[font="Century Gothic"][/font]Gretta was the kindest dog who ever lived. I'm sure all pet parents feel that way about THEIR darling furbabies. She was a rescue dog, a chocolate lab who had been turned out onto the street in the freezing Minnesota November. A wonderful woman who was going to Animal Control to rescue another dog looked into Gretta's face and just couldn't leave her behind - so she took two dogs - and changed my life. Wonderful Margie fed and doctored and loved Gretta until she was ready to be adopted. It wasn't a coincidence that my new neighbor was active in the rescue organization and asked me to help out one Saturday. Gretta chose ME there - she pawed me a couple of times as if to say, Please take me home, and then put her sweet, gray head down on my lap. She was 8-10 years old when I took her home (who could say about a street-dog). The vet said she was almost dead of starvation before she got rescued.
For three and a half wonderful years we jogged, played, snuggled and shared everything. Neither of us is the sharpest knife in the drawer, so our only "trick" was "Who wants to lie on the floor?" She'd roll over on her back for a tummy rub and her lips would drop back and she'd me "making a wolf."
Over the past year, my Gretta (aka Mr Waggy Tail - even though she was a girl!) started slowing down. Mile jogs got to be too much for her. We had a scare about front leg limping. But she got better and we could walk even if we counldn't run. She had a beautiful, greay face - so beautiful on a Chocolate Lab. Several people used the word "kind" when describing her. That's amazing, because kindness is active, not passive like being cute. She radiated kindness. About three weeks ago, she startted limping on and off. The most wonderful vet in the world X-rayed her spine and major limbs - but found nothing.
For a couple of days, she seemed to have trouble lying down - and, like every pet parent, I layon the floor with her to help he (and me) sleep. Last Saturday she crashed. She could walk normally on our 5 AM walk. By 10 AM she was stuggling to make it to the corner and by 3 PM she could stand but not walk. A kind neighbor help me get her into the car and we went to the University Vet Clinic - mercifully open 24/7. She could still not walk and I asked them if they could keep her overnight. How could I know it would be her last night on this side!
Sunday the U vet called and was talking about some possible diagnoses - all involving neurological problems. When she got to talking MRI and surgery, I knew it was time. No, my beautiful, kind Gretta - at 12 1/2 - was NOT going to be opened up. I asked the vet it it was time, and she indirectly but clearly said it was. From then on it was like running on fumes. I went to the vet school, where Mr Waggy Tail was wheeled in in a wagon and the catheter inserted into her leg. She was lifted onto my lap and we said our last words to each other. After two deep breaths, she went limp and I said, "She's gone." I couldn't watch her being lifted back into the wagon, but I did ask to see her face just one more time. That kind, kind face.
Only you lightening-strikers know what it's like to open the house door that first time and see ... nothing. No face smiling, no tail wagging, no velvet-soft ears to scratch. Nothing. An now that's EVERY time I open the door. I look around for Waggy but she's not there. Not on her dog bed, not in the kitchen counter surfing ... nowhere.
Our vet siad he'd never in all his years of practice seen a dog as loved as Gretta. But the truth was, I've never in my life seen a person as loved as me.
Where is my Mr. Waggy Tail? In my heart I know she's in heaven, where everything is perfect and she has all kinds of friends and is young again forever. No matter whose theology doesn't allow for animals to live on after their passing, MINE DOES and I going with that. But I stilll wonder every minute of every day ... where is my Mr. Waggy Tail?
Thank you ligntehing-strikers more than I can say for being there and for knowing and understanding. We WILL be together one day.
Thank you all.
Gretta's mom
Full Version: Where's My Mr Waggy Tail?
Hi, Gretta's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Gretta. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions, at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can be healed to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Gretta's Mom, this grief journey is one filled with many different emotions that tear at our hearts and fill our usual confidence in things that we believe with doubts and uncertainty. I hope that your heart and mind will be at peace knowing that your beloved Gretta is indeed in heaven's perfect garden in the company of the angels. Each of our beloved companions are there to greet her and help her feel at home while she patiently waits for you join her in eternal joy at your appropriate time.
This grief journey is also one of adjustment to not having the physical presence of our beloved companions with us. And this is very painful - - both emotionally and physically. We live in a physical oriented world - - sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. When our beloved companions join us in our earthly journey our lives are changed for the better, and when they precede us to the angels our lives are changed again. This time, however, we are blessed with the cherished memories we hold in our hearts and the eternal love bond that is only ours to have, hold, and cherish. Love is not dependent on the physical laws of time and space - - it is eternal. I hope and pray that as your grief eases you will feel your precious Gretta's sweet Living Spirit still sharing your earthly journey just as she always has, and always will. She is always a heartbeat close to you.
