Hi Guys

I can't remember the last time I really cried...probably when my mum died back in 2000. My dog Bruno got ill last November 25 2010 and my dad and I tried everything possible to get him better. We saw lots of vets and made Bruno as comfortable as possible.

I must admit that while Bruno was ill it caused me to sink into a deep depression which obliterated any happiness over the Christmas and New Year period.

I now feel the 'black cloud' I've been suffering is at last drifting way from my mind. Today's the first day I haven't full-on cried (I certainly have had tears in my eyes on several occasions when I get a happy flashback of Bruno) so I'm hoping that my no longer crying is a sign that I will now be able to bounce back from my sadness and get on with my life again?

I made this video tribute for Bruno if you would like to see it. From approx 3 mins in there is some nice HD footage I took of Bruno and my dad on a beach one Christmas Day a few years ago.

Take care

Peter

Peter, I am so sorry for your loss of Bruno, but I'm glad you are having happy memories and are feeling better. It's a long road. It has been over a year for me and I still have times that I cry for my Brutus. There is no time limit..it is different for everyone. There were times I thought I had come to acceptance only to slide back all the way to denial and anger and have to start over again. Just know that whatever you are feeling, this is a great place to come and share, everyone here understands. We know how important Bruno was to you.

I started watching your video and Bruno was such a beautiful happy dog. I couldn't watch much (I don't have highspeed internet at my house), but I will be sure and watch it in it's entirety when I get back to work next week. What a lovely tribute of your boy. I always wanted to do a youtube of Brutus, but am clueless to how to do any of that stuff, you are very talented.

Hugs to you and your furangel Bruno,
Sonya

Hi, Peter, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Bruno. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

Peter, this grief journey is filled with so many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds. As Sonya has already so compassionately shared with you, our hearts will always yearn for our beloved companions who are now with the angels, and some days will be easier than others to adjust to their physical absence. So, in adding to Sonya's wise words, you are among friends here who do understand what you are feeling on any given day at given moment. We are here for you for as long and often as you need us. We are here to share your ups and downs, and your wonderful memories of your precious Bruno. We are here to share with you whatever is in your heart that you feel comfortable sharing with us.

Thank you, Peter, so much for sharing your precious Bruno with us and this wonderful tribute you have made in his memory to your earthly journey together. Hopefully in time you will know that your Bruno's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do, that he is still sharing your life just as he always has and always will.

Peter, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks Sonya and moon_beam for your beautiful posts

Yeah I can already see how grieving for a beloved pet will be a long road. The regular flashbacks of Bruno being in and around the house are heartbreaking and make my eyes brim with tears, but often I get memories of happy moments that make me chuckle, or at least smile. I'm glad I found this forum. It is so sad to read other peoples' accounts of losing their pets but it is heartening to read the words of experience and encouragement from other lightning-strike forum friends.

Making the tribute video for Bruno was my way of paying him the best possible tribute I could think of. I had read somewhere online that when a pet dies it can help to create something to remember them by from the bottom of your heart, so the video was the best I could think of.

Bruno's ashes are downstairs now in our warm livingroom and I find it comforting that he is with us. Whenever I've felt really sad these last couple of days I've walked into the livingroom, had a little happy 'chat' with his ashes box, and given it a little kiss. It helps me a lot to do that.

It was difficult for the first few days after he passed to feel like he was with me. Perhaps that had something to do with his body being at the crematorium at that time, or maybe I just had this enormous sense of devastation that made me feel desperately lonely and sad. Now that his ashes are back I feel a lot 'warmer' inside now about his passing. Maybe it's just time that has enabled me to feel this way. I really do feel that he's with me again. Occasionally I get flashes of his final days which make my heart break, but then I think about some happy times, and try to let the happy thoughts flood across the sad thoughts.

I am so sorry for your loss. I watched your video ... what a beautiful tribute to your beloved Bruno. There is so much joy and love on his little face - it's hard not to smile seeing him so happy.

Again, I am sincerely sorry for you loss.

Thanks so much for your comforting words Christina. I am so sorry to read about the loss of your little Spooky too. I hope you're keeping okay.

Big hugs,

Peter

Hi Peter,

I hope today is a little better for you. I lost my best friend Sassy Dec 13th and in many ways I don't think we ever get over the loss of our pals, but like you I have had a few days where the pain wasn't so visceral that I wanted to curl up and die.

Your relationship with Bruno is a special one, defining the relationship we have with our friends is difficult, but it explains why their loss is so excruciatingly painful, the devotion we share is unmatched. Can I ask how long you had Bruno, he had some very distinguished grey around his nose, a fine gent!

I don’t know what to do with the hole Sassy left in my heart, the ashes are comfort, I carry her from room to room throughout the day and evening and she spends the night in our bedroom next to me, it’s a close as I can get to having her back with me.

Take care of yourself, your tribute to Bruno is wonderful, I like the carwash footage!

