My Dearest, Darling Trevor,

Only you knew when this day would come. Only you knew who it would be. Only you knew how grateful I would be and how I now love you more than ever!

Dreamer is the epitome of your Spirit. He is on the skinny side, so he gets to eat a bit more food. He loves to go on walks, likes to jump, is hungry every minute, and goes potty a LOT! I think he is probably an English C-o-c-k-e-r rather than an American, but his coloring is beautiful. He loves his new toys, but it's going to be a few days before he gets any marrow bones. And I was told to hold onto them just like you and I did!!!!!!! I haven't tried him sleeping in the crate yet, but I know you will help me with that, too.
Dreamer is about 2 - 3 years old and acts like it. You must have told him all about our house and how we fall for a pretty face so easily. He seems very comfortable right off the bat.
I'm tethering him like Cindy said and don't think it will take long to get him trained. You were a cinch.

Thank you so much, my wonderful little boy, the love of my life. Thank you for making me ecstatically happy when you and I were togther and thank you, now, for bringing life back into OUR house.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XOmommyXO

Dear Bobbie, I am so so happy for you and Dreamer!!! Trevor's paw is definitely at work here!! Leejaye

Trevor - You did GOOD, you wonderdog!! Thank you for giving back the light to your mom's and dad's life. XOXOXO Aunt Jeanne

So happy for you and Dreamer!

Congrats, on the new addition to your family. I know Trevor is so happy with his new little brother, and will be closely watching over him... and you.

Would love to see a pic if you're able.

I wish you and Dreamer a long and happy life together.

Cheryl x

Hi, Bobbie, adding my ecstatic congratulations on your new companion, Dreamer. You see, my friend - - your beloved Trevor and boys know what they're doing, and will continue to guide you and precious Dreamer through every moment of your earthly journey together. May you and Dreamer have a long, happy, and healthy journey together. Am looking forward to pictures, and sharing with you how you and your precious Dreamer are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh Bobbie..I have tears of joy for you! I hope you and Dreamer (love the name), have a long and healthy earthly journey together.

"You did good, Angel Trevor and we all love you and will remember you forever."

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Oh, THANK YOU everyone for your wonderful replies to our news about Dreamer!

As Moon Beam said, "...see your boys know what they are doing" and she is SO right.
And thank you LoveMyMickey, for reminding me that Trevor will never be forgotten. I think that is crucial to my eventual recovery.

Dreamer didn't sleep in his crate last night, like he was supposed to as part of his housetraining program. He jumped up on the bed and stayed there all night! He slept like a log and didn't get up until we woke him at 6:30 am. So far, no acidents in the house, but I'm starting to get tired of going outside all the time. Today I start increasing the length of time between potty vsits.

Trevor, we're coming to meet you today! I cannot wait to visit you! Thank you again, my sweet boy, for you continuing, unfailing love.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR! AND ALL YOU LIGHTNING STRIKERS!
XOmommyXO

Hi Bobbie

Trevor made you Dreamer come true! He IS 'a fella you can definitely trust'. Dream-y is already perfect!

Gretta's mom

Dear Lightning-Strike Friends,

Today was a different kind of difficult day for me. I suppose this is another "phase" in that grief journey. I didn't like it at all.

We took Dreamer out to th cemetery to meet all the boys. He promptly peed on Spot & Squirt's headstone. We went over and visited all the other boys, including Trevor, when Dreamer decided he wanted one of Trevor's dogs. I wasn't impressed or pleased and promptly put it back. Dreamer got the idea. We didn't stay long and soon left to do our round of shopping with Dreamer. First stop was Petsmart to get some Nylabones, etc.

The feeling started at PetSmart. Stan and I are having a difficult time not calling Dreamer, Trevor. They sound alike, have the same number of syllables, etc. Every time I started to say Dreamer's name, I immediately thought of Trevor and how I was feeling sort of disloyal to him and that made me sad. Trevor and Dreamer are such complete opposites in some ways: Dreamer is young and Trevor was not; Dreamer is full of energy and Trevor needed all the energy he could get from me; Trevor was patient and loving in such a mature, giving way and Dreamer just wants to be all over everything.