Gretta's Mom, it is important for you to remember that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Thank you so much for sharing your precious Gretta with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to posting a picture of her - - but only when / if you feel up to it. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Gretta's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Gretta's Mom, this grief journey is one filled with many different emotions that tear at our hearts and fill our usual confidence in things that we believe with doubts and uncertainty. I hope that your heart and mind will be at peace knowing that your beloved Gretta is indeed in heaven's perfect garden in the company of the angels. Each of our beloved companions are there to greet her and help her feel at home while she patiently waits for you join her in eternal joy at your appropriate time.
This grief journey is also one of adjustment to not having the physical presence of our beloved companions with us. And this is very painful - - both emotionally and physically. We live in a physical oriented world - - sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. When our beloved companions join us in our earthly journey our lives are changed for the better, and when they precede us to the angels our lives are changed again. This time, however, we are blessed with the cherished memories we hold in our hearts and the eternal love bond that is only ours to have, hold, and cherish. Love is not dependent on the physical laws of time and space - - it is eternal. I hope and pray that as your grief eases you will feel your precious Gretta's sweet Living Spirit still sharing your earthly journey just as she always has, and always will. She is always a heartbeat close to you.
Gretta's Mom, it is important for you to remember that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Thank you so much for sharing your precious Gretta with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to posting a picture of her - - but only when / if you feel up to it. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Gretta's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you so much, Moon Beam. You have a great name and a great heart. Your words of consolation mean so much to me. I'll post a picture of Gretta when I figure out how. Thanks again, Moon Beam.
Dear Gretta's Mom,
Your story brought tears to my eyes. It was very much like reading about my own beloved Peggy, who passed very suddenly 7 weeks ago. I loved the way you relayed the 'one trick' you both knew about lying down on the floor. That part brought a smile to my face, through the tears. I can totally relate to coming home and they're not there to greet you, their bed is so empty, their dish is unmoved and the soul with whom you shared unconditional love has left a gapping hole in your heart and your life. I wish I could tell you when the pain will subside but I'm still struggling with that myself. When you're one of the lucky people who is blessed with a rare, soul-mate like connection with a sweet and gentle soul, it is even more challenging than usual to move forward and just remember the joy you were blessed with while you shared your lives. I can also relate to the question, asking where she is now. I've been writing a lot since Peggy passed on one of my poems is entitled (and repeatedly asks) Where Have You Gone, My Beautiful Girl?' I also know how difficult it is when you have that connection and the time goes by too fast. Peggy came to us when she was 2 and a half and passed shortly after her 8th Birtday. Like you with Gretta, not anywhere near enough time. I wish I could offer some words of comfort that would help ease your pain but all I can do is tell you that I know exactly how you're feeling and that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the pain in your heart eases soon and that you'll be able to take comfort in your wonderful memories of Gretta, a.k.a. Mr. Waggy Tail. And I do agree with you about animals going to heaven and we will see them again.
Please take care of yourself.
Peggy (the human)
P.S. Hopefully I'm not breaking any rules by copying instructions into here but between being overwhelmed with Peggy's death and an intense work schedule, I finally found time to check out how to upload pics tonight. In case you're too overwhelmed or time pressed to search for it, here are the instructions the site Admin has posted to help if your pics are larger than the site will allow: http://www.splashup.com/splashup/ go to File, open image, browse, select a photo, go to IMAGE MENU, and type in image size. then when you choose to save it lets you choose the quality (which determines file size).
Your story brought tears to my eyes. It was very much like reading about my own beloved Peggy, who passed very suddenly 7 weeks ago. I loved the way you relayed the 'one trick' you both knew about lying down on the floor. That part brought a smile to my face, through the tears. I can totally relate to coming home and they're not there to greet you, their bed is so empty, their dish is unmoved and the soul with whom you shared unconditional love has left a gapping hole in your heart and your life. I wish I could tell you when the pain will subside but I'm still struggling with that myself. When you're one of the lucky people who is blessed with a rare, soul-mate like connection with a sweet and gentle soul, it is even more challenging than usual to move forward and just remember the joy you were blessed with while you shared your lives. I can also relate to the question, asking where she is now. I've been writing a lot since Peggy passed on one of my poems is entitled (and repeatedly asks) Where Have You Gone, My Beautiful Girl?' I also know how difficult it is when you have that connection and the time goes by too fast. Peggy came to us when she was 2 and a half and passed shortly after her 8th Birtday. Like you with Gretta, not anywhere near enough time. I wish I could offer some words of comfort that would help ease your pain but all I can do is tell you that I know exactly how you're feeling and that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the pain in your heart eases soon and that you'll be able to take comfort in your wonderful memories of Gretta, a.k.a. Mr. Waggy Tail. And I do agree with you about animals going to heaven and we will see them again.
Please take care of yourself.
