Full Version: Can't Get It Out Of My Head
I have posted here about the loss of my sweet Sir Thomas 12/08/2010 - I have made some updates and revelations and received much appreciated words of support. What I have not talked about, but can't get the image out of my head, are the details of that night. I came home from work around 8:00PM to find him seemingly lifeless on the cold bathroom floor. I had thought perhaps he was hanging on because about every ten seconds or so it seemed he was gasping for air. But, the emergency vet nurse on the phone said since I could not detect breathing or a heartbeat, and his eyes were unresponsive, he was most likely gone and it was just a reflex action of his lungs shutting down. His death was confirmed when I got him to the emergency vet across town. But to see him gasping like that was horrible. It also made me think that he could not have been gone long that being the case. He was cremated communally as it's all I could afford, and I had to borrow that money as it was. I'm still paying my cabbie friend back for that and the fare to this day. No burial, no head stone, not even his ashes. Just a clay paw print that the nurse thought to do for me at the last minute. He deserved better, and I can't get any of it out of my head. I'm not sure I ever will.
QUOTE (Tom's Dad @ Jan 20 2011, 09:14 PM) 
I have posted here about the loss of my sweet Sir Thomas 12/08/2010 - I have made some updates and revelations and received much appreciated words of support. What I have not talked about, but can't get the image out of my head, are the details of that night. I came home from work around 8:00PM to find him seemingly lifeless on the cold bathroom floor. I had thought perhaps he was hanging on because about every ten seconds or so it seemed he was gasping for air. But, the emergency vet nurse on the phone said since I could not detect breathing or a heartbeat, and his eyes were unresponsive, he was most likely gone and it was just a reflex action of his lungs shutting down. His death was confirmed when I got him to the emergency vet across town. But to see him gasping like that was horrible. It also made me think that he could not have been gone long that being the case. He was cremated communally as it's all I could afford, and I had to borrow that money as it was. I'm still paying my cabbie friend back for that and the fare to this day. No burial, no head stone, not even his ashes. Just a clay paw print that the nurse thought to do for me at the last minute. He deserved better, and I can't get any of it out of my head. I'm not sure I ever will.
So sorry to hear about ur loss. I am also greiving the loss of my cat that I had to make the decision to have him euthanized day before yesterday. I have cried ever since, and feel as though I made the wrong decision. I keep seeing his little paw reaching for my sweater as I held him at the vet's office to tell him bye. He even purred and now I feel so awful for taking his life away from him. I don't think I will ever be the same. It is so hard when you have a pet that you love so much and then have to say goodbye to.
I have watched many humans die and they too have those last slow breaths but it is not really gasping. I do not think Tom was aware of anything at that point but he had probably already gone someplace else (Rainbow Bridge, heaven, or whatever you believe). I have also learned that people and animals die in their own time and perhaps he wanted to be alone when he died.
I can only imagine that you took wonderful care of him while he was alive but it sounds like you are feeling guilty for not making it home in time to be with him at the end. Easy for me to say, but not to do either, that you should try to focus on the good memories. I do know that guilt is also a very normal part of the grief process. I also had one of my beloved cats cremated communally. I regretted it for a long time but it was too late. The memories of his last days and that cremation have definitely faded with time. Key word is time. It is so fresh for you that you are replaying that night over and over. I hope for you that you will be kind to yourself and try to realize that you did everything you could for Sir Tom.
joanne
I can only imagine that you took wonderful care of him while he was alive but it sounds like you are feeling guilty for not making it home in time to be with him at the end. Easy for me to say, but not to do either, that you should try to focus on the good memories. I do know that guilt is also a very normal part of the grief process. I also had one of my beloved cats cremated communally. I regretted it for a long time but it was too late. The memories of his last days and that cremation have definitely faded with time. Key word is time. It is so fresh for you that you are replaying that night over and over. I hope for you that you will be kind to yourself and try to realize that you did everything you could for Sir Tom.
joanne
Thanks for the kind words of support. I still can't bring myself to throw out his insulin, syringes, or the latest in the long line of meds to control the diahrea. Yes, with just Theresa here, clean up is a snap. But I'd trade it all for just one more day.....
I used to work for a hospice and I also had the experience of seeing people die in their own time. Some people would hold on much longer than we thought they could until a loved one reached their bedside. Others waited until their loved ones left for five minutes and then slipped away. Loved ones often felt terribly guilty for not being there are that moment but I really believed that some found it easier to leave that way.
You say Tom deserved better, but it sounds like you gave him the best care during his life. I don't just mean the best care you could afford, I mean the best care he could have gotten. Not being there when he left or not being able to afford the type of cremation you might have liked, well, I truly understand that those things are hard on you but I don't believe they were hard on Tom. What mattered to Tom was getting the love and care he needed while he was with you and he got that.
Magdalene
You say Tom deserved better, but it sounds like you gave him the best care during his life. I don't just mean the best care you could afford, I mean the best care he could have gotten. Not being there when he left or not being able to afford the type of cremation you might have liked, well, I truly understand that those things are hard on you but I don't believe they were hard on Tom. What mattered to Tom was getting the love and care he needed while he was with you and he got that.
Magdalene
I want to begin this post by apologising for any offence that it may cause. It is far from my intention. I made the choices that were right for me, others have made different choices that were right for them. That's how life is.
Well now that's out of the way I can make a confession. It's hard to do on a site with people who lovingly tend to graves, or move ashes from room to room- but here goes.
I left my baby wrapped in my dressing-gown at the vet's after he was put to sleep. The vet buries her patients when they pass, and my cat was buried in that dressing gown that he loved to snuggle in. She did ask if I wanted help with other arrangements, and when I said no I have to say she looked a little relieved. She said she thought it was best that way as she believed that what was left had very little to do with the pet that I loved so much.
And so I left him. I left him in very capable, loving hands, knowing that he would be properly buried at her home. I figured a vet who was good enough to answer her phone at ten to seven on new years morning (even though the clinic was supposed to be closed) was one who would keep her word. I was afraid that if I had a burial spot or ashes I would become too attached to them and not move on.
And so, without intending to dismiss the choices of others who made different choices to the one that I made I'd like to remind you of what my vet said. Once you pet had passed, what was left here on earth had very little to do with the pet that you loved so much. So don't beat yourself up. You may not have chosen a group cremation, but fate did. The same fate that matched you with the perfect pet for so many years. You can't argue with fate.
Well now that's out of the way I can make a confession. It's hard to do on a site with people who lovingly tend to graves, or move ashes from room to room- but here goes.
I left my baby wrapped in my dressing-gown at the vet's after he was put to sleep. The vet buries her patients when they pass, and my cat was buried in that dressing gown that he loved to snuggle in. She did ask if I wanted help with other arrangements, and when I said no I have to say she looked a little relieved. She said she thought it was best that way as she believed that what was left had very little to do with the pet that I loved so much.
And so I left him. I left him in very capable, loving hands, knowing that he would be properly buried at her home. I figured a vet who was good enough to answer her phone at ten to seven on new years morning (even though the clinic was supposed to be closed) was one who would keep her word. I was afraid that if I had a burial spot or ashes I would become too attached to them and not move on.
And so, without intending to dismiss the choices of others who made different choices to the one that I made I'd like to remind you of what my vet said. Once you pet had passed, what was left here on earth had very little to do with the pet that you loved so much. So don't beat yourself up. You may not have chosen a group cremation, but fate did. The same fate that matched you with the perfect pet for so many years. You can't argue with fate.
Hi, Tom's Dad, I just want to add my two cents to each of these wonderful responses. There is no rush for you to remove Sir Thomas' medications or other items until you are ready to do so. I still have some of Abbygayle's special food in the cupboard and her collar on my bedside night stand, and all of Oslo's toys out and around the living room. Eli's tether is coiled up at the door as well. Tom's Dad, only you can decide when and how you will be ready to make any changes in your home and life. Some people find it comforting to put everything away, some people find it comforting to give some things away. Some people find it comforting to always keep the things that belonged to their precious companions. Whatever you decide, Tom's Dad, is okay.
