Tuesday will be 3 months to the day my precious Thomas passed. Lately I find I almost have to make myself think about him. I have not had any visitations/dreams in weeks. What is wrong with me? Did I not love him as much as I thought? Is this his way of forcing me to move on? The tears do not come as easily, sometimes I just feel "blank". Poor Theresa misses him very much, I think. She will wander the apartment just crying at the top of her lungs (looking for him, I suspect) or try to engage me in games of "chase me" as she had done with Tom - Even when I call her or go find her when she cries, it seems to bring her little comfort. I have come to discover the only thing that hurts more than living with Tom's "ghost" is living without it.....

Dear Tom's Dad

There is certainly nothing wrong with you, and you most certainly couldn't have loved your precious Tom any more than you did, and still do. I am thinking back to three months after losing my Angel girls and with both I experienced similar to what you are describing. I think that maybe our brains are trying to make us move on, although our hearts won't let us, causing us to feel very mixed up and sort of confused. The dreams of Tom will come back, I'm sure and also Happy memories of him. It's still very early days for you and Theresa, but look after each other, have lots of cuddles and talks about Tom, in a calm soothing way, if you can, and I'm sure you will both feel able to carry on, and be happy as Tom would wish.
Please know that I am thinking of you, your precious Angel Tom, and Theresa.

Jan and my Angels and Pixie

Hi, Tom's Dad, just want to say that Jan has said my thoughts so very well. You are not forgetting your precious Tom - - you never will. He is always a part of you - - always a heartbeat close to you - - whether or not you perceive him consciously.

Please read Jan's reply to you as frequently as you need to. Her words are very reassuring, and please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Jan and moon_beam - It's been very difficult. Theresa's latest thing is to hide away on the blanket in the cubby under the coffee table. It was one the places Tom liked to to go toward the end and I guess it still smells like him. I guess I just could not bring myself to take it out and wash it or what ever. I don't know if I should take it out and wash it or let it be. I'd hate to take away anything that gives her comfort :S

Hi, Tom's Dad, please leave the towel where it is. This is important for your precious Teresa to have for comfort. My Noah slept on his big adopted kitty brother's comforter for close to 2.5 years before he "abandoned" it, and I waited several weeks more to make sure that he was no longer visiting it before I finally washed. I still have his baby sister's towel that she laid on when I brought her home from the vet so that he could make his final respects to her laid out, and he still visits the towel, so it remains where it is for his comfort.

I know this can be very disconcerting for you - - you feel at a loss to know how to help your precious Teresa with her grief, but truly you are doing a very good job, Tom's Dad. She just needs to have your love and reassurance, and there's no doubt you are there for her.

Tom's Dad, please know you and your precious little girl are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks moon_beam. I think I had decided to leave the blanket where it is, I just needed affirmation that it's the right thing to do.