I miss Trevor as much as ever, but there is a slight change in exactly the depth of the pain and longing I've had for Trevor. And I feel that's not fair to Trevor. I feel Trevor "slipping away" a bit from me and that frightens me. Would someone mind setting me straight again? I'm not very good at this grieving "thing". I just miss him so very much.

Thanks....and GOOD NIGHT TREVOR!

"I suppose this is another "phase" in that grief journey. I miss Trevor as much as ever, but there is a slight change in exactly the depth of the pain and longing I've had for Trevor. And I feel that's not fair to Trevor. I feel Trevor "slipping away" a bit from me and that frightens me."

Hi, Bobbie, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me reassure you that Trevor is not slipping away from you. Yes, as your deep grief eases you will find a change - - for the better - - in your "transition" relationship with Trevor. Instead of being focused on your physical separation, you are beginning to focus on the ETERNAL BOND you and your beloved Trevor share. This is a GOOD THING, Bobbie - - for this is what your beloved Trevor wants you to focus on. He doesn't want you focusing on the grief pain - - he wants you focusing on the love that is forever in your heart and memories - - of the earthly journey you shared together and the eternal love that is forever yours. THIS is what keeps your beloved Trevor alive in your heart, Bobbie. The grief pain robs you of the joy you both shared during your beloved Trevor's earthly journey. The easing of the grief pain allows you to focus on this joy once again. Even though he may not always be in the forefront of your mind and thoughts, he is FOREVER in your heart and your memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you. I promise you, Bobbie, you will NEVER forget your beloved Trevor.

I can understand how Dreamer's name is close to Trevor's. But I assure you, Bobbie, that calling Dreamer by Trevor's name is normal. Heck, I was the youngest of 5 older siblings - - and my mom would do "roll call" sometimes before she finally got to my name when she wanted to talk to me. That point shared, there are times when I go to call Noah and sometimes call him by his big adopted kitty brother's name (Eli), and even sometimes his sister's (Abbygayle) - - both of which my little Noah takes in stride, bless his sweet precious heart. So, please don't think calling Dreamer by Trevor's name is dishonoring Trevor - - or Dreamer. It's a "human condition" - - and our companions - - those who are physically with us and those who are with the angels - - perfectly well understand. Perhaps you may want to consider giving Dreamer a new name - - for his new life with you. He's still a youngster and should learn a new name quickly. This is just a suggestion - - for whatever it's worth.

And speaking of Dreamer still being a youngster, welcome to the wonderful world of boundless energy. Dreamer is in a new environment - - totally -- so o o oo he's going to be into everything, exploring everything, and needing your reassurance that he is HOME. Since my Samson came to me as a puppy, I needed to teach him respect for his home, particularly when it came to chewing. My Samson had a very sensitive heart, so he learned quickly what was acceptable and what was not. My Oslo came to me already with his "good dog manners" intact, so there was very little "training" he needed. You and Dreamer are in a "getting to know you" phase - - which is a lifetime journey. You both have endured great losses, broken hearts, and it's just going to take time for you to find your new path TOGETHER. You will settle into a familiar routine together, and your beloved Trevor - - and all your beloved boys - - will be there sharing your and Dreamer's earthly journey with much joy and pride in their hearts.

So, let your heart and mind be at peace, Bobbie. All is well - - all is normal.

I hope today is being kind to you and your rascal Dreamer. Please know you and your precious Dreamer are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you both are doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Trevor and each of your boys.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Bobbie

Doesn't Moonbeam ALWAYS find exactly the words a person needs to hear at exactly the time they're needed. Of course I cried when she pointed out (about Dreamer) that

"You both have endured great losses, broken hearts"

It's so easy to forget this when a new family member joins us while we're still deep on our own grief. Thank you Moonbeam for reminding us that our "new furbabies" also have broken hearts when they come to us. (And here comes psychic Mr Rufus, who can always sense when I'm crying while typing and is about to stick his wet nose under my elbow and DEMAND that mom stop what's making her sad.)