Peggy (the human)
P.S. Hopefully I'm not breaking any rules by copying instructions into here but between being overwhelmed with Peggy's death and an intense work schedule, I finally found time to check out how to upload pics tonight. In case you're too overwhelmed or time pressed to search for it, here are the instructions the site Admin has posted to help if your pics are larger than the site will allow: http://www.splashup.com/splashup/ go to File, open image, browse, select a photo, go to IMAGE MENU, and type in image size. then when you choose to save it lets you choose the quality (which determines file size).
Dear Peggy's human
Thank you SO much for your beautiful message. I know we're dog-soul-sisters. You're So right about it being much too soon. But I suppose no time is the right time. Only people like you, who have that deep spirit-connection with their "baby" can understand what this time is like. Thank you more than I can say for your understanding. Peggy looks and sounds like a doll. Living always so close that you almost walked in each other's footprints. Thank you for seeing through your own heartache to reach out to another beaking heart. Looks like we're going to go through this together - what a blessing. That hectic workschedule that we always wished would ease up also looks like a blessing right now. Even though most people pooh-pooh the idea of grieving for pets beyond a day or two, at least being around the "madding crowd" makes you think and talk about some else beside the heart breaking inside you.
Peggy's human, you're a beacon in this raging storm. If you can and want to, tell me a little bit more about your wonderful Peggy. She looks like a soul-dog, too. I KNOW Gretta has found Peggy. Peg's definitely her kind of dog!
And thank you so much for the instructions on posting a picture. I'll try them today.
You, too, be kind to yourself. Faith, hope and friendship are all we have to go on now.
Gretta's mom
Thank you SO much for your beautiful message. I know we're dog-soul-sisters. You're So right about it being much too soon. But I suppose no time is the right time. Only people like you, who have that deep spirit-connection with their "baby" can understand what this time is like. Thank you more than I can say for your understanding. Peggy looks and sounds like a doll. Living always so close that you almost walked in each other's footprints. Thank you for seeing through your own heartache to reach out to another beaking heart. Looks like we're going to go through this together - what a blessing. That hectic workschedule that we always wished would ease up also looks like a blessing right now. Even though most people pooh-pooh the idea of grieving for pets beyond a day or two, at least being around the "madding crowd" makes you think and talk about some else beside the heart breaking inside you.
Peggy's human, you're a beacon in this raging storm. If you can and want to, tell me a little bit more about your wonderful Peggy. She looks like a soul-dog, too. I KNOW Gretta has found Peggy. Peg's definitely her kind of dog!
And thank you so much for the instructions on posting a picture. I'll try them today.
You, too, be kind to yourself. Faith, hope and friendship are all we have to go on now.
Gretta's mom
Dear Gretta's Mom,
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Gretta. What a touching rescue story. Your Gretta's slowing down on jogging reminded me so much of my beautiful Victoria's decline.
Please try to take it one day at a time for now and know that we are here for you whenever you may need us. I hope you will have success with posting a pic of your beloved girl.
With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Gretta. What a touching rescue story. Your Gretta's slowing down on jogging reminded me so much of my beautiful Victoria's decline.
Please try to take it one day at a time for now and know that we are here for you whenever you may need us. I hope you will have success with posting a pic of your beloved girl.
With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna
Hi Gretta's Mom,
You're so right, there is no 'good time' for a beloved pet to pass over. In my case, I always knew she was frail and brought her to the vet so often that I'm sure they thought I needed therapy for being a doggie hypochondriac. But I KNEW something very wrong was going on for a long while. The day she passed, I took her to the vet in the morning and aside from determining her lungs were inflamed and diagnosing a ‘mild case of asthma’, she was sent home as completely healthy. Seven hours later, she collapsed in my kitchen and I rushed her to Tufts Animal hospital. After having her heart sack drained with a needle numerous times in 5 hours, they determined she had tumors on her heart and there was no hope. We were with her when she passed at 1:00 am (13 hours after getting her ‘clean bill of health’). ‘Devastating’ doesn’t even begin to cover the emotional impact her loss has had on me or my poor mother (or several family members and friends).
Peggy was the embodiment of pure love. She had been treated horribly by the breeder who had her the first 2.5 years of her life. She came to us filled with fear but a willingness to please and accept whatever her situation was. And she made it clear that all she wanted was an opportunity to love and hopefully, be loved in return. It took several years to get her past all her fears (strangers in general, absolute terror of men, loud noises, separation anxiety, other dogs, etc the list was almost endless) but her willingness to move forward and her ability to extend trust helped us all to move beyond her experience. Once she had met you and allowed you to show her you didn’t want to hurt her, she would exude absolute love toward you. She would ‘sing’ to you when she met you at the door, she never jumped on anyone, she almost always had a smile on her face, she was incredibly gentle with the weak (I was actually working on training her to be a therapy dog at the end) , she always obeyed, never strayed away from us when not on a leash, wanted to share her joy and lift up anyone who was near her and projected absolute love with her eyes when she looked at you. She was one of the most amazing creatures God ever put on the planet. She truly never hurt another living soul, human or animal. How anyone could have treated her badly is beyond me.
So yes, as you described your precious Gretta, I recognized the she possessed the same qualities as Peggy. I do hope they’re together, wherever they may be. Peggy was so gentle and frail that she didn’t get to play with many dogs. The dogs her size were too rough and she wasn’t good at pushing back to make them stop. The owners of smaller dogs were afraid she was going to be too rough with their smaller pets. I think she was ultimately okay with that since Peggy loved her humans the most. If she was with a dog and I started to wander away, she’d immediately break away to follow me. Her choice since I wasn’t ‘leaving’ the area and hadn’t called her to come with me. She just preferred her human companions.
Gretta’s Mom, I know how difficult this time is for you and I’m so sorry you have to go through it. Please know that you are not alone and many of the people on this site have or have had a similar connection with their beloved non-human family members. You will continue to be in my prayers and I hope your heart begins to lighten soon.
Take care and please let me know how you’re doing.
Peggy (the human)
P.S. Peggy (Lady Pegasus) already shared my name, long before she came to us. We knew she was meant to be our dog as soon as we heard what her name was.
You're so right, there is no 'good time' for a beloved pet to pass over. In my case, I always knew she was frail and brought her to the vet so often that I'm sure they thought I needed therapy for being a doggie hypochondriac. But I KNEW something very wrong was going on for a long while. The day she passed, I took her to the vet in the morning and aside from determining her lungs were inflamed and diagnosing a ‘mild case of asthma’, she was sent home as completely healthy. Seven hours later, she collapsed in my kitchen and I rushed her to Tufts Animal hospital. After having her heart sack drained with a needle numerous times in 5 hours, they determined she had tumors on her heart and there was no hope. We were with her when she passed at 1:00 am (13 hours after getting her ‘clean bill of health’). ‘Devastating’ doesn’t even begin to cover the emotional impact her loss has had on me or my poor mother (or several family members and friends).
Peggy was the embodiment of pure love. She had been treated horribly by the breeder who had her the first 2.5 years of her life. She came to us filled with fear but a willingness to please and accept whatever her situation was. And she made it clear that all she wanted was an opportunity to love and hopefully, be loved in return. It took several years to get her past all her fears (strangers in general, absolute terror of men, loud noises, separation anxiety, other dogs, etc the list was almost endless) but her willingness to move forward and her ability to extend trust helped us all to move beyond her experience. Once she had met you and allowed you to show her you didn’t want to hurt her, she would exude absolute love toward you. She would ‘sing’ to you when she met you at the door, she never jumped on anyone, she almost always had a smile on her face, she was incredibly gentle with the weak (I was actually working on training her to be a therapy dog at the end) , she always obeyed, never strayed away from us when not on a leash, wanted to share her joy and lift up anyone who was near her and projected absolute love with her eyes when she looked at you. She was one of the most amazing creatures God ever put on the planet. She truly never hurt another living soul, human or animal. How anyone could have treated her badly is beyond me.
So yes, as you described your precious Gretta, I recognized the she possessed the same qualities as Peggy. I do hope they’re together, wherever they may be. Peggy was so gentle and frail that she didn’t get to play with many dogs. The dogs her size were too rough and she wasn’t good at pushing back to make them stop. The owners of smaller dogs were afraid she was going to be too rough with their smaller pets. I think she was ultimately okay with that since Peggy loved her humans the most. If she was with a dog and I started to wander away, she’d immediately break away to follow me. Her choice since I wasn’t ‘leaving’ the area and hadn’t called her to come with me. She just preferred her human companions.
Gretta’s Mom, I know how difficult this time is for you and I’m so sorry you have to go through it. Please know that you are not alone and many of the people on this site have or have had a similar connection with their beloved non-human family members. You will continue to be in my prayers and I hope your heart begins to lighten soon.
Take care and please let me know how you’re doing.
Peggy (the human)
P.S. Peggy (Lady Pegasus) already shared my name, long before she came to us. We knew she was meant to be our dog as soon as we heard what her name was.