Tom's Dad, you have the most important part of Sir Thomas always with you: You have his heart brimming with his unconditional love for you. Sir Thomas knows that you love him and always tried to do the very best by him that you could possibly do. You made sure he had his medicines, and you took the best care of him that you could provide. Each of us can only do the very best we can with the resources we have available to us at any given time. The last hours, minutes we have with our beloved companions can be very traumatic. I hope and pray that in time these traumatic memories will be significantly dimmed by the many years of wonderful memories you have of sharing Sir Thomas' earthly journey.
Just take things one day at a time, Tom's Dad, knowing that each of us are here for you, beside you, and with you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Tom's Dad, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad, you have the most important part of Sir Thomas always with you: You have his heart brimming with his unconditional love for you. Sir Thomas knows that you love him and always tried to do the very best by him that you could possibly do. You made sure he had his medicines, and you took the best care of him that you could provide. Each of us can only do the very best we can with the resources we have available to us at any given time. The last hours, minutes we have with our beloved companions can be very traumatic. I hope and pray that in time these traumatic memories will be significantly dimmed by the many years of wonderful memories you have of sharing Sir Thomas' earthly journey.
Just take things one day at a time, Tom's Dad, knowing that each of us are here for you, beside you, and with you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Tom's Dad, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I appreciate all who have assured me I did all I could for Tom. But, what I failed to mention is in an important detail of how I came to have him. He had belonged (I REFUSE to call this person a pet parent) to a former room mate (well, free loader was more like it) While she did abandon him the night she left, she still took me to court. Mainly claiming I was keeping her from getting her stuff. I was reluctant to let her in for fear of losing Tom and other threats that had been lobbed at me. While Tom was not the focus of the charges she made (the prosecuter said "I will not prosicute this case over a cat) she still tried to take him from me. I fought that of course. In the end I agreed to pay 400.00 in so called damages to kill the case so as not to to risk losing him. I felt I was better suited to take care of him. In that moment I had made the commitment to take better care of him. So, my friends, that's where I feel I failed him. I fought for him in court and in the end, I was not able to really give him the care he needed for a longer healthier life. Becuase I had to shoot my mouth off at that job once too often, I lost it, never recouped the pay levels, and Tom paid the ulitimate price.
Hi, Tom's Dad, guilt is a robber of all the good we do. It is as invasive as cancer for it's goal is to kill the wonderful memories we have of our earthly journey with our beloved companions. Its goal is to leave us void of any happiness in our hearts to treasure. This is not what Sir Thomas wants for you, Tom's Dad. He does not want you to be consumed with guilt that will rob you of remembering him and cherishing the earthly journey you shared together - - and the opportunity to feel his sweet Living Spirit now forever with you.
So, my question to you is this: Had your girlfriend regained custody of Sir Thomas would she have made sure that he had his medicines when he needed them - - sacrificing what she wanted or needed for his needs? Would she have loved him and comforted him and taken care of him when she wanted to do something else or be somewhere else? Or would she have just said "enough of this" when things became unpleasant and euthanized him BEFORE he needed to be, or would she have dumped him off somewhere or perhaps brought him to your doorstep and said "here, you can have him" in such bad health that YOU would have had to make the decision to put him at rest? And then how would you feel - - that you had let him go back to her?
Tom's Dad, none of us have the privilege of foresight as to how things are going to work out with the decisions we make and the actions we do. Our furkids accept us for who we are regardless of our employment status, financial means, or social acceptance. Sir Thomas NEVER blamed you for what you weren't able to do for him and always forgives you for your moments of temporary indiscretion. Sir Thomas knows beyond all shadow of a doubt that you love him and did the very best for him that you could under the circumstances at the time. So, please try to put your mind and heart at rest and not allow this horrendous guilt to deprive you of the most precious gift you have - - the gift of having been Sir Thomas' earthly caregiver and the recipient of his eternal love.
Tom's Dad, I hope you will find some comfort and encouragement in what I have shared with you today, and that it will bring hope to your heart. Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
So, my question to you is this: Had your girlfriend regained custody of Sir Thomas would she have made sure that he had his medicines when he needed them - - sacrificing what she wanted or needed for his needs? Would she have loved him and comforted him and taken care of him when she wanted to do something else or be somewhere else? Or would she have just said "enough of this" when things became unpleasant and euthanized him BEFORE he needed to be, or would she have dumped him off somewhere or perhaps brought him to your doorstep and said "here, you can have him" in such bad health that YOU would have had to make the decision to put him at rest? And then how would you feel - - that you had let him go back to her?
Tom's Dad, none of us have the privilege of foresight as to how things are going to work out with the decisions we make and the actions we do. Our furkids accept us for who we are regardless of our employment status, financial means, or social acceptance. Sir Thomas NEVER blamed you for what you weren't able to do for him and always forgives you for your moments of temporary indiscretion. Sir Thomas knows beyond all shadow of a doubt that you love him and did the very best for him that you could under the circumstances at the time. So, please try to put your mind and heart at rest and not allow this horrendous guilt to deprive you of the most precious gift you have - - the gift of having been Sir Thomas' earthly caregiver and the recipient of his eternal love.
Tom's Dad, I hope you will find some comfort and encouragement in what I have shared with you today, and that it will bring hope to your heart. Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jan 23 2011, 01:49 PM)
Hi, Tom's Dad, guilt is a robber of all the good we do. It is as invasive as cancer for it's goal is to kill the wonderful memories we have of our earthly journey with our beloved companions. Its goal is to leave us void of any happiness in our hearts to treasure. This is not what Sir Thomas wants for you, Tom's Dad. He does not want you to be consumed with guilt that will rob you of remembering him and cherishing the earthly journey you shared together - - and the opportunity to feel his sweet Living Spirit now forever with you.
So, my question to you is this: Had your girlfriend regained custody of Sir Thomas would she have made sure that he had his medicines when he needed them - - sacrificing what she wanted or needed for his needs? Would she have loved him and comforted him and taken care of him when she wanted to do something else or be somewhere else? Or would she have just said "enough of this" when things became unpleasant and euthanized him BEFORE he needed to be, or would she have dumped him off somewhere or perhaps brought him to your doorstep and said "here, you can have him" in such bad health that YOU would have had to make the decision to put him at rest? And then how would you feel - - that you had let him go back to her?
Tom's Dad, none of us have the privilege of foresight as to how things are going to work out with the decisions we make and the actions we do. Our furkids accept us for who we are regardless of our employment status, financial means, or social acceptance. Sir Thomas NEVER blamed you for what you weren't able to do for him and always forgives you for your moments of temporary indiscretion. Sir Thomas knows beyond all shadow of a doubt that you love him and did the very best for him that you could under the circumstances at the time. So, please try to put your mind and heart at rest and not allow this horrendous guilt to deprive you of the most precious gift you have - - the gift of having been Sir Thomas' earthly caregiver and the recipient of his eternal love.
Tom's Dad, I hope you will find some comfort and encouragement in what I have shared with you today, and that it will bring hope to your heart. Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
So, my question to you is this: Had your girlfriend regained custody of Sir Thomas would she have made sure that he had his medicines when he needed them - - sacrificing what she wanted or needed for his needs? Would she have loved him and comforted him and taken care of him when she wanted to do something else or be somewhere else? Or would she have just said "enough of this" when things became unpleasant and euthanized him BEFORE he needed to be, or would she have dumped him off somewhere or perhaps brought him to your doorstep and said "here, you can have him" in such bad health that YOU would have had to make the decision to put him at rest? And then how would you feel - - that you had let him go back to her?
