My sweet baby Sophie was killed six months ago. Sophie was my best friend. A sweet little eight pound pomeranian who was my world. She was always with me; at work, camping, vacations, everywhere. On that horrible day, we were out in the backyard when I saw a large white dog across the street. I had a weird feeling about this dog and bent down to pick up Sophie and take her inside. Before I could stand up this large dog had me by the arm. It was a pit bull. I managed to make it to my porch about fifty feet away with the pit bull hanging on my right arm and Sophie in my left. I got the door open and tossed Sophie inside thinking she would be safe but the pit bull knocked me in the house and continued attacking me. I have several bites on my arms, legs, and on my stomach. I remember screaming and seeing Sophie about a foot away looking so scared. I was able to get back outside on the porch but the dog kept attacking me. Then I saw that Sophie had come back out on the porch too and was standing behind the pit bull. I thought that if I could get my arm out of my coat that would distract the pit bull long enough for me to grab Sophie. It didn't work. I got my arm out but as soon as the dog realized it didn't have me anymore it jumped up and went for my face. I screamed and Sophie bite the 75 pound pit bull on the leg. The monster instantly dropped me and grabbed my baby. It ran down the steps with Sophie in its mouth. Sophie was looking at me. I ran down the steps and started kicking and beating the dog trying to get my Sophie. My neighbor heard my screams and came running to help. We both tried to get it to let go of Sophie but it just kept hurting her. When my neighbor realized that Sophie was dead she dragged me in the house. She knew that the dog would turn back on us. I saw this monster brutilize my sweet puppy until the police arrived. The pit bull came after the police as soon as they entered the backyard. It took 13 bullets to stop this dog. It was on the attack until its heart stopped. Sophie was dead. I didn't protect her. I was rushed to the hospital for all my injuries. I have permanent nerve damage, horrible scars, vein damage, and PTSD but all of this would have been ok if only I saved Sophie. I can't stop the feelings of guilt. She would have been ok if I hadn't screamed that last time. I miss her so badly. She was my world. She's gone.

What a horrific experience to have to endure. My heart goes out to you on the loss of your baby and the trauma you have suffered.

I know that the kind of raw emotions this kind of thing brings up don't listen to reason. But it is not your fault for screaming. You can't help the instinct in a moment of terror. Besides, you went after the attacker with courage to save your baby, where many of us would have frozen up with fear.

Sophie did such a noble thing by going after a dog 10 times her size. I hope that in time you can learn to look on the nobility of what she did without beating yourself up with guilt.

There are a lot of compassionate people on this site who can offer words of support and understanding. I hope you are also getting help from a professional with your PTSD, because what you have lived through is something that anybody would need some help in recovering some semblance of a normal life.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Peace,
Chris

Hello Sophie's mom

My heart breaks for you having to watch and endure that ungodly horrible experience. I can't imagine anything worse. Please know that my heart is completely with you as you try to live through this. This site is absolutely the right place to be. All the people here have compassionate hearts that are ready to give everything we have to a friend in trouble. One of the most helpful people here is Moon Beam. I'm sure you'll be hearing from her soon. She has some wonderful information about post-traumatic stress - which is yours in the extreme. Sophie's mom, you risked your life for your baby against a situation which took 13 bullets to end. There is nothing, NOTHING more a mother can do.

For now, your full time job is to breathe. I'm serious. For the next five days, that is all you have to do. Wrap yourself up in a blanket and just keep yourself alive. Sleep to pass the minutes, because it is a million minutes that will bring you through. Please do not do this alone. A horribly traumatic event like this may well require professional help. It is exactly like this happening to a human child.

If you have a friend, family member or neighbor (like the one who tossed you back in the house), reach out for help - even if all you do is make a call sobbing. And please, if it helps you, write to your Lightning Strike family. We're all shocked at this crime and we're all here with shoulders to cry on and hearts to love you.

Please let us know when you make it to noon today. And then again in the evening - and in the middle of the night when it's the worst. Plenty of us are here even then.

Sophie's mom - here's a flower for you and a donation in Sophie's name to the National Pomeranian Rescue in Sophie's name.

May God bless you and protect you today.

Gretta's mom

Sophie's Mom,

My heart is breaking for you right now. I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling having witnessed such a traumatic event. I wish there was some way that I could make you believe that YOU DID EVERYTHING, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, YOU COULD to save your baby girl. You put your own life on the line for her -- what more could you have done? Your Sophie is so very grateful that you tried your best to save her. She wants you to know that it's not your fault. She's in a wonderful place now, where she will never, ever again, have to know any suffering. She's surrounded by all our fur-babies, and they are all watching out for her, and for you.