Hi Peggy (the human)
Are you sure you're not describing my Gretta dog? Never barked, never jumped, just exuded love, got to be afraid of big dogs - I think she felt she was a human. What a set of coincidences. I got a clean bill of health from the vet on the Thursday before Gretta crossed over. Dr Hinson is the best vet in the world - the absolute best diagnostician I've ever seen - people OR pet doctor. They don't know our dogs like we do - living with them, loving them, knowing their every movement, small of large. How fortunate that you are near Tufts - with a vet school. Just like the U of MN vet school to which I took Mr Waggy. I know we're sisters-in-dog. It couldn't otherwise. Your loss is fresh, like mine. How are YOU doing? I feel like I'm walking around in a daze most of the time. Wherever I look there is something of Gretta's or something that reminds me of her. I guess we'll get through that together, Peggy's mom. My human name is Jeanne. I live in Saint Paul, MN. Later on I'll try to upload Gretta's picture.
Please take care of yourself as we walk this terrible road. It only hurts so much because we love and were loved so much.
Please keep in touch. And here's a head pat for Ms Pegasus!
Gretta's mom (Jeanne)
Are you sure you're not describing my Gretta dog? Never barked, never jumped, just exuded love, got to be afraid of big dogs - I think she felt she was a human. What a set of coincidences. I got a clean bill of health from the vet on the Thursday before Gretta crossed over. Dr Hinson is the best vet in the world - the absolute best diagnostician I've ever seen - people OR pet doctor. They don't know our dogs like we do - living with them, loving them, knowing their every movement, small of large. How fortunate that you are near Tufts - with a vet school. Just like the U of MN vet school to which I took Mr Waggy. I know we're sisters-in-dog. It couldn't otherwise. Your loss is fresh, like mine. How are YOU doing? I feel like I'm walking around in a daze most of the time. Wherever I look there is something of Gretta's or something that reminds me of her. I guess we'll get through that together, Peggy's mom. My human name is Jeanne. I live in Saint Paul, MN. Later on I'll try to upload Gretta's picture.
Please take care of yourself as we walk this terrible road. It only hurts so much because we love and were loved so much.
Please keep in touch. And here's a head pat for Ms Pegasus!
Gretta's mom (Jeanne)
Hi Jeanne,
It's amazing how similar our experiences were. And now that I described a little about Peggy, you can see why your sweet Gretta reminded me of her. It sounds like Gretta and Peggy were twin-souls and we were both blessed to have such amazing creatures grace our lives. I totally understand about walking around in a daze. The shock of the loss rocks you to your very soul and the pain is mind-numbing. I am so grateful for this site and the wonderful, compassionate people I've been fortunate enough to meet while I struggle to traverse this difficult, painful road.
I hope you're able to upload a pic of Gretta, I would love to see her beautiful face. Animals can convey so much with their eyes and the way they hold themselves. I'm sure it will be immediately apparent that she was a special soul whose mission in life was to help others feel they were loved. Could there possibly be a more important mission than that?
I wish I could tell you how long it takes before you can begin really moving on but to tell the truth, it took me several weeks before I could pack up the last of her 3 beds. I still have her toys in the laundry room, in her toy basket and I can't bring myself to pack them up. It makes me sad seeing them but it feels like I'd be packing her away if I take them out of there. One of her favorite toys was a big stuffed teddy bear someone gave her this past Christmas. She was instantly in love when she saw it. She would carry it around with her, drop down on the floor, roll onto her back and take a nap while she held it to her chest with her front paws. I never got a pic of it (meant too but didn't realize time was so short) but it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. After she'd be on her back, and her rear legs splayed to each side, she'd make sure to (upside down) look over to make eye contact with both Mom and I. We'd be cracking up at her and she'd be smiling with her tail wagging until she'd nod off, still clutching her teddy bear. It was beyond adorable. She was such a funny girl.
Peggy was born in North Carolina, was brought to Maine by the breeder and then landed in Massachusetts with me. Quite the world traveler for a dog. I used to take her almost every place I went. Summers on Cape Cod always required a house on the ocean that would allow dogs - it wasn't vacation if she couldn't come along and a house with a private ocean beach ensured she would be allowed to swim. This year, there was a glitch with the house I usually rent and I had to find a new one, the week before she passed. I think it's just as well that we're in a new place this year since there will be no memories of her. However, when I found the house we'll be in this year, my first thought was 'Peggy's gonna love this place', so I think it's going to be tough not having her there. Even if there are no memories of her in that house.
As you can tell, I'm still trying to move beyond the loss. Not sure that will ever completely happen. Again, I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position. I'm hoping to be around more in the coming weeks, depending on how my work schedule pans out. However, if you ever need to reach out for support, please feel free to contact me at my personal e-mail address. I can usually make time to check that in the evenings, when I'm home. When I'm traveling for work, I can't check it but if you'd like, I can send you a private message with my work e-mail in it and you can contact me there if you need to. I'm actually thinking ahead a bit, to the day you pick up her remains (if you haven't already). It's so much harder than you'd think. I was a basket case when I went to Tufts that day - and I went alone because I'm a 'tough cookie' and can handle anything on my own. I think I scared the heck out of the staff there.