I wish I had take video of Sassy. I have written a blog, this helps me remember her as this was one thing I feared most.

And take it one day at a time and do whatever you need to get through the day

Hi, Peter, getting our beloved companions' ashes back can be very comforting, and I am glad you found this to be true for you. I know what you mean about making the video. Projects like this help us to focus on the good life our beloved companions shared with us during their earthly journey, and this is how they want us to remember them. I am so glad you are feeling your precious Bruno's sweet Living Spirit close to you now. He is forever a part of you, Peter -- your precious Bruno is forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how things are going for you, Peter. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Cryss your blog is a lovely tribute to Sassy. The photo of her on the bike is wonderful. A gorgeous personality.
Bruno was 16 fast approaching 17 when we lost him. Yep he certainly was a distinguished gent with his white muzzle! Thanks so much for your supportive words they mean a lot to me and my dad.

moon_beam thanks again for your kind, comforting, words. I have been showing my dad your posts and he really appreciates them as much as I do. Thank you.

Yesterday I played the Bruno video on DVD in the livingroom (where his 'box' is kept) and cried for ages. By the time I finished crying I was exhausted and fell straight to sleep in an armchair for three hours. I feel a little better today and will try to be as active as possible.

Hi, Peter, I can relate to how hard it was for you to watch your Bruno's video. I made videos of my Oslo and Abbygayle, and I still can't watch them without sobbing. But when I remember them in my heart, this brings me much comfort.

I'm glad your dad is finding comfort from all the wonderful people here, and thank you for sharing my responses with him.

It is good that you are trying to be as active as possible, Peter, but be sure not to push yourself beyond your endurance right now. Grieving takes a toll on our physical bodies as well. It diminishes our natural immune system which makes us more susceptible to the "whatever" is circulating in general public. So just do what you feel up to doing - - the other stuff will still be there when you're feeling stronger to do it.

Peter, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your dad are doing. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Peter,

I just watched your video. It's beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. It's clear to see that you gave Bruno a wonderful and happy life, and in turn he gave you the same. Your love for him is moving. He will always be with you.

Take care of yourself and just take it one day at a time.
Cheryl

Hi moon_beam I'm glad your happy memories of Abbygayle and Oslo give you comfort. Sometimes I find a really specific happy memory can perk me up. Yes my dad really appreciates your responses. He simply can't believe that there are so many kind-willed and understanding pet-lovers out there in the world at the touch of a button. This is mainly because, as a pensioner, he hasn't really got the grasp of the technology we're using.

Yeah well to stay active I'm currently planning a blog in Bruno's memory that will have lots of links to charities, this site, and any site or organisation that can help animals. Will post a link when it's done. I have stopped swimming but hopefully will start again soon. When Bruno was ill and my anxiety levels were sky high due to worrying about him I found swimming every day helped me unwind a little.

Hi Cheryl thanks for your kind comments about my video for Bruno. I really appreciate your post. I hope you're keeping okay and also taking care of yourself.

Hi, Peter, bless your dad - - I can only handle so much of this "high technology" myself. I'm not quite a pensioner, but I can so relate to how intimidated your dad must feel by it. "Retirement" is out of the question for me. I have been trying to change jobs but employers now want someone who knows every computer program in existence, and I just don't have that capability. When I balance my checkbook I still use the good old fashioned pad, pencil, and calculator. And I go by the good old fashioned saying, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" - - "whatever works, don't mess around with it" -- and "progress is not always better."

I will look forward to seeing your blog when you have it set up. Swimming is an excellent way to exercise. In my much younger years I took ballet lessons, and this discipline helped me through my recovery and rehabilitation years later. But the exercise I enjoyed the most was horseback riding, but unfortunately because of my injuries I can no longer do that. I'm fortunate that I can still do the basic homeowner chores, but all out "exercise" is beyond me now.

Peter, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Just want to say that I am thinking of you today. You have been a big help to me.

Hi Peter,

What a wonderful video of your dog Bruno; it brought tears to my eyes. He looks like the happiest dog on earth! He was lucky to have you in his life. Truly a great tribute.

Your story touched me very much as I also lost my beloved dog Bruno a few weeks ago, on January 4th. I rescued him 16 years ago. He was my first dog and also my best friend. He was recently diagnosed with oral and bone cancer and was losing weight rapidly. I could not bear to watch him suffer any longer and had to make the most dreadful decision ever - to have him euthanized. I'm not sure how I got through the first 10 days without him.... I felt incredibly empty and lonely. I sobbed at home and at work and could barely function. I'm slowly pulling myself together thanks to my 2 remaining wonderful dogs (who lick the tears off my face when I'm crying!)

I look at photos and videos of my Bruno every day - from when he was a handsome young lad at 6 months to when he was a handsome, old, sick but very stoic dog who still managed to do a little dance every day when I got home from work. I've noticed that I am no longer just crying when I look at him; I am also able to smile and think about all the wonderful things we did together.

