Hello Everybody,

I'm a 27 year old girl from Sydney, Australia and I'm crying as i'm writing this.

I had to have my beautiful 17 year old Maltese cross Pomeranian dog Daisy put down just over a week a go.

The vet advised she had inflammation of the brain and vestibular syndrome. She had also lost control of her bladder, and on the day we called the vet to our house to put her down, she couldn't walk and was crying and whimpering as if she was in pain. She went downhill very quickly over the space of a few weeks, so it all came as a bit of a shock.

I held her in my arms while the vet gave her the injections. It was not a very nice experience, as my poor little girl was terrified when the needle went in to the back of her neck to sedate her. She yelped extremely loudly, and tried to bite me. Although instantly she stopped trying to bite, and started licking me.

Daisy was my best friend, my love, a huuuuge part of my life. I haven't worked much in the past year, and have spent more time with Daisy than anyone else. We were "joined at the hip" as my Mum often commented. My heart is broken, and I just can't stop crying. The pain is getting worse with each day that passes, and the thought that I won't see her again is just unbearable.

I'm so upset I can't concentrate on anything, and to make matters worse I have many assignments due at University.

I find a lot of people don't understand what i'm going through, and think I should be over it already because she was "just a dog".

I try and focus on the fact that she had a long, wonderful life that was filled with love, and also that she's not in pain anymore. However, this doesn't take the pain of her absence away. I miss her terribly, and I'm just not coping. My house feels so lonely and cold without her. I just don't know how I'm going to get through life without her.

Lauren

Hi, Lauren, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Daisy. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - -so that they can once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Lauren, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You are in deep grief, and this is very painful - - both physically and emotionally. When we embrace our beloved companions into our hearts and home our lives are changed for the better. When they precede us to the angels our lives change again. This time, however, we are blessed with their eternal love - - for love is not bound by the physical laws of time and space. We are blessed with their sweet Living Spirits in our hearts and memories, and they continue to share our earthly journey just as they always have and always will. But I know this does not heal the piercing pain in your heart, Lauren - - the piercing pain of not being able to hold your precious Daisy in your arms, of not being able to look deeply into her beautiful soulful eyes, of not being able to hear her voice and noises, of not being able to smell her fur. We live in a physical world based on the senses of sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Every time they kiss us, every time they rub up against us they are imprinting themselves onto us telling everyone that we belong to them. And the transference is also reveresed - - every time they kiss us, rub up against us, touch us they are taking a part of our "scent" on their physical bodies as well. This is one of the many reasons why it is so very painful for us - - both physically and emotionally - - when they precede us to the angels.

This grief journey is not one of "getting over" or "getting used to" or "moving on beyond" the physical absence of our beloved companions. It is one of ADJUSTMENT WITHOUT the PHYSICAL PRESENCE of our beloved companions, and it is an adjustment that can only be accomplished one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. This grief adjustment journey is often referred to as a horror roller coaster ride because we can find ourselves overwhelmed all at once with all the grief emotions.

Many people cannot - - and will not - - understand the deep bond that forms between us and our beloved companions. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation. With our beloved companions there is no fear of being rejected or having to live up to someone else's ideas of what we "should do" or "should be." So when someone who is totally clueless says, "It's only a . . .. " it is very, very painful.

I assure you, Lauren, that each of us here DO understand what you are going through and what you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. There is no need to put on a "public face" here - - you are among friends here, Lauren - - always.

Lauren, thank you so much for sharing your precious Daisy with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to posting a picture of your precious Daisy with us - - if / when you wish to.

Lauren, I hope that what I have shared with you will bring some comfort to your heart. I know right now there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the piercing pain in your heart, but I assure you one day - - when you least expect it, you will find yourself thinking of your precious Daisy and find yourself smiling. This is what your precious Daisy wants for you, and your heart will be filled once again with joy.

Lauren, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Lauren

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Daisy. Please accept my heart felt condolences and know that I am thinking of you at this very sad time.

It is so clear to see that your Daisy is such an important part of your life, and she will continue to be so. The last thing that she would want would be for you to be suffering. All the love and joy that you shared will be with you forever.
I know the physical loss of our beloved companions seems to be unbearable, but for their sakes we must carry on, and remember how much we are blessed by being honoured with the privilege of sharing our lives with them.
Please let us know how you are and maybe you could tell us more about your Daisy, even post a photo, when you feel able.

Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Dear Lauren,

I am so heartbroken for you. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Daisy. I feel your pain, we lost our Maltese/Pekingese boy, Mickey, Feb. 22, 2011 of heart failure. (My story is a few threads below.) I still get tears everyday and talk to him, but I can also think of the cute funny things he did and the things we did together.