Sophie, you're not alone during this terrible heartache. As Gretta's Mom said, we're all here for you, whenever you need us. Whenever you need to talk just post here, and someone will get back to you as soon as possible. Gretta's Mom has also offered some wonderful advice -- about just concentrating on breathing, and doing whatever you need to do to survive. I know every single breath you take hurts right now. But just keep breathing. You will get there.

Thinking of you, and praying for you.

Cheryl xx

Oh Sophie's Mom....I can hardly see through these tears. I am so heartbroken for you. That was such a horrible experience to go through. Please don't feel guilty, I would have screamed my head off in that situation. You did all you could and sweet little Sophie knows that.
There's not much I can say to help you feel better, but I want you to know how sorry I am and that you are in my thoughts and prayers......May God Bless you and comfort you.

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

My dear, dear Sophie's mom.

Please accept my deepest sympathy and sorrow for the loss of your darling Sophie. The scene you describe is terrible beyond words. At the same time, I see all the love and devotion you have for Sophie, defending her and putting yourself in harm's way to rescue her. You did for Sophie, what each of us moms hope never comes our way, and you did it courageously and with absolute love in your heart for Sophie. My heart goes out to you and Sophie. The end result for Sophie, however, can be seen as a sort of blessing. Although she is no longer with you physically, she is not suffering any pain or fear now or ever again. Her world is now one of peace, love, joy, health and friendship. She is surrounded and supported by every animal that has made it to that Heavenly World beyond the Rainbow Bridge.

It is our time (everyone on the L-S site) to support you for as long as you need/want us. We are all here for you 24/7 to listen, to cry, to comment, to smile, to hold you up when nothing else can. We are here to be your strength for now. You must deal with both your own physical and emotional wounds, as well as the enormous loss of your sweetheart Sophie. I have recently lost my beloved Trevor and am very slowly making my way down the pathway of recovery. Our losses are not the same, but our hearts love our dogs the same way. I will understand whatever you say because it is from your heart and your soul and that is what is the most important of all.

Sophie's loss was simply awful. Recovernig from such incredible trauma may take what seems like an eternity. But, I think your "job" for now is to regain the strength you can, both physically and emotionally (with whatever help is available to you - professional, pet loss counselors, etc.). Once you have enough strength, then the itty bitty baby steps we take to resolve the loss of our most special loved one can begin. Until then, and especially then, every one of us Lightning-Strikers are on your side and with you every minute of every day.

Peace be with you, Sophie's wonderful mom! Please let us know how you are doing. I'll be checking in frequently, too. Usually, I don't do this, but I will be sending in a donation in Sophie's memory to a local, small organization called Alley Animals. I'll let you know when I get their reply.

Blessings to you........................
Bobbie (Trevor's mom)

Oh Sophie's mom,

I am so sorry that you had to experience this terrible situation and lose your beloved Sophie all in the same moments. My heart is breaking for you and I find myself in tears reading your story. I'm so glad you found this forum. There are so many people here that will help you through this. I know no words I can write can take away your agony, but please know that you were very brave and did everything in your power to protect your baby. What a brave little girl she was to stand up to that dog. Both of you obviously had a strong bond with each other. I hope your physical and emotional pain can heal as fast as possible, but take it slow and easy. This is not an easy journey for anyone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love to you.

Cinder's Mama

Hi, Sophies mom, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Sophie. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing your beloved Sophie so tragically most certainly intensifies your grief.

Sophies mom, Chris, Gretta's Mom, Cheryl, and LoveMyMickey have shared everything that I would hope to be able to say in an attempt to offer you some comfort, so please read their responses to you often. I wish I could turn back the clock for you so that you could still have your beloved Sophie with you, but that is not within my power. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship, and adding my strength to our forum friends to help you in your grief journey. Please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Because of different circumstances I do know what it is like to live with PTSD and Survivor's Guilt, and physical challenges from severe injuries. Each day continues to be a victory for me, (post-trauma soon to be 26 years) and I know it is a victory not of my own making but one of faith, and the compassion that was extended to me by a very caring professional counselor who helped me through the deepest darkness and depression I never really knew existed before. As Gretta's mom has already shared with you, I support her encouragement: If you have not already considered seeking professional counseling, you may want to give it a try. And if you have received counseling but felt it had failed you, (been there, too), please try again. Not all counselors are the same, and not all counselors have the specialized training in PTSD. So I would encourage you to give counseling a serious consideration as an option to help you.

