while my husband has apparently moved on and is only thinking about the good times we had with pablo, the depression has now set in with me. the reality of him being gone has been accepted, but i still spend about 80% of the day thinking about him. the sadness is still so intense that i'm starting to feel a little afraid of how intense it still is to me, 5 weeks on. My husband got home late last night and i had fallen asleep on the sofa, he woke me up and i just started crying, he looked at me and asked if i maybe should go see someone about this.

i tried to tell him that i dont think i am the only one who has ever grieved so deeply over a dog, but he just looked at me, sorta weird like.

there are times the cats make me smile and laugh and i do engage in conversations with people and its not like i am walking around boo hooing all day long, but the sadness is intense and i have to admit, its scaring me. i dont want to feel like this forever, yet i can't seem to kick it.

i tried getting another puppy, hoping it would take my mind off of it, but that was a big mistake and the puppy had to be returned.

i just feel so damn sad. i burst out into tears, quick little crying jags several times a day. i walk around just feeling so freaking depressed.

there are still instances where i think i will take pablo with me when i go here or there, then i remember he is not with me anymore and the pain just sets in again, and its intense.

to say this has been difficult is an understatement. i know that time heals all wounds and mends the heart, i'm ready for that now. i dont want to continue to feel sad, yet it doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon!

pablos mom

I will tell you that almost 5 months ago I wrote these same words. After my husband and I lost our Dixie I was a mess. I didn't leave the house for almost 3 weeks, cried all the time, slept with her collar and her toys, probably the same things you are doing now. I felt everyone around me was moving on and I was stuck.

I will tell you it does get easier, even though right now it doesn't feel that way. And you probably don't believe me, and that's ok too. Because when others would tell me that, I didn't believe them either. I thought how can it possibly get any better when she is not here anymore? But eventually, it does. It's almost as if you don't realize that you are starting to feel better, and then one day you think, hey, I am not as sad as I used to be. You still miss them like crazy, but you find that you are able to smile and laugh again. It will happen, I promise.

I don't recommend getting a new pup until you are 100% ready. It is no good for you or for the new dog. And when/if you decide you are ready, Pablo will lead you to your next family member. Myself and Rae, another member on this site, lost our black labs three weeks apart to the day. We also both brought new family members home on the same day. For us it was a new black lab pup, for her it a black male and a yellow female. That night we were talking, and both of us received signs that could not be mistaken for anything other than our beloved departed dogs sending them to us.

So, take the time, do your grieving, come here to us, because we all have been there. I promise you it will get better. Don't worry about giving yourself a timeline for grieving. I still cry. And it's ok, because I miss her just like you miss your Pablo. Much love to you.

Hi, pablosmom, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. Kristina has given you the most comforting words of reassurance that are also in my heart, so please read her words of comfort often.

As for me with my experiences, I was ever so thankful for the privacy of the restroom at work where I could retreat to regain my composure so that I could go back to my desk to resume my work. Not once or twice a day - - sometimes every 30 minutes. And then there were the drives into work and on the way home with gut-wrenching sobbing. Waking up in the middle of the night sobbing - - doing dishes and laundry sobbing.

Pablosmom, what you are going through is very normal grief. The tears you are crying are literally healing tears as they cleanse your body from the toxins that build up from the stress of grieving. Hopefully if you were to seek assistance with a professional counselor he / she would tell you this same thing. When we are grieving, there are many emotions that we struggle with - - sometimes from previous events in our lives that we thought were long resolved - - sometimes experiences that we didn't realize had affected us quite so deeply. And all of this bubbling around while we are struggling with the deepest sorrow we will know on this side of eternity - - adjusting our lives to the physical absence of our beloved companion. Grieving is not something anyone can "get over." The stress of grieving can cause chemical chenges in our brains that can result in depression. If you are concerned you may be experiencing clinical depression, seeking the assistance of a professional counselor might be helpful. But just because your husband seems to have "gotten over" his grief does not mean that there is something "wrong" with you. Please know we are here for you, pablosmom, for as long and as often as you need us. Each of us here truly do understand what you are going through.

Pablosmom, thank you again so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, pablosmom, and look forward to sharing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Pablosmom,
I am so sorry that you feel so sad. I get what you mean when it feels like others have moved on, but you haven't. I feel like I'm starting to obsess about Chester I think and talk about him a lot, when others don't even mention him. I think it is always the hardest for the people who felt the strongest emotional bond. To my family Chester was a great cat, but they didn't nearly have the bond with him that I did, and I think that is what it is like for you and Pablo. It is perfectly normal to be so sad, you can't make it go away, but rather express the sadness and like Moon Beam said you will feel better. I also can relate to thinking you can handle something, but you not being able to. I went to a pet store and just wanted to hold the kittens, but one of the tiny ones just looked up at me, and I got a little emotional, all I could think about was Chester. I don't think the bond ever goes away, but rather with time we stop crying when we think about them and start smiling. Pablo was a huge part of your life and he left gap behind, that will heal, but not instantly.
Just give it time because things will get better,
Chester'sMom