I feel your pain and sincerely hope that every day gets a little better for you like it has for me. Our Bruno dogs are probably playing together in the dog park in the sky!

Take care,
Saskia

I've attached a picture of Bruno on the day before his death; we were in the car on our way home from his favourite vacation spot - Long Beach on Vancouver Island.

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Hi moon_beam thank you for your kind post. Yeah it's unbelievable the way computers have seemingly taken over the world. Thank God, however, that as pet lovers some of our greatest joy comes from hugging or remembering our wonderful pets. A warm physical embrace or rich, happy, memory is always better than any old computer monitor! Yeah basic home chores can actually be really good exercise, and the advantage is that instead of arriving home in a sweaty tracksuit, you can run a hot bubble bath to unwind knowing your home is spick and span after your endeavors! Fantastic!

Hi Saskia your photo of your Bruno is absolutely beautiful. Such a lovely wee face and eyes I could swim in. I just want to reach out and hug him! Thank you for your kind comments about my tribute video. Aww that's wonderful your two other dogs are looking after you. I'm not sure if it's fact, but I think dogs can tell when we are sad. It's so lovely that you can give your guardian angels a big hug when you are tearful. Do you have any photos of them also you could post?

It's lovely Saskia that you are able to recall are your happy times together. That's really beautiful. You were very brave in taking him to the vet and he will be forever grateful. I would want someone to do the same for me. Yes our Brunos are definitely playing together in the sky, along with all the other little friends they've met on the way from both here and elsewhere.

Here's a 2 min 'animation' I drew with a mouse starring my dad and my Bruno, called Big Fitzy and the Oul Lad. I recorded Bruno barking for this

Hi Joanne

You are a big help to me also. Thank you for sharing your feelings and I hope you can look forward to a relaxing weekend.

Take care


Peter

Hi Peter,

That photo of my Bruno is also on the desktop of my laptop, so every time I open it he looks at me. I often find myself talking to him or kissing him on his head...if anybody saw me they'd probably think I'm some sort of nutcase kissing her laptop.

I agree with you that dogs are very intuitive and can tell when we're sad. My dachshund is especially sensitive to my moods. He's the one who licks the tears off my face when I'm sad. It's very sweet. I've attached a few pictures.... the dachshund is my 10 year old guardian angel named Louie, and the whippet is my 8 year old guardian angel named Frankie. She just had a small but malignant tumor removed from her leg :-( Supposedly it's a tumor that does not metastasize, but after losing Bruno to cancer I'm on high alert.

Your animation video is cool, I especially like the drawing (and sound) of Bruno barking at Fitzy. I hope this didn't happen for real?! I also watched Bruno's tribute again, it makes my heart melt. It also makes me wish I had more videos of my Bruno. I have loads of pictures, but only a handful of very amateurish short videos. You've inspired me to video tape my other dogs a lot more!

I hope you have a good weekend, do something nice for yourself - you deserve it!

Take care,
Saskia

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Hi Peter,

Thanks for your response. I immediately went and watched your video. I never took many pics of Kota, I just was in the present with her when we were together and I didn't think about the future and her leaving me. Bruno sure looks happy, energetic and attached to you and your dad. I know the quote you stated, from Rocky when he was lecturing his son out on the sidewalk. In that movie, he also said to the boxing commission, "The older I get, the more things I have to leave behind." I can remember the many times I used to take Kota kayaking at a nearby lake, summer after summer, and how proud I felt to have her standing in the bow of the kayak. But I can't seem to find smiles or remembrances of happy times. I am so lost without her. All the pain of all the breakups of all my old girlfriends, added together, doesn't even come close to the sadness I now have. I'm at a loss for words. You sound and look like a good dog-dad. Here's to Bruno.

Dennis

I'm a bit late in responding, thanks for the earlier nice words about Sassy. I like to think that through the blog as many people as possible get to know how special she was.

About you watching the DVD, I think we all do what we need to do. I have been talking to someone professionally about my grief and I have compared myself sometimes to a close friend who not long ago lost her dog after having him 14 years. She put everything away and basically cleared the house of his presence. I however am the opposite and have looked at photos and trinkets, her ashes, her fur, I cry a lot, I miss her a lot. He says each person experiences grief in different way. He said a professor that he studied under said that the grief felt at the loss of a friend was directly reflective of the love that we had for them. SO based on your extreme grief I would say that your love for Bruno knew no bounds.

I often think about the saying “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” the jury is still out on that one …. Also I thought if I wasn’t mourning her loss that I was forgetting her and doing her passing an injustice by “getting better’ but I realized that I am starting to live with this hole in my soul and that a life tinged with a little sadness will now become my norm.

Have you experienced this kind of loss before? I haven’t so for me this is a wakeup call, I can expect more sadness in my life, so that now plays on my mind too, losing my best friend has opened up many other feelings that I hadn’t acknowledged before.

