I hope it's OK to post this because it came from another website. These words are amazing... I printed them out and put them up in my cube at work. I hope that I can learn to live by these words and I hope that everyone on this website can do the same.


"The only way I can get him back is to be happy, to feel peace in my heart, to live the way he showed me to live, and to make use of the gifts he gave me." --Unknown

I found these wise words scribbled on a piece of scrap paper when I was sorting through a pile of papers on my desk. The words were surrounded by quotation marks, which usually means I wrote them down while talking to someone on the telephone. This time, though, I forgot to make note of the speaker!

And I regret that because whoever spoke these profound words deserves credit for understanding the key to healing our feelings of grief.

Grieving doesn't mean replaying hurtful memories over and over again in our minds. And it doesn't mean continuing to relive the painful feelings we associate with loss either. Yet, that's what many of us believe grief to be: Feeling lousy. Staying with the sadness. Living less than whole lives.

It's as if we believe we have been "chosen" to bear the pain of losing someone dear to us and now we must "honor" that task by never feeling joy again. Continuing to grieve, we believe, keeps us connected to the loved one who has died. It would be disloyal to feel anything else!

Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

The process of grieving is simply another name for the process of healing. Grieving means finding the love that remains even though loss has occurred.

When we focus our minds on the memories of what our loved one taught us and gave us and, when we incorporate those lessons into who we are now, we find meaning and personal growth.

Our loved ones who die, especially our pets who love us unconditionally, don't want us to feel lousy out of loyalty to them! Hey, they loved us! And anyone who truly loves you wants you to be happy, right?

If you're feeling sad and depressed because you're grieving, allow yourself to truly FEEL those feelings, down to the tips of your toes, and then release them and move on to the feelings of love.

Feel peace in your heart and make use of the gifts your pet or your human loved one gave you.

Rhapsedy,

Thank you soooo much for sharing this. What a wonderful article, and it is so very true.




I loved the whole thing, but this part touched me the most. Probably because, for me, this was the 'turning point' in my own grief journey. Early on, I was constantly drowning in the sorrow of not having her physical presence with me; but as soon as I realised that a part of her IS still with me, and that the love I have for her will NEVER die and infact only continue to get stronger, then this is when I finally started to see light again.

I hope all those new to loss, and new to this forum, read this over and over, and take note.

Thanks again,
Cheryl x

Hi, Rhapsedy, thank you so much for sharing this wonderful insight with us. Cheryl has said everything I could say, and said it so very well. Our beloved companions do want us to remember them with a happy heart, and what you have shared with each of us gives hope that this is possible as our deep grief lessens.

Rhapsedy, thank you again for your wonderful post. I hope today is being kind to you, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peaace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Cheryl,

That is what I struggle with too... not having Barney's physical presence with me. I'm going to read this over and over until I realize that my love for him will never die just because he is no longer with me physically.

Does anyone know how I can add this to the Important Topics group?

Hi, Rhapsedy, you will need to contact the L S Administrator. He is the one who makes the decisions about what is "pinned" and what stays in the individual topic forums.

I hope today is being kind to you, Rhapsedy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Yes, I was going to suggest that this should be "pinned" as it's very helpful -- and I'm sure all those new to the forum would benefit greatly from it.

Cheryl x

"The only way I can get him back is to be happy, to feel peace in my heart, to live the way he showed me to live, and to make use of the gifts he gave me." --Unknown

Hi Rhapsedy,

I hope you're doing well. You've been on my mind a lot the past several weeks and I hope things have improved for you. Thank you for sharing the quote. It is so true and yet, the hard part is getting back to that place of happiness. I hope you are finding (or have found) your way back.

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Peggy (the human)