Your sis

I don't know why I felt as if Trevor was slipping away from me the other day. He is not.

Today was a crushing day. I was reading another post, late this morning, with Dreamer sleeping right next to me, and a violent thunderstorm raging outside. My thoughts turned from the subject of the post to my Trevor. And that was the proverbial straw. I sobbed for what seemed like forever, with no relief in sight. I hurt like I haven't hurt since the exact moment Trevor died, maybe a bit more because the "first" time I could still touch his warm body and baby-soft fur. This time there was nothing.

My horrific grieving lasted about 2 hours. The chronic, demoralizing grief continues through this minute, into the next, and the next........

Dreamer is almost the "perfect" rescue dog. He must not have been away from his original home very long. And that's one additional thing that is hard for me to get my heart around. Trevor was far from "perfect" from the moment we met him. I loved who he was and what he was despite Trevor's "defects", which, to me. are not defects at all. He was perfect for me.

I think I am taking up too much of this Forum's time by continuing to talk about Trevor, his loss and my unending, unchanging grief. Some day, perhaps, these tears of sorrow and love will turn into tears of just love for the bravest little dog that ever lived.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR! I MISS YOU, MY LITTLE ONE.

Good Night.
Bobbie

Dear Bobbie, I am so sorry that the grief storms are still blowing in and hitting you for all they are worth - I promise, one day, the sun will come out for you, and you will be able to bask in the warmth of Trevor's love and life. Give that new Dreamer a pat for me my friend, sending you huge hugs Leejaye

Hi, Bobbie. I am so sorry that the grief slammed you full-on today. Please don't feel that you are "taking up too much of this Forum's time by continuing to talk about Trevor, his loss and [your] unending, unchanging grief." "Unending, unchanging grief" is such an accurate description for so many of us here, and I know that everyone here is more than happy to listen.

I think it's very normal for the grief to just whack you full-force when you least expect it. It's been three months since I lost Ollie and one year since I lost Dingo, and I still break down a lot. The most seemingly inconsequential thing can trigger your memory and open a floodgate of tears. Your sister mentioned in a very kind post to me that we hurt in proportion to our love. So I know you must have loved Trevor so, so much. I know the pain is horrible right now, but I continue to believe that the capacity to love that much is ultimately a great and special gift.

Hang in there, Bobbie. I think of you often and will keep you in my prayers. I am so sorry about everything you are going through right now.

Love,
Terri

Bobbie,
Please don't EVER feel you are taking up too much time by putting you feelings here on this forum! That's what we are here for! With all this gloomy weather we are having I've been pretty down myself, missing Kayla and not really up to posting or replying. Hopefully the sun will come out again soon, both literally and figuratively.
Love,
Shelby

Hi, Bobbie, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Leejaye, Terri, and Shelby have affirmed to you what is also in my heart, so please read their responses frequently. The deep grief can truly feel like we are in a bottomless black abyss - - falling deeper and deeper with no end in sight - - no light at the end of the tunnel to offer hope. Even people who profess a deep spiritual faith can be sorely tested by the unyielding seering pain of deepest sorrow we will know on this side of eternity.

This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum was established - - for people who know first hand the grief pain of the physical absence of a beloved companion to find comfort, encouragement, support, - - and - - HOPE - - with like minded and like spirited caregivers and guardians of God's non-human companions.

I firmly believe that your beloved Trevor and boys guided precious Dreamer to you to offer you comfort and a new "breath of life" into your heart, and I hope somehow YOU will come to know that this is what your beloved Trevor and boys want for you.

I wish I had easy answers for you, Bobbie, but I don't. I wish I could tell you "how long" your grief journey will last - - but I can't -- because each grief journey is as unique as our beloved companion who has transitioned to the angels. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship, which includes all my support, encouragement, and comfort - - for as long and as often as you want it, need it.

I hope you and Dreamer have had a decent day together, that each moment shared together will be a tribute to the eternal love you share with your beloved Trevor and boys. Please know you and Dreamer are in my thoughts and prayers, and am always here to share your treasured memories of your beloved Trevor - - and to try to comfort you in any way I can.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam