Full Version: Afraid Of Not Being Able To Manage The Loss
Post 1
Dear Michelle2,
I am so very sorry you and Jazzy are faced with this terrible situation. Making the decision to assist our furry family members in their passing is one of the most heart-wrenching decisions we can be called upon to make. I know how much your heart is breaking and I wish I could find the words to ease your pain. Please try to remember that as much as it hurts you, you are giving Jazzy one of the most loving and selfless gifts possible. It really doesn' make it any easier but try to take a little comfort in knowing that you are sparing your beloved Jazzy unnecessary and lingering pain.
I also know how painful it is to try to contemplate life without our beloved pet. Regardless of how they enter our lives, they always manage to become a central part of the family and it's almost impossible to remember what life was like before them - or how we'll be able to go on after they leave. They are a fixture in our lives and critical to our happiness. While some people don't understand the depth of feeling many of us have for our animals, everyone on this site does understand and will always be here to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on or cry on, as needed. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to express the deep grief you're feeling. As our wise and sweet Moon_Beam says, you are experiencing anticipatory grief. This is often just as intense and overwhelming as the grief from the actual loss. And this is happening during another major life event in your world, which intensifies the loss even more. Please remember to treat yourself with kindness and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way releases some of the pain from your injured heart. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to cry. As painful as it is, the tears are healing and will help keep you moving forward on this dark and painful road.
I realize how concerned you are about surviving this terrible journey and all I can tell you is that it does get better. It takes time and patience but you will come out the other side. My beautiful Peggy (The Dog) was my dog soul-mate. I have never expereincd a conneciton like that with another animal and rarely with a human. I wasn't sure I was going to ever be able to function again. My sweet girl passed 11 weeks ago this past Saturday. The first month or so I barely remember anything, I have no idea how I even managed to keep my job because my mind just couldn't focus through the pain. I was a walking shell of agony for many, many weeks. The wonderfully kind people on this site helped me to keep moving forward and offered support when I needed it most. They are still there for me when my deep sadness reverts back to intense pain. Knowing that there are others who have been down this road, and there are others who are fellow travelers on this road of tears , all wanting to help each other to move through their pain, somehow offers comfort to our damaged and bleeding hearts. Please know that we will be here for you.
Please try to enjoy the time you have with Jazzy and know that all of you will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you have time, please let us know how you're doing.
Big, comforting cyber-hug to you,
Peggy (the human)
I am so very sorry you and Jazzy are faced with this terrible situation. Making the decision to assist our furry family members in their passing is one of the most heart-wrenching decisions we can be called upon to make. I know how much your heart is breaking and I wish I could find the words to ease your pain. Please try to remember that as much as it hurts you, you are giving Jazzy one of the most loving and selfless gifts possible. It really doesn' make it any easier but try to take a little comfort in knowing that you are sparing your beloved Jazzy unnecessary and lingering pain.
I also know how painful it is to try to contemplate life without our beloved pet. Regardless of how they enter our lives, they always manage to become a central part of the family and it's almost impossible to remember what life was like before them - or how we'll be able to go on after they leave. They are a fixture in our lives and critical to our happiness. While some people don't understand the depth of feeling many of us have for our animals, everyone on this site does understand and will always be here to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on or cry on, as needed. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to express the deep grief you're feeling. As our wise and sweet Moon_Beam says, you are experiencing anticipatory grief. This is often just as intense and overwhelming as the grief from the actual loss. And this is happening during another major life event in your world, which intensifies the loss even more. Please remember to treat yourself with kindness and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way releases some of the pain from your injured heart. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to cry. As painful as it is, the tears are healing and will help keep you moving forward on this dark and painful road.
I realize how concerned you are about surviving this terrible journey and all I can tell you is that it does get better. It takes time and patience but you will come out the other side. My beautiful Peggy (The Dog) was my dog soul-mate. I have never expereincd a conneciton like that with another animal and rarely with a human. I wasn't sure I was going to ever be able to function again. My sweet girl passed 11 weeks ago this past Saturday. The first month or so I barely remember anything, I have no idea how I even managed to keep my job because my mind just couldn't focus through the pain. I was a walking shell of agony for many, many weeks. The wonderfully kind people on this site helped me to keep moving forward and offered support when I needed it most. They are still there for me when my deep sadness reverts back to intense pain. Knowing that there are others who have been down this road, and there are others who are fellow travelers on this road of tears , all wanting to help each other to move through their pain, somehow offers comfort to our damaged and bleeding hearts. Please know that we will be here for you.
Please try to enjoy the time you have with Jazzy and know that all of you will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you have time, please let us know how you're doing.
Big, comforting cyber-hug to you,
Peggy (the human)
Dear Michelle2,
I, too, am so sorry that you and Jazzy are going though such a heart wrenching time in your lives. I commend you for making what has to be one of the most difficult decisions of your life. As Peggy has so eloquently told you, you are giving Jazzy the most loving, selfless gift there is: the opportunity to be released from her earthly, physical pain and suffering by the person whom she loves the most and who loves her equally. Even so, I know this hurts so very much and it doesn't get any better right now. Please take all the time you can to be with, snuggle with and whatever else the two of you have enjoyed over the years with Miss Jazzy now. Feel free to tell her everything that is in your heart. I believe she already knows it, but it sure feels good to say it out loud to your best friend. And, know that it is OK to release her to another place/dimension where there is no pain, no fear, no hunger or too much heat or cold. What there is, for me, is unending peace, contentment, play, good health, plenty of food, drink and treats, new friends and old ones to hang around with and, the best part: telling everyone else about their humans and how wonderful they were and are. Comparing stories where everyone comes out on top. And when the glorious day comes that Jazzy sees you coming to be with her forever, she will be beside herself with complete joy. And so will you.
Your loss will be difficult, almost impossible, but you will have a strong spirit on your side: Jazzy. Released from her earthly confinements, she will give you the strength and courage to go on. You gave her the greatest final gift possible and she will be returning the favor 100 fold. And you will know it - in little ways and sometimes big ways. Don't be afraid to tell your little girl that you need some of her strength and help. She won't let you down. You mention about your child graduating near the same time in terms of another thing coming to an end. His graduation is also a time of new beginnings and possiblities only available because he/she continues to move forward. So, it's the same with Jazzy. You and she will experience a new relationship dimension with one another. Yes, it's the end of one reality, but the beginning of another that has endless possibilities.
I, too, am slowly losing my Trevor to devastating neurologic problems, possibly brought about by abuse in his earlier life. I, too, am facing the dreaded "quality of life" issue on a day-by-day basis. I can only imagine your pain, sorrow, confusion and even anger at what has happened and what is going to happen. I have been very fortunate to have had all my boys euthanized at home, on their favorite blanket, surrounded by mommy & daddy and a most compassionate vet. We spend time together before the "event" and even more so afterwards. I would have it no other way.
I admire your courage and love for Jazzy. She is one lucky little girl having you as her mom. Please take care of yourself, too. You are just as important. And please know that there are many, many people here to support, comfort, listen and lift you up - any time day or night. I care about you and Miss Jazzy. Let us know how you all are doing. And when the time is right, tell us more about your darling Jazzy.
Blessings............
Bobbie
I, too, am so sorry that you and Jazzy are going though such a heart wrenching time in your lives. I commend you for making what has to be one of the most difficult decisions of your life. As Peggy has so eloquently told you, you are giving Jazzy the most loving, selfless gift there is: the opportunity to be released from her earthly, physical pain and suffering by the person whom she loves the most and who loves her equally. Even so, I know this hurts so very much and it doesn't get any better right now. Please take all the time you can to be with, snuggle with and whatever else the two of you have enjoyed over the years with Miss Jazzy now. Feel free to tell her everything that is in your heart. I believe she already knows it, but it sure feels good to say it out loud to your best friend. And, know that it is OK to release her to another place/dimension where there is no pain, no fear, no hunger or too much heat or cold. What there is, for me, is unending peace, contentment, play, good health, plenty of food, drink and treats, new friends and old ones to hang around with and, the best part: telling everyone else about their humans and how wonderful they were and are. Comparing stories where everyone comes out on top. And when the glorious day comes that Jazzy sees you coming to be with her forever, she will be beside herself with complete joy. And so will you.
Your loss will be difficult, almost impossible, but you will have a strong spirit on your side: Jazzy. Released from her earthly confinements, she will give you the strength and courage to go on. You gave her the greatest final gift possible and she will be returning the favor 100 fold. And you will know it - in little ways and sometimes big ways. Don't be afraid to tell your little girl that you need some of her strength and help. She won't let you down. You mention about your child graduating near the same time in terms of another thing coming to an end. His graduation is also a time of new beginnings and possiblities only available because he/she continues to move forward. So, it's the same with Jazzy. You and she will experience a new relationship dimension with one another. Yes, it's the end of one reality, but the beginning of another that has endless possibilities.
I, too, am slowly losing my Trevor to devastating neurologic problems, possibly brought about by abuse in his earlier life. I, too, am facing the dreaded "quality of life" issue on a day-by-day basis. I can only imagine your pain, sorrow, confusion and even anger at what has happened and what is going to happen. I have been very fortunate to have had all my boys euthanized at home, on their favorite blanket, surrounded by mommy & daddy and a most compassionate vet. We spend time together before the "event" and even more so afterwards. I would have it no other way.
I admire your courage and love for Jazzy. She is one lucky little girl having you as her mom. Please take care of yourself, too. You are just as important. And please know that there are many, many people here to support, comfort, listen and lift you up - any time day or night. I care about you and Miss Jazzy. Let us know how you all are doing. And when the time is right, tell us more about your darling Jazzy.
Blessings............
Bobbie
Hi Michelle2,
I promise you, it really will be okay. It's a journey filled with up's and down's, good days and bad but eventually, it does level out. The first several weeks are the worst. Then you begin to slowly move forward, take a step or two back (but never for as long as in the beginning) and then move forward again. It truly is a journey. For me, it helped to have others assisting me as I struggled to move forward and I will be forever grateful to the people on this site for their gentle compassion, words of wisdom, support and love.
I know what you mean about struggling to be productive. I was out of work for almost 2 years (I work in the financial sector) and when I finally found a new job, just 3 months before Peggy passed, I was able to work from home 3 days a week. Mom and I both said it was easier on her since she didn't have to make a big adjustment to my being gone 100 hours a week. When I was working from home, Peggy would always be lying at my feet or just a few feet away, sprawled on a rug that allowed her to watch me as I worked and she napped. We were a team and she always helped me when I was feeling stressed. She'd come over and gently put her head on my lap, looking up at me with her wise and loving eyes and we'd take a minute or two to just be together. She was amazing.
My working from home is what allowed me to 'catch' her condition the day she passed. At 10:30 that morning, she seemed to be struggling to breathe. I hung up on my con call, called the vet and rushed her over. Of course Peggy had a miraculous recovery when she realized we were going for a ride! Gezz she was a funny girl! After a ton of tests, the vet determined she had a mild case of asthsma but aside from that, she got a clean bill of health and they sent us home around noon. At 7 that evening, she collapsed in my kitchen and was clearly struggling to breathe. We rushed her to Tuft's Emergency, they identified congestive heart failure and 'tapped her heart' to remove fluid and take the pressure off her heart - the procedure was performed numerous times that night. We left her around midnight and got a call from Tufts at 12:45, saying she wouldn't make it through the night. We rushed back up and the Dr told us they determined she had undetected cancer of the red blood cells and that tumors had developed on her heart. The tumors had ruptured and that's where the fluid on her heart was originating. At 1:20 am, the Dr gave my beautiful 8 year old girl a shot and she quietly passed.
It was horrible and the word devestated doesn't even begin to cover how we felt. We still miss her terribly but with the passing of time (it will be 12 weeks this Friday night/Saturday morning), the agonizing, paralyzing, intense pain has given way to a very deep sadness and a longing to see her again. There are still times when I cry (and I'm not a crier by nature) but that searing pain doesn't take over and refuse to leave like it did in the beginning. You just have to be patient and allow time to do it's magic. I still don't know how we've managed to go on without her, but clearly we have. I believe I will always miss her (and Mom will too) but you learn to adapt and go on. Just remember, the people on this site will do everything in their power to help you when you need it. We are fortunate to have some very wise and compassionate people responding to others on this site, on a regular basis. They are a big part of what will help you move forward. Also, for many of us, writing about our beloved pet helps. Not sure why that is but with Peggy, I figured that since anything put on the internet is forever, there will always be a permanant record of her having been here and being such a wonderful soul. In that sense, she's memorialized in a way that allows the memory of her to live forever.
And thank you for commenting on my avatar - it is Peggy (The Dog). That's one of my very favorite shots of her. It really captures her essence. You can just feel the love, joy, understanding, wisdom, playfulness and gentle compassion flowing from her. Any wonder I was in love with my dog?!
You'd never suspect she had been abused and neglected for her first 2.5 years before coming to us. She had such a beautiful heart that she was able to move beyond all that misery and pain. Again, she was just an amazing soul.
Michelle2, I wish I could offer you some advice on how to prepare for Jazzy's passing. I really don't know of anything I can say that would help prepare you but (as you know) Bobbie was right when she suggested spening as much time with her as you can and resolving anything you think may bother you after she passes. No matter how much we prepare, it's still such a difficult thing to say good-bye to someone we love. Please know you and Jazzy will be in my thoughts and prayers as you find you way along this road.
Please take care of yourself,
Peggy (the human)
I promise you, it really will be okay. It's a journey filled with up's and down's, good days and bad but eventually, it does level out. The first several weeks are the worst. Then you begin to slowly move forward, take a step or two back (but never for as long as in the beginning) and then move forward again. It truly is a journey. For me, it helped to have others assisting me as I struggled to move forward and I will be forever grateful to the people on this site for their gentle compassion, words of wisdom, support and love.
I know what you mean about struggling to be productive. I was out of work for almost 2 years (I work in the financial sector) and when I finally found a new job, just 3 months before Peggy passed, I was able to work from home 3 days a week. Mom and I both said it was easier on her since she didn't have to make a big adjustment to my being gone 100 hours a week. When I was working from home, Peggy would always be lying at my feet or just a few feet away, sprawled on a rug that allowed her to watch me as I worked and she napped. We were a team and she always helped me when I was feeling stressed. She'd come over and gently put her head on my lap, looking up at me with her wise and loving eyes and we'd take a minute or two to just be together. She was amazing.
My working from home is what allowed me to 'catch' her condition the day she passed. At 10:30 that morning, she seemed to be struggling to breathe. I hung up on my con call, called the vet and rushed her over. Of course Peggy had a miraculous recovery when she realized we were going for a ride! Gezz she was a funny girl! After a ton of tests, the vet determined she had a mild case of asthsma but aside from that, she got a clean bill of health and they sent us home around noon. At 7 that evening, she collapsed in my kitchen and was clearly struggling to breathe. We rushed her to Tuft's Emergency, they identified congestive heart failure and 'tapped her heart' to remove fluid and take the pressure off her heart - the procedure was performed numerous times that night. We left her around midnight and got a call from Tufts at 12:45, saying she wouldn't make it through the night. We rushed back up and the Dr told us they determined she had undetected cancer of the red blood cells and that tumors had developed on her heart. The tumors had ruptured and that's where the fluid on her heart was originating. At 1:20 am, the Dr gave my beautiful 8 year old girl a shot and she quietly passed.
It was horrible and the word devestated doesn't even begin to cover how we felt. We still miss her terribly but with the passing of time (it will be 12 weeks this Friday night/Saturday morning), the agonizing, paralyzing, intense pain has given way to a very deep sadness and a longing to see her again. There are still times when I cry (and I'm not a crier by nature) but that searing pain doesn't take over and refuse to leave like it did in the beginning. You just have to be patient and allow time to do it's magic. I still don't know how we've managed to go on without her, but clearly we have. I believe I will always miss her (and Mom will too) but you learn to adapt and go on. Just remember, the people on this site will do everything in their power to help you when you need it. We are fortunate to have some very wise and compassionate people responding to others on this site, on a regular basis. They are a big part of what will help you move forward. Also, for many of us, writing about our beloved pet helps. Not sure why that is but with Peggy, I figured that since anything put on the internet is forever, there will always be a permanant record of her having been here and being such a wonderful soul. In that sense, she's memorialized in a way that allows the memory of her to live forever.
