I lost my first pet when I was 10 and I thought I would die.

When I was 20 I lost my beloved labrador, and it took me 8 years before I could even look at another dog.

Last week, it happened again, and it hurts more than any pain I've ever felt in my life. No broken bone, gunshot wound or cranial fracture can compare to this.

They say a good way to combat the grief of losing a pet is to immediately go out & rescue another one, and I agree with that. But, heaven help me, it never gets any easier, does it?

Dear Scooby,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious dog. The pain from loosing an animal companion is so intense that there is little in life that prepares us for it. And the pain of this grief is not any easier having gone through it before. Please know that I share your pain.

I'm trying to adopt another rescue dog having lost my beautiful girl about 6 wks. ago, but no other dog will replace her.

Hope you will let us know how you are doing, and when you are ready, maybe you can post of pic of your beloved dog.

With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna

Dear 'Scooby',

I am so sorry for your loss. No, it certaintly does not get any easier. Losing a beloved companion is one of the most difficult things we can experience. The grief is immense; accompanied with a whole host of other painful emotions - such as guilt, anger, depression, loneliness, and many more.

I don't believe it can be "combated" by adopting another pet. Sometimes rushing into the decision to adopt again can infact make matters worse. Unfortunately, there is no fast way out of this painful grief - we just have to go through it and try to "adjust" to our new lives without the physical presence of our beloved pets. Hopefully, we can learn to open our hearts to the fact that a part of them is still here with us, and always will be. Forever in our hearts and memories.

Take care of yourself, and just take it each day at a time.

Cheryl x

Hi Scooby.
I am new to the group. I am grieving like you and I agree that it never gets easier. You are not alone and have my support. Ohev

Hi, Scooby, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved companion. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. It doesn't matter if it's our first, fifth, tenth, twentieth, fiftieth - - of thousandth - - this grief journey is very painful - - both emotionally and physically. And with each loss it takes time to adjust to the "new normal". Some folks are able to adopt quickly, some folks prefer to wait until their deep grief has eased, and some folks are comfortable cherishing their memories. Adoption after the physical loss of a beloved companion is truly a very personal decision.

Scooby, thank you so much for sharing with us about your beloved companion, and I hope in time you will feel up to sharing with us about your precious companion, and perhaps a picture(s). Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Scooby, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks Juturna, Cheryl, Ohev & moon_beam. Your words & commiseration are much appreciated.

I'm pretty sure I'll survive this & learn to love another pooch eventually, but what's alarming is how much it hurts more each time. It's like a wound that becomes a scar, and then you get cut in the same spot again. And again. It gets worse & worse, uglier & uglier, more & more sensitive, until I suppose eventually you're completely mutilated.

That's probably a lousy &%^ogy, but it's the only one I could think of.

I agree with Cheryl that a "rebound" adoption rarely, if ever, fills the void. But one thing it does do is that it creates a distraction. My girl was an abused dog whom I rescued 10 years ago. The very day she died--that same morning--I was back at the local animal control rescuing other dogs who were about to be put down.

2 of them are at my feet right now. There are 3 others I found homes for. Are 5 lives equal to the price of the 1 that I lost? Not even close. How about if I save 50? 500? Like you said, Juturna, no other dog or dogs will replace her. But this serves as a distraction, and I'll keep doing it because it helps me sleep at night. Whether or not this is a true cure or just a "drug" I don't know. I guess I'll find out if I crash.

Ideally I'd forget about dogs completely, go party on the Riviera & a few years later this will all be a forgotten nightmare. But will that accomplish anything for the world? Maybe I'm an idiotic masochist, but I feel like I have to dive right back into saving dogs, otherwise her death would be completely meaningless. The problem is that I know it's going to keep hurting more & more.

Jeez well thanks for listening to my meanderings. I don't know if any of it makes sense (none of it makes sense to me). I wish I could post a picture of my girl, but I can't bring myself to look at those pics. And I don't think they'd do her any justice anyway.

Years ago, I stumbled on a news photo of a man whose house had burned down and who lost everything but his dog. That photo pretty much summarizes how I felt about my girl every single day...



Thanks again for all your support, everyone. I sincerely hope you each find your respective "cures", whatever those may be.

Hi, Scooby, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Each of us must find our own way of coping through this grief journey. There is no one "right" way. The lives you save are eternally grateful to you, Scooby, and it is heartwarming to read your accounts of your precious companions. The pain of physically losing their precious presence with us is the price we pay for surrendering ourselves to them completely. The good news is that the love bond we share with our beloved companions - - each and every one of them - - is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space.

Thank you also for the picture you shared with us - - a picture truly does say a thousand words.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Scooby, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Scooby,

I loved reading how you rescue dogs. You are saving lives! What a beautiful way to cope with loss. And if this helps you with the grief, then it is working for you. As Moon_bean said, there is no "right way" to deal with loss. The day after my beautiful Victoria was euthanized, I was back on my animal advocacy sites promoting legislation for animal rights.

Yes, the grief is not any easier just because we have gone through it before. And like you, I found it more painful this time than last.

Thank you for sharing the heartfelt photo.

Hope you have a peaceful eveing.
With serenity and gratitude,
Juturna

That is an outstanding photo. The man still has his baby and that alone will get him through it. What wonderful blessings these little creatures are.

My heart is with you. I always have a special place for men when I read these things because society doesn't give them the same freedom to grieve as they do women. It's wrong. I remember once walking in los angeles in a gang infested neighborhood once. There was this what had to be 300 lb man, who looked very tough, all decked out in gangsta attire. He would have been intimidating if not for fact he walking a tiny chihuahua and was doting on it like it was the center of the universe. He loved that little creature and didn't care that the other gangstas, with their unneutered pit bulls who weren't far, thought. That singular moment taught me a lot about the bonds between pets and their owners.

I don't even know what gender you are, but that photo sparked that memory and I wanted to share.

About rescue animals, I have a special place in my heart for those who actively engage in the rescuing of animals. I donate to all the typical organizations. In my own experience , the gods have made me a rescue shelter whether I (or my husband) wanted it or not. Just when I lose one animal due to old age or some some other death, one or more cats show up in my life that need homes. I must have a mark on me.

So you may not have a choice when one day (soon or not so soon), you see those big sad eyes asking you for a home and voila. Your question is answered.

You have a loving heart and that's part of why it's so painful to lose a beloved friend. I'm so sorry you hurt..I'm in the same boat now, for four weeks. But I have a feeling your heart will end up being bigger than your grief and with the applause of your beautiful pooch you'll make yet another loving home for one who craves it. We just can't escape how we were built.

The pain sucks big though. I sure wish it would go away for both of us... I miss my boy so much right now.

ConnieJ