Tom's Dad, none of us have the privilege of foresight as to how things are going to work out with the decisions we make and the actions we do. Our furkids accept us for who we are regardless of our employment status, financial means, or social acceptance. Sir Thomas NEVER blamed you for what you weren't able to do for him and always forgives you for your moments of temporary indiscretion. Sir Thomas knows beyond all shadow of a doubt that you love him and did the very best for him that you could under the circumstances at the time. So, please try to put your mind and heart at rest and not allow this horrendous guilt to deprive you of the most precious gift you have - - the gift of having been Sir Thomas' earthly caregiver and the recipient of his eternal love.
Tom's Dad, I hope you will find some comfort and encouragement in what I have shared with you today, and that it will bring hope to your heart. Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you moon_beam. This person was NOT my girlfriend (probably what fed her psychosis) She was just someone I felt sorry for and tried to help out. I actually had her bring Tom (rather insisted, actually) on one her first pre-move vistes to see if Louisville was to her liking. I had discovered that she was leaving him in a 2nd story apartment in the summer heat with no AC. Tom took to my apartment right away, but not me so much. The first time I picked him up, he slapped my glasses across the room. Turns out the theory was he was afraid of men from where ever he came from. Her neighbor or co-worker had found him wandering the yard. Her solution to his misbehaving was to beat him up and throw him in his carrier. I put my foot down as it's my home and I make the rules. I let him hide under the chair and come out in his own time. I plied him with treats until he trusted me and eventually I had my own furry shadow. I'm sure that didn't set well with her. As for what kind of care he would have had with her? Well, she vehemently denied he was diabetic even when I showed her the vet papers in court. This was months after he was diagnosed and my vet said we caught it just in time to make any appreciable difference. Her mother HATED him and made no secret of it. He would have gone to that environment with strange men and BIG dogs. So, I guess to answer your question, If I had let her take him, I suppose he would have been miserable and prematurely dead. When she and her parents came to collect her things (court ordered with police escort - last part was my idea) he would not come out from under the end table until they were gone. It was like he was scared I was going to let her have him? I know all this in my head. But it's in my heart I'm having a hard time with. I do think about the good times, but when I do, I am rudely remined that they will never come again. He has not visited me in a while, and even when he does it's always so cryptic
"I know all this in my head. But it's in my heart I'm having a hard time with."
Hi, Tom's Dad, it does take awhile for our hearts to catch up to what our minds know for a fact. I wish there was some way this could happen sooner than later - - a part of reconciling the guilt that accompanies this grief journey.
I am so glad that Sir Thomas found his home with you, Tom's Dad. You won his heart and devotion through your patient love, and you are honored to have his enduring love forever with you, Tom's Dad - - even when the "communication" between you seems silent. I guarantee you, Tom's Dad, it is never silent for Sir Thomas will always be talking to you - - he's always a heartbeat close to you - - for he is forever a part of your heart. So, he will always continue to share with you in your earthly journey just as he always has. Your "good times" now and through the rest of your earthly journey will continue to be shared with him.
Tom's Dad, hang in here. I hope each day will bring peace and comfort to your heart so that you can once again enjoy Sir Thomas' sweet Spirit in your life. You are a good furchild dad, Tom's Dad. Please know you and your sweet Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Tom's Dad, it does take awhile for our hearts to catch up to what our minds know for a fact. I wish there was some way this could happen sooner than later - - a part of reconciling the guilt that accompanies this grief journey.
I am so glad that Sir Thomas found his home with you, Tom's Dad. You won his heart and devotion through your patient love, and you are honored to have his enduring love forever with you, Tom's Dad - - even when the "communication" between you seems silent. I guarantee you, Tom's Dad, it is never silent for Sir Thomas will always be talking to you - - he's always a heartbeat close to you - - for he is forever a part of your heart. So, he will always continue to share with you in your earthly journey just as he always has. Your "good times" now and through the rest of your earthly journey will continue to be shared with him.
