****THIS TOPIC HAS BEEN MOVED TO DEATH AND DYING FOR BETTER READERSHIP, SUPPORT, COMFORT, ADVICE, ETC...*****



The battle seemed to be a quick one. From the day I realized something was wrong to the day I said goodbye was only about 6 weeks. It has been quite the roller coaster ride. First, you think it's one thing and are filled with hope, then to find out that she has a tumor in her head and eventually it will kill her. She was slipping away and all I could do was pray for mercy. Then the doctor suggested homeopathy. Once again a ray of sunshine. Unfortunately a week ago her nose started to bleed and there was nothing I nor the doctor could do to stop it. We tried everything. This is was I wrote on Saturday, the day she left me forever:

Unfortuanely when I called the hospital this morning they said that
> her condition did not get any better. And I knew what I had to
do.
> I have always told myself that when the time came that I would not
> do it at the vet. She hated that place, what dog doesn't? I
wanted
> to do it at home and have her cremated. And that was exactly what
> we did.
> My doctor did everything in his power to save her. To the point
> that when he realized there was nothing he could do, his heart was
> broken, too. Pox had a way of getting into your heart.
> I made arrangements to pick her up and bring her home so that I
> could spend her last few hours saying goodbye, patiently waiting
for
> the doctor to come to my house (which he did...for free, even).
She
> was ready to go. Her little body had no energy and she was
slipping
> further and further away by the minute. I was able to lay on the
> floor next to her for hours, staring into her beautiful brown
eyes.
> She was my best friend. I got her 13 years ago when I was 13. We
> were little girls, then teenagers together. She has been through
> everything with me...high school, the boys and our years as young
> adults. Somewhere along the line she past me up and got old on
me.
> But she never knew it. Always loyal and dependable...I couldn't
ask
> for a better friend. I only hope that she feels the same way. I
> hope I gave to her at least half of the love, joy and happiness
that
> she gave to me. I have no regrets about anything...she lived a
> great life. A full life. And we were together through it all. It
> is so hard to believe that she is gone. And now comes the hard
> part...I stayed so strong for her up until she took her last
> breath...that was the worst part...her last breath. But now what.
> One mintute she is laying on her bed...and before I could turn
> around she is gone...just like that. No more Pox, no more pain, no
> more. I really don't know what I am supposed to be doing. I am
> having a hard time believing that this all really happened.
> Tomorrow I am gonna wake up...no dog to feed, to let out in the
> front yard so she can sniff around for other dogs that may have
come
> into the yard. No dog to come up behind, bend down put my arms
> around her and kiss her cheek, like I have done numerous times a
day
> for the last 13 years. No dog to smile (literally) when I come
> home. God, what I wouldn't give to always remember that smile.
She
> was such a big part of my life. Definitely one of the most
> important. And I am so grateful that I was blessed with such an
> awesome little buddie.
>
> Farewell and Rest in Peace my precious little angel.
>
> Dare

Hi Darebaby:

YOU WILL ALWAYS & FOREVER REMEMBER YOUR SWEET, PRECIOUS REMEMBER THE SWEET SMILE OF YOUR VERY, VERY PRECIOUS FURBABY.......

Memories are the one gift that we will always & forever have.....never to be taken away.............

God Bless you, My new friend,

Love, Denise, Ben, Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster....

Dare,

I'm so sorry about the passing of your precious baby! What you wrote was beautiful, and the love just shines through. She knows how much you love her!

Please know that while your baby's physical body had to pass on, her spirit is all around you, and she's experiencing only bliss---no pain of any kind. And when it's your time, you'll be reunited fully, and to her it will be as though no time has passed. The tough part is for you, because you are still in your physical body having to go through life without your baby---at least, in the form you've known her.

She wants you to be ok and to have as much joy in your life as you can.

Please keep writing, and let us know how you are doing!

Sending prayers of comfort,

Kathy

What a beautiful writing about your precious baby, Pox! I am sitting here in tears after reading it. I think you have expressed so much of what I feel too. I had to make that decision for my little girl on October 2nd (after spending 12 years together). Although I know in my heart I did the VERY kindest thing I could do for her, I am still haunted daily by her last breath. You thought out everything to make her the most comfortable. You let her come home, and you were there for her. Pox will live in your heart forever, and your memories together are blessings.

Please take care of yourself and visit here often. I still cry alot, but I know coming in here reading and writing is helping me cope.

Cheri

It has been one year since I lost my baby. I have not been back to this site in many many months. Today has been the hardest day in a long time and hearing all these stories has really opened up a wound for me. I have not cried like this in so long. It was like I wouldn't let myself be sad anymore. Everything reminds me of her, the smell of the handsoap in my bathroom reminds me of the many times I had to wash my hands the week she would not stop bleeding. The weather, everything. Yet so much has changed since then. I am so scared I will forget her. Forget the little things that I loved so much about her. I try not to think of those things because I am afraid to miss her. I am so emotional right now. I thought i could make it through the weekend and pretend it was just another day...but I can't. I miss her so much. I have her beautiful urn, her pictures and all of the wonderful memories to get me through on a day to day basis...but this is hard day for me. The year has gone by so fast. I was going to celebrate my new puppy's birthday on the anniversary of Pox's death (she was born the day after Pox died, ironically). I thought it might give the date a happier meaning. Is that wrong?

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time today. It's obvious how very much you love your Pox, and will continue to do so until the wonderful day that you're reunited. I lost my best friend, Winnie (17-year-old calico kitty) just six weeks ago, and I know that I have a long road ahead of me, but the pain we experience when our furbabies pass is the result of the overwhelming love we feel for them, which is really a wonderful thing!

I don't think you have to worry about forgetting Pox. If you haven't done this yet, you might think about puting together a scrapbook of photos, mementoes, a list of silly things she did, nicknames you gave her, important dates, etc. That might help you feel more relaxed about forgetting. And it may help you to concentrate on the good memories, rather than her last days. I'm sure that's what she wants for you!

As for celebrating your new puppy's birthday, only you can decide what is best for you. I don't think it's wrong to celebrate it on the day of Pox's passing, if that will give the day a little more cheerfulness for you. But, if you want to take this day to remember Pox and honor your love for her, then celebrate your puppy's birthday tomorrow, that could work, too.

In any case, I think I would try to think of this day not so much as the day you had to let Pox go, but the day that Pox was released from pain and allowed to run free again -- happy and healthy and filled with peace! She's with you in spirit right now, and I think she wants to see you happy, too. So do whatever it is that will give you some peace today.

All the best,
Eliza

Your post moved me to tears, I know you feel like the lucky one for having Pox in your life for 13 years but Pox was lucky too, you so obviously loved her and still do.
If the situation were reversed and our pets outlived us, wouldn't we want them to be happy and to celebrate life and feel secure in the love we shared that will never fade.
I'm sure Pox is happy you found love again and she has that lovely doggy smile on her face as she watches over you.