Sophies mom, thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Sophie with us. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. And again, Sophies mom, please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step you take in your journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Sophie's mom

Have you made it to the evening? If so, you've done something heroic - and exhausting. Now your job is just to eat a little something, gather up all Sophie's soft toys and blankets, wrap yourself up in her love and sleep. Of course there will be very few moments when tears will not be falling. These are tears of sadness but also of anger. Most of us here are only dealing with the sadness of separation. You, dear Sophie's mom, must be dealing with the rage at this awful thing happening. If you feel like shrieking, go ahead and shriek. Beat on pillows. Curse the world. It's all OK. You're surrounded by love - the love of your LS family who are reeling along with you at this unspeakable event - and the love of all our separated animals who are gathering around you Sophie like we are gathering around you and joining with her to send all their love and strength to you. They've "made it" to the Perfect World, a place my vet called a "safe place now." We, your brothers and sisters in grief, will also surround you with love and strength, too, so that you may take this horror one tiny moment at a time.

Nightime is the hardest time for some of us. For others of us, like me, exhausted by grief, sleep comes as a sweet respite. Someone will be here for you 24/7, Sophie's mom. It's a promise.

Until then or until tomorrow morning, peace and love to you, my friend.

Gretta's mom

Dear Sophie's mom,
I want to add my condolences as well. I am so gald you found this site. It is a life saver. I think you said Sophie died 6 months ago. How have you managed the 6 months? I can only hope you have a very supportive circle of family and friends who understand the loss of a fur child. Too many people minimize the loss of a pet and then we feel we cannot talk to them about our grief. All of us here understand.

I can't imagine going through what you did both physically and mentally. I hope the owner of the pit bull was charged with not confining his dog. That won't bring Sophie back or heal your injuries but that owner was totally irresponsbile allowing the dog to get loose.

Everyone before me has tried to reassure you that you did everything humanly possible to protect Sophie and she to protect you. Thankfully you were not killed. Sophie is watching over you and also grateful that you survived and that she was able to try to save you.

Please keep posting here.

Dear Sophie's Mom,

Stopping by, kind of late at night, to give you some words of love and support. Gretta's mom is my sister and she comes up with some pretty good ideas. But I know you also have your own ways of surviving, coping and continuing to adore your Sophie. We all think the world of Sophie and how brave she was, too. She will never be forgotten.

I wish you a restful night's sleep with Sophie sleeping right in your heart along with you. we'll see you in the morning and keep watch through the night as well.

Blessings to you and Sophie.................
Bobbie

Good morning Sophie's mom

A morning wish for you for a day with moments of peace and comfort. Know that Sophie is, in the words of my vet (the ultimate man of science), in a safe place now. We're with you and each of us is giving you a little bit of strength and caring.

Gretta's mom

Good Evening, Sophie's mom,

I have been thinking about you and Sopie all day, even told your story to some friends who all send their condolences. How are you doing today? I'm sure that your best friend is watching you every minute and telling everyone she now knows how wonderful you really are and that she wishes you wouldn't be so sad. But we're stuck here on earth and that's the hardest part. I told Trevor and the guys about Sophie today when I was at the cemetery and told them to keep an eye out for her and be extra gentle to her. I know they will.

Is there anything I can do for you over these airwaves? Please know that I am here for you at any time, as are everyone else on this site. You are a very brave, courageous and special person to continue on every single day. We all will give ypu whatever assistance, encouragement, etc. you need. See, we stick like glue (in a good way).

Wishing you a restful night and a sun filled tomorrow. Always remembering Sophie and you!

Bobbie

Dear Sophie's Mom, I have been without a computer for a few days and just saw your post - I am so devastated for you, I can't even begin to imagine the painful scar tissue this tragic event has left you with, you and Sophie are so brave and courageous, please don't feel guilty, your Sophie knows what you did to try to save her - she is loving you as much this minute as she did when she was physically with you. Sending you the biggest hugs I can and a prayer for the pain to ease, take care Leejaye

Hello Sophie's mom

Just stopping by to say hello and hope you could find a few little bits of peace today. Always treasure Sophie in your heart - you two have exchanged pieces of heart so now you have a piece of hers and she has a piece of yours. The horrible part is over now. Eternity stretches before you and beautiful Sophie .... she's made it to the Perfect World and someday you will to .... never again to be parted from Ms. Sophie. Have a restful night if you can.

Gretta's mom

Thank you all so much for your kindness and concern for me. I can't begin to tell you how much it helps. I have read these messages over and over and have been crying like a baby. What has touched me the most is that everyone remembers my Sophie in their thoughts. I have been told by alot of people that Sophie is gone but now "it should be about me". Most people just don't understand the love that we have for our animals. For me, it is all about Sophie. I would be fine if she was in my lap while I recover from injuries. I will get back to you all again. Right now it is just so hard. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are all such special people.