Tom's Dad, hang in here. I hope each day will bring peace and comfort to your heart so that you can once again enjoy Sir Thomas' sweet Spirit in your life. You are a good furchild dad, Tom's Dad. Please know you and your sweet Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
You're a very good man Tom'sDad. Don't let the guilt screw with your head. Most, if not all, of us on this site battle with it to some degree or other. It’s just part of the grief process…
You were a wonderful father to Sir Thomas and you should take comfort in that. How he is buried is neither here nor there...What’s important is the love you gave him while he was alive…And from what I can gather, Sir Thomas was in no way shortchanged there…
He was one lucky cat!
Mark
You were a wonderful father to Sir Thomas and you should take comfort in that. How he is buried is neither here nor there...What’s important is the love you gave him while he was alive…And from what I can gather, Sir Thomas was in no way shortchanged there…
He was one lucky cat!
Mark
hi tom's dad
i think one of the hardest struggles us humans have is the disconnect between what our minds know vesus what our hearts feel. from everything i read here i see that sir thomas was right where he was safest, healthiest and happiest. it is pretty clear too that each person who has responded to you sees it the same way. maybe you could print this out or come visit this thread each time you feel that guilt starting to build up.
it know it is hard to hold onto, but a truly uncaring or irresponsible furparent would not even consider questioning their behaviour, it is only the ones that have a real sincere desire to do the very best they can by their pet that always think about what they could have done better or differently for their beloved.
i konw you might not have the money now, but later when you have a little bit extra somewhere you could think about something you could do with the clay paw print to make into some sort of memorial type thing somehow putting his name and years of life with it (just a thought and if you weren't sure what to do to make it look befitting of a Sir, we here could help with ideas).
take gentle care
i think one of the hardest struggles us humans have is the disconnect between what our minds know vesus what our hearts feel. from everything i read here i see that sir thomas was right where he was safest, healthiest and happiest. it is pretty clear too that each person who has responded to you sees it the same way. maybe you could print this out or come visit this thread each time you feel that guilt starting to build up.
it know it is hard to hold onto, but a truly uncaring or irresponsible furparent would not even consider questioning their behaviour, it is only the ones that have a real sincere desire to do the very best they can by their pet that always think about what they could have done better or differently for their beloved.
i konw you might not have the money now, but later when you have a little bit extra somewhere you could think about something you could do with the clay paw print to make into some sort of memorial type thing somehow putting his name and years of life with it (just a thought and if you weren't sure what to do to make it look befitting of a Sir, we here could help with ideas).
take gentle care
Thank you all for the kind words of support. I have just been feeling kind of numb, going through the motions each day. I try to give Theresa more attention, petting, play etc. She sleeps in the bed with me more now. I guess to her that was Tom's place. Hers was sitting on my lap when I watch TV, which she now rarely does. I have tried to be a better person as an object lesson for all the other bad things that have happened over the past year. Tom helped me do that, but with his passing, I feel as if I have lost the best part of me. Now, all I can do is try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth...
"Now, all I can do is try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth... "
Hi, Tom's Dad, your Theresa is also trying to find her "new place" in her home with you. She is also having to develop a "new normal" in her routines.
Tom's Dad, this all we can do - - to try to live our lives in a way that will honor our beloved companions' earthly journey with us and the wonderful lessons they taught us, and the miracle of unconditional eternal love we share with them.
Tom's Dad, your precious Sir Thomas is very proud of you. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to endure this grief journey when our hearts are shattered and all we really want to do is not to have to face the days of what feels like unyielding deep sorrow. We can't endure it alone, Tom's Dad, and your precious Sir Thomas doesn't want you struggling through your grief journey alone. For me it is a privilege to try to be one of many people on this forum who are here for you to offer you comfort and encouragement as you "try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth... " One day at a time, Tom's Dad, and we are here for you through the hard days and through the better days.
Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, Tom's Dad, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Tom's Dad, your Theresa is also trying to find her "new place" in her home with you. She is also having to develop a "new normal" in her routines.
Tom's Dad, this all we can do - - to try to live our lives in a way that will honor our beloved companions' earthly journey with us and the wonderful lessons they taught us, and the miracle of unconditional eternal love we share with them.
