My cat Precious died on the 8th. We had to put her down. I have had a dog since I was 7 and he is now 14. This is the first time I have lost a furbaby. She was my Grandma's cat but I loved her very much. When my Grandma moved in almost a year ago she brought her kitty. Precious and I became really close. At first she was an indoor/outdoor cat. She loved to run across the yard when someone opened the back door. She started having a throwing up problem though in the early fall. We took her to the vet in early November to see if there was anything wrong with her. The vet did testing and took an xray. We found out she had feline aids. Her lungs on the xray also did not look good. She would cough and throw up a lot but she stopped throwing a couple of weeks later. She would cough every now and then.

She became an indoor only cat after we found out she had feline aids. She would go outside with supervision most of the time afterward but sometimes would escape. I did some researching about feline aids and I thought she might live a good while. After that visit in November though I spent as much time with her as I could. She had a little bed in the corner of my room. I'm allergic to cats but sometimes I would let her get on my bed when she wasn't supposed to. I had a special shirt I used when I held her. She loved to have her belly rubbed and liked getting attention. She would roll around on her back while I sang to her. Then in late February I noticed she started coughing more often. She began to have the throwing up problem again but other than that she seemed healthy. She played and exercised, ate well, and napped.

But on Tuesday March 8th I walked into the family room and she was on my chair having problems breathing. My mom called the vet while I was getting dressed. Precious had moved from the chair in the family room and was hiding under my bed. It was hard to get her out from under my bed but the poor kitty was wheezing and gasping. She put up a fight getting into the pet carrier and she got lose and ended up under the bed again. Once we got her in the car I sang to her. She was so scared. I was scared too because I was thinking about how her lungs had not looked good in November. She was seen immediatley by the vet. He listened to her breathe and checked her out. He had her put in an oxygen chamber and told us that he would be back in a minute to discuss our options. When he left the room I started crying. When he came back he sad that she could pass away at any moment and that if we had not found her earlier breathing like that we would have eventually found dead because she was going to die. She was really suffering. He said that he could run some tests and take an xray to see what was in her lungs but he thought that she was not going to make it that long. My mom and I decided to put her down because she was suffering like that. The tech brought the kitty back in the room and she was looking worse. I kept petting and petting her but she seemed to be in so much pain to even notice. She was struggling to breathe. I sang to her one more time before the doctor came back in. I was petting her head when she passed. Afterward some blood came out of her nose and the doctor said that she did have fluid in her lungs. She had a pulmonary hemorrhage. The doctor was surprised that she had lived this long since November because of her lungs and the feline aids. We took her home and buried her in the backyard. I loved Precious and really miss her. I have been crying on and off since Tuesday. This all happened so fast. She was a young kitty she was around three and a half. I only had her for around 11 months since my Grandma moved in. My grandma had the kitty for about a year before she moved in. Since the 8th I have felt awful. I have been crying and feel so anxious. I keep expecting to see her in her chair or in the corner. Thank you for any support.

I love you Precious Kitty.

Hi, OceanJewel, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Precious. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

OceanJewel, I do so understand the deep sorrow that is in your heart, and especially losing your beloved Precious at such a young and tender age. Not since my years as a little girl have I had to endure such a loss, until December 2006 when my number one kitty son, Eli, joined the angels at 6 years of age and again on March 15, 2010, when my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle joined the angels also at 6 years of age - - the both of them due to two different forms of cancer. It doesn't matter if it's our first, fifth, tenth, - - or hundredth loss of a beloved companion - - the grief journey is a painful one both emotionally and physically. And it doesn't matter how old we are when our beloved companions precede us to the angels - - younger or older - - the grief journey is a painful one both emotionally and physically.

OceanJewel, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, and one that is filled with so many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds sometimes overwhelming us all at the same time. It is often referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. I'm so glad you found this forum so that you will know you are not alone in your journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you every step of your journey for as long and as often as you need us.

OceanJewel, thank you so much for sharing your beloved Precious with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to posting a picture(s) of her and sharing some of your cherished memories with us. And I hope and pray that you will come to know that your beloved Precious is forever with you in your heart and memories - - she is always a heartbeat close to you sharing your life just as she always has and always will.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, OceanJewel, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear OceanJewel.

So glad that you found this site to share with us how you are feeling. I want to offer you my condolences on the loss of Precious. It must be hard to have lost her at such a young age but sounds like you were a wonderful companion to your (and Grandma's kitty). She certainly knew she was loved. Illness and death are not always preventable and that is a hard lesson to learn at any age. I am sorry that you are learning this so young. Please keep coming here to share or read posts to help you heal. How is your dog? Were Precious and the dog friends? Is he missig her too?

Thinking of you and hope you will be back again to tell us how you are soon.

you wrote:

"I keep expecting to see her in her chair or in the corner. "

Man I know that feeling. I see my boy everwhere. This process is so painful. I don't know how I will get though summer, Finn's favorite time where he owned his universe (our yard) and was an omnipresent being.

My heart aches for you. It's so hard to see them suffer but they entrust you to do what is best and needed. And you did that. I wish humans had more of the luxury of entrusting those who love them most to be able to make the most painful decisions.

Precious knew you were there for her at the moment she needed you most. I've been in the same position a few times and was at least comforted by that thought. I know it does little to ease the pain of missing her beautiful eyes staring up at you for a good pet and coo. But she knows you did what what needed.

I mourn your loss and want to tell you that in time the hurt will be more manageable. But it will never truly go away. And it shouldn't. That is the price of love and it's worth it in the end. You may not feel that now, but you will. My heart is with you. My aching heart and all the others here have aching hearts and truly understand how you feel.

I've been asking myself lately, why do I bother to bring in a creature that I fall in love with knowing their lifespan is so much shorter than my own? And after losing some to death, I question it even more. Why open oneself up to such heartache?

Then I remember my 18 yr old Cholla. I got 18 years of joy and one of pure suck as she succumbed to disease. 18 vs 1. I guess that answers my question.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. You will bounce between good days and bad and we would love to be a part of both.

cyber hugs to my fellow grieving fur parent,,

ConnieJ

Oceanjewel so sorry for your loss. It is difficult to do what you did but as Moon_Beam stated it IS the last gift of love. Time will help you heal and you will always have granddma's furbaby in your heart. I too understand your pain as I had to put my girl down on 3/15. We are here for you.