Good morning Sophie's mom

Of course we remember your Sophie in our thoughts! Our animals are our "other-halves" - Moon beam says that we have exchanged parts of our souls - we hold a part of theirs and they hold a part of ours. Once we have done that, it can never just be about us. Yes, we love and support each other during the horrible sadness that their passing into the Perfect World causes us. Some of us were fortunate enough to have that happen in ordinary circumstances. You have a million-fold greater grief because of the horrible incident that tookk your Sophie into the Perfect World.

Crying like a baby, oh yeah. And feeling like we can't do it in public places like work because others who have not had the blessing of meeting and living with and loving and being loved by their Special One think we should be "over it." We know that once we have exchanged souls, there's no "over it." Love is forever - in both directions. And love is infinite. Greater love than this no man has than to lay down his life for a friend. Who is a better friend to you than Ms Sophie? And how close did you come to giving up your life for her? You are a hero of the first kind, Sophie's mom.

No matter how loudly or how long we cry, our Lightning Strike friends are here - and we understand each other in ways that the "not-yet-befriended" cannot.

Keep putting one foot ahead of the other, Soohie's mom, knowing that all the while Ms Sophie is watching over you and loving you and guiding you and whispering her sweet nothings into your ear, exactly as she always was - you just can't see her - and that's what hurts.

have the best day possible, Sophie.s mom.

Gretta's mom

"I have been told by alot of people that Sophie is gone but now "it should be about me". Most people just don't understand the love that we have for our animals. For me, it is all about Sophie."

Hi, sophies mom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Most people don't understand what it is like to "physically survive" a traumatic event that involves the physical loss of a loved one - - whatever the life form. For different reasons I do, and so I do totally understand a lot of what you are feeling, the deep anger and frustration, and deep, deep sorrow that you couldn't do anything to save your beloved Sophie - - and how this haunts your heart and soul. Your life is now changed forever while a part of your life is forever frozen in the horror of the attack that led to your beloved Sophie laying down her life for you.

I truly wish there were some golden words I could share with you that could turn back the hands of time to that horrific day for you so that you and your beloved Sophie could still be together on this side of eternity happy and healthy. But I do not have that power. All I have to offer you is my sincerest friendship and the promise that I am here with you, for you, and beside you through every step of both your grief journey and your physical recovery - - along with all of our wonderful forum friends.

Sophies mom, I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Good Evening Sophie's Mom,

Want to say hello and see how you are doing. Oh! This is such a slow, agonizing process isn't it? I hope today was even just an itty bitty bit easier for you. My Trevor has been gone now for only 4 weeks and 1 day and it seems both like an eternity and a split second loss. Please know that there are very few, if any, that I know of, RULES of grieving for you animal soul mate. None. No one can walk in your shoes because they didn't live with and love Sophie like you did, they didn't experience the horrible trauma you had both physically and emotionally for Sophie and yourself. They just don't know. So, my advice when you come across those types of insensitive and truly ignorant words is to literally try to dismiss them from you mind ASAP and walk away! Only YOU know what works for you in this whole survivor process: crying, sighing, thinking, talking, walking, writing reading, screaming, tantrums, etc. We are all as uniques as our companions were & are and so it only makes sense that our grief process will be unique, too.

I still cry, sleep with Trevor's picture, piece of his blanket and a potty pad hugged to me every night, and go to the cemetery every day to vsit him and then my other boys bured there. Trevor has 13 beanie baby dogs aurrounding his grave to keep him company and guard him as well. I don't cremate my boys, they are all together in a beautiful pet cemetery run by a no-kill private Humane Society.

But I am here for you and Sophie, not me. And we're always going to remember Sophie and the brave little girl she was and the loving heavenly girl she is now. Please say hello to her from me and tell her to look for a small group of mostly C spaniels and they'll probably be mine. She'll like them and they are keeping an eye out for her, too.

Sleep well, my friend.
Bobbie

What an awful thing to endure--I'm not sure I would've survived it emotionally myself. May you find peace in knowing she knew you were trying to save her and felt your love until the end--the only thing that truly matters: the love you and Sophie share.

Hi Sophie's mom

Stopped by to see how you are doing. In addition to losing Sophie I know you were also injured. I hope that your physical injuries will heal soon and completely. I have thought about you every day and cannot imagine what you went through. My neighbor told me yesterday that while he was walking his dog, also named Sophie, a pit bull in our neighborhool broke off his leash and came after him and his small dog. Luckily he was able to deflect the dog until the owner got him back on leash. I am sorry your story did not have the same ending.

Please write and let us know how you are doing when you feel up to it. Know that we are all concerned about you and praying that Sophie is "resting in the arms of the angels"

Joanne