Please keep me posted and let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help you through this experience - and give Gretta a psychic kiss on the head from me!
Take care.
Peggy (my real name)
It's amazing how similar our experiences were. And now that I described a little about Peggy, you can see why your sweet Gretta reminded me of her. It sounds like Gretta and Peggy were twin-souls and we were both blessed to have such amazing creatures grace our lives. I totally understand about walking around in a daze. The shock of the loss rocks you to your very soul and the pain is mind-numbing. I am so grateful for this site and the wonderful, compassionate people I've been fortunate enough to meet while I struggle to traverse this difficult, painful road.
I hope you're able to upload a pic of Gretta, I would love to see her beautiful face. Animals can convey so much with their eyes and the way they hold themselves. I'm sure it will be immediately apparent that she was a special soul whose mission in life was to help others feel they were loved. Could there possibly be a more important mission than that?
I wish I could tell you how long it takes before you can begin really moving on but to tell the truth, it took me several weeks before I could pack up the last of her 3 beds. I still have her toys in the laundry room, in her toy basket and I can't bring myself to pack them up. It makes me sad seeing them but it feels like I'd be packing her away if I take them out of there. One of her favorite toys was a big stuffed teddy bear someone gave her this past Christmas. She was instantly in love when she saw it. She would carry it around with her, drop down on the floor, roll onto her back and take a nap while she held it to her chest with her front paws. I never got a pic of it (meant too but didn't realize time was so short) but it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. After she'd be on her back, and her rear legs splayed to each side, she'd make sure to (upside down) look over to make eye contact with both Mom and I. We'd be cracking up at her and she'd be smiling with her tail wagging until she'd nod off, still clutching her teddy bear. It was beyond adorable. She was such a funny girl.
Peggy was born in North Carolina, was brought to Maine by the breeder and then landed in Massachusetts with me. Quite the world traveler for a dog.
I used to take her almost every place I went. Summers on Cape Cod always required a house on the ocean that would allow dogs - it wasn't vacation if she couldn't come along and a house with a private ocean beach ensured she would be allowed to swim. This year, there was a glitch with the house I usually rent and I had to find a new one, the week before she passed. I think it's just as well that we're in a new place this year since there will be no memories of her. However, when I found the house we'll be in this year, my first thought was 'Peggy's gonna love this place', so I think it's going to be tough not having her there. Even if there are no memories of her in that house.As you can tell, I'm still trying to move beyond the loss. Not sure that will ever completely happen. Again, I am so sorry that you find yourself in this position. I'm hoping to be around more in the coming weeks, depending on how my work schedule pans out. However, if you ever need to reach out for support, please feel free to contact me at my personal e-mail address. I can usually make time to check that in the evenings, when I'm home. When I'm traveling for work, I can't check it but if you'd like, I can send you a private message with my work e-mail in it and you can contact me there if you need to. I'm actually thinking ahead a bit, to the day you pick up her remains (if you haven't already). It's so much harder than you'd think. I was a basket case when I went to Tufts that day - and I went alone because I'm a 'tough cookie' and can handle anything on my own. I think I scared the heck out of the staff there.
Please keep me posted and let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help you through this experience - and give Gretta a psychic kiss on the head from me!
Take care.
Peggy (my real name)
[size="3"][/size] Hi Gretta's Mom,
This is Trevor's Mom here, sending you a bunch of love and support this afternoon. Trevor and I love you so very much and wish we could make things even just a bit easier. You were the best mom to Gretta, every single day. And you still had/have energy to listen to me about Trevor. How hard that must be for you!
You are also the best sister in the world. Always have been, always will be.
I love you!
XOXOxo
This is Trevor's Mom here, sending you a bunch of love and support this afternoon. Trevor and I love you so very much and wish we could make things even just a bit easier. You were the best mom to Gretta, every single day. And you still had/have energy to listen to me about Trevor. How hard that must be for you!
You are also the best sister in the world. Always have been, always will be.
I love you!
XOXOxo
Hi Jeanne,
Like Bobbie, you have been very much on my mind today and I hope you were able to find something to smile about. The first few weeks of adjustment are the most difficult (in my humble opinion). After 7 weeks, I still find myself startled when I do something 'Peggy related' and then realize she's not here. However, the terrible sadness I feel when I instantly remember she's gone, is not immediatly accompanied by tears, unlike the first few weeks when controling them was beyond my ability (as a rule, I am not a crier). Please allow yourself to grieve in whatever way works best for you. There is no roadmap or timeline to this process. Nobody else understands the depths of your connection to another living being so please allow yourself to find your way through and allow whatever you need for time, without pressuring yourself to 'get through it already'. As I read in someone else's post on this site (I wish I could remember where so I could properly cite - and I'm paraphrasing here), 'it's not possible to sustain that depth of emotional pain indefinitely and it will eventually subside'. It's so true. The initial pain that just takes your breath away and makes it difficult to draw breath back into the body will eventually shift to a deep sadness. You'll feel the sting of tears in the back of your eyes but you'll be able to control your reaction. That will eventually shift as well and so it goes, until we're finally able to think of our beloved pets without a crushing sense of loss.