And thank you for commenting on my avatar - it is Peggy (The Dog). That's one of my very favorite shots of her. It really captures her essence. You can just feel the love, joy, understanding, wisdom, playfulness and gentle compassion flowing from her. Any wonder I was in love with my dog?!
You'd never suspect she had been abused and neglected for her first 2.5 years before coming to us. She had such a beautiful heart that she was able to move beyond all that misery and pain. Again, she was just an amazing soul.Michelle2, I wish I could offer you some advice on how to prepare for Jazzy's passing. I really don't know of anything I can say that would help prepare you but (as you know) Bobbie was right when she suggested spening as much time with her as you can and resolving anything you think may bother you after she passes. No matter how much we prepare, it's still such a difficult thing to say good-bye to someone we love. Please know you and Jazzy will be in my thoughts and prayers as you find you way along this road.
Please take care of yourself,
Peggy (the human)
Hi, Michelle, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in your Anticipatory Grief of losing your beloved Jazzy. Both Peggy and Bobbie have offered you the most compassionate responses I could ever hope to give. I can only humbly affirm what they have shared with you, so please read their responses to you often.
I know what it's like to have an "appointment" set, and how each minute of every hour of every day is so very precious. Your comment: "I know many people find comfort from religion at times like these, but that is not really the case for me" has touched my heart. Michelle, the loss of a loved one - - be it a human family member or friend or a beloved companion - - is a crisis situation, and these types of situations can arouse feelings of confusion or despair about spiritual issues. Even someone who professes great spiritual beliefs can find themselves sorely tested and in grievous spiritual agony during times of crisis. The most important thing for you to know at this point is that you are not alone in your journey with Jazzy. Unfortunately our society in general, including many organized religious denominations, does not offer the support that is needed during a crisis situation involving a beloved companion. But as Peggy and Bobbie have already shared with you, so I also affirm their words of encouragement: Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. We are here for you, with you, and beside with every step you take. There are no judgments made here - - and no need for a "public face" to try to cover up the deepest sorrow you are feeling in your heart.
And as both Peggy and Bobbie have shared with you, I also wish to affirm their most comforting words: The love bond you and your precious Jazzy share is eternal - - it is not dependent upon the physical laws of time and space. Your precious Jazzy's sweet Living Spirit will continue to be a part of you as you continue in your earthly journey, and that you will be reunited with her in eternal joy when it is your appropriate time. I hope as your deep grief eases that you will find comfort in these words, too.
Michelle, thank you so much for sharing your precious Jazzy with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to post a picture of her - - if you would like to do so. These next several days are precious to you and Jazzy - - so cherish every moment you have together, as I know you are already doing - - this will be a blessing to you later on. Please know you and your precious Jazzy are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I know what it's like to have an "appointment" set, and how each minute of every hour of every day is so very precious. Your comment: "I know many people find comfort from religion at times like these, but that is not really the case for me" has touched my heart. Michelle, the loss of a loved one - - be it a human family member or friend or a beloved companion - - is a crisis situation, and these types of situations can arouse feelings of confusion or despair about spiritual issues. Even someone who professes great spiritual beliefs can find themselves sorely tested and in grievous spiritual agony during times of crisis. The most important thing for you to know at this point is that you are not alone in your journey with Jazzy. Unfortunately our society in general, including many organized religious denominations, does not offer the support that is needed during a crisis situation involving a beloved companion. But as Peggy and Bobbie have already shared with you, so I also affirm their words of encouragement: Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. We are here for you, with you, and beside with every step you take. There are no judgments made here - - and no need for a "public face" to try to cover up the deepest sorrow you are feeling in your heart.