Hope you are doing ok and doing what you need to do to stay safe and secure.

Take care of yourself

I just watched your video again (have watched it a few times) .....

And I just have one thing to say .... what are we going to do without these beautiful souls in our lives? I don't think I can truly live the way I used to without that special something in my heart.

The same way we do after all those big, life-changing events. Differently. Not better, sometimes worse- but differently. There isn't a half-full glass on this one- but if there was I'd say that (after seeing this website) you will have amazing compassion and empathy for others who have experienced loss- and you will be able to help them through it.

Hi, Peter, just stopping by to say "hello." I was reading your post to Joanne with the imagery of how bleak our sorrow makes us feel like the winter weather. I call this grief journey "the winter of the heart" - - the emptiness, barrenness, lifelessness from the deep sorrow of not having the physical presence of our beloved companions with us. Like the other wonderful people in this forum I am blessed by your video of your precious Bruno. Seeing the happiness he brought to your dad brought back many memories of how my Samson - - my very first dog and a gift to me from my mom - - brought joy into my mom's life in addition to mine. What a blessing that was to share with her, as I know you are feeling blessed to have shared Bruno's earthly journey with your dad.

Peter, as you begin to feel a "re-birth" in your heart as you watch the birds and other precious critters in your garden look forward to the warmth of spring, may your and your dad's heart also feel the warmth of your precious Bruno's sweet Living Spirit in your hearts and memories to cheer you as you continue your earthly journey.

Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, Peter, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your dad are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Saskia

Your photos of Louie, Frankie and Bruno are beautiful. Frankie's in my thoughts and prayers that she will stay healthy after her operation.

Thanks for your kind comments about my animation - ha ha yep it was all fictional luckily I'm shedding a quiet tear once a night when I watch my Bruno in the tribute video I made. Am keeping as busy as possible, but as many people have mentioned here, it's at nights when we can feel the loss of our pets the most. Yes I fully encourage you to record Frankie and Louie lots! I'm sure they will enjoy the extra attention!

Am going out with some family later for a birthday party so will try to enjoy myself with a few beers.

You take care and have a nice weekend also.

Hugs,

Peter

Hi Cryss I loved your blog post about Sassy smiling at you. So touching. The photo you have of her has captured her smile brilliantly. Makes me smile looking at her little face. I also loved your blog post about dogs being happy souls - that is so true. They have such zest for life and pure love and happiness!

Today (Sunday) is painful for my dad and I as it's today that we would normally have taken Bruno to the beach or country park.

I hope you're keeping okay this weekend.

Hugs, Peter

Hi moon_beam

Yeah the way you have described our grief journey as the winter of the heart is a really good description of what we're going through. Aww I'm glad Bruno's video brought back happy memories of your happy times with Samson and your mom. These happy memories bring smiles back to our faces when we least expect. I hope you're keeping okay. Are you having a relaxing weekend?

Last night I had lots of nightmares of Bruno's last moments which replayed in my mind and made me quite distressed. Am feeling a little chirpier today however. Am purposely trying to focus on looking at other dogs, cats, birds and squirrels and feeling blessed that I have the privilege to be alive on earth at this moment in time with their little lives. I even smiled at a tiny little spider which abseiled from my ceiling yesterday and landed on my fingertip!

Blessings, and take care

Peter

Hi Cryss

Well, this is the heaviest grief I've suffered since the abrupt passing of my mother back in January 2000 when I was 22. What I learned from my 'last' grief was not to allow myself to succumb to alcohol to try to 'drown my sorrows', which is the path I previously, incorrectly, chose. Now that Bruno has passed away, I'm staying pretty active and getting on with things. For sure, I've been sharing a few beers with my dad to reminisce about Bruno, but have been keeping it under control. I think that by staying as clear-headed as possible it's less difficult to cope with the grief. Alcohol, as you know, is a depressant...so by at least keeping that in check I have been able to cope a bit better with my loss of Bruno.

I look forward to reading your latest blog posts.

Take care.


Peter

Hi, Peter, it's so good to hear from you today. I have been wondering how things are for you and your dad in the Emerald Isle. I am so sorry that your dreams were not restful or peaceful for you last night. For different reasons I can relate to your "flashback" dreams. They are very distressing and haunting, and is one of the harsher side-effects of this grief journey that is more difficult to reconcile. I hope the wildlife and the beautiful Irish scenery are restoring solitude to your heart and memories.

Yesterday was busy working on getting bills paid and finishing preparing my tax information which tomorrow after work I will turn over to the gentleman who prepares my taxes for me. The older I get the less I'm able to understand all the foolery of the tax laws and forms for this and forms for that. So today Noah is enjoying the sunbeams coming through the windows as I'm watching classic movies on the Turner Classic Movie channel in addition to enjoying watching the antics of the squirrels and birds and other woodland critters, and watching Noah watch the antics of the woodland critters.

