Hello everyone who has been kind enough to stop by and read when I had the Post."Maxi is dying". Many heartfelt thanks also to those of you who were able to write a loving, encouraging word to me.
Yesterday morning (Oct. 15th) I had an appointment to take my Max to the vet to be "put to sleep." Well, I wlke up next to him on the sofa, could not bear to leave the room Thursday night, and found him laying on the floor in front of me. He let out two sorrowful Meow's and I picked him up and wrapped him in a blanket. I sat with him, he was dying. I have never experienced anything like this. His crying, breathing hard, I kept stroking him telling him it was ok to go. We called the vet to ask if we could come right over. I ran to get dressed, and as soon as I came back and relieved my husband of the holding a dying cat, Maxi let out two more loud howls, and then his poor little body went limp. I have never felt such a hole in my heart. I had the feeling the night before that this may happen. Did not want to have to take him for the Euthinasia that morning. I guess he said goodbye to me on his terms, THANK GOD, and he crossed over to the happy place where kitties, puppies, and all the other furry pets we all may have, go.
I know that you all here can understand, I walk in circles, go out and stare at his grave, cry, cry and cry more. Just don't know what to do. Feel like everything here is different now. The other cats were in the room when he died, They are all acting different, of course.
That empty space here at home is just unbearable right now. I just want him to come home, not have cancer, meow to me, shed all over me.
It is amazing how such a little kittie leaving can make such a huge void in a house.
Love,
Suzanne

Dear Suzanne,
I am so sorry about Maxi leaving you. {{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}!!!
In a way though I am glad (as you are!) that you did not have to take Maxi out of his own home--he went to the rainbow bridge while being held by the people he loved--how wonderful!
I remember that "walking in circles" type of thing--what you have experienced is NUMBING. You have felt a gamit of emotions and your heart and mind have to do a little "decompressing" from all this stress--(hence the foggy feeling). Just go with the foggy feeling--it is normal and it too shall pass!
If you want a suggestion consider renting a bunch of movies to get your mind off of things (if you want a distraction). When Ginger died we went to the beach and walked a long way in one solid straight line. It was helpful. Of course I thought of him continually on that walk but it just helped to "do something".
My heart goes out to you my friend. For whatever reason God gave you Maxi and gave you to Maxi--it must be some sort of plan that we don't quite understand right now. Maybe later it will all make more sense. You were right there every step of the way for your beloved friend. He is free now--chasing butterflies with all our pals. Maxi is in the most perfect place--playing and young--just waiting for that day when you will be reunited. Hugs to you!!
Love
Patti

Hi Suzanne:

Your sweet, beloved Maxi passed away while you and your husband were able to hold and comfort him....

The very two people that Maxi loved most.......and, vice-versa......

Right now the pain that you are feeling is sooooooooo intense, you are doing exactly what you need/should be doing, and that is, "feeling"......
I think that most of us here know that "walking in circles", "feeling numb", "crying forever", and all of that is PERFECTLY normal.......

Your sweet, darling Maxi.............He is up at Rainbow's Bridge now.........and, I am sure that he is having a blast..... His
lovely body is young again.........he has no more pain.....He doesn't hurt.....And, I love to think of all are "animal babies", running free through the grassy fields, happily chasing one another, and catching butterflies on their lil' noses....
Maxi has MANY NEW FRIENDS, and they really are okay...........
One day, when it is "our time to leave this earth"........we will all be reunited.....

Our sweet "furbabies" are free again...........

I know that your beloved Maxi loved you and his daddy with all of his heart ........... And, he knew that it would be okay to go to Rainbow's Bridge, while he was at home, and being loved and comforted by you and your husband.....

God Bless you Both, Suzanne....
You'll be in my prayers.....

Love, Denise

Dear Suzanne,
I am truly sorry. Losing a loved one does leave an enormous hole in your heart. I remember not wanting to go home after our dog, Jordan died in May. The house was so very empty. I couldn't take it at first but it has slowly gotten better. I have hard days, (today is one) but the unbearable grief and pain have lessened.
Take care of yourself and know that we're all here for you.
Jordan's mom

Suzanne,

Im so sorry to hear about your Maxi, but I know you will get through this. It was only Wednesday that we lost our Dakota and I thought I would die from a broken heart the pain was so intense. Today is Sunday and although I still sit and look at his picture and ache in my heart for him, the pain is getting better. As someone said here, sometimes you will take 2 steps forward and then one back. You did the best for your baby and I hope and pray that you will be feeling better soon. Im so glad that he was able to go to heaven from home and that you were all together with him. I think my Dakota and all the other beautiful babies have greeted him in heaven and are playing with him now.

Please let us know how you are doing !

