On Saturday i lost my baby boy Louis,a beautiful big Seal Point Birman,he had a pancreatic tumour and there was nothing that could be done,he was only 11.I have 6 other babies but Louis has always been my baby and loves me to hold him,he nuzzles me endlessly and we gaze into each others eyes,he has a song 'Close To You' by the Carpenters,i used to sing it to him and played it to him just before.I miss him so much and don't know how to get through the days without him,if i could be with him i would,how do you ever feel normal again.I just want to talk about him and tell the world about my special baby boy.

Hi, bubkins, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Louis. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

The question you ask is a universal one: "how do you ever feel normal again." Bubkins, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. The physical absence from our beloved companions is a very painful adjustment to make - - both emotionally and physically - - particularly during our deepest grief. A big part of this adjustment journey is re-defining our life into a "new normal" and every day right now is a piercing painful reminder that your beloved Louis no longer needs your physical attention. Even when we have other precious companions still with us, our hearts still need time to grieve the one who is no longer physically with us. And this is also true for your remaining companions, because their "pride" is now missing a very vital member, too.

To answer your question, bubkins, the only way to "feel normal again" is to take this grief adjustment journey one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, and to allow yourself the time you need to grieve the physical absence of your beloved Louis. We live in a physically oriented world - - taste, touch, hearing, seeing, and smell. While our beloved companions are with us, they continually "mark" us with their scent every time they rub up against us, kiss us, nuzzle us - - they are marking us with their scent to tell the world that we belong to them, and that they belong to us. When they precede us to the angels, our bodies go through an actual physical withdrawal - - a very painful withdrawal - - of not having this continued physical connection with them. Fortunately, we continue to be blessed by the eternal love bond that they shower on us through their undivided attention and unconditional love - - which in turn brings us to surrender the better part of ourselves to them without reservation. This love bond is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. And so, when they precede us to the angels we are blessed with their sweet Living Spirit which is forever with us in our hearts and memories. Nothing can ever take this away from us regardless of how much time passes as we continue in our earthly journey - - for they are always a heartbeat close to us.

"I just want to talk about him and tell the world about my special baby boy."

Bubkins, please do share with us about your beloved Louis, and we would be honored if you would like to share a picture(s) of him with us. Please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you and your fur tribe are going through - - the huge adjustment that is now in your lives to make - - and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Bubkins, thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Louis with us, and speaking for myself I hope you will find comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in what I share with you. Please know you and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, bubkins, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Bubkins

I am so sorry for the loss of your darling Baby Boy Louis, and I send you my heartfelt condolences. As Moonbeam said, we would love to hear more about your beloved boy and I look forward to seeing a picture of him, if you could post one.
I do hope that you can find some comfort here on this wonderful forum. The people here helped me so much when I came here almost two years ago, when I lost my Noushka.

Please know that I am thinking of you and your beloved Louis and your fur babies.

Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

Dear Bubkins, I am so so sorry for the loss of your Louis boy, I don't think I can add anything to the wise and kind words moon_beam has given you, except to say I really understand where you are at and my heart goes out to you - this grief journey is one day and one step at a time, please be gentle with yourself and your heart, and when you are ready please feel free to share your Louis' story and photos, come here whenever you need to, sending you some hugs today Leejaye

Dear Bubkins...I, too, am so sorry for your loss of your baby boy Louis. There's not much I can add to these kind ladies' words, but I just want you to know I am thinking of you.....I'm not sure if we ever feel normal again after losing our special baby. It takes time to even feel a little better. It's been 6 months since I lost my Mickey and I still get tears ever day....

Bubkins, you are in my thoughts and prayers....God Bless you...

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Dear Bubkins,

Everything these Lightning Strike friends have said is absolutely true. My Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) passed into the perfect World on April 10. I felt just like you feel now ... shell shocked ... as though my heart had been shot by a high powered rifle and I was bleeding all over. It was a full time job just breathing, eating (a little) and (trying to) sleep. Most of my days were filled with external or internal tears. It's one hour at a time .... then sometime it can become one day at a time and that's a big step.