Tom's Dad, your precious Sir Thomas is very proud of you. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to endure this grief journey when our hearts are shattered and all we really want to do is not to have to face the days of what feels like unyielding deep sorrow. We can't endure it alone, Tom's Dad, and your precious Sir Thomas doesn't want you struggling through your grief journey alone. For me it is a privilege to try to be one of many people on this forum who are here for you to offer you comfort and encouragement as you "try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth... " One day at a time, Tom's Dad, and we are here for you through the hard days and through the better days.
Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, Tom's Dad, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jan 30 2011, 11:46 AM)
"Now, all I can do is try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth... "
Hi, Tom's Dad, your Theresa is also trying to find her "new place" in her home with you. She is also having to develop a "new normal" in her routines.
Tom's Dad, this all we can do - - to try to live our lives in a way that will honor our beloved companions' earthly journey with us and the wonderful lessons they taught us, and the miracle of unconditional eternal love we share with them.
Tom's Dad, your precious Sir Thomas is very proud of you. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to endure this grief journey when our hearts are shattered and all we really want to do is not to have to face the days of what feels like unyielding deep sorrow. We can't endure it alone, Tom's Dad, and your precious Sir Thomas doesn't want you struggling through your grief journey alone. For me it is a privilege to try to be one of many people on this forum who are here for you to offer you comfort and encouragement as you "try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth... " One day at a time, Tom's Dad, and we are here for you through the hard days and through the better days.
Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, Tom's Dad, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Tom's Dad, your Theresa is also trying to find her "new place" in her home with you. She is also having to develop a "new normal" in her routines.
Tom's Dad, this all we can do - - to try to live our lives in a way that will honor our beloved companions' earthly journey with us and the wonderful lessons they taught us, and the miracle of unconditional eternal love we share with them.
Tom's Dad, your precious Sir Thomas is very proud of you. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to endure this grief journey when our hearts are shattered and all we really want to do is not to have to face the days of what feels like unyielding deep sorrow. We can't endure it alone, Tom's Dad, and your precious Sir Thomas doesn't want you struggling through your grief journey alone. For me it is a privilege to try to be one of many people on this forum who are here for you to offer you comfort and encouragement as you "try to be a better person as much for his loving memory as I did FOR him when he was with me here on earth... " One day at a time, Tom's Dad, and we are here for you through the hard days and through the better days.
Please know you and your precious Theresa are in my thoughts and prayers, Tom's Dad, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you, moon_beam. I appreciate the company from Theresa in the bed, but miss her cuddling on my lap. But all things change, I guess. I appreciate all the kind words and support I get on here. I don't know that I ever really "work throught it" as much as push it aside in order to function. Example: The only other cat I had this level of bond with besides Tom was a Siamese named Chauncey who I litterally had all his 18 years of his life. I was not there when he died either (another story) He passed in 1995 and to this day it will still hit me. I suppose it will be the same with Tom for years to come. Sometimes I wonder if they have met on the Bridge, or as I sometimes suspected they are one in the same spirit. It would seem I have enough guilt and grief frequent flyer miles for a lifetime. One day at a sime, I suppose (sigh)
"It would seem I have enough guilt and grief frequent flyer miles for a lifetime."
Hi, Tom's Dad, I'm smiling at your description of "frequent flyer miles." Oh yes, I can relate to that. The experiences we have during this earthly journey can certainly leave a lot to be desired sometimes. I do believe your precious Chauncey and Sir Thomas are happy together and sharing their love for you, and they are patiently waiting for your appropriate time to join them in eternal joy.
I hope that life is treating you and your precious Theresa kindly, Tom's Dad. May each day bring more comfort and peace to your hearts. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Tom's Dad, I'm smiling at your description of "frequent flyer miles." Oh yes, I can relate to that. The experiences we have during this earthly journey can certainly leave a lot to be desired sometimes. I do believe your precious Chauncey and Sir Thomas are happy together and sharing their love for you, and they are patiently waiting for your appropriate time to join them in eternal joy.
I hope that life is treating you and your precious Theresa kindly, Tom's Dad. May each day bring more comfort and peace to your hearts. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
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