I just love the little Maltese and Maltese mixes. I would love to see a picture of your sweet Daisy when you feel up to it. Also let us know how you are doing.

Lauren, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you.

LoveMyMickey

Dear Lauren

I'm so sorry for the passing of your dear Ms Daisy. It's one of the worst experiences in this life. And you're having to go through it at such a young age. Please accept my sincere condolences. I'm a little farther along the lonely road - I lost my Gretta girl (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) on April 10. Like you, for the first couple of weeks I was like a robot - a crying robot. Someone (I've forgotten who) wrote a post/thread called "I will cry." It's too heartbreaking for you to read right now, but in a week or so you might like to read it. Of course, you'll flood the world with tears, but it will express the shredded heart, I'm-just-an-empty-shell feelings we have at this time.

One thing I discovered in this group is that we're not typical people. We're people who have been visited by our spirit animals - those whose souls are the other half of our own. Aminal souls and human souls are all the same 'stuff.' just think - our one and only soul-animal search the universe over for THEIR one and only other-half soul. When, against impossible odds, they found us, they put themselves in our paths so we'd notice - really notice - them and in doing so fall instantly in love - because they are our other halves. Very few people have the miracle of living and loving their one-and-only animal. Thousands of times greated than our love for them is THEIR love for us. They've come to open our hearts, to guide us, to watch over us, to gently teach us some life lessons - just by being. Whoever made the universe made our animal-halves' time on this earth much shorter than ours. And that HURTS - more than anything else imaginable.

The first few weeks are one shock after another. All those "first times" and "last year at this time" and "if only's" - each one knocking us to our knees. We're called upon to ASK FOR soul burning agony by releasing them from their (as one LS friend put it) broken shells. In proportion as we love them and they love us, we will suffer unbearable pain when they go on before us to the perfect world.

Please don't feel bad about doing some things out of grief that other people, who have not had the joy of two souls uniting, might think strange. During the first two days after Gretta passed, I walked about 10 miles singing made-up words about her to old folk and country/western songs. I also took two of her snowsuits (which she hated) and velcroed them together to make a kind of pillow, which I slept with and cried into for many a night. Know that your Daisy is somewhere safe, warm, joyful and is watching over you the same as she did when you could see her and touch her. I know that my Gretta has found her and they are bragging about their respective mothers.

One thing you know for sure - that you are not alone. All of us here at Lightning Strike are with you - any time, all the time. It's like the old saying that alone each of us is a small twig - easily broken - but together we are strong and will endure.

Welcome to our family.

Gretta's mom

Hi, Lauren. I am brand-new here, but I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am about Daisy and that I understand exactly how you feel. I had to put my best friend kitty of sixteen years to sleep two days ago, and I'm an absolute wreck. I am a stay-at-home-mom, and Ollie slept tucked under my arm every night, so I basically spent pretty much every waking and non-waking hour with him. His absence is overwhelming, and just when I think I've cried so much I can't possibly have any tears left, still more tears keep falling.

I'm so sorry that I don't have any helpful advice to give, but I wanted to let you know that there are others out there who care about you and totally understand what you're going through. My heart is breaking for both of us. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Terri

Good morning, Lauren

Just a wish for some little bits of relief (they only last a second) for you today. No one can describe the shock of all the emptiness you see around you. It catches you by surprise every time. Know that your Ollie is up and at 'em - playing with all her LS friends (even getting along with cats and NOT running rabbits by the mile!) - but most important, watching over you, guiding you, loving you, wishing the best for you. Ollie understands that sacrifice you made and the pain you voluntarily took on to give Your Ollie some sweet relief. People say that in those first days, sometimes out-of-this-world animals give us some kind of sign that they're OK - sometimes not. But they're there nonetheless. You will make it - even though it doesn't seem that way right now. We, your Lighting Strike friends will be with you all the way. (And, BTW, I think it was my Gretta who led me here and your Ollie that did the same thing for you.)

Peace,

Gretta's mom

Oh my goodness, Lauren. I am SO sorry for mixing up the name of Ms Daisy. Please excuse my awful lapse.

Gretta's mom

Hi, Lauren. Just wanted to check on you to see how you're doing - just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope you're doing okay. You don't have to reply or anything - just wanted to let you know that everybody cares.

Love,
Terri

Hello Lauren,

Just a short note to ask how you are doing and to wish you some peace and relief.

Gretta's mom