You and I (and Bobbie) all seem to be very much on the same wave-length. I"m still amazed at how similar our experiences were. While the 2 of you are actual sisters, I have to agree with you that we're dog-soul-sisters or sisters-in-dog. I like them both and I'm not sure which I should use here! Since I have 3 brothers but was never blessed with sisters (or maybe they weren't cursed with me, I was a terror growing up! LOL), I'm going to take your willingness to include me in your speical circle as a huge compliment and I thank you for that heart-warming compliment. Jeanne, please know that you are not alone - and I have no doubt that Bobbie is much better at offering comfort and support than she takes credit for. You are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this dark and painful road. I promise you, your heart will heal and someday, you will be able to remember her with regret that she's no longer with you but that intense pain will pass and mostly you'll smile at her memory. As you said earlier, we feel the pain so deeply becasue we loved and were loved so deeply (paraphrasing again so please forgive me for not quoting verbatim). Please take some time for youself throughout the week to do something that will make you feel pampered. You need to treat yourself as kindly as possible so you can help yourself heal.
Take care and I'll be praying for and sending healing thoughts to you.
Peggy
P.S. I was just reading a reply Bobbie wrote to me and I had to come back to add to my post. Jeanne, I want to remind you of how special you are. It takes a very special person to adopt an older dog, especially if they had an abusive background. When adopting an older dog, you go into knowing you are opening your heart and your home to a being who very likely has a very finite amount of time left before you'll have to say good-bye. Especially with a purebred dog. Many people are not able to handle making a connection that will only last a few years at best. I realize that getting a puppy doesn't ensure you'll have 12 or 16 years with them but the odds are good that you'll have many years before infirmity creeps up and steals them away. With an older, purebred dog, it's almost a sure thing that you'll only have a couple or few years to enjoy their company. Only a person with a great capacity for love and a willingness to focus on the needs of another would willingly take that on. You are a very giving, caring person to have taken that on and opened you heart to Gretta. I don't doubt for one second that she deserved all you brougt to her life but please remind yourself that many people would not have given her the chance to enter their hearts, out of fear of having to deal with her loss. You are a wonderful person and I hope you never doubt that. I wish you a peace-filled night with happy dreams (visits) from Mr. Waggy Tail.
Like Bobbie, you have been very much on my mind today and I hope you were able to find something to smile about. The first few weeks of adjustment are the most difficult (in my humble opinion). After 7 weeks, I still find myself startled when I do something 'Peggy related' and then realize she's not here. However, the terrible sadness I feel when I instantly remember she's gone, is not immediatly accompanied by tears, unlike the first few weeks when controling them was beyond my ability (as a rule, I am not a crier). Please allow yourself to grieve in whatever way works best for you. There is no roadmap or timeline to this process. Nobody else understands the depths of your connection to another living being so please allow yourself to find your way through and allow whatever you need for time, without pressuring yourself to 'get through it already'. As I read in someone else's post on this site (I wish I could remember where so I could properly cite - and I'm paraphrasing here), 'it's not possible to sustain that depth of emotional pain indefinitely and it will eventually subside'. It's so true. The initial pain that just takes your breath away and makes it difficult to draw breath back into the body will eventually shift to a deep sadness. You'll feel the sting of tears in the back of your eyes but you'll be able to control your reaction. That will eventually shift as well and so it goes, until we're finally able to think of our beloved pets without a crushing sense of loss.
You and I (and Bobbie) all seem to be very much on the same wave-length. I"m still amazed at how similar our experiences were. While the 2 of you are actual sisters, I have to agree with you that we're dog-soul-sisters or sisters-in-dog. I like them both and I'm not sure which I should use here!
Since I have 3 brothers but was never blessed with sisters (or maybe they weren't cursed with me, I was a terror growing up! LOL), I'm going to take your willingness to include me in your speical circle as a huge compliment and I thank you for that heart-warming compliment. Jeanne, please know that you are not alone - and I have no doubt that Bobbie is much better at offering comfort and support than she takes credit for. You are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this dark and painful road. I promise you, your heart will heal and someday, you will be able to remember her with regret that she's no longer with you but that intense pain will pass and mostly you'll smile at her memory. As you said earlier, we feel the pain so deeply becasue we loved and were loved so deeply (paraphrasing again so please forgive me for not quoting verbatim). Please take some time for youself throughout the week to do something that will make you feel pampered. You need to treat yourself as kindly as possible so you can help yourself heal.Take care and I'll be praying for and sending healing thoughts to you.