And as both Peggy and Bobbie have shared with you, I also wish to affirm their most comforting words: The love bond you and your precious Jazzy share is eternal - - it is not dependent upon the physical laws of time and space. Your precious Jazzy's sweet Living Spirit will continue to be a part of you as you continue in your earthly journey, and that you will be reunited with her in eternal joy when it is your appropriate time. I hope as your deep grief eases that you will find comfort in these words, too.
Michelle, thank you so much for sharing your precious Jazzy with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to post a picture of her - - if you would like to do so. These next several days are precious to you and Jazzy - - so cherish every moment you have together, as I know you are already doing - - this will be a blessing to you later on. Please know you and your precious Jazzy are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Dear Michelle2,
Just a quick check-in to see how your day was with Jazzy. I hope it was filled with love, peace and a whole lot of togetherness. My thoughts and prayers are with you every day, especially in the next few days.
Sending love and hundreds of good wishes to both of you!
XOXOxo
Bobbie
Just a quick check-in to see how your day was with Jazzy. I hope it was filled with love, peace and a whole lot of togetherness. My thoughts and prayers are with you every day, especially in the next few days.
Sending love and hundreds of good wishes to both of you!
XOXOxo
Bobbie
Hi, Michelle, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Jazzy are doing. Please know there are no "strangers" here. Although we will probably never meet face to face on this side of eternity, we have the best friendships we could ever hope for - - as we have been introduced to each other through our beloved companions.
Michelle, I do understand all too well what you and your precious Jazzy are going through. And yes, your heart's desire to look deeply into your precious Jazzy's eyes to share your love with her makes every sense in the world. I wish there were some way I could make this journey easier for you and your precious Jazzy. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship and reassurance that you are not alone.
Michelle, please know you and your precious Jazzy are in my thoughts and prayers, and am here for you to share how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Michelle, I do understand all too well what you and your precious Jazzy are going through. And yes, your heart's desire to look deeply into your precious Jazzy's eyes to share your love with her makes every sense in the world. I wish there were some way I could make this journey easier for you and your precious Jazzy. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship and reassurance that you are not alone.
Michelle, please know you and your precious Jazzy are in my thoughts and prayers, and am here for you to share how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
My Dearest Michelle,
I know that today is the hardest and saddest day in your whole life. I want to send you my deepest sympathy and comfort on the loss of your wonderful Jazzy.
Today you gave Jazzy the most loving gesture of her entire existence - you released her from the earthly bonds that were making her suffer and into the most amazing place in the universe (next to being with you, of course). Jazzy is now totally healthy, free of all pain forever, happy, able to run and jump and roll in whatever she wants to without geting messy, seeing all her "old" friends and making friends with so many new animals. She is telling everyone about you (her mom) and her sister (Emily), actually she is bragging about you. And all her animal friends are telling her, not only about this wonderful place, but their stories as well.
Jazzy will never forget you, just as you will always remember her. She will send you "signs" when you are ready. They may be tiny little ones or ones that just about knock you over. Jazzy will never leave you, although you can't physically see her now, her spirit remains with you. She knows you are so, so sad and she understands and will help you (in her own spirit way) every step of this journey.
And please feel free to grieve....however and whenever YOU want/need to. This is a tremendous loss for you, a very legitimate time to grieve. Take whatever time you need, seek comfort from whomever helps you and totally ignore everyone who doesn't understand. You don't have to "explain" or "hide" anything. I know that today must be a day of questions, feeling in a daze, just "being" and feeling. And that's OK. Time will also help you move in a healing direction and do the things you want to do to honor and remember Jazzy.
Those of us on this site are always here for you, every second of every day, 24/7. Reach out when you need to and we'll be here for you. We promise to carry you when you cannot move. We will cry with you and we will laugh with you. We will share with you and we will do things with you. You are never, ever alone. We feel your pain, every one of us. We have "been there, done that". We know. We also know that your loss is as unique as Jazzy was and so we will never intrude or tell you "how to grieve". You and you. Jazzy is Jazzy. always.
Give yourself a hug from me and Trevor. You are one loving and courageous woman. Hang in there. We are with you!