Peter, thank you so much for sharing how you're doing. May your heart be filled with the wonder of Nature and your loving memories of Bruno. I hope the sun is shining brightly on your garden today, may the wind be always at your back, may the rain fall softly upon your fields, and may the Lord hold you, your dad, and all those close to you in the palm of His hand. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

Yeah I submitted my accounts to an accountant recently also. It took me ages just trying to get all my receipts and things in order. Hate having to do it! That sounds like a tremendous relaxing day you shared with Noah - idyllic. Also, nothing like a good movie to relax to.

Have had a very blue day today, thinking about Bruno all the time...but kind of feel in my heart that after a good night's sleep tomorrow will be better. Will post again soon when I'm a little less blue.

Take care & chat soon


Peter

Hi, Peter, stopping by to say "hello" and to see how things are going for you and your dad in the beautiful Emerald Isle. I hope this past week was a peaceful one for you both. The "blue days" are really hard. Yesterday was Oslo's 14 month anniversary of joining the angels and it was a "misty" day for me off and on. Today is a better day, and for that I am grateful.

Peter, I do hope that life is treating you kindly. I hope this coming week will be filled with many pleasant moments for you. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

Thanks so much for your kind post. You are so thoughtful, I really appreciate it.

Last night I was dreadfully sad and cried myself to sleep looking at photos of Bruno on my phone. Have been feeling much chirpier today, but not as chirpy as the little bird in a tree outside my bedroom window which begins to sing at midnight right through until dawn! They have a friend in another far-off tree who sings back to them. Perhaps they rise prematurely due to the street lighting but they seem happy enough!

I'm sorry to hear you had a sad day missing your beloved Oslo. You are such a considerate soul I can just tell that Oslo's spirit is right there with you every time you tap your keyboard to post in this forum, and when you are relaxing at home. I think it's a knock-on effect of the beloved spirits of our pets that we become able to share our thoughts and feelings with others in the hope that they might help others who are grieving in any way possible.

I've bought the domain www.brunospaws.com and only have a site design up there at the moment with test content. In the next few weeks I'll try to get some real content on it - basically any links to here or elsewhere that might benefit pets worldwide in any way. Will post when it's properly up and running. As the domain suggests, it will be an extension of my tribute to my beloved Bruno.

My dad's only just starting to get back to normal. He sang yesterday as he went about his housework I'm sure for the first time since before Bruno got ill. When Bruno got ill last November we pretty much crept about in silence so as to make him as peaceful as possible. Next time I catch my dad singing I'll be sure to join in!

I'm trying to stay pretty active, getting back into some writing and video editing, but Bruno is never far from my thoughts. As many people seem to mention here, the nights can be the times when we miss our pets the most. As a result of this, lately I've been staying up very late and only sleeping once my eyes start to go together. Otherwise there's a real chance that I wake suddenly in the middle of the night and get a huge sinking feeling that Bruno is no longer physically with us, and I have trouble getting back to sleep.

Actually, it's 3.30am now and my eyes are starting to close! Take care of yourself moon_beam and I'll chat to you soon.

Peter

Hi, Peter, the nights are hard to manage, particularly during the deep grief. I'm so glad to know that your dad is beginning to sing again - - the heavenly Irish voice. Our routines do change when our beloved companions' health declines. I can so imagine that your precious Bruno is smiling and looking forward to hearing the heavenly voices of his masters lifted to him in song again - - I can just see him nodding his head and wagging his tail in tempo listening intently at the Bridge.

I admire your technology know how in setting up the website, and will look forward to seeing the rewards of your efforts whenever possible. I hope and pray that this week will be a peaceful one for you and your dad, Peter, and that your nights will be blessed with peaceful sleep. Perhaps the birds outside your bedroom window can sing you a calming lullaby.

Take care, Peter. You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to hearing from you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks for your lovely message moon_beam

Tonight when I came into the empty house I felt compelled to call for Bruno like I used to, and imagined him running down excitedly from the top of the stairs to greet me. Then, I'd hug and pet him like mad and he'd jump up on me...and maybe I'd turn up a song on the radio and we'd dance a little! His tail would always be wagging. I loved Bruno so much and I'm only starting to come to terms with his passing I think.

I hope you and everyone else here are taking things easy and ensuring you make time for quiet moments to reflect on how lucky we are to have been able to spend time with our little friends in their physical form.

I do feel like Bruno is near me and watching over me with my mum. For any of you grieving over your little friends I really believe that they are watching over you also...so the important thing is to get on with living on their behalf. Next time you dig into some tasty food, think of your little friends, because I feel that they are right there with you, chowing down and tasting just as you do. Next time you go for a brisk walk in the fresh air, imagine that your little friends are feeling your legs moving with every stride you take, and are breathing and exhaling each time you fill your chest with oxygen. Next time we sleep, our little friends are sleeping right there with us...in us...and that's the way things will be. We must live life so they, whether it be in spirit or energy form, can continue to live through us.