Peggy
P.S. I was just reading a reply Bobbie wrote to me and I had to come back to add to my post. Jeanne, I want to remind you of how special you are. It takes a very special person to adopt an older dog, especially if they had an abusive background. When adopting an older dog, you go into knowing you are opening your heart and your home to a being who very likely has a very finite amount of time left before you'll have to say good-bye. Especially with a purebred dog. Many people are not able to handle making a connection that will only last a few years at best. I realize that getting a puppy doesn't ensure you'll have 12 or 16 years with them but the odds are good that you'll have many years before infirmity creeps up and steals them away. With an older, purebred dog, it's almost a sure thing that you'll only have a couple or few years to enjoy their company. Only a person with a great capacity for love and a willingness to focus on the needs of another would willingly take that on. You are a very giving, caring person to have taken that on and opened you heart to Gretta. I don't doubt for one second that she deserved all you brougt to her life but please remind yourself that many people would not have given her the chance to enter their hearts, out of fear of having to deal with her loss. You are a wonderful person and I hope you never doubt that. I wish you a peace-filled night with happy dreams (visits) from Mr. Waggy Tail.
Hi Jeanne,
Here are the pics of your beautiful Gretta, compressed so they can be uploaded to this site.
Hope you're doing well.
Take care,
Peggy
Here are the pics of your beautiful Gretta, compressed so they can be uploaded to this site.
Hope you're doing well.
Take care,
Peggy
Hi, Jeanne, I'm just being able to get caught up on your thread, and I want to thank Peggy for helping you post the beautiful pictures of your precious Gretta. What a beautiful girl she is, and I do mean is - - for she is eternally loved, and love never dies or dwindles or diminishes.
Jeanne, I wish there were some magic words of wisdom or insight that I could share with you that could take the pain of your deep grief and sorrow away from you. Unfortunately, I know there are no adequate words in any language that can do this. Peggy has offered you the most comforting wisdom I could ever hope to give, so please read her loving notes to you often.
Jeanne, I hope today is being kind to you wherever you are and whatever you do. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Jeanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Jeanne, I wish there were some magic words of wisdom or insight that I could share with you that could take the pain of your deep grief and sorrow away from you. Unfortunately, I know there are no adequate words in any language that can do this. Peggy has offered you the most comforting wisdom I could ever hope to give, so please read her loving notes to you often.
Jeanne, I hope today is being kind to you wherever you are and whatever you do. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Jeanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Jeanne,
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and wishing you a peace filled day. I hope you're feeling a little better than the other day. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care,
Peggy
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and wishing you a peace filled day. I hope you're feeling a little better than the other day. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care,
Peggy
Hi Peggy,
Thank you for sticking with me and for your comfort and understanding. What would I do without it? You know what it's like looking all over for your loved one and fining her spirit but not her physical form. Sometimes I read postings on this site just to get the sadness out. Like many of us, I'm sure, I have to put on a "public face" during the day. Evening I can talk to my Gretta eeven though I can't see her. And have the assurance that I'm NOT crazy - just loved. Thank you SO much Peggy's mom, and Peggy's mom's mom.
Gretta's mom Jeanne
Thank you for sticking with me and for your comfort and understanding. What would I do without it? You know what it's like looking all over for your loved one and fining her spirit but not her physical form. Sometimes I read postings on this site just to get the sadness out. Like many of us, I'm sure, I have to put on a "public face" during the day. Evening I can talk to my Gretta eeven though I can't see her. And have the assurance that I'm NOT crazy - just loved. Thank you SO much Peggy's mom, and Peggy's mom's mom.
Gretta's mom Jeanne
Thank you SO much Peggy's mom, and Peggy's mom's mom.
Gretta's mom Jeanne
[/quote]
Hi Gretta's mom Jeanne,
Glad you're up an about again and want to thank you for the laugh. I just read you response to Mom, after prefacing it with 'hey, now you get to be a double-double (double-double previously being Peggy The Human and Peggy The Dog). She got to be Peggy's mom's mom. Totally cracked her up! She (and I both) send our love and hope you're doing well today!
Take care and I hope you enjoy a happy weekend!
Peggy (The Human) and
Peggy's Mom's Mom (LOL)
Gretta's mom Jeanne
[/quote]
Hi Gretta's mom Jeanne,
Glad you're up an about again and want to thank you for the laugh. I just read you response to Mom, after prefacing it with 'hey, now you get to be a double-double (double-double previously being Peggy The Human and Peggy The Dog). She got to be Peggy's mom's mom. Totally cracked her up! She (and I both) send our love and hope you're doing well today!
Take care and I hope you enjoy a happy weekend!
Peggy (The Human) and
Peggy's Mom's Mom (LOL)
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