Blessings.................
Bobbie
I know that today is the hardest and saddest day in your whole life. I want to send you my deepest sympathy and comfort on the loss of your wonderful Jazzy.
Today you gave Jazzy the most loving gesture of her entire existence - you released her from the earthly bonds that were making her suffer and into the most amazing place in the universe (next to being with you, of course). Jazzy is now totally healthy, free of all pain forever, happy, able to run and jump and roll in whatever she wants to without geting messy, seeing all her "old" friends and making friends with so many new animals. She is telling everyone about you (her mom) and her sister (Emily), actually she is bragging about you. And all her animal friends are telling her, not only about this wonderful place, but their stories as well.
Jazzy will never forget you, just as you will always remember her. She will send you "signs" when you are ready. They may be tiny little ones or ones that just about knock you over. Jazzy will never leave you, although you can't physically see her now, her spirit remains with you. She knows you are so, so sad and she understands and will help you (in her own spirit way) every step of this journey.
And please feel free to grieve....however and whenever YOU want/need to. This is a tremendous loss for you, a very legitimate time to grieve. Take whatever time you need, seek comfort from whomever helps you and totally ignore everyone who doesn't understand. You don't have to "explain" or "hide" anything. I know that today must be a day of questions, feeling in a daze, just "being" and feeling. And that's OK. Time will also help you move in a healing direction and do the things you want to do to honor and remember Jazzy.
Those of us on this site are always here for you, every second of every day, 24/7. Reach out when you need to and we'll be here for you. We promise to carry you when you cannot move. We will cry with you and we will laugh with you. We will share with you and we will do things with you. You are never, ever alone. We feel your pain, every one of us. We have "been there, done that". We know. We also know that your loss is as unique as Jazzy was and so we will never intrude or tell you "how to grieve". You and you. Jazzy is Jazzy. always.
Give yourself a hug from me and Trevor. You are one loving and courageous woman. Hang in there. We are with you!
Blessings.................
Bobbie
Dear Michelle,
Just stopping by to let you know that you, Jazzy and your familiy are in my thoughts and prayers today. I know how difficult and painful today must be for you and I have tears in my eyes every time I think of what you're facing. I 100% echo everything our sweet Bobbie said and just want you to know that there are many of us thinking of you this morning and mentally sending you love and support to help you through this sad event. Please know that you are not alone. We are here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to listen and help you release some of your pain. Whatever you need, we're here for you.
Much love and I send you a comforting, supportive hug.
Please take care of yourself.
Peggy
Just stopping by to let you know that you, Jazzy and your familiy are in my thoughts and prayers today. I know how difficult and painful today must be for you and I have tears in my eyes every time I think of what you're facing. I 100% echo everything our sweet Bobbie said and just want you to know that there are many of us thinking of you this morning and mentally sending you love and support to help you through this sad event. Please know that you are not alone. We are here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to listen and help you release some of your pain. Whatever you need, we're here for you.
Much love and I send you a comforting, supportive hug.
Please take care of yourself.
Peggy
Hi, Michelle, just stopping by to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers, as well as to echo all the comforting words that both Bobbie and Peggy have already written. I'm sending you my heartfelt and deepest sympathies.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Michelle, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Our beloved companions do fill a part of us that no one else can reach - - because they give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention. They accept us for who we are, and we, in turn, surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation - - knowing there is no fear of rejection or having to "live up" to some unreachable "expectation" - - be it in a social setting or with other human relationships. And this is one of the many reasons why it is so very painful for us - - both emotionally and physically - - when our beloved companions precede us to the angels.
Michelle, I wish there were some magical words I could say to you that would take away this excruciating grief you are feeling, but I know there are no words in any language that can do that. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship hoping that somehow as you read the words I write to you that they will be able to bring some comfort to you. I hope you can feel me reaching out to you across the cyber miles holding you as you cry these healing tears. It is important that you allow yourself the opportunity to grieve, Michelle. Please know this is a place where you can come and share whatever is in your heart - - there is no need for a "public face" here.