Cry, scream, pound the couch, hold a soft pillow, curl up into fetal position .... anything it takes to keep on breathing. Ther may be, but I doubt if there is anything to be done that someone here on LS hasn't done during this horrible period. The first night after Gretta was gone, I took two of her snowsuits (she hated them but it's cold up here in MN) and velcroed them together to make a little pillow and slept with my head on that pillow for a couple of days. After about 3 days even that wasn't enough so I decided (I'm a solo, so it's easier to do stuff like this) to sleep on her dog bed. It's a big orthopedic one and I almost fit on it - except for feet sticking out.

We're with you all the way, Bubkins. And sometime, when you're ready, we're all e-ears to hear EVERYTHING about your Louis. He must be one very special cat to have selected you as his mom.

Hoping you can find at least a few minutes of rest tonight. Working while in agony is, well, agony. There were - are, even now, - many times when I borke out in tears at my desk. After a few days no one asked anything.

Your fur baby friend,

Gretta's mom

Dear Bubkins

Hust a visit from a friend wondering how you are and sending you some love and strength to use today. My Gretta has taken your Louis under her wing (dogs have wings?) a d they are both sending us - you and me - their happiness and love and they're receiving our love for them. In the Perfect World, feelings - especially love - are as tangible as what we here on earth call things we 'see" or "hear" or "touch." They fell our love exactly the same as they felt it while we could see them here. Please take a relaxing time out today and let yourself truly rest. We're always here for you on ao moment's notice.

In care and love,

Gretta's mom

Dear Gretta's Mom,it's so kind of you to see how i'm doing,to be honest i'm not really sure,i went back to work today for the 1st time and had real problems,my heart was pounding and i felt short of breath and kept onthinking 'what does Louis think of me being back at work and looking normal' i feel like i should just stay at home all the time and let Louis know that i am thinking about him 100n percent of the time,which i am,the place where i work is supposed to be haunted and some weird things have happened there and everytime i said Louis' name in my head the lights flickered!Glad to know that Gretta is looking after my boy,he actually grew up with a large and agressive German Shepherd but all the cats were in her pack so she wouldn't have dreamt of hurting them,Louis came to me as a tiny kitten and only ever knew being looked after,whether it was me,his big sister or any of the ex boyfriends and now that is what my boy still has so thank you to your baby for doing this.I am really sorry if i am rambling so i will wrap this up and once again thank you for your message,God Bless.***x

Dear bubkins, Louis knows you are just doing what you have to - going back to work and doing your best to keep breathing without him in your world, I don't know if he likes other cats but I can ask Mischief to keep an eye out for him too...you can be sure Louis is still watching out for you with those flickering lights, maybe it's his time to look after his mum? Sending enormous hugs Leejaye

Hi, bubkins, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I hope you will take comfort in what leejaye has shared with you. Your beloved Louis wants you to continue on your earthly journey, for he is now with you in real time sharing it just as you are. He no longer has to wait for you to come home from work or shopping or vacation or visiting friends / family, etc.. He is now with you wherever you go and whatever you do. As painful as it is, continuing with your earthly journey is now a tribute to the love bond you share with your beloved Louis. He is very proud of you, bubkins, and is eternally grateful to you for being his Forever Mom.

What you are going through right now is what I call "automatic pilot." Things get done, jobs get done, bills get paid, shopping gets done, etc., but it's as if we are doing it by remote control. This is normal, and it will last until your heart and mnid are ready and able to do more. Unfortunately this grief journey cannot be rushed, but it is very important for you to know we are here for you every step of the way.

Thank you for sharing with us how you're doing, bubkins. I hope you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Louis' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and am looking forward to knowing how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

So sorry about your precious baby Louis. He sounds like a sweetie.

Louis doesn't mind that you went back to work. He would want to see you going back to a normal life and eventually getting through the grieving and being happy because he loves you so much! He will not feel like you forgot him. He knows how much you love him and would never forget him.

Please accept my sympathy for your loss. I lost my Yorkie July 30th so this is very new to me too right now.

Hi Bubkins

Just stopping in to see how you are. Gretta gives me a good report about little Louis. EVERYBODY is taking care of him and having a great time doing it. Moonbeam is SO right about "automatic pilot". I call it "the robot walk". It seems you're just operating from the brain stem b/c the rest of your brain and heart are with Louis. And he's with you - just like before. Only thing is, he can see you but you can't see him - and that's what hurts. Louis is loving you and very proud of you. He's still guiding your steps. And most of all, the most special thing is his life is, as always, your love for him.

Keep "roboting" :)

Gretta's mom