Candles lit in St Peter's Cathedral, Belfast, today for my dog Bruno (wee Bruno brown eyes) exactly one month after he passed away, aged 16, on January 5th 2011

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This was Bruno:

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Here is a tribute video I made for Bruno which is up on YouTube:


My heart is broken and aches every day for him. I miss him by my side. Most of all, I miss our hugs.

Hi, Peter, it's so good to log on to find your most welcome note letting us know how you're doing. I know the ache in your heart as you miss your precious Bruno. The process of adjusting to our continued earthly journey without the physical presence of our beloved companions is not an easy one, and there is no fast forward through it. The candles you lit today in loving memory and honor of your precious Bruno reflect the love always burning bright and warm in your heart for him. What a loving tribute to your precious Bruno.

I so agree with your imagery of how our beloved companions continue to share in our lives just as they always have and always will. Thank you so much for sharing with us your cherished memories with your precious Bruno.

Every time I watch your video of Bruno's earthly journey with you and your dad it warms my heart and brings a smile to my face for the love you share together is eternally deep and rich.

I hope you and your dad will have a peaceful day and weekend, Peter, and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. May your hearts glow with the eternal love you share wtih your precious Bruno, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

that is so beautiful, thankyou for sharing that ... i just love it. i'd like to print it out and put it on my fridge if that would be ok with you, please.

he looks like he is smiling in that gorgeous photo. the tribute is wonderful, when he's barking he really looks like he's talking.

i understand the broken heart and the aching for the physical presence of your furbaby ... i feel exactly that too. i only tell you that so that you can maybe feel a little less alone in your hurting with all us here riding alongside you on this journey.

take the gentlest care of you

Hi Rain

Of course, if I ever say anything that might be of use, feel free to use my words. I just read back through your entire thread about little Bohdi. My heart aches for you and what you have been going through. I'll post on your thread now...

Hi moon_beam

I know what you mean by there being no fast forward. Today when I lit the candles it was as if time stood still. It really brought it home at that moment how profoundly I am missing Bruno and how recent his passing actually is. I think it's easy to try to move on too quickly in life from grieving...but due care and attention must be paid to the grief process, I feel, because otherwise it can catch up on you and overwhelm you, as has happened to me today.

I hope you're also having a relaxing weekend moon_beam, and everyone else here. Eat well, take time to reflect, and rest lots. We are definitely not alone on this journey.

Take care

Peter

Hi, Peter, greetings to you and your dad across the "great pond" to the beautiful Emerald Isle this Sunday morning from Virginia. Yes, it is vitally important to allow yourself to grieve the physical loss of your precious Bruno. Trying to suppress it or rationalize it or become stoic only compounds the grief adjustment journey, and can actually cause both physical and emotional challenges further down the road. Our society in general, and that includes our global society for people are people no matter where you go, barely give us permission to grieve openly for the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Once the funeral or memorial service is performed, our society believes our grieving is over with - - life goes on, get on with it When it comes to our beloved companions, while we may initially receive sincere sympathy from human family members and friends, the feeling of "it's just a . . ." becomes obvious when they no longer want to "hear about it." And so, in order to "survive" in what is referred to as "the normal world" we suppress our grief and put on a "putblic face" so that others will not be angered or confused or embarrassed by our normal grief.

I know what it's like to have to do this - - both with my own immediate family members as well as when I'm at work and out and about in the public. So, I do my grieving privately here at home, and I know there is one place I can come to where I will be accepted for who I am and what I am feeling - - here among my friends on Lightning Strike.

So, Peter, please know you do not ever have to put on a "public face" here. Please know we will ALWAYS truly and sincerely and honestly want to know how you're doing both now and years down the road - - there is no "expiration date" here in this forum. Each phase of this grief adjustment journey is different, and each of us travel this grief adjustment journey differently. We are here for each other, and it is through our individual and collective strength that each of us find the courage and support and hope to keep moving forward in our earthly journey in a way that will honor our beloved companions.

This weekend has been a busy one. My garage has been a bit cluttered with recyclicables and special trash items. The weather has not been cooperative for me to go into the city to drop things off at the collection center, so I straightend up the garage a bit yesterday and organized things so that it isn't quite so cluttered now. I was a bit exhausted after that. I gated off the garage door that leads into the kitchen so that Noah could watch what I was doing, and he kept vigil over me until I was done. We are taking it easy today, and as I'm writing to you Noah is stretched out next to me in the sunbeams coming through the window. But I'm also "planning" in my mind on rearranging some things here in the basement living quarters to make the space more organized and easier to dust. But the actual physical employment of this "planning" will be done on a different day. Today is a "lazy day."

The sun is shining brightly and our temperatures are supposed to get into the upper 40's, maybe 50 something today and maybe tomorrow, but then they are to plummet again as a reminder that it is still definitely winter here. Snow is in the forecast for Thursday. I have arranged to have Thursday off from work iin anticipation of having some work done to upgrade my security system which monitors for fire, burglary, and medical emergencies. Knowing that efforts will be made to rescue Noah should a fire or break in occur while I'm not home is comforting to me, and since I'm the only human in the household and not getting any younger, having the medical alert is beneficial too. The upgrade will be to transfer the monitoring from a land line phone system to a cell phone system, which will then allow me to cancel my land line phone service and just use my cell phone. The land line phone service has become so expensive, and I have been keeping it primarily for the security system monitoring. The funds that I will "save" from not having to pay for a land line phone system will now go to paying the increase in electric service imposed by the electric company because of increased charges (not increased actual usage). This winter I have been using space heater in the basement living quarters instead of the furnace installed just for the basement, while only using the separate unit for the upstairs with the temperature turned down to about 65. I used the air conditioning very sparingly last summer here in the basement while relying primarily on fans to cool and circulate the air. It's incredible to me that the less electricity I use and try to conserve the higher my electric bill becomes because of the increased charges for the "privilege" of having electricity. In the 15 years I have been in my current home, my electric bill has tripled in cost. It does give me pause for the future years as I become more advanced in my senior years and budget conscious financial resources.

But - - enough of this. I hope today is a better one for you, Peter, and that you feel your Bruno's sweet Living Spirit with you. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, Peter, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing. Say hello to the birds and other woodland critters in your garden for me.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Peter,
What a sweet face Bruno had. He looks like a love. Those of us who come here certainly know what you are going through. I am glad Moon-Beam said what she did about not having to put on a happy face here. This is the one place I can come now to really express how I am feeling about Zoe's death.
You have been very supportive of me and I want you to know I totally understand how you described coming home and missing Bruno's greeting you. Zack still greets me but he was always with his sister to greet me after a long day at work and a long commute. I can picture Bruno coming to greet you the way you described him in your note.
All I can say for both of us is to hang on until happier times come to us.
Joanne

Hi moon_beam

I'm glad you got your garage sorted out and I'm sorry to hear your electricity bill is expensive - are there alternative competitor electricity companies you could perhaps try? Regardless, you sound like you have your heating and air-conditioning well planned and I hope that you have comfortable days and nights as a result of this. I'm also glad to hear you're having your emergency system modified to suit your cell phone as opposed to your landline. It's great that Noah is clearly part of your plans and that you allow Noah the opportunity to watch over you. The little bird outside my window has started singing and it's 10.42pm (UK time) Sunday night. I've been getting used to the little bird now. Still not sure what kind of bird it is because it's very dark but it's a small little thing that sits on the same branch every night. I was worried that the little thing might not be able to eat if it's up all night, but it must be eating something somewhere because it's still there, singing its little heart out!

Hi Joanne it's tremendous to hear that little Zack greets you every day. Although Zoe is never far from your thoughts I bet that Zack's warm little body gives you great comfort.

This past week I've been okay I think. Well, actually, last Monday I cried my heart out until I was exhausted and fell asleep after watching Bruno's video...but since then I haven't been too bad and have gotten on with things. Each day I find myself still saying things to Bruno as if he's still with me...and I think that's because I believe he really is still with me, not physically of course, but around me and within me. I love him and miss him but take strength from believing that he has become part of me.

I hope you are all taking things gently. Treat yourself when possible and take care.

Hi, Peter, it's so good to catch up with you and to share your news. Perhaps your Bruno has sent you this little bird to sing to you - - to let you know he is thinking of you and recalling all the wonderful times you would sing to him and dance with him.

I am so sorry last Monday was so hard for you, Peter. The good days are great, but the bad days are really very hard, aren't they? Your precious Bruno is truly forever with you, Peter - - always a heartbeat close to you.

That little bird is just so precious - - how wondeful he comes to visit you and sing to you every night. I hope you will have a peaceful night, Peter. Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I look forward to knowing how things are going with you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, Peter, just stopping by to say hello, and to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope life is treating you kindly these days.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

Thanks for your kind message. As I write this the little bird is singing in the tree outside my window again, and I'm taking comfort from your idea that the little bird may have been sent by Bruno to keep me company in these lonely nights.

How are you keeping?

Peter

Hi, Peter, so good to hear from you and to know the little bird is still serenading you, and hopefully bringing some joy into your life. Things have been busy with me - - doing some re-arraning of furniture here in the homestead to make it easier for me to clean and navigate, which has been a very exhausting and physically challenging project for this old gal. Glad to say the my little Noah has taken everything in stride, and is accepting of the changes - - which really have been more along the lines of "what once was is once again." I must confess this will be the LAST furniture re-arranging project that I will be able to do on my own. Any future such projects will need to be done by someone much younger and stronger than I.

I hope things are going okay with you and your dad, Peter. I do know how difficult it must be for you both to adjust to the physical absence of your precious Bruno. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Peter, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

That's great to hear you've completed your furniture rearranging and that Noah took it all in stride

These past few weeks I've found it exhaustingly upsetting to muster up words to discuss Bruno or offer advice to others. I'm starting to unwind a little and should be on the forum again a bit more. It's so heartbreaking seeing everyone's grief over their beloved companions and I think of everyone here every day with great sorrow in my heart.

I was filming some professional horse racing the other day and unfortunately a horse tripped and had broken its leg. A big tent 'wall' was put up around it. I had to walk past to get to my next camera position and feared the worst that I might hear some cry of pain or something...so I walked past as quickly as I could. Just as I past, the bolt-sounding clack of a gunshot went off, and I jumped out of my skin. All the emergency staff in attendance didn't move. I walked on, feeling pretty shaken and so sorry for that little horse and can't get it out of my head. Nonetheless, for Bruno's 2 month anniversary, when I lit candles for him, I kept in mind the beautiful horse I never knew who passed away just last Wednesday as I walked past.

My dad's keeping busy and helping me out a lot so we're not doing too bad. Still, though, I find the nights the most difficult. Some nights I almost feel sick I'm so sad that I'm not able to reach out and pet Bruno or wish him goodnight. Lighting a little candle has helped a lot though. I think I'll light more candles after 3 months since he's passed.

moon_beam I hope you have a lovely relaxing week with Noah and lots of peaceful nights rest.

Peter

Hi, Peter, how so sad about the horse. I still get images of Barbaro and his bravery not to succumb to laminitis. When I read that he had developed it on all four hooves I could not fathom how the vets could have done anything else for him except to relieve him from his struggle.

I know what you mean about the evenings being the hardest, and perhaps that's why the little bird comes to serenade you - - Bruno's way of letting you know he's with you.

I'm also glad to know your dad is doing okay - - that you two gentlemen are doing as well as possible under the circumstances.

Peter, please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you both will have a peaceful evening tonight, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam and everyone else on the forum

Having lost my mum in 2000 and then my beloved Bruno in January 2011, each time the grief was so agonizing I just wanted to curl up into a ball for the rest of my days.

I can confirm that it does get a little less painful with every new day.

I just want to share some little 'tips' that are working for me. They may not work for you, but I felt they might be worth sharing anyhow...

* I think it helps to observe and interact with as much nature as possible. For example in the past few weeks I had the courtesy of supervising some chicks and bunnies on a visit to a care home for the elderly. Was fun and touching. I also try to watch birds and insects and other animals wherever possible.

* It's important to try not to dwell on the sad memories of our loved ones. These can only make us miserable and is not how our loved ones would want us to feel. Instead, we need to force ourselves to think of the happy memories.

* If you cannot yet face a new pet, a brand new big cuddly toy of an animal such as a cat or bear or goat can be very useful for big hugs, and chats if you so wish, on days you feel sad.

* Feel free to cry your heart out whenever you feel like it. Repressing this need to let it all out only results in a sore head and miserable bad form for me. After a good cry you can feel a lot better.

Thanks for hearing me out. I hope you are all keeping okay.

Peter

Hi, Peter, oh it's so good to see you again with us. Even though we have not corresponded for awhile please know you are close in my thoughts and prayers.

Your suggestions are so o o wonderful - - thank you for sharing them with us.

I have been wondering how you and your dad have been doing. I'm wondering if you still have a little bird come to sing you a lullaby at bedtime (which may or may not always be appreciated).

Peter, thank you so very much for coming today and sharing with us how you're doing. And thank you for the honor and privilege of sharing your beloved Bruno with us. I hope life is treating you and your dad kindly. Please do know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to sharing your news whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Peter...it's nice to meet you. I'm so sorry for your losses.......Those tips are so interesting and even more interesting that is exactly what my husband and I have been doing. Our Mickey died of heart failure 5 months ago and this weekend for some weird reason has been hard for us.

We feed stray cats at night and whatever else comes by the carport. We feed the birds in the backyard. We have lots of little songbirds, doves, cardinals, etc. Also squirrels, chipmunks, and rabbits come by.

I do try to think of the happy and fun times we had with Mickey, but the tears just won't stop at times.

Before he got real sick those last few days, I did buy a life-size toy of a white Maltese, although Mickey was half Pekingese. It does look a lot like him and he gets lots of hugs and head rubs.

These things do help.....Thank you and God Bless...

LoveMyMickey

Hi Peter,

I hope you are doing well. I love those tips you posted. I think they are all very helpful. I don't know if you saw what I wrote in my thread about your video tribute, but I wanted to tell you how sweet and touching it is. Bruno was such a handsome boy. I'm also very sorry for your loss of your mom, but I'm glad you have found these things that help you deal with your grief. I hope you are having a peaceful week and you are in my thoughts.

Much love.

Cinder's Mama