Clinical professionals are just beginning to understand that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful as, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend. This is a fairly new component to the counseling field, and not every counselor has the additional training to assist in this area. I hope your counselor is compassionate and is able to offer comfort and encouragement to you in your grief journey.
Michelle, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, sometimes a one moment at a time journey. It is ofen referred to as a horror roller coaster ride because the grief emotions can be so overwhelming and can consume us all at one time. Sometimes we can begin to feel like we just don't know which way is up, and that the deepest grief will never ease. Unfortunately there is no "fast forward" button, no "delete" button we can press that can speed up the process. There is no "put A tab in slot B" - - no diagram or instruction manual - - to follow that will make this most painful experience we can ever know on this side of eternity end in "X" number of hours or days or weeks or months. But I assure you, dear Michelle, that eventually your deep grief will ease - - perhaps when you least expect it. But until that time arrives for you, Michelle, please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you every step of your journey. This is a journey only you can travel in your own time and in your own way. There is no "expiration date" here.
Michelle, I hope you will find some comfort in the words I have written to you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Michelle, I wish there were some magical words I could say to you that would take away this excruciating grief you are feeling, but I know there are no words in any language that can do that. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship hoping that somehow as you read the words I write to you that they will be able to bring some comfort to you. I hope you can feel me reaching out to you across the cyber miles holding you as you cry these healing tears. It is important that you allow yourself the opportunity to grieve, Michelle. Please know this is a place where you can come and share whatever is in your heart - - there is no need for a "public face" here.
Clinical professionals are just beginning to understand that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful as, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend. This is a fairly new component to the counseling field, and not every counselor has the additional training to assist in this area. I hope your counselor is compassionate and is able to offer comfort and encouragement to you in your grief journey.
Michelle, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, sometimes a one moment at a time journey. It is ofen referred to as a horror roller coaster ride because the grief emotions can be so overwhelming and can consume us all at one time. Sometimes we can begin to feel like we just don't know which way is up, and that the deepest grief will never ease. Unfortunately there is no "fast forward" button, no "delete" button we can press that can speed up the process. There is no "put A tab in slot B" - - no diagram or instruction manual - - to follow that will make this most painful experience we can ever know on this side of eternity end in "X" number of hours or days or weeks or months. But I assure you, dear Michelle, that eventually your deep grief will ease - - perhaps when you least expect it. But until that time arrives for you, Michelle, please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you every step of your journey. This is a journey only you can travel in your own time and in your own way. There is no "expiration date" here.
Michelle, I hope you will find some comfort in the words I have written to you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Dear Michelle,
I am so very sorry that your heart is shredded and your world is tossed upside down. What you are feeling and how you are feeling it is absolutely normal. I know that doesn't make anything any easier. It never does. Stay with Jazzy (her memories) as long and as often as it helps you. Right now you don't have to do anything else. And you, certainly, don't have to get past Jazzy's precious eyes if you either can't or don't want to. In time, I believe, Jazzy's eyes will be a comfort and a wonderful memory.
Please know that my heart goes out to you and I am available any time, as are all the rest of us on this site. May the stars twinkling in the sky tonight remind you that your amazing Jazzy is looking "down" on you all the time. Jazzy's spirit is simply everywhere she was with you in her physical life, just for you.
Try to rest a bit. You are never alone.
Blessings........
Bobbie & Trevor
I am so very sorry that your heart is shredded and your world is tossed upside down. What you are feeling and how you are feeling it is absolutely normal. I know that doesn't make anything any easier. It never does. Stay with Jazzy (her memories) as long and as often as it helps you. Right now you don't have to do anything else. And you, certainly, don't have to get past Jazzy's precious eyes if you either can't or don't want to. In time, I believe, Jazzy's eyes will be a comfort and a wonderful memory.
Please know that my heart goes out to you and I am available any time, as are all the rest of us on this site. May the stars twinkling in the sky tonight remind you that your amazing Jazzy is looking "down" on you all the time. Jazzy's spirit is simply everywhere she was with you in her physical life, just for you.
Try to rest a bit. You are never alone.
Blessings........
Bobbie & Trevor
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