Well it all started about a year, my then 11 year old female Dalmatian got sick. She to this day has not formally been diagnosed. She lost all this weight, because really finicky, improper bowel habits and so forth. She never gained the weight back....she is very thin and frail.

She is still with us; however, declined a bit more as the weeks and months pass. I don't even want to think about putting her down, but I know it is coming. She is my baby and I thought she would be with me through this next very big step in my life (my husband and I are moving/relocating) but, it will not be fair to her either getting uprooted and in new unfamiliar surroundings.

She is not getting any better. Nothing used to phase her but now she gets sick more frequently and there is a definite decrease in energy. I will be a wreck when the day comes...and it is coming sooner than later.

Hello Nicole's mommy

I'm very sorry to hear that you are in one of the most difficult places of all - anticipatory grief. Nicole sounds like such a special being. She's been your special friend and soul mate for many years. And now your heart is breaking because you sense that it is near the time when she will pass over into the perfect world - before you. I've only had one dog as an adult (Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived). I had to make the horrible decision on April 10. The people on this site have been - literally - lifesavers. Your Nicole needs you now and you need her - more than ever before. You know how she beams her love to you just by being there? Well, you do the same to her. A loving touch, a smooch, a soft word. They nourish her spirit. I know I don't have to tell you to treasure every moment with her. Take lost of pictures (I didn't and regret it a lot). But mostly just be there for each other.

These special spirit animals are related to us on a very deep level - they are our soul's other half. These soul-animals and our souls are the same stuff. Our spirit animal has found us - out of all the the billions of people in the world - found us and put themselves in our path. We instantly recognized them and feel in love. A counselor at the vet school where Gretta spent her last night on earth told me that animals choose their entrances and exits. I think she's right. Whoever made this universe made our spirit aminals' life-on-earth spanns much shorter than ours. This puts us through the extreme forging of souls by having to release them because we love them. It's like the supremest sacrifice, the greatest love there ever could be. Because we love them so much - and have been loved even more by them - we knowingly shred our hearts so that they don't have to suffer. So that they can go to the perfect world where they're always young, always warm, always well-fed, always happy - and always loving and guiding us just like they did when we could see and touch them.

Nicole's mom, please keep in touch as you go through this gut-wrenching experience. We've all been through it and we KNOW how much and how long it shreds our hearts. But we're like the proverbial bunch of twigs - any one of us can be easily broken but together we're strong and we lift each other up when others are torn down. Thank you so much for coming here, Nicole's mommy. We're here for you and we care, really, understandingly care.

Please give Nicole a head pat from me and one from Gretta and hold Nicole gently tonight.

Take care.

Gretta's mom

Hi, Nicole's Mommy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in this Anticipatory Grief journey you and your precious Nicole are traveling. Anticipatory Grief is very hard because our hearts still cling to the adage "where there's life there's hope" - - hope that somehow a miracle will happen that will allow us to keep our beloved companions physically with us just one more minute, one more day, one more hour - - one more lifetime. It doesn't matter how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company - - adjusting to their physical absence - - adjusting to the mere thought of being without their physical presence - - is very painful both emotionally and physically.

You mentioned she is having improper bowel habits - - have you ever heard anything in her treatment of her having Canine Crohn's Disease or Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Has she ever been on Prednisone, and if so, has this helped her? No, I'm not a vet or a licensed vet tech. My first canine companion had CCD which was controlled by a maintenance dose of Prednisone. Of course the long term use of the Pred along with the CCD eventually took their toll. But I was just wondering if this was ever mentioned to you. Unfortunately there can be many symptoms that resemble many different illnesses, and sometimes all the tests in the world cannot pinpoint the "smoking gun" that can lead to an effective diagnosis and treatment. The only way my Samson's CCD was diagnosed was when I told his vet how well he did with the Pred and when it was stopped his symptoms returned. From that point forward my Samson remained on the Pred. All the GI tests that the vet had done to that point in time showed no significant irregularities. So I do understand your frustration and my heart aches for what you are now facing at this time of your journey with your precious Nicole.

Cherish each day that you have with your precious Nicole - - as I know you are already doing, and don't be afraid to share your heartfelt sorrow at the prospects of having to lose her precious physical presence with you. She knows your heart, and it's okay to share your feelings with her. When the times comes to ease her journey to the angels you will know, and you will find the strength and courage to help her. Easing our beloved companions' journey to the angels is the last gift of love we can give to them at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be healed and restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

One of the most important things for you to remember is that you are not alone - - not ever. You are among friends here who do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you and your precious Nicole are in my thoughts and prayers, Nicole's Mommy, and please do let us know how things are going for you both.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Good morning Nicole's mommy

Just wanted you to know that I care and am sending a little strength your way today. How's the precious baby today? Take all the time you can just sitting by her and petting her if she'll let you. You both need it - and I think you're both scared and sad - and there are words that need to be said by both of you. I'll bet you will be able to hear her tiny voice telling you how much she loves you and thanking you for the wonderful life you've given her. And reassuring you that you WILL be alright and that someday both of you will be together in a perfect World.

We're all here for you, Nicole's mommy. I sure most of us cry as we write because we miss our spirit animals SO much. But we know we're strong and we know we have friends here. Our soul-mates sent up to this site (out of the billions of sites there are in the ether).

Have the best day possible, Nicole's mommy.

Gretta's mom

Sorry to hear about Nicole--all of here know it is never easy---as others have said--spend as much time as you can with her---I always had my "babies"cremated and brought them back home--it seemed to make it a little easier--

Here a hug for both of you---

Hello Nicole's mom

Oh, that quote from John Galworthy goes straight to all of our hearts.

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“Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives..." John Galworthy

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But they don't really go away. As my vet (who is the ultimate man of science) said when he heard about the passing of my Gretta on April 10, "She's in a safe place now." And that's true. There's a perfect World waiting for all of us - where we will be together again - forever this time. There'll be no sickness, no crying, no lonliness, no parting -- just perfect love and happiness.

Gretta was/is my first dog and it just about killed me when she passed. One thing I did was order the pillow that is advertised on this site. It's pricey, but it made a difference to me. It's something to hold and hug and cry into and tell you baby how much you love and miss her.

Lean on us, Nicole's mom. We're the "experienced" ones - although who would EVER had asked to this experience! No,, that's not true. We are loved by the one being in the universe who is our other half. We're being put through a fire in order to become strong but oh, don't you wish it didn't hurt so D)(*)*) much!

have a sweet, gentle day with your Nicole.

Your friend,

Gretta's mom