Colleen

Suzanne,

I'm so sorry about your huge huge loss. As the others said, it's comforting to know that he passed on at home, comforted by his Mommy and Daddy. Even though he cried out, he felt your love and it comforted him greatly.

For whatever reason, his body's time had come----but his spirit is in bliss now and you'll be together again! In the meantime, he is not far away. In the realm where he is now, I believe there's no concept of time or space and so he's actually still with you; you just can't see him.

The journey of grief has many waves, that's for sure. Let us know how you are doing!

Love,

Kathy

I know everything seems grey right now - but remember, the colours are all still there. Behind the tears.

I am, however, very glad that Maxi died at home from "natural" causes. Although I can only imagine the experience of having someone I love die in front of me - my heart aches at the thought of you going through it. How brave you were!!!

I can't wait, one day, to meet Maxi and all of our other friends wherever they are now...

Suzanne,
I'm so sorry for your loss of little Maxi.....he is at the Rainbow Bridge now - healthy once again and
you will be reunited together again one day. Your other kitties will need you now more than ever -
they will mourn Maxi's loss too.

My thoughts are with you all -

Love,
Karen

I am sorry for your huge loss. It is such a hard thing, losing a friend who gives such unconditional love. I hated going home after Oswald left me. He would always greet me at the door, and I miss it still.

Please accept my condolences.

Dee Dee

Suzanne im so so sorry for you beloves lost maxi is still thoroughly loved and no matter what they cannot change!!
Just belive maxi is witho you because he is once you belive things will be more clear.
My thoughta are with you! love jay

Hello all,

It is Tuesday October 19th. I was just able to get on the computer here at work and want to THANK ALL of you who wrote to me, who read the letter I posted last weekend, even those who did not have anything to write at this time...I can So relate. I got on this site on Sunday but was in so much denial about Max dying, sadness, anger..all the emotions, I had to shut off my computer at home and wait till now to write again.
Today I printed out some pictures of my "Buddy". Maxi seems so far away right now..I know that his spirit went to a happy place..funny thing, rather odd thing ha-ppened a few hours after i buried him Friday. It began puring rain, then within the hour a HUGE rainbow appeared over my backyard. I got pictures of it with my digital camera...I was in a state of shock. Just after being on this site for the past week, hearing about Rainbow's bridge, ect...I am looking at the pictures as I type to just remind myself that it happened. I found myself saying to Maxi...goodbye for now, see you soon"..when It is time for us to meet again.
Last night I felt so just plain old sad....it is starting to hit me that he is gone....I still feel numb...and have had thoughts that "Did this really happen"??
But everyone here is a TRUE ANGEL.
Thank you so very much,
I hope by tomorrow I can read others stories and give back some of the comfort that is being given to me...
God Bless you all,
And your babies,
Love,
Suzanne

Hi Suzanne:

Please, if you get a chance..................I would absolutely love to see a photo of that RAINBOW......

You, please...............take your time.....

We will all ALWAYS be here for you.....
Remember that, please....

Okay???

God Bless you....

Love, Denise

p.s. By writing, and sharing YOUR STORY, you are helping COUNTLESS OTHERS..... This site is a GIFT!!!!

Here is the picture that i took hours after i buried my beloved Maxi. I buried him next to his mother, Kimba..underneath a magnolia tree in my back yard. Hours later it started puring rain, then this rainbow appeared. I ran for the camera...got the picture. This says it all for me. It let me know that miracles do happen and that All of our babies will be ok.
Love to all,
Suzanne

Tried to laod the photo of the rainbow that appeared in my yard after burying my Maxi last Friday.....something went wrong on my end here....so sorry. Will try and shrink the photo and try again. Still new to this digital camera thing.
So sorry for the inconvenience. There really is a rainbow...hope to be able to show you all tomorrow.
Suzanne....Maxi's girl...sad again now....

Hi Suzanne:

From what I can see.......................It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!

Please, don't worry about the "camera thing"..................

I'm a "total illiterate" when it comes to computers, etc................

The Magnolia tree is much more beautiful than any Pine tree that I've seen in my Parking Lot (backyard.)...(8 miles West
of Boston...........................)

God Bless you, my Sweet Friend,

Love, Denise

Hi Suzanne:

From what I can see.......................It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!

Please, don't worry about the "camera thing"..................

I'm a "total illiterate" when it comes to computers, etc................

The Magnolia tree is much more beautiful than any Pine tree that I've seen in my Parking Lot (backyard.)...(8 miles West
of Boston...........................)

God Bless you, my Sweet Friend,

Love, Denise

p.s. I trust that all of our sweet furkids are doing just fine on the other side, at Rainbow's Bridge.... YOU HELPED TO CONFIRM THAT FOR ME................