with us, EvEf. She is so o cute peeking out of the box. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Evef, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

"I know im writing again so soon, but i just cant get over the death of my casper, everytime i try thinking bout other things i feel like im a horrible person because im not thinking bout how i let her down and how she must hate me rite now because shes not physically with me anymore.
I read the poem the rainbow bridge and in a way im happy shes at peace and not in pain anymore but then i wonder could she have been at peace here more if i did more to keep her healthly even thou the vet said what she did couldnt have been prevented.
It just really sucks without her"

Hi, EvEf, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. One of the hardest things we have to deal with during our grief journey is the "guilt" that overwhelms us. This is a normal part of this difficult grief journey, but unfortunately it is one of the hardest emotions to reconcile. I hope and pray that somehow you will feel a peace in your heart that your beloved Casper does not hate you - - that she knows you did everything you could to give her a happy and healthy earthly journey with you. Unfortunately our companions' physical bodies are identical to ours - - they are not designed for immortality on this side of eternity.

It is very hard adjusting our lives to the physical absence of our beloved companions. We live in a phsical oriented world based on the five senses of taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell. Our companions share these senses with us and they become the center of our universe during their earthly journey with us. This is one of the many reasons why it is so very painful both physically and emotionally when they precede us to the angels - - because we no longer have the privilege and blessing of their physical presence with us. I promise you, EvEf, that one day you will be able to feel happiness again in your heart and life for this is what your beloved Casper wants for you. But it's just going to take time, EvEf, one day at a time, - - with each of us walking beside you offering you our individual and collective strength, encouragement, and